Tell us something about you that sounds FAKE

[MYTraveler]

Since the subject of celebrities has come up, I have a few good ones to share.

The first was in the late 70's (or so). I was at a Denny's Coffee Shop very late one night in the San Fernando valley. The place was about empty and I was with a girl in a booth near the back. In comes this loud group of teenagers -- mostly girls. They kept getting louder and louder so finally I asked them to keep it down. One of the girls turned to me and asked "Do you know who I am?" I responded "no". She said "Joan Jett", with lots of confidence, but I still didn't know who she was, and told her so. She said, remember my name because some day when you are in your 60's and I am famous, you will be telling people you met me.

Maybe later I will tell my Neil Diamond or Osmond Brothers or Lou Rawls (all former clients) stories.

The other was in the early 80's. I was at the Sheritan Commander in Cambridge Mass, trying to find a room where I had a business meeting scheduled. I was running late and the floors and room numbering were confusing. Just as I realised I was on the wrong floor, I heard a squeaky little voice from down the hall. I thought to myself "that sounds like Felix Unger" from the odd couple. Sure enough, he held the elevator door for me and it was him (Tony Randal). I said something to him and he said "This is the man you want to meet" -- and then I realized that Bob Hope was also in the elevator.

 

[Northern Spy]

I am an expert on ships built out of concrete.

 

[syjos]

Since the subject of celebrities has come up, I have a few good ones to share.

The first was in the late 70's (or so). I was at a Denny's Coffee Shop very late one night in the San Fernando valley. The place was about empty and I was with a girl in a booth near the back. In comes this loud group of teenagers -- mostly girls. They kept getting louder and louder so finally I asked them to keep it down. One of the girls turned to me and asked "Do you know who I am?" I responded "no". She said "Joan Jett", with lots of confidence, but I still didn't know who she was, and told her so. She said, remember my name because some day when you are in your 60's and I am famous, you will be telling people you met me.

Winner! Winner!

 

[Greg S]

At a local golf course I was paired up with Will Miller. I don't know who he is or what he does so I asked what he's been doing. He tells me he's been on a tour, Australia and New Zealand and area. I figured I hadn't been straightforward enough and figured he'd been on vacation. So I asked him a bit more straight out, what he did for a living. "Music." he says, "Celtic stuff." Oh! Says I. "Can you make a living at that?" He told me he could.
A while later at the clubhouse someone enlightened me about green alligators and Irish singers and such.

My son was with me. He assures me that the question about whether Will could make a living with Celtic music actually came out of my mouth in my out-in-public voice.

 

[Mako]

For several years I worked in the movie industry - post production. Worked with a lot of big names (Ridley and Tony Scott, Costner, Soderbergh, Rodriguez, etc). But the one guy who I was most floored to meet, at a charity golf tournament in Palm Beach, was Dave Thomas. Mr. Wendy's himself. This was back around 2000 or just before. It was so cool speaking to him and hanging in the golf cart. Soft spoken, sweet guy.

Funny how some small things leave a lasting impression.

 

[Genecop]

1987 climbing a Buddhist mountain in China, I fought off two screwdriver wielding Chinese guys with my backpack and a front kick..

 

[twistedtree]

I have often wondered what happened to that young Italian doctor and how traumatised he must have been by the whole event.

Great story.


His name is Dr Fauci

 

[Codger2]

My celebrity story is as follows: Years ago while making my sales calls in Tucson, I stopped for the day at my hotel, the Executive Inn, for a cocktail. When entering the bar, it was dark, I could hear a lot of talking at the other end but I couldn't quite make out who was doing all the talking. After waiting about 5 minutes for the bar maid to serve me, I grew impatient and slammed an ash tray down on the bar. The maid immediately arrived and apologized for the delay. Before I could give her my order, a guy sat down next to me and introduced himself as Michael Landon. He offered to buy my scotch on the rocks and immediately started telling me why he liked this particular bar. He explained that his daughter was enrolled at the University of Arizona & he was paying her a visit. I ask why he wanted to stay at the Executive Inn & he said it was just like coming home. Nobody bothered him or asked for his autograph, etc. This freaked me out as my young son was a big Bonanza fan and an autograph from Little Joe Cartwright would be extremely exciting! We sat and talked for about an hour before he had to leave to visit his daughter. Now, I'm a very early riser and the next morning I was the first one in the restaurant, reading the morning paper and having my wake up coffee. In walked Mike Landon, and he walked right over to my table and asked if he could join me. I said, Michael, do you know why I stay here every time I'm in Tucson? It's because in the morning I can relax with my newspaper, drink my first cup of coffee and no one bothers me! He jumped up and said he was very sorry but I stopped him with "I was just kidding, I would be honored to have breakfast with you under one condition, please autograph this place mat, it's for my son who is a big fan of yours!" He laughed, autographed the place mat, had breakfast with me and the rest is history. A great guy!

 

[angus99]

My first high school job in the mid-60s was usher at Atlanta Stadium. The summer before the Braves’ first regular season at the stadium, I was asked to work a concert. But a friend had scored some peppermint schnapps, so I got someone to work for me—figuring I could see the band the next time they came to town—and went drinking.

