Humor

The friendliest place on the web for anyone who enjoys boating.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
See posts with no answers
RTF - A mainstay for TF! I seem to see every photo and wise remark on every post of his.

At this exact moment, miles off shore up past Oregon in route to Alaska, on The Ruby Princess [first cruise ship we've been on - Linda and I are having a blast!], I've not seen an RT wise-crack photo for a few days.

Step it up RT - I always like to laugh! :thumb:
 
RT Firefly said:
301106066_10228080047735940_3515677261960270145_n.jpg
Click to expand...
URL signature expired

RTF is on the dark web. (facebook)
 
Definitely appreciate RT posts. Often makes me laugh at myself. Best medicine to prevent hubris . A all too common malady these days.
 
slowgoesit said:
Thanks Larry, there you go, shattering one of my childhood dreams . . . .:nonono:


Sidenote: I still think Maryanne was HOT!:D
Click to expand...

If you ask the question “Ginger or Maryanne” nine guys out of ten will choose Maryanne.

Betty or Wilma?
 
And #10 will say “either”.
 
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Bill looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, and clean.
So's the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."
So, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Bill asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Bill asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, "Lady leave me alone, I'm married!"
 
Have you ever wondered why you do something the way you do it? And you don't even know why?

Well, when I was a kid…

I used to watch my mom prepare roast beef for dinner.

She always started by cutting off the ends of the beef. She'd then place the meat in a large roasting pan. Season it. And pop it in the oven.

I never thought anything of it. She just always did it that way.

But then one day, years later…

When my family got together for a holiday dinner, I found myself once again watching Mom preparing the roast.

But this time…

My curiosity got the best of me. So I asked her WHY she cut off the ends of the beef.

And she said... "because my mom did it that way."

Which didn't satisfy my curiosity.

So I headed into the living room and asked my grandmother the exact same question.

"Hey Grandma. Why do you cut off the ends of the beef before you roast it?"

And she said…

Because Mikey… when Grandpa and I first got married, we only had a tiny little pan. So, I had to trim away the ends of the meat… just so it could fit the pan.

Sheesh! I couldn't believe it.

Mom had been throwing away good roast beef… just because she had watched her own mom do it.

And never asked... why?
 
Sorry for the mix up. Here is the intended humor::blush:




Dorothy Dawson has filed a divorce after finding out that her 84-year-old husband, Barry was not deaf, which he pretended for years to not listen to her.


According to the divorce papers,Barry hasn't said a word in ten years of marriage!


To communicate with her husband, Mrs. Dawson learned sign language and the wife says for two whole years she learned sign language.


"As soon as I started succeeding, communication with him in sign language, Barry started having vision problems and signaled to me that he didn't see well.":thumb::rofl::rofl:
 
Al, reminds me of the husband who replaced his wife`s lip balm with superglue. Says she`s not spoken to him since.
 
A true story from Cowes Race Week in the 1970's.

At the start line a starboard tack yacht was badly fouled and baulked by another large yacht who was on port. Both boats continued and finished the race.

In the yacht club bar afterwards the following exchange was overheard.....

"Awfully sorry about that incident at the start Arthur. Do you think I should have withdrawn?".

Arthur replied "I think your father should have".
 
2savage said:
A true story from Cowes Race Week in the 1970's.

At the start line a starboard tack yacht was badly fouled and baulked by another large yacht who was on port. Both boats continued and finished the race.

In the yacht club bar afterwards the following exchange was overheard.....

"Awfully sorry about that incident at the start Arthur. Do you think I should have withdrawn?".

Arthur replied "I think your father should have".
Click to expand...

My name is Arthur, and, I know some politicians that joke would fit well - LOL!!
 
“Plant based potatoes”…This is why aliens fly straight past us.
 

Attachments

  • DE96A9AD-BF56-4C7C-963F-55C47A337211.jpeg
    DE96A9AD-BF56-4C7C-963F-55C47A337211.jpeg
    135.1 KB · Views: 48
No, this is why:
 

Attachments

  • you know what we need to do we need to get the **** out of here aliens jesus crucified.jpg
    you know what we need to do we need to get the **** out of here aliens jesus crucified.jpg
    77 KB · Views: 54
Motorcycle mechanic shop had famous doctor/surgeon bring his bike in for a new head on its engine. Mechanic on other side of the room recognizes the doc and calls him over.

Mechanic says... well doc: I can take every part of this bike apart and put it back together again. Not unlike what you can do to humans. So... why do you get paid so much more than me. The dock leans in and whispers... cause I can do it all while its running.
 
Art said:
Motorcycle mechanic shop had famous doctor/surgeon bring his bike in for a new head on its engine. Mechanic on other side of the room recognizes the doc and calls him over.

Mechanic says... well doc: I can take every part of this bike apart and put it back together again. Not unlike what you can do to humans. So... why do you get paid so much more than me. The dock leans in and whispers... cause I can do it all while its running.
Click to expand...


"...and through the exhaust pipe"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Pineapple Girl
Life: Quantity or Quality
2
Replies
47
Views
3K
Peter B
P

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom