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Paddy and Donal were on their way home after the pub closed,taking their usual shortcut through the church graveyard.
They were surprised to see a very old poorly dressed man, hammer and chisel in hand, patiently chipping away at a gravestone.
"Are you ok, what are you doing?" they asked. "They misspelt my name" he replied, "I`m fixing the error, getting it right".
 
Reminds me of the story when Mrs. O'Hara answers the door. "Why Seamus, what brings you here in the middle of a work day?"

"I'm sorry mum, but there's been an accident at the brewery. It's Pat Michael. He fell into a vat of beer and drowned."

Through tears, Mrs. O'Hara says "Oh my lord, not my dear Patrick. Tell me Seamus, did he suffer much?"

Fumbling his hat in hand, Seamus responds "No mum, I don't think he suffered. He got out three times to pee...."
 
My friend Harry asked me what I would do if I died and was reincarnated as a fully grown woman.


He pissed himself laughing when I told him I would spend the first half hour playing with my tit's and then get in the car and see if I could still park........................
 
xx
 

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Art said:
Have seen that very funny video before. However... for me the link on your post did not bring that video onto screen.
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The double entendre had me smirking. All of us with our minds in the gutter found it funny.
 
Just my luck, 250 million year old salt and it expired 4 years ago.
 

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Larry M said:
Just my luck, 250 million year old salt and it expired 4 years ago.
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That was just the good ol' Neanderthalic way to best as possible play it safe... to avoid law suits, stick-on-head bashings... and the like! Expiration dates can usually be extended at least a few years. Especially if lid was kept tight for the 250M years! :dance:
 
Larry M said:
Just my luck, 250 million year old salt and it expired 4 years ago.
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The real joke is on the people who buy "sea salt," thinking it's somehow better than "regular" salt.

Think about it. Where does salt come from? It's all ultimately from the sea.

You can buy "regular" salt which was evaporated naturally, millions of years ago, from an ancient sea. Long before there were any humans around to pollute it.

Or, you can buy "sea salt" that was evaporated artificially from modern sea water, complete with all the chemicals, pollutants and micro-plastics that are in the ocean these days.
 
CaptTom said:
The real joke is on the people who buy "sea salt," thinking it's somehow better than "regular" salt.

Think about it. Where does salt come from? It's all ultimately from the sea.

You can buy "regular" salt which was evaporated naturally, millions of years ago, from an ancient sea. Long before there were any humans around to pollute it.

Or, you can buy "sea salt" that was evaporated artificially from modern sea water, complete with all the chemicals, pollutants and micro-plastics that are in the ocean these days.
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NaCl and other salts have been observed in the outer envelopes of dying stars.
Salt most likely already existed in the Earth's crust prior to being dissolved out
by fresh water that later was able to gather on the cooling surface of our planet.

After 4.5 billion years this primordial salt may exist; now that would be some find!
 
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They mine salt in Watkins Glen, NY. That's hundreds of miles from the ocean and hundreds of feet above sea level. Might be a candidate prehistoric salt.

Ted
 
KnotYet said:
After 4.5 billion years this primordial salt may exist; now that would be some find!
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There ya go! I'm gonna sell a line of "Primordial Salt." Gonna one-up those "Paleo" people. The suckers will be lining up to buy my product.
 
Wife and I mine salt on the spice isle at grocery store.

In addition to plain ol' "salt" - Several different spice mixes with salt as ingredient... not one of them over a year old! Billion year certification not required in our galley/kitchen nor on the dining table.

Yummmmm!!!
 
What differentiates salt is how it’s crystallized and what else is in it. Kosher salt v common table as examples.

Processed salt is NaCl a bit of I and that’s it. Sea salt varies depending upon which sea. Caribbean salt Ihas different trace minerals than Dead Sea and so forth. Same with many mined salts They do taste different.

Little salt is manufactured from Na and Cl so pretty much all of it is billions of years old.
 
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Art said:
That was just the good ol' Neanderthalic way to best as possible play it safe... to avoid law suits, stick-on-head bashings... and the like! Expiration dates can usually be extended at least a few years. Especially if lid was kept tight for the 250M years! :dance:
Click to expand...


Most "Expiration Dates" have now been labeled as "Best used by" dates. That makes it all better. . . . :D
 
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John was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Lowe's and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go.


While she was waiting for the manager Charlie to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"

The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.”

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that's an expensive faucet - certainly out of my price range." She then proceeded to describe the hinge that John had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and they were $3.49, then went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."








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Reminded of the old car rally fraternity joke. Broken down rally car, driver bending into the engine bay, is asked "do you want a screwdriver" answers "May as well, I can`t fix the car".
And how the crew failed to finish an event(a "dnf") because the alternator was upside down. As was the rest of the car.
 
O C Diver said:
They mine salt in Watkins Glen, NY. That's hundreds of miles from the ocean and hundreds of feet above sea level. Might be a candidate prehistoric salt.


Detroit (el 614') salt mine. Over 700 miles from the ocean. 1100' underground. 400 million years old. Have no idea what was going on 400 million years ago to lay down so much salt. No joke.
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Good thing there is salt in upstate NY or we wouldn't have Salt Potatoes!
 
And another one, thanks to Alan Kohler/Eureka Report:
image-20230303161228-3.png
 
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