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proudsailor 02-11-2017 12:17 PM

Admiral Happiness
 
Hi all! Long time sailor w/ a lovely spouse who's spent all of 4 total days on our three sailboats owned over two decades! She's agreed to consider a trawler as a possible live aboard. Trying to figure out next steps whether we sell it all and plunge into something like a Kadey Krogen whaleback 48' or a 40' half or more the cost something (Symbol? Marine Trader? GB? Smaller KK?) and do it part time. Lurking about Trawler Forum as a mechanism to figure out how to do this. We've been trolling yachtworld, have visited a couple of local trawler shows along the Chesapeake. Grateful for the collective wisdom of those spouses who grew into their trawler enjoyment (and from those captains who were successful at reeling them in:thumb:)

Likewise- any boat thoughts? We're not speed demons- I'm a sailor for pete's sake- 7kts is fast to me! Efficiency, roominess, and reliability are key. I'd stop work now and cruise forever..... if I had permission :)

Oh and I won't ask about what anchors are best. I've read ahead...

RT Firefly 02-11-2017 12:23 PM

Greetings,
Welcome aboard. Sincerest apologies but the first thing that came to mind, given her boating history, when I read "...She's agreed to consider a trawler..." is she's saying that to shut you up. Again, sorry. I'm probably TOTALLY wrong.

psneeld 02-11-2017 12:35 PM

Have seen many couples like this...

Man with cruising dreams, woman with day tripping satisfaction.

Occasionally the other way around.

Be careful giving up what you love for fools gold.

No matter what boat you might wind up with....it may still be a different world your wife doesn't care to enter.

I heard the tale of the guy who suprised his wife with a new Fleming 55 after she commented that it looked nice.

She walked on, walked off and told him to get rid of it.

Sometimes you play the cards you are dealt with and enjoy the game...drawing to a straight flush is a dangerous bet.

MurrayM 02-11-2017 12:40 PM

Hi, welcome aboard :thumb:

Too many variables (do you scream at her while docking or anchoring?) for anybody to give substantial advice. Good luck...

SoWhat 02-11-2017 12:46 PM

Why has she only spent 4 days on your last 3 boats????
(and what makes you think she will spend more than 4 days on your next 3 boats????)

Rebel112r 02-11-2017 12:46 PM

That kind of change, looks like a risky bet. If you have enjoyed the 3 sailboats, you will probably enjoy the trawler. Life is short!

CPseudonym 02-11-2017 12:48 PM

Charter for a week the most luxurious boat you could realistically afford to purchase. Ask her two weeks after you get back home if she would like to do it more often. If the answer is anything but an immediate, full throated unqualified yes keep your sailboat.

psneeld 02-11-2017 01:11 PM

I have a good friend in a similar situation.

You are the only one that knows your wife (well, out of all of us)....what are her likes, dislikes.

If every time after sailing, she can't wait to get home, changed and out to dinner......sounds really familiar no matter how good of a spirt she is on your sailboats or friends boats.

If she doesn't have a passion for hanging out in marinas and on boats...living aboard would be a huge stretch in my mind.

If she comments how nice some homes are and they are larger than yours....forget about living aboard.

Unless she is a tiny homes reality TV watcher or constantly talks about travel and reducing her possessions and simplifying life....living aboard is the wrong path to jump into.

Another friend of mine just sold his sailboat and bought a 49 Meridian. One trip down the ICW was lovely....it was also the last one for her even though he did all the right things to make it nice.

The true liveaboard spouse is a rare breed, heck anyone who wants to live aboard full time is a rare breed. Not to say many dream but never get there.

Bruce B 02-11-2017 01:24 PM

I can only speak for my own reality here but....
If I ever referred to my wife as "The Admiral" I believe she would divorce me!
Bruce

Lou_tribal 02-11-2017 01:41 PM

Welcome aboard! Looking at the thread title, at least I can say you are in the right direction, making her happy is the warranty of your success :D

Nightsky 02-11-2017 01:48 PM

4 days total over the last 2 decades. Seems to me your wife is not much of a boat person. Before going out and buying a trawler, I would try chartering one and see how she responds to that. She may still not be a boat person.

cool beans 02-11-2017 01:59 PM

. . .you could also divorce her before you buy a boat that way she wouldn't have a way to punish you for buying it after the fact :whistling:

eyschulman 02-11-2017 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cool beans (Post 522327)
. . .you could also divorce her before you buy a boat that way she wouldn't have a way to punish you for buying it after the fact :whistling:

this makes the assumption you could afford a boat after a divorce. No I think the charter route is the logical way to go. No my wife would not be happy living on a boat. She has been a good sport and put up with our summer 6 week cruises and when younger a few years of two 3 month spells aboard but never having to give up her land base. Mutual compromise is often the glue of marriage.

High Wire 02-11-2017 02:15 PM

Welcome aboard!
Charter for a week. She will either love it or hate it. Either way you will know which way you're headed.

eyschulman 02-11-2017 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Wire (Post 522334)
Welcome aboard!
Charter for a week. She will either love it or hate it. Either way you will know which way you're headed.

I think chartering is good but add the issue of giving up a land base. Some woman can be happy on a boat but can not give up the land base and that becomes a problem for full time live aboard. So there are two distinct issues here, one tolerating or enjoying being on a boat and the other accepting the boat gipsy life.

ranger58sb 02-11-2017 04:09 PM

Charter first, then one step at a time afterwards using input from after-action discussions.

Let her pick the charter -- area, boat, friends accompanying (or not), maybe crewed (or not), etc.

-Chris

BandB 02-11-2017 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruce B (Post 522319)
I can only speak for my own reality here but....
If I ever referred to my wife as "The Admiral" I believe she would divorce me!
Bruce

Wifey B: D would. :D

Odds of it working out now are 100 to 1 against. You have a history. We learn from history. She's managed fine without boating and with you off boating. I hate typing this. I wish she felt like I do about boating. :cry:

Now if you want to prove to yourself that it won't work or find it might, the charter is the way to go. One twist. Charter for a week. Then as soon as you get home, ask if she is ready to go back to another charter the next week. You'll know by the look of shock I'm afraid.

Just relook at your words. She agreed (sounds like you dragged her kicking all the way to get that)...to "consider"...(ok she's made no commitment, just shut you up for the moment)...as a "Possible". How many qualifiers can you put in one sentence.

Old line here: She convinced against her will, remains unconvinced still. :ermm:

proudsailor 02-11-2017 08:52 PM

Hilarious! Love all the responses. :) Appreciate all the insights, keep em coming...

She's been actually pushing to consider a trawler (not the other way around) so she could join in my boating passion. She hates the down low feel of a sailboat interior. I love the snugness of our aft berth and she is immediately claustrophobic. We've seen some trawlers that she actually is excited about. I suspect that it would be more of a floating condo initially until she gets more comfortable.

We've talked about the charter option and will definitely do that. I'm the realist in her push for us to consider a trawler and have dragged my feet purposely for fear she's like some that have been described in this thread- buy one, hates it after a try or two, then done. I can singlehand my sailboats, not so sure of the same for a 40 or 50 foot trawler.

Bruce- don't tell her I called her an admiral please! But she really does control the brakes on this. Would've signed a contract and been underway already if I was sure she knew what she was getting into.

RT Firefly 02-11-2017 09:10 PM

Greetings,
Mr. p. If that is the case, I take it all back (post #2).

https://media.giphy.com/media/k1zZmK9yqENR6/source.gif

LaBomba 02-11-2017 09:16 PM

Welcome to the forum proudsailor. I can see by your latest post that you are going into this with your eyes wide open. This is one area where both of you will have to totally agree or it won't work. Even if not a liveaboard, if she likes day or short trips on a trawler because she is not in a "cave" may be a big improvement over your current conditions and you may find yourselves spending a lot more time together. One step at a time. Good luck!

markpierce 02-11-2017 09:21 PM

My Perla doesn't like sailboats because "they are too close to the water." Does fine in my trawler, but then neither of us have a desire to spend long periods aboard.

https://www.trawlerforum.com/attachme...60512a1a39.jpg

hmason 02-11-2017 09:30 PM

We had a Cal 33 sailboat and my wife loved day sailing but refused to stay on board overnight. She said she refused to be subterranean. I know, below the waterline is more accurate.

Then we bought a trawler and time aboard increased dramatically. The wife then asked to try 6-months aboard as an experiment. It's now 6-years later and we are still aboard although we did upsize the boat. In March the house goes up for sale and we are totally committed.

menzies 02-11-2017 09:54 PM

Kick her to the curb.

Time to move on.

