Aging

[BruceK]

..Do what you can while you can. Figure out ways to continue to enjoy life. But be realistic and face your limitations honestly and with optimism that you will continue to find some form of joy as long as you can remain vertical.

Simple commonsense but worth saying.
A cause of injury oft cited in personal injury work claims is "working in a confined space". Contorted in a less than ideal position exerting force, the risk of injury rises. Good planning can help. Know your limitations and provocative activity. Eg, carrying an old back injury,I can get leg cramp.
There may be another person who can help take the load as we become less able. After that, it makes sense to pay someone to do the job. Sometimes, there`s no one to help and it has to be done, know the risks and proceed with caution.

 

[Stephen P. Jackson]

Getting old is for the others

Yes, we are getting older, hopefully a bit wiser, and not able to bend as easily. But I for one am not ready to stop yet. At 77 I am looking for my next boat. Last boat was a Prairie 29, perfect for my wife and myself, but doing engine work was getting too hard. I can't bend to do all that was needed.
My wife and I still want to cruise at least more of the loop, not only the easy parts, but even the part many people don't like. With over 250,000 miles of cruising and delivers for boats in my youth, and a career as a licensed deck office on ships all over the world, I still have the itch to spend more time on the water.

We are currently looking for a trailer boat, because if we get too tired to continue, we can trailer the boat home. It also gives us more chance to do the areas that we want to see, including some big lakes and areas in the southeast US. Also figure the maintenance will be a bit easier, always easier to do it at home then off somewhere else. As far as comfort, I want a comfortable bunk for each of us, a usable head for my wife. Since I do most of the cooking, a camp stove is fine. We don't need or want fancy, but when we runout of steam, be able to get the boat on a trailer and head for our comfortable house.

So we are looking for something between 22-25 feet. The hunt is on, but with so many boats it our size and price range, trying to decide which way to go. I think we are getting closer and are looking forward to getting underway again, SOON.

 

[Seevee]

Fart dust and wake up with something aching but I’m vertical. Spent much of my professional life dealing with folks with cognitive deficits or progressive dementia being a neurologist. Several forms include denial of illness. Particularly frontal temporal dementia. They are the most problematic to deal with. Hence independent observation of cognition is wise. Same for some victims of AD, diffuse Lewy body and vascular dementias.

However, some trees bend in the wind and some don’t. Be the bending type. We moved from blue water voyaging on sail to coastal power. Yes I dearly miss the sailboat full time cruising lifestyle. But it is what it is. So take pleasure with the trawler. I’ll transfer to a center console when the time comes. Have several stories of how one can persevere gracefully or not.

Became friendly with a couple on a sister ship Outbound. They were in their 80s and still actively cruising the eastern Caribbean. They took on a gentleman in his late 40s to sail the boat. They took on additional crew for passage for several years. Then transferred to using delivery crew with them flying.

Another couple also in their 80s were in denial. The man had evident untreated PD with superimposed lewy body dementia. They shared a finger with us while we were refitting in Rodney Bay. Their boat never left the dock.With sensitivity gradually engaged the lady explaining my concerns and observations. One evening she came by our boat alone just before we were going to leave. After a long conversation she accepted my opinion of what was likely going on. Some months later got an email from a daughter thanking me for my intervention. Apparently he was in denial. There was much difficulties in getting him off the boat and much emotional trauma to family members. Ultimately he did get appropriate care but at the cost of much pain to others.

I had the pleasure of spending time with Webb Chile while in Hilton Head. Again I would estimate he is in he’s 80s. This is a gentleman who sailed across the Pacific in a 19’ open boat. He has sailed RTW multiple times alone in a ultralight 24’ sloop. When I met him he still had that little boat and was still taking her out for short over night sails. But he was realistic. No more blue water. Pick his spots for benign weather windows for his little sails. Still would only singlehand but only realistically to be safe. Had all his marbles.

Was invited to do a one/two. Went for a day sail with the owner. Was in his late fifties or early 60s. Florid nose and spiders on his face. Pleasant day so all rags up but it was apparent he had a wet brain from excessive alcohol intake for years. Declined the invite. Told by mutual acquaintance he didn’t do the race but needed assistance during a different voyage.