And that’s how I ended up hugging a commode that night and missed seeing the Beatles.

 

[psneeld]

Celebrities? I got to work for 20 years with some of the best, brightest, bravest....will never forget or dishonor them....fortunately they have been relieved with more of the same.


They had nothing to do with fame or fortune.

 

[RT Firefly]

Greetings,
Mr. ps. Ah...You're not following the rules. The topic is supposed to be something about you that sounds FAKE. Sound pretty real to me. Just sayin'

 

[BailMeOut]

I was arrested by the British Army for setting a booby trap that blew up and killed a sniffer dog.

I really didn't want to make this my 1st post but as an ex British Army Soldier I'm curious as to what the real story is behind this claim. The why, where, when so to speak.

I'm not about to kick off on a rant btw - you just don't see "I planted a bomb" everyday not even on the military forums I frequent.

Steve

 

[MurrayM]

Another cop story.

An RCMP officer lived on my letter carrier route. One day, as I was walking up his driveway, I saw him using an electric hedge trimmer at the side of his house and that he hadn't seen me approaching.

I looked at the electrical cord snaking to the outlet below the mailbox. I looked at him. I looked at the outlet again, then unplugged the trimmer.

He looked at the trimmer and gave it a couple shakes, so I plugged it in again. After he settled into his groove, I unplugged it again. This went on for some time until I couldn't stop from laughing out loud.

It took a couple years after that, but I'll never forget the look he had on his face when I drove up to a roadblock he was manning.

 

[MurrayM]

I really didn't want to make this my 1st post but as an ex British Army Soldier I'm curious as to what the real story is behind this claim. The why, where, when so to speak.

I'm not about to kick off on a rant btw - you just don't see "I planted a bomb" everyday not even on the military forums I frequent.

Steve

Welcome aboard

 

[psneeld]

Greetings,
Mr. ps. Ah...You're not following the rules. The topic is supposed to be something about you that sounds FAKE. Sound pretty real to me. Just sayin'

I am just saying I met a lot more important people than celebrities...who would think they would have allowed me to work with them?

 

[BailMeOut]

Thank you.

 

[BailMeOut]

Welcome aboard

Thank you.

 

[jleonard]

In 2007 after being "downsized" and while working as a temp engineer, I got a job offer from GE in Plainville, Ct. I gave the temp angency and the employer a 2 week notice.
Next day GE asks if I can start in a week because they have a trip arranged with a small group to visit some plants in Puerto Rico one of which I would be supporting.
No problem, my future manger said he'd get tickets, etc.
I didn't hear anything further so that Friday I called and he said oops I forgot to do that I'll do it now. So a few minutes later I git the e mail with flight info to fly out Tuesday morning.
So I called back to confirm I received the ticket and said "well I guess I'll see you Monday morning".
Then he told me that Monday was veterans day and they all forgot about because this was the first year that salaried employees got a day off for veterans day.
So bottom line my first day of working for General Electric was to meet 3 people I never met before at the airport and fly to Puerto Rico for a week (well 4 days).
One of the guys was on the interview team, but that was a month prior so I didn't know if I would recognize him. But I did.

Later that day I had to fill out employment paperwork for GE including an immigration form in the plant in San German.

That was a bizarre trip for sure.

 

[syjos]

This will sound really fake. I retired in 1992 while in my 40's. Got bored and started several part time businesses concurrently:

Boat Handling/Check Out Skipper, Boat Buyers Consultant

Sold and installed marine equipment

Started a Mystery Shopping Service, sending people into stores and banks posing as a customer assessing customer service

A retail consulting business specializing in spying on competitors. Example is working for mattress manufacturer, retailers and the State Attorney Generals Office attempting to expose untrue advertising claims such as coil count and contents of the mattress padding. I would go into a competetitors store, pose as a customer and cut tags off mattresses and give them to the client to determine actual contents and place of manufacture. Also purchased mattresses for clients so they can take them apart to verify advertised claims. Sometimes snuck into a businesses office to get a picture of their license to determine ownership. Posed as a customer and with a hidden recorder, record them either bad mouthing my client or telling untruth about a mattress or claiming that a mattress is new when it was a customer return.

And on top of all that, I worked as a part time Mobile DJ from 1974 to 2016 performing wedding receptions, corporate parties, yach club balls etc.

Truth or Fake?

 

[BailMeOut]

DJ for Yach Club Balls....yep fake :')

 

[Art]

This will sound really fake. I retired in 1992 while in my 40's. Got bored and stated several part time businesses concurrently:

Boat Handling/Check Out Skipper, Boat Buyers Consultant

Sold and installed marine equipment

Started a Mystery Shopping Service, sending people into stores and banks posing as a customer assessing customer service

A retail consulting business specializing in spying on competitors. Example is working for mattress manufacturer, retailers and the State Attorney Generals Office attempting to expose untrue advertising claims such as coil count and contents of the mattress padding. I would go into a competetitors store, pose as a customer and cut tags off mattresses and give them to the client to determine actual contents. Also purchased mattresses for clients so they can take them apart to verify advertised claims. Sometimes snuck into a businesses office to get a picture of their license to determine ownership. Posed as a customer and with a hidden recorder, record them either bad mouthing my client or telling untruth about a mattress or claiming that a mattress is new when it was a customer return.