Your next will be a curvaceous blonde or red head with 48DD bikinis. It doesn't matter what resources she brings with her.

You will be in boaters heaven until you croak from a massive heart attack brought on by multiple orgasms every night.

But you will die very very happy.

Then the bimbo gets half the money that your missus and her kids would have received.

* * * * * *
OK, now we have the dummy set-up, when you are ready to show your wife this post let me know and I will delete this part!

Peter B 02-11-2017 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RT Firefly (Post 522485)
Greetings,
Mr. p. If that is the case, I take it all back (post #2).

https://media.giphy.com/media/k1zZmK9yqENR6/source.gif

Another 'Outlander' tragic, perchance..? I admit to being guilty as charged.

Mako 02-12-2017 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by proudsailor (Post 522475)
I can singlehand my sailboats, not so sure of the same for a 40 or 50 foot trawler.

I think you've got that backwards. A power boat is way easier to manage than a sailboat. Sitting in your 'jammies and socks, with the heater going and the wipers wiping, a cup of coffee in your hand, the autopilot ticking, the engine purring....

Twin engines on a 60-70 footer can be managed solo even when docking. A single with a bowthruster, perhaps even easier.

Don't doubt yourself. As an experienced sailor you will have no issues with a 40-50 powerboat although you'll want to gain confidence with some handling lessons at first. Enjoy!

menzies 02-12-2017 07:42 AM

Here, practice your twin engine maneuvering!

Play Atari Battlezone - IGN

menzies 02-12-2017 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markpierce (Post 522495)
My Perla doesn't like sailboats because "they are too close to the water." Does fine in my trawler, but then neither of us have a desire to spend long periods aboard.

https://www.trawlerforum.com/attachme...60512a1a39.jpg

What is the significance of the dinosaurs?

Bacchus 02-12-2017 09:34 AM

Proudsailor...

Welcome to the dark side!

My $0.02 is similar but slightly astray from the TF crowd that already responded.

I agree - chartering will help you both decide a lot - however - extrapolating a one week experience to FULL TIME and selling the home base is IMHO a bigger leap than from sail to power.

For background - that comes from a couple that easily travels in motorhome & trawler for 1-3 mos but would not consider it w/o a home base to come back to. We've often said that might be a condo near / on the water if we found the right location / opportunity.
My brother's a blow-boater and she's learned that a sailboat is not for her - if I were to go that route I'd be in your current situation.

I would suggest - find a boat that you both can experience the trawler lifestyle that could provide comfort for extended cruising (mos). but you might want to start w/ short - medium cruises to "test the waters" - extend the time if all goes well - then decide whether full time and selling home base could really work.

I understand that approach might mean a different boat in the future and I understand the risk of $ to sell & upgrade. You have to balance that risk against the $ if you go "all-in" to start and it doesn't work?

And the lesson I learned from the last boat purchase was - make the process fun and enjoyable for both. When I first broached the subject of bigger boat w/ more amenities / comfort my admiral thought I was smoking or drinking something I shouldn't. However - after a few boat shows and exploring some potential candidates w/ brokers we found one we both liked and it spoke to us - condition & price were both issues and the admiral agreed - find one of these in good condition at a reasonable price and let's go for it. The above excursions were leisurely and w/o pressure - B&B's, dinner out to talk +/- of what we saw during the day. I also had a written list of musts & wants that included our collective inputs - so the admiral had equal inputs to the wish list

Bottom line - Only you & the admiral can decide if you are the adventurous type and making a commitment to sell the home as an "experiment" is for you or you'd be better off "testing the waters" before jumping in, better suits your temperament.

Enjoy the search and decision process however it turns out.
and BTW - my admiral enjoys the title - recognizes it gives her the status she desires...more so than first mate!!! :blush:

johnrupp 02-12-2017 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bacchus (Post 522635)
Proudsailor...



Welcome to the dark side!



My $0.02 is similar but slightly astray from the TF crowd that already responded.



I agree - chartering will help you both decide a lot - however - extrapolating a one week experience to FULL TIME and selling the home base is IMHO a bigger leap than from sail to power.



For background - that comes from a couple that easily travels in motorhome & trawler for 1-3 mos but would not consider it w/o a home base to come back to. We've often said that might be a condo near / on the water if we found the right location / opportunity.

My brother's a blow-boater and she's learned that a sailboat is not for her - if I were to go that route I'd be in your current situation.