Was in the southern bays (upper Woburn) of Grenada. Was there to put the boat on the hard for hurricane season so we could spend time at home. In the harbor there was a a home brew ~36’ steel sloop in poor condition with a 70-80y.o. on it. Got friendly with other cruisers in the harbor as you do. Story was he had nobody. Sailed over from Europe decades ago. Had a large meningioma. Only current Rx oral steroids. People taking turns buying and dropping off food, flats of water and his decadron to him. Tragic avoidable death to come shortly. Tragic degree of suffering. Back story was initially he had the resources to return home have his benign tumor removed and live his natural life span deficient free. But he refused to give up “the dream”. Refused to face the inevitable reality of his diagnosis so was going down slow.

Have more stories but there’s a general lesson. Do what you can while you can. Figure out ways to continue to enjoy life. But be realistic and face your limitations honestly and with optimism that you will continue to find some form of joy as long as you can remain vertical.

Hippo,

Great post and encouraging. I’ve been seeing a neurologist for awhile in helping me with spinal stenosis (where the nerves are getting crowded in the foramen not the spinal canal. Says there’s not much I can do (or should do) to correct it. He assigned me a bunch of execises, which have helped. I’m added to it some muscle rebuilding to get some muscle back. I plan on getting back on the windsurfer in a month or so, and if I feel up to it, one more conservative snowboard week at Snowmass.

As for the boat, keep it a few more years until the stairs get to me (they took our 4 ribs a few years ago, so I learned not to be in a hurry).

I’m seriously looking into a newer Axopar boat (37 cabin) for my downsize boat, easier maintenance, easier handling, trailerable and light weight. But still capable of a few hundred mile trip with an occasional overnight.

Thx for the great post!

 

[Capnal]

At 81 years and counting I am still enjoying the boat; having said that, it does get more and more difficult to not "let the old man in". A significant issue in our case is that 25 years ago it was an economic requirement to be able to do most maintenance myself and I COULD move around in a cramped engine room. Fast forward and I cannot/will not try to get around even though, in general, our engine rooms have gotten larger with our boat progression.
An important variable in our case is that the lack of physical ability has fortunately been replaced by improved economic capability and so we are capable of having maintenance done as needed and indeed, preemptively. So for now, we will keep on keepin' on.
PS These days, bow and stern thrusters are much more common and so putting the boat where you want it is also much easier than in times gone by, relieving some of the strain from that excersize.

 

[Capt Dan]

I'm so depressed now

 

[RT Firefly]

Greetings,
Mr. CD. Chill mon...

 

[AlaskaProf]

I'm so depressed now

Cap'nDan,
Here's something to cheer you up:

 

[Davil1]

At 81 years and counting I am still enjoying the boat; having said that, it does get more and more difficult to not “let the old man in”. A significant issue in our case is that 25 years ago it was an economic requirement to be able to do most maintenance myself and I COULD move around in a cramped engine room. Fast forward and I cannot/will not try to get around even though, in general, our engine rooms have gotten larger with our boat progression.
An important variable in our case is that the lack of physical ability has fortunately been replaced by improved economic capability and so we are capable of having maintenance done as needed and indeed, preemptively. So for now, we will keep on keepin' on.
PS These days, bow and stern thrusters are much more common and so putting the boat where you want it is also much easier than in times gone by, relieving some of the strain from that excersize.

==================================



you are now officially one of the self reported “10” !!!!

was wondering how “we, the 10” are doing.

Had coffee today with my friend and being close to the “aging” group the discussion invariable drifted to age, memory, cognitive, and where we are and where we are heading.

I brought up a recent post by psneeld
......The problem I have seen is many never recognize the insidious creep of loss. The body is usually easier to detect and we stop when we get tired or start to hurt. The mind is another thing.

I have for years been prepping my two sons (both very smart and observant types) to keep an eagle eye on me. I have told them to start early and tell me and document my decline....and don't worry about being kind....give it to me straight. Have even thought of making a video for them to play to me to have me explaining to me why they are doing what they are doing and for others to see I have given them my "still rational" direction to give it to me straight and take the necessary action to protect me and others. I might also say that if someone feels they are being mean to me, back off as I trust their judgements and if they are, maybe I deserve it.

