Not quite like Hotrod's experience, but years ago my boss's boss was a really nice guy. I respected and admired him, but he was a serious type-A personality. Always working hard, working late, going, going, going. And then one day he, literally, fell dead at his desk. His secretary came in to find him face down, dead of a heart attack.
It was a wake-up call for me. I realized that working so hard that it started to affect my health (physical or mental) was a HUUUGE mistake!.
My cousin, just a couple of years older than me, was very ambitious and very good at what he did. He quickly was Controller of a large company. Then he got a great job offer and moved to Kentucky. Then the next great job offer and he moved back to NC. His income had sky rocketed. He now was President of a subsidiary of a multi-national company. Well, they were horrible people to work for. Constant stress as the parent company lost money and depended on them to make it up. 70 hours a week wasn't even the worst part. It was the rude, insulting, demeaning people he reported to at corporate. They were always pushing for more and pushing for him to fire people and make others work harder. He was miserable for himself and the employees, who he tried to shield but could only protect so much. He wasn't feeling great but who would in that situation. Then one day in the office he was in a meeting with his staff. They'd all worked all weekend. He was speaking and suddenly stopped. Couldn't for a moment. Then resumed. The person standing beside him immediately called 911. My cousin said he was fine. Fortunately the person beside him recognized a TIA.
Had it not been recognized, the doctor's say he likely would have had a major stroke within days if not hours. The treated him with medication but they also gave him a firm order not to return to the job. In fact, they determined that he had to avoid any stressful position.
Now, unlike most, this one ends good. He moved to the coast, began selling some real estate, fished a lot. He's still alive and doing well.
It's not just the quantity of work. It's the conditions people work under. People work for some awful owners who care nothing about anyone. They work in jobs that make them miserable. They're filled with stress and anger. Depression and anxiety.
All I can say is to anyone in such a situation, anyone who dreads going to work each and every day, you don't have to do it. You say you need the money, you have house payments. Well, think how much you're enjoying that house that you're never home in. It's just not worth it. Find a way to escape.
I was fortunate in the people and company I worked for. Now, not so in the lessons I'd been taught. I'd been taught that I had to be perfect. So, through no pressure from anyone else, I worked 52 weeks a year, 60 hours a week, no vacation. I was single, had no life. I was in good physical shape because when I traveled I spent hours in the hotel workout rooms.
It was the weekend of my 30th birthday, I met someone who taught me new things and made me realize I must change, and, even more, I wanted to change. My priority was no longer work, it was life with her. I also had no professional wonderlust. We liked our home, our lives. We had no drive to ever make huge money and be wealthy, just happy. I worked my entire career for one company and then it's successor owner. I got offered jobs making ten times what I made and we said no to them. One job I refused, I knew the man who took it. His wife refused to move with her and the kids. He never came home, they divorced. 18 months after starting, he was fired, the fifth CEO in 7 years. He got a golden parachute. On paper he made $30 million. Not bad for 18 months. Well, except a lot was company stock and other was severance due and then a month after firing him the company declared bankruptcy. His reputation was destroyed. His child support was enormous. He drank. Lots. Then he could take no more and committed suicide. Look at all those in Enron and Arthur Andersen.
We do a lousy job of teaching young people the most important thing in life, to find happiness. Be happy. That simple. What do you want to be when you grow up? Answer: Happy.
There's a simple reason that in the US we spend more on medical care and have shorter life expectancy. The word is "stress." We are driven, driven beyond reason. We are performance oriented. Translate, do the work of two people. It once was keeping up with the Jones', but then went far beyond that.
I wasn't very smart myself. I'd been taught that brains, power, accomplishment are all that's important, that love and affection and emotions are not. I'd been taught that anything short of perfection was failure. We see it all around, that "Second Place is losing" attitude. So, I could never be perfect, never get everything done, so never feel I'd really been successful. Had I not met that special person on October 13, 2000, I can't imagine the life of misery I would have had. She saw it, a person about to have their 30th birthday, but while working out of town, in a hotel alone, and really with no personal life. Well, I didn't spend it alone and haven't been alone since. She taught me how to live.
It's amazing to us still that we have the money we have as never once did we make any decisions based on potential income. We even turned down opportunities with the parent company because we didn't want to move to Nebraska.
Then when we saw we could retire, we did. We've been incredibly lucky. However, the financial luck isn't what is important. We were happy before and still would be. When my cousin had his stroke, my wife and I immediately had the same thought. Had I not changed, it could have been me.
Life is meant to be lived. Why aren't we taught that?