I would suggest - find a boat that you both can experience the trawler lifestyle that could provide comfort for extended cruising (mos). but you might want to start w/ short - medium cruises to "test the waters" - extend the time if all goes well - then decide whether full time and selling home base could really work.



I understand that approach might mean a different boat in the future and I understand the risk of $ to sell & upgrade. You have to balance that risk against the $ if you go "all-in" to start and it doesn't work?



And the lesson I learned from the last boat purchase was - make the process fun and enjoyable for both. When I first broached the subject of bigger boat w/ more amenities / comfort my admiral thought I was smoking or drinking something I shouldn't. However - after a few boat shows and exploring some potential candidates w/ brokers we found one we both liked and it spoke to us - condition & price were both issues and the admiral agreed - find one of these in good condition at a reasonable price and let's go for it. The above excursions were leisurely and w/o pressure - B&B's, dinner out to talk +/- of what we saw during the day. I also had a written list of musts & wants that included our collective inputs - so the admiral had equal inputs to the wish list



Bottom line - Only you & the admiral can decide if you are the adventurous type and making a commitment to sell the home as an "experiment" is for you or you'd be better off "testing the waters" before jumping in, better suits your temperament.



Enjoy the search and decision process however it turns out.

and BTW - my admiral enjoys the title - recognizes it gives her the status she desires...more so than first mate!!! :blush:



Excellent advise, I couldn't have said it better.

BandB 02-12-2017 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bacchus (Post 522635)
and BTW - my admiral enjoys the title - recognizes it gives her the status she desires...more so than first mate!!! :blush:

Wifey B: D, Bruce's wife, and I would definitely not go for first mate. Captain, if you must give us titles, just the same as our spouses. :)

ksanders 02-12-2017 12:38 PM

My opinion...

Do not even think about moving aboard full time. I'm serious, do not even consider it.

If your wife is considering a trawler, and if a trawler is something you are interested in, then go boat shopping... with her

Start with getting her into the boating lifestyle. To some that means more dock time than anchor'ing out. Figure out what she likes.

If you both ever get to a point where you want to make the jump to full time liveaboard it will be a natural progression.

Pack Mule 02-12-2017 01:11 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by BandB (Post 522654)
Wifey B: D, Bruce's wife, and I would definitely not go for first mate. Captain, if you must give us titles, just the same as our spouses. :)

Ain't no Admiral on this rig either .

bilge53 02-12-2017 01:44 PM

This may sound like a silly approach but after an adult beverage or three (loosened up) ask your wife what she likes about the idea and what she perceives today to be on the thumb down side. Start out simple with the expectations. If it is a 30 minute shower and she is reluctant to learn docking, departing and generally helping you there is a problem lurking.

bayview 02-12-2017 03:01 PM

when we graduated from sail and started looking at boats my wife avoided boats she thought were "too sailboaty".. That meant many trawlers, especially europa types.

She really liked the wide interior space of an aft cabin with wide side decks and no stairs. That's what we bought and used together for many years. Have her pick out the charter boat from a fleet with many options.

markpierce 02-12-2017 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by menzies (Post 522603)
What is the significance of the dinosaurs?

''

I also don't know the significance of the pirate ship. They weren't part of the commission.

CWO KPM 02-12-2017 04:33 PM

Our house on the dirt is 3BR/2 bath, etc. Miss Micki wants it to be bigger. Hence she only visits the boat.

gilbertpark 02-13-2017 04:41 PM

I have a wonderful Admiral. I even bought her a brass name plate the "Admiral" and it is on one of the doors (her sewing room) in the house. I will even show her this post.

We have an agreement I am the Captain and my job is to get her from the berth/anchorage to another berth/anchorage of her choice for dinner that evening in a restaurant, with little or no waves or high winds. She does the strategic stuff (which restaurant - {must buy her the new Michelin Guide}, which Roman amphitheatre to see etc) and I do the Executive stuff (weather forecast, route planning etc). If I can't meet the requirements of an easy passage then I tell her and we agree a new plan.

Mooring up we have agreed that fenders and ropes are her prerogative (including the colours). So as not to shout at each other we have walkie talkies with ear pieces and VOX. If it doesn't work we scratch the boat - so what, its easily repaired and happiness is worth more than the odd ding. At sea she takes her turn on watch during long crossings, while I have a nap.

