Anyone choose the boat over the woman?

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OldDan1943 said:
I'm not piggy. I just want one companion who is beautiful, sweet, gentle orphan and widow with no kids, who likes to cook and clean and a bigger boat than mine, who will love an ugly old man who is not worth the powder to blow me to hell.

I dont think I am asking too much, you agree?
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You may as well stop hoping, my wife is not going anywhere
 
So have things moved?
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They have. I made it clear that I was going to get a boat and she could join me or not. She decided she could go out on it sometimes but would not live on it or spend the night on it. That's an improvement over last week when she said she would never step foot on it and I appreciate the change of heart but we're still pretty far apart.

I think the best compromise I can get behind is keep a home and spend about half of our time there and the other half on the boat. Basically making the boat a vacation home that we use often, not just for weekend excursions but weeks to months at a time. The problem is, even if she suddenly changes her mind today and decides this sounds like fun (not likely), her behavior throughout this process has been eye opening. So there's a great deal of concern about the relationship now that wasn't there before and has nothing to do with a boat.
 
boatlife said:
... So there's a great deal of concern about the relationship now that wasn't there before and has nothing to do with a boat.
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I`m guessing foremost is a trust issue. Hope there is a way back, if you are both looking for one.
 
boatlife said:
......I think the best compromise I can get behind is keep a home and spend about half of our time there and the other half on the boat...
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Believe it or not, but in actual fact, that is the best compromise most of us boat-lovers have to arrive at when hitched to a spouse who is not as enthusiastic. In fact, you'd be lucky if you end up 50/50 in terms of time aboard, but even 75/25 is pretty good. Not many of us are blessed with wives like our 'Wifey B'. Just sayin'... :)
 
Gris said:
...We one get one shot at this go around on Earth, so I've always wanted to make the best of it. I've been a motorcycle enthusiast since I was a kid....
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For many years we had a neighbor who was taking care of his wife who had dementia. He and she were living in he...ll. I would not see him for a few weeks, or even months, and when we did meet up again, he would always look much worse. :eek: You could see him aging, and to be honest, having the life sucked out of him and dying a slow death. We have another friend who has been going through this for decades, with first the mother and now the father. It is horrible....

Eventually, after too many years, his wife died and he was free to live again. He started to date, and at his age, the demographics were in his favor. :rofl: He sprang back to life and erased many of the bad years he had endured. It was like watching a plant that had not had water in weeks, suddenly get some rain, he just sprang back to life. :thumb: At one point, he was seeing three woman. :dance:

He found a new wife who shared his interests and life experiences. His new wife had cared for her ill husband for many, many years just like my neighbor. They had a bond of understanding of what they had both lived through. They also had shared interests.

The big interest was motorcycles. He rode a bike before his first marriage, but his first wife did not like him riding the bike, so he sold it. The woman he met, and eventually married, like to ride bikes but HER first husband did not like HER riding a bike, so she sold it. :)

When two decided to get married, they went out and took the Motorcycle Safety Foundation class together! :thumb: They bought matching bright colored riding leathers AND matching motorcycles! :thumb::rofl: We would always get a big smile when we would see them zipping along on their matching bikes and matching leathers. :D

Life is short but a life, where one can do things, can be much shorter.... :rolleyes:

My neighbor had surgery. It almost killed him. Unfortunately, the very long story, summarized to the Readers Digest version, is that he was in and out of the the hospital and rehab for years! I do mean years. He had multiple surgeries and he almost died a few times. His second wife, bless her, ended up having to take care of her second husband like she did her first. :eek: She was one strong person. She got tired of visiting her husband in the hospital and rehab, and given she had nursed her first husband for years, she bought a hospital bed and brought her husband home to take care of him. She had moved into his house but had kept her house. Eventually, she moved them back to her house, and they sold his house, at which point we lost touch with them. Many years have passed and I would think so has he and likely she.

Living can be a much shorter time span than just existence....

