How does getting older compare to expectations?

[captmikem]

I turned 70 a few months ago.

When you hear ages, 55, 63, 67 etc, one never thinks that is old. No getting around it, 70 is old.

I never thought I would live to 50 and here I am SEVENTY! The mental part is hard, coming to grips with being old yet not feeling old. I visited a friend last week, he was having a party and there were half a dozen guys sitting around the table, I would have guessed at least half of them were older than I. As I walked up, my friend said to one of them (a rather rotund guy with a cane) “well you are not the oldest one here now”. Turns out he is 64.
Mentally, I find I too often forget where I put something or sat something down. Math still works in my head but I think it happens slower. That is about all I notice.

Physically, I used to jump down from thinks, now I tend to step down