We chose the boat together, although we did see a lot of boats on the way to this one. Since then we have thought of getting a new one but can't find one as good as our Trawler sabre line 36, like us its getting on a bit and needs a lot of TLC. If she needs a few days somewhere for repair then we've agreed thats what we'll do.

For us Admiral is not a derogatory term, nor is Captain, its a recognition of each others role when we go boating. And before you ask we go away for two to three months at a time. Last year Sardinia and Corsica this year the Balerics. Before that Brittany in a 25 foot Seaward power boat.

We have our ups and downs, just as we do on dry land, but with understanding the downs are transient and the ups are long lasting.

By the way Happy Valentines day tomorrow (she has chosen and booked the restaurant where we will be going and will pay {with my credit card})

I reckon I am a lucky to be commanded by an Admiral and if you can achieve that sort of relationship with the give and take you may find you'll be doing the same.

RT Firefly 02-13-2017 04:54 PM

Greetings,
Mr. g. You are a smart man!

https://media.giphy.com/media/NVega8CxH6NP2/giphy.gif

Andy G 02-13-2017 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RT Firefly (Post 523208)
Greetings,
Mr. g. You are a smart man!

https://media.giphy.com/media/NVega8CxH6NP2/giphy.gif

He could do with a shave though

RT Firefly 02-13-2017 05:26 PM

Greetings,
Mr. AG. You sound like MY Admiral. I strongly suspect the gif looks more like me than Mr. g so consider yourself told something that I would NEVER think of telling my Admiral when she suggests a beard trim...

https://media.giphy.com/media/Ub1mleUO4BrrO/giphy.gif

markpierce 02-13-2017 07:36 PM

My girl:

https://www.trawlerforum.com/attachme...a31b6de5b6.jpg

BandB 02-13-2017 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gilbertpark (Post 523202)
I have a wonderful Admiral. I even bought her a brass name plate the "Admiral" and it is on one of the doors (her sewing room) in the house. I will even show her this post.

We have an agreement I am the Captain and my job is to get her from the berth/anchorage to another berth/anchorage of her choice for dinner that evening in a restaurant, with little or no waves or high winds. She does the strategic stuff (which restaurant - {must buy her the new Michelin Guide}, which Roman amphitheatre to see etc) and I do the Executive stuff (weather forecast, route planning etc). If I can't meet the requirements of an easy passage then I tell her and we agree a new plan.

Mooring up we have agreed that fenders and ropes are her prerogative (including the colours). So as not to shout at each other we have walkie talkies with ear pieces and VOX. If it doesn't work we scratch the boat - so what, its easily repaired and happiness is worth more than the odd ding. At sea she takes her turn on watch during long crossings, while I have a nap.

We chose the boat together, although we did see a lot of boats on the way to this one. Since then we have thought of getting a new one but can't find one as good as our Trawler sabre line 36, like us its getting on a bit and needs a lot of TLC. If she needs a few days somewhere for repair then we've agreed thats what we'll do.

For us Admiral is not a derogatory term, nor is Captain, its a recognition of each others role when we go boating. And before you ask we go away for two to three months at a time. Last year Sardinia and Corsica this year the Balerics. Before that Brittany in a 25 foot Seaward power boat.

We have our ups and downs, just as we do on dry land, but with understanding the downs are transient and the ups are long lasting.

By the way Happy Valentines day tomorrow (she has chosen and booked the restaurant where we will be going and will pay {with my credit card})

I reckon I am a lucky to be commanded by an Admiral and if you can achieve that sort of relationship with the give and take you may find you'll be doing the same.

Wifey B: See, I'm fine with you using those terms since they really do seem to match what you do. Now there's some overlap, but sometimes an Admiral would fill in for a Captain on watch. Where my problem comes in is where it's a title given automatically and sometimes with a derogatory undertone. (yes, I've seen it given like she bosses but won't do anything). However, in my case and in Bruce's wife's case it would not be appropriate. I'm a captain. Same as hubby. Same level of license. Gone through it all together and in our roles, we're completely interchangeable. I'm equally capable. I also personally know three other female captains and one engineer. Then I know three others who've completed a captain's course but don't have the sea time. So, I salute you and the Admiral that boats with you. I just think the term is used too loosely sometimes. :)

kev_rm 02-13-2017 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by menzies (Post 522592)
Here, practice your twin engine maneuvering!