My bottom line is when the balance of fun and efforts tips the wrong way or I find myself doing dangerous things or others point them out...the time may be right. Now you do wind up having to trust someone or a few to be on your side and still be logical about it all, and that may be the toughest thing of all."

I am fortunate in as much as having a couple of neighbors friends who are able to be almost daily “observers” and “report” back to me and my daughter.

Point we must learn to rely on those close to us.

My initial question, where are these “10” and what are they doing?

cheers

 

[Slider70]

I will be 78 in May. Still do most of my own maintenance but the oil change on the starboard engine in my Bayliner 3870 is a bitch. If I gained 5lbs I wouldn't be able to slip under the exhaust to complete the job.

My best friend, who was five years older than me, was a pilot of his own Beaver. Two weeks before he crashed in his plane he told me he was having great difficulty multitasking. He had to finish one thing at a time before starting another. He forgot to raise his wheels on the amphibia floats and landed in the ocean with his wheels down. Instant dealt for him.

Like him, forgetting is my greatest loss and getting worse each year. So far if I finish each task before starting another it goes fairly well though I have to consciously not multitask while doing it. No small feat. Then I have to write down everything that was done to remember what was done or not done. And I have to write it down immediately after doing it or it is forgotten.

We cruise four to five months a year on the upper BC coast. I think it is some of the most beautiful cruising in the world. My fantastic wife and I both love it though I do some solo cruising too. Bottom-line is I love boating. If my life ends earlier because I boat away from instant medical help so be it. My wife can run the boat to get home safely or radio for help if she needs it.

I can still dock her better than most folks in my harbour, even the ones decades younger than me. Maybe 28 seasons of commercial fishing helps? I sold out of fishing at 68 years of age mostly driven out by body pain though I loved commercial fishing!

No one is getting out of this world alive. I don't want to rush the end but I also don't want to be dead while alive. I like to think I will sell the boat when I can no long operate it safely but no one knows when their end will happen. It could be today?

I must admit yesterday on my back under the exhaust changing my coolant in the starboard engine I though this would be an annoying way to go as they would have to pull me out by my feet to bury me. lol

 

[Kit_L]

I'm 71, and I structure part of my morning life around exercise: bodyweight strength training (I call this "playing") at the local waterfront park, which has a chin-up bar and a set of parallel bars. This is all one needs. And I do my stretching on the grass, or the back deck of the boat.

I also do a lying relaxation exercise every day, usually after the first meal of the day, lunch. A couple hundred of these recordings are available free from my site, and many were recorded in Buddhist monasteries in Asia, where I was teaching at the time. In some, you can hear the monkeys in the background!

In my view, the body needs food, drink, and movement, each equally important. Keeping the joints supple is genuine anti-ageing. We're not talking about doing the splits here. We also have a couple of hundred free instruction-only videos on YouTube to show you how to do get this degree of physical ability. We have not monetized our videos, but these days google puts ads in anyway; this started a couple of years ago. There are ways to defeat this (fadblock).

So please help yourself to the free material. One's chronological age is not, in my experience, hugely significant; one's functional age is.

 

[AlaskaProf]

I am one of the 10; will be 81 in July. Still got all my teeth, most of my hair (side effect of my BP med!) and my youthful complexion (CeraVe moisturizer). As I mentioned in the previous thread, I sold the boat a couple years ago mostly because I wanted it to be a rational decision rather than an event forced upon me.

For me much of cruising was the leisurely afternoons in a deck chair surrounded by beauty with a good book and a martini. Turns out I can do that here in the upper Rogue River Valley...I even kept the deck chairs.

Travel is not as enticing as it once was; we do range from Sacramento to Seattle, maybe BC this year and we have to see friends in Mexico a couple times a year. Paris, Hong Kong, Sydney, probably out-of-range.

Though it wasn't planned this way, and I suppose it's too late to recommend it to you other guys, I think having a young family and a rewarding second career has afforded me a better "golden age", simply by forcing me to think younger.

