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Old 05-25-2020, 07:01 PM   #1
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marriage savers

Ok now that I have my new boat I need marriage savers. I know this topic has been on here many times before so please be kind. What is the best for just two of us.
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Old 05-25-2020, 07:42 PM   #2
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You need to show you love her. Spend time with her, buy some expensive presents, and of course forgive her when she unfairly tests your patience and does things to you that are quite unforgivable. As to your wife I have no idea what you can do.
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Old 05-25-2020, 07:45 PM   #3
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The latest Eartecs with no waist band set. Make up a lanyard to go around the crew's neck so that they don't get wet whether they fall forward or back (most lanyards are like spectacle lanyards and don't help if the set falls off backward).
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Old 05-25-2020, 07:52 PM   #4
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I had the OLD Eartecs and they were terrible -- sounded like kids walkie talkies. However, those are no longer on the market and the new ones are excellent. I have SENA and they are also excellent, but I would buy Eartec if buying again just because the battery is replaceable. The SENAs are trash once the battery no longer holds a charge.
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Old 05-25-2020, 07:57 PM   #5
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No yelling and tell her that she's right even if you are.
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Old 05-25-2020, 08:18 PM   #6
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I have a thread going, two options Sena and Eartech. I am going with three new Eartechs Ultralites. https://eartec.com/product/ultralite-ul2d/
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Old 05-25-2020, 08:49 PM   #7
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I have a thread going, two options Sena and Eartech. I am going with three new Eartechs Ultralites. https://eartec.com/product/ultralite-ul2d/
Are you going with the full two ear headsets or the single ear? We went single ear as we still want to be able to hear "outside" of our conversation - dock hands, other boat engines etc.
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Old 05-25-2020, 09:00 PM   #8
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Probably single on all three.
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Old 05-26-2020, 01:59 AM   #9
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Ok now that I have my new boat I need marriage savers. I know this topic has been on here many times before so please be kind. What is the best for just two of us.
Assuming a typical couples' dynamic where the husband is super excited and the wife is a bit more sanguine, I've noticed the wife often has a few barriers to the passion - some beyond simple electronics so bear with possible thread drift

First, often the tedious work of provisioning and such fall to her. Especially if there are guests or children, this can be a lot of work and it feels like there are huge compromises due to space and equipment such as small fridge, no space for implements she's used to (vacuum), and a husband who thinks melamine is great dinnerware. It's often double duty to home, and she doesn't get enough upside to offset the work.

Second, fear of catastrophe. What happens if the husband has a heart attack or fall overboard? I can tell you that the worst person on the planet to teach her simple docking skills is the husband. I don't care if you are an ex admiral and instructor of thousands of pilots, the spouse is the worst instructor. There's a small outfit out of St Pete FL called Sea Sense Boating that specializes in all-women teaching charters. I've also heard good feedback on spending a week at Chapman's School.

Third, Men are usually more physically capable so it often makes sense to have the woman at the helm and the man at the bow doing the anchor or running lines for docking. We have tried radio sets but have settled on simple hand gestures. Of course our boat is small (Willard 36) so comms is less of a factor.

Finally, navigation. Women tend to be excellent navigators. Even if I set the route, Cheryll is insistent on understanding it and checking for obstructions. Our cruising includes overnight runs which of course involve watch standing. Although I tinker with all sorts of nav software on PCs and handheld devices, our system of record will always be an MFD that we both have competency.

I realize much of the above seems sexist, and it does play on some stereotypes. But has been my experience and observation of how it seems to work much of the time between a husband with boat-itis and his wife. Not always, but often.
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Old 05-26-2020, 05:54 AM   #10
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A dink she can row or sail as many brides are not comfortable with outboards and feel TRAPPED on board if they cant go somewhere as they wish.
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Old 05-26-2020, 05:56 AM   #11
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Don't ever mention the old adage that the Capt is always right!
I preach and practice that if anything goes wrong it's the Capts fault.
If instructions weren't followed... they weren't clear enough or insufficient training or didnt check to confirm understanding...
Have a plan A and a back- up plan B if neither works Plan C is always OK to pull out / away, regroup, replant if necessary and then try again.

Use any oops situations as learning opportunities but do it after the emotions or excitement clears.

I have found the absolute best learning opportunities are watching others. Each of you grab your favorite refreshment and a chair and watch others come in and dock, lock through, etc and critique what they did well and not so well and highlight what could work well for you (both) and your boat.
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Old 05-26-2020, 06:24 AM   #12
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Ok now that I have my new boat I need marriage savers. I know this topic has been on here many times before so please be kind. What is the best for just two of us.

Do a search for the several threads about SENA and Eartech units; pros and cons of each discussed almost ad infinitum. And for some, it's a religious debate... so you might have to look past some of that...

General consensus -- for those that like them -- is that it's helpful to have such a thing. Some others argue they're unnecessary, hand signals will always suffice, yelling is OK, they're an unneeded expense, etc. FWIW, we fall into the first camp, mostly because in our configuration of boat we couldn't even hear yelling were it to happen. And because dock hands are sometimes recalcitrant, which in turn sometimes modifies our plan in midstream.

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Old 05-26-2020, 11:58 AM   #13
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Hand signals might work if the captain can see the person handling the lines. They will not work if the captain can't. Same thing about hearing. Get eartechs.
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Old 05-26-2020, 12:03 PM   #14
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Patience
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Old 05-26-2020, 12:06 PM   #15
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I've made it very clear that if she's doing something (handling a line, etc.) and I bark a "do it now" or "don't do that" kind of thing, it's almost certainly an instruction related to her immediate safety. That made her much more comfortable with the idea that I wasn't going to tell her she's doing something differently than I would while she's in the middle of doing it, I'd let her do it and I'd work with what I get unless it's a safety concern.

For the communication thing, while docking we have the process down well enough at our home slip that I can basically tell what lines I have based on where she's standing (order is always the same) and we know that the stern line is handled by either of us depending on the day and who can get to it first. Smooth as butter once we figured out the process. Elsewhere, we lay out the plan as we approach and set lines. For anchoring, I'm on the bow, she's at the helm. I typically open the center windshield so we can talk as needed (just a loud-ish voice does the trick, no shouting required).
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Old 05-26-2020, 12:07 PM   #16
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Yes - and communication. And Plan A and Plan B and Plan C. And more communication. And more communication.
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Old 05-26-2020, 01:28 PM   #17
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Ok now that I have my new boat I need marriage savers. I know this topic has been on here many times before so please be kind. What is the best for just two of us.
If you know it has been discussed here many times, why ask again? Why not just review those previous (and even ongoing) discussions?

I don't mean this negatively - I'm truly curious.
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Old 05-26-2020, 06:27 PM   #18
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If you know it has been discussed here many times, why ask again? Why not just review those previous (and even ongoing) discussions?

I don't mean this negatively - I'm truly curious.
As a guy who is fair recent and active with some questions, I can say the search function is not great for targeted thread content. Having tried it a couple times, has raised my tolerance threshold for near repeat questions.
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Old 05-26-2020, 07:24 PM   #19
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Eartech Ultralites with double ear cups don't fall of the head as easily as the single cup. The second ear cup adds a little more holding.

Someone mentioned the desire to be able to hear outside of the headsets.

The Eartecs microphones picks up outside sound and you will be able to hear via the earcup. Unless the microphone is turned off.

I would not buy the Senas. They are light and work well but the head band connection is poorly designed and will eventually break from expanding to fit over head. Sena doesn't have parts for sale so the broken headband is unrepairable. Additionally, the battery is not easily replaceable.

My Amazon review of the Sena headband issue:

These headsets are not designed or manufactured well. The U shaped headband that goes over your head has a metal reinforcement in it. The connection of the U shaped headband to the earpieces is flimsy unreinforced plastic. The plastic connection is C shaped to allow wires to pass through it from one earpiece to the other. Placing the headset on your head require the earpieces spread apart to clear the ears. The strong resistance of the U shaped headband with the steel reinforcement causes the plastic connection to bend and twist, eventually breaking the plastic.

I contacted Sena to order a replacement for the broken plastic connection and found that a replacement part was not available.
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Old 05-26-2020, 07:43 PM   #20
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I just ordered the Eartec ultra lite single ear. I think for us it will work well. As far as searching for previous discussions. I am not good with navigating social media forums blogs and the like. I am new to this whole thing so please cut me some slack.
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