Play Atari Battlezone - IGN

This is literally my favorite video game ever.

aevdg 02-28-2017 01:45 PM

OK - I have to comment
 
First of all - I am the wife and never referred to as the Admiral.

Some comments: Explain, explain, and explain some more, WHEN she asks. Don't inundate her with details about Racor filters and cooling systems. She doesn't have a lot of experience to relate to - so if she likes to cook, make sure she has a say about the galley. She may not think about why you don't want plates and glasses that can break. Let her learn at her own pace. There are women's boating associations out there--is she interested? Don't push. What would she like to learn to do on the boat? Pilot it? Dock it? (don't start with that) Handle the lines? She will need practice and repetition and time to get her confidence up. Chartering is a good idea - and try your best to have some calm places to go. Don't take her across the Columbia bar as an example. Are there other couples that you could have on the boat where the female half knows something about boats? And most of all DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE TO HER. EVER.

Have fun and make it fun for her. Don't start out with two weeks of solid cruising - start out with an afternoon - get up to a day - then maybe a couple of days. And don't raise your voice.

dhays 02-28-2017 01:47 PM

All sounds like great advice.

Welcome.

Bacchus 02-28-2017 01:54 PM

Always remember if any of the crew doesn't perform as the capt expected...it's the capt fault.
Didn't explain it well enough...
Didn't provide training. ..
Didn't follow up after training to ensure understanding...
Didn't adequately explain plan B that was enacted when plan A didnt work. ..
No obviously no need to raise your voice when you are at fault.
Just figure out next steps to try to dobetter as a team the next time.

BandB 02-28-2017 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aevdg (Post 528411)
First of all - I am the wife and never referred to as the Admiral.

Some comments: Explain, explain, and explain some more, What would she like to learn to do on the boat? Pilot it? Dock it? (don't start with that) Handle the lines? She will need practice and repetition and time to get her confidence up. Chartering is a good idea - and try your best to have some calm places to go. Don't take her across the Columbia bar as an example. Are there other couples that you could have on the boat where the female half knows something about boats? And most of all DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE TO HER. EVER.

Have fun and make it fun for her. Don't start out with two weeks of solid cruising - start out with an afternoon - get up to a day - then maybe a couple of days. And don't raise your voice.

Wifey B: Excellent post and I'll reiterate, don't assume, ask her what she'd like to do and what she'd like to learn. Answer can be anything from no interest in boating to licensed captain and you handle the lines for her. :)

BandB 02-28-2017 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bacchus (Post 528419)
Always remember if any of the crew doesn't perform as the capt expected...it's the capt fault.
Didn't explain it well enough...
Didn't provide training. ..
Didn't follow up after training to ensure understanding...
Didn't adequately explain plan B that was enacted when plan A didnt work. ..
No obviously no need to raise your voice when you are at fault.
Just figure out next steps to try to dobetter as a team the next time.

I wish every business would post the same for their managers.

aevdg 02-28-2017 06:06 PM

I chose our new-to-us boat - its a Kadey Krogen 42. I LOVE it. He gets to have the engine room, pilot house and foredeck all his way - and I get the rest. I think that the most important thing to understand is to clearly delineate who is in charge of what. He docks the boat and I handle the lines. It is my job to have the lines all organized for docking while he concentrates on getting the boat up to the dock so I can step off with the spring line in my hand. When we are docking, I am the one checking to see how far we are away from the dock, is his approach angle correct. We don't question each other - I am in charge of my stuff and he is in charge of his. He cannot see exactly where the boat is in relation to the dock - and with the KK it is going to be even harder - he needs me to be his eyes. Talk out with her on who is going to do what. Abort it - if it isn't going. She needs to trust you - but you also need to trust her. Let her practice. Talk out the process and what to do when and if.


I know I sound serious but I have been happily boating with my husband for years - because we followed this. We see couples yelling and screaming at each other - and that is a guarantee that there won't be another trip on the water.

AusCan 02-28-2017 06:28 PM

Yelling....

The number one way to destroy an interest in boating. I've seen it both with wives and children, and I just cringe. So often the For Sale sign goes up on the boat soon after.

Besides giving instructions/requests in a calm voice, give them during a calm, stress-free time when both of you are relaxed. Go through all procedures well before there is an immediate need to apply them. Also explain the backup procedure. It removes a lot of pressure when all parties know there is a plan B if plan A fails for whatever reason.


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