 

[Max1]

When we bought our boat 2-1/2 years ago, I told my wife that I wanted "10 good years on the boat" for it to be worth our money.
I was 59 when we bought her in the fall. She first splashed when I turned 60.
So far 2 amazing summers on the water.
8 more to go.
We are trending well health wise. Personally, if we are still good when I turn 70, I would like "10 more years on the boat". Only time will tell. But so far it has been a wonderful ride. 4 more weeks and I am back to the boat to work on it on the hard.
Then splash at the end of May (barring any delays- fingers crossed) for another awesome summer.

Good health and long life to all fellow trawlerites!

 

[Davil1]

When we bought our boat 2-1/2 years ago, I told my wife that I wanted "10 good years on the boat" for it to be worth our money.
I was 59 when we bought her in the fall. She first splashed when I turned 60.
So far 2 amazing summers on the water.
8 more to go.
We are trending well health wise. Personally, if we are still good when I turn 70, I would like "10 more years on the boat". Only time will tell. But so far it has been a wonderful ride. 4 more weeks and I am back to the boat to work on it on the hard.
Then splash at the end of May (barring any delays- fingers crossed) for another awesome summer.

Good health and long life to all fellow trawlerites!

============================
moving the goal post since I declared, 60 was the max to sail/cruise, then moved to 70, of course moved to 80!!!!

Now what? 90?


why not?, more likely no but have been surprised so many times.
Find more fulfilling preparing for life than death.

that age/old is only numbers, in my opinion is a bunch of crap, made up by younger people with wishful thinking.
my body screams pain on my arthritic joints, cannot bend because my back/lumbar do not like it, my hearing aids help some so do not look like an idiot when somebody talks to me.

Forgetfulness? yeah, silver lining, my physical fitness has improved!! bicycling to the boat and forgot to bring the tools, back!! to the house, alright, got an extra half a mile (not biking really, replaced my beautiful cross-country for a tricycle!
Like the old saying, Old age is not for sissies.

Yes, working in the engine is a challenge, yet challenges motivate me.

Life is what I define for me.

My only fear is to waste today planning for tomorrow that I may not see.

life is good

PS try not to post, always busy, but this is a theme of importance and like to contribute.
Back to finish baking the perfect pizza,getting there.

 

[Davil1]

perhaps will be interesting knowing what changes have you done to your boat to adapt/compensate on mobility/balance issues to increase comfort/safety.

Mine is a sailboat, divided in 3 areas,
forward deck, have no business there when under way, all controls to the cockpit, sails both on roller furler.

Yes, a roller furler can get fouled, oh well, willing to let the sail flop to death, eventually be in smaller pieces, can be replaced by a new one, not wort my risking fighting on a moving deck.

Cabin, hand holds all over, walk like a monkey from grabbing to the next, even when seating on the throne

Cockpit same.

My last fall because a helping crew was in my way.

and last year tangled my foot and landed on back on the slip. Totally unacceptable.

 

[AlaskaProf]

and last year tangled my foot and landed on back on the slip. Totally unacceptable.

Funny, that is exactly the event that was my tipping point. Docking solo in a crosswind; jumping down to the pier from the pilothouse door, I caught my heel on the bull rail and ricocheted off the boat next door. If the slip had been empty, I'd have gone straight in without a witness.

 

[Davil1]

Yes
these are strong warnings, can imagine the “higher powers” saying,
what,
you need a “2×4”on your head?

 

[AlaskaProf]

Yes
these are strong warnings, can imagine the “higher powers” saying,
what,
you need a “2×4”on your head?

 

[Barrie]

This has to be the best, most heart warming post ever! Thank you all for sharing. I read them all. I am 77 and have stage 4 cancer. Fortunately you and I are all only at stage three of life.
Barrie
The six stages of life: Toyboat, Sailboat, Motorboat, Motor Home, Nursing Home, Funeral Home.

 

[Davil1]

This has to be the best, most heart warming post ever! Thank you all for sharing. I read them all. I am 77 and have stage 4 cancer. Fortunately you and I are all only at stage three of life.
Barrie
The six stages of life: Toyboat, Sailboat, Motorboat, Motor Home, Nursing Home, Funeral Home.

===========================

thank you for your post/sharing.

one step behind you on the stages of life, when I get to stage 4 will call you for suggestions.