Later,
Dan
 
I don't have the time to read this entire string and maybe you won't have time to read this post. I do get the gist of this though. I made my choice simple. The first date with my wife of 35 years was arranged by an employee; a "blind date." I said OK to the first date "if, I could pick her up by boat." She said yes and the rest if history. And now that the kids are grown we have been living aboard for 10 years.
 
boatlife said:
They have. I made it clear that I was going to get a boat and she could join me or not. She decided she could go out on it sometimes but would not live on it or spend the night on it. That's an improvement over last week when she said she would never step foot on it and I appreciate the change of heart but we're still pretty far apart.
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Apologies, but I don't remember if this was discussed before, but did you ever find out why she didn't want to be on a boat? Was there some trauma sometime earlier in her life? If so, maybe something that y'all could work through?

Jim
 
Continue with your plans to get the boat.

You never know, after a few days on it, she may realize that it is cool as sh!t.

And you may realize that life on a boat is not as cool as the videos suggest it is.

It sounds like you have not lived on a boat yet. There is a suckiness to it, regardless of the size and expense of the boat!!
 
Mother and then sister changed their minds about boat after they got married and not in a good way
 
Soo-Valley said:
You may as well stop hoping, my wife is not going anywhere
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Olddan, regarding SV's comment above . . . You DID mention that you wanted a WIDOW, correct? You may be able to arrange something . . . .just sayin'!:whistling:
 
boatlife said:
They have. I made it clear that I was going to get a boat and she could join me or not. She decided she could go out on it sometimes but would not live on it or spend the night on it. That's an improvement over last week when she said she would never step foot on it and I appreciate the change of heart but we're still pretty far apart.

I think the best compromise I can get behind is keep a home and spend about half of our time there and the other half on the boat. Basically making the boat a vacation home that we use often, not just for weekend excursions but weeks to months at a time. The problem is, even if she suddenly changes her mind today and decides this sounds like fun (not likely), her behavior throughout this process has been eye opening. So there's a great deal of concern about the relationship now that wasn't there before and has nothing to do with a boat.
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I hope I'm wrong, but it almost feels like this is just prolonging the agony. Keep us updated. Good luck.. hope she finds she loves it after all.
 
Well... mine had the impulse to buy the boat, then the impulse to get rid of me. I did get to choose the boat and it was definitely the better of the two choices.
 
slowgoesit said:
Olddan, regarding SV's comment above . . . You DID mention that you wanted a WIDOW, correct? You may be able to arrange something . . . .just sayin'!:whistling:
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Nope, not me. I am still too pretty to go to prison.
 
We were bikers for 30 years. Followed a dream and aquired a cuddly cabin 8 years ago. Wife yelled initially, but soon came to cherish the adventure and totally replaced the 2 wheeler. Now in a 38 ft. Trawler. Agree with others, important to share dreams in the long term.
 
Gee, I am kinda in the same boat. Be interesting to hear how others deal with less than enthusiastic ladies.
 
Don L said:
I wonder, do you really have a good relationship if you are pondering this thread topic?
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Not sure that matters.... with respect to that a couple can have a great relationship except for one topic....one that leads to a significant part of one's lifelong dream.
 
It is 100% a womans perogative to change her mind or opinion. You can not fault her for that.

However..ditch her.

pete
 
All my friends said after my 2nd wife and second liveaboard.... "this time...keep the boat, it's cheaper in the long run".
 
My wife loves the boat. She will even pump the boat out.

Point is, if I can find a wife like that. I am sure you can find a woman that will do the same OR close to it. As others have said, you were up front with her.

Happy hunting!
 
I would speculate that if your dreams and your partners dreams are not in alignment to some extent then there are other problems in your relationship, and the boat is just the one you are focusing on.

That said... one of my biggest regrets in life is not leaving a failing relationship earlier, and loosing both for me and her those potential years of happiness.

Guys, it's not worth it. Half your assets and happy is better than all your assets and unhappiness.

How did Kevin end up living on his boat??? I walked away from a plush life but a bad relationship. I took only what I need to live out my days comfortably. Didn't fight over the little things, set up my ex so that she is financially comfortable, and remained semi friends.

Years later I am truly happy, something I never thought I would achieve.
 
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If you keep the boat, one can always get another partner. The reverse doesn't work. Likewise, You won't resent the boat for loosing the girlfriend. This too doesn't work the other way around.
 
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