And on top of all that, I worked as a part time Mobile DJ from 1974 to 2016 performing wedding receptions, corporate parties, yach club balls etc.

Truth or Fake?

But... you forgot to mention... did you still put your pants on one leg at a time??? :lol:

 

[syjos]

But... you forgot to mention... did you still put your pants on one leg at a time??? :lol:

Who wears pants?

 

[AKDoug]

Excellent! Still flying?

Mostly boating now, I kind of take on one interest at a time, then rotate through them. I still have one ultralight, a two place, but haven't flown it in a while. I come from a flying family, so I am well aware that if you do it long enough, eventually it will kill you

I rode my Harley for about 150,000 miles over 8 years, most of the miles out of the state and around the US and back home. I still have one of those too, sitting in my dining room (yep, I am a bachelor).

I never get tired of being on the water though, and there has never been a time I didn't own a boat!

 

[syjos]

DJ for Yach Club Balls....yep fake :')

Yacht Club functions were the best. Free dinner, usually prime rib and free drinks.

Speeches, awards, raffles, skits and the Commodore yakking took up most of the evening so ended up actually spinning music live for a very short time, maybe an hour and a half to two hour while I was contracted and paid for four. Knew most of the members in attendance from repeat bookings so was an enjoyable social event for me while the sound equipment played background music continuously during the social/cocktail hour.

Also was a great selling opportunity for my marine related businesses.

Only downside to working yacht clubs was no tip at the end like with other engagements.

 

[Art]

Who wears pants?

Wooooops!!

 

[Sailor of Fortune]

My mom called the first Coast Guard district and reported the 327' Coast guard cutter overdue and probably lost at sea because she hadn't heard from her little boy.... We had stopped at some cool liberty ports on a cadet cruise in 1979 and a little rascal (me) had fun with shipmates and others...first time away form home as an 18 year old.... My Chief Boatswain mate sat me down and said YOU WILL CALL home at next port...And send your mom a letter and let her know everythings ok on the CGC Bibb...

 

[slowgoesit]

Celebrities? I got to work for 20 years with some of the best, brightest, bravest....will never forget or dishonor them....fortunately they have been relieved with more of the same.

They had nothing to do with fame or fortune.

Well said!

 

[ctjstr]

Something that people would think was fake? OK...crashed my top fuel harley at something over 200 mph....and lived.

toni

 

[Dougcole]

You guys have led colorful, interesting lives and are good storytellers, which is something of a lost art.



Two shark stories, both true.


The first happened year before last, in the Bahamas. I was free diving and spearing with my teenage son on a big coral head in about 30 feet of water. The sharks are bad in that area, so we have a rule that we only take one or maybe two fish off of a head then move somewhere else. When we got in the water we saw two reef sharks, one about 4 feet and the other about six. We watched them for a while and decided that they weren't aggressive, just sort of cruising around. Eventually they drifted off out of sight so we decided to do a hunt.



My son shot a hogfish pretty quickly, and as I was swimming back to the dinghy with him I saw a nice grouper on the bottom. He went on to the boat and I decided to try to get the grouper (mistake). I dove down, got a decent shot, but missed. As I was swimming back to the surface both sharks came out of nowhere and the bigger one charged me. It ran right into my mask, and knocked it partway off of my face. I pushed it away with both hands and then took an aggressive stance, pointing my spear at it. It swam off. I was uninjured.


Scared the crap out of me though.


The second happened around 2005 when I was a tarpon guide here in the northern Gulf coast of Florida. We had a really big hammerhead that hung around the area where I fished, all of the guides in the area saw it on a pretty regular basis. This shark was huge, the biggest I've seen before or since. It was in the range of 12 or 13 feet, we all guessed his weight at close to a thousand pounds. It would sometimes attack a hooked tarpon, and would cut them in half with one bite. The average sized tarpon in our area is around 120 pounds.


So, one day I was on the poling platform of my flats skiff, pushing along in about 4' of water looking for a new flat to fish. For those of you who may not know, a poling platform is mounted above the outboard motor. You stand on it when you pole the boat in shallow water, it helps you see better. Anyway, you know that got itchy feeling on the back of your neck you get when you are being watched? That hit me after about 5 minutes. I turned around and that damn shark was right behind me, about 6 feet from the transom, trailing my boat. Hammerheads have a really tall dorsal fin. Part of his back and all of his 4 foot high dorsal was out of the water.



Needless to say I got off of the platform pretty quickly. It circled around my boat three or four times, somehow making an 18' flats boat feel small, then swam off.

 

[Fletcher500]

Thats a big Hammerhead. We get some of those, especially in the Summer when the water heats up. Two years ago off the east end of Catalina we had just climbed back on to the boat from spearfishing and a very large hammerhead came cruising through. They are fish eaters, but it's still very intimidating to see them with that big dorsal fin cutting through the water.