There are quite a few kindred spirits in this thread.

 

[jerridsc]

Wonderful posts. A-political, non judgmental, heartfelt. Aging, the great equalizer. I must get busy.

 

[delirious duo]

I’m too young to comment but sounds like you guys are still partying! Lol

https://www.helpadvisor.com/community-health/senior-std-study

 

[RT Firefly]

Greetings,
Mr. dd. Your link aside, many of the infirmities both mental and physical can strike at what you can consider "younger" ages, as well.
I think the crux of the matter is being able to recognize WHEN it's time to hang up the "riding boots" and doing so.

 

[Blissboat]

Greetings, Mr. dd. Your link aside, many of the infirmities both mental and physical can strike at what you can consider "younger" ages, as well.

Yep. We all know, or at least know of, people in their 50s or 40s who are train wrecks. Sometimes it's owing to DNA, and other times it's because of self-neglect. And then there are the so-called super-agers, still sharp and functioning into their late 80s or even beyond. An local eye surgeon friend is a self-described super-ager. He's still practicing and performing procedures at age 79 (although he paces himself), with no plans to retire.

When George Burns turned 100, a reporter asked what his doctors thought about him continuing to smoke cigars at that age. "My doctors are all dead," he answered.

 

[pete s]

What a great thread this is as I get lost sometimes in my age..68... Great because you realize you are not alone in your concerns.. I have lots of them about loss of endurance, agility, strength, flexibility... yada yada yada... as well as all the accompanying anxiety about "What did I do wrong in my life?? Why do I feel like this?? "whine, whine, whine..""
Guess what.. I am a retired MD who dealt with lots of cancer, accidents, heart disease all my life.. and my most poignant lesson from this comes from so many people asking me
" Doc.... why me ?? What did I do wrong?? Who's responsible for this??" My response?
Life is a crap-shoot... like being hit in the head by a meteorite... JUST ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT WHILE YOU GOT IT!!! (Especially if it has anything to do with a boat...)

 

[Nick14]

JUST ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT WHILE YOU GOT IT!!! (Especially if it has anything to do with a boat...)

That is such good and wise advice. Thank you.

This comment might be influenced by just having had one too many deep end of the pool beers at The Great Lost Bear (the very best dive bar in the universe, in Portland Maine)(with Angels With Filthy Souls from Bissell Brothers on draft, my new favorite beer), but your observation has much wisdom.

My two oldest friends, known both for over 50 years, since grade school, are both misers. They both led lives of constant deprivation. They preferred (and still prefer) to count their money (on a computer screen) every day instead of enjoying life. Both lived parsimonious (= cheapskate) lives.

In the past couple of years both have had serious health issues which signal their remaining time is short. As is mine. What good did their pathological stinginess do them? Denying themselves life’s pleasures for what purpose?

A boat is of course one of the most ‘impractical’ things one can do with money. So what? As the saying goes, you really can’t take it with you. Does it really give so much pleasure to see a bigger number on a computer screen instead of using it? All the money they didn’t spend in their lives, they’re just going to leave to their spoiled, self-absorbed undeserving kids.

I hope to spend one of my my last dollars on boating, on the last day I’m able to boat.

 

[Kit_L]

@Nick14: you can't eat money, any more than the cost of a meal, anyway. That often quoted saying (allegedly Elmore Leonard's) is perfect here: “I spent most of my dough on booze, broads and boats and the rest I wasted."

 

[Nick14]

@Nick14: you can't eat money, any more than the cost of a meal, anyway. That often quoted saying (allegedly Elmore Leonard's) is perfect here: “I spent most of my dough on booze, broads and boats and the rest I wasted."

More words of wisdom. Thank you.

 

[Davil1]

I hope to spend one of my my last dollars on boating, on the last day I’m able to boat.

============================

and leave an unpaid bill for may be $5.00.
just to be sure, have used all my money wisely!!

 

[ronbo404]

Love it!

 

[delirious duo]

@Nick14: you can't eat money, any more than the cost of a meal, anyway. That often quoted saying (allegedly Elmore Leonard's) is perfect here: “I spent most of my dough on booze, broads and boats and the rest I wasted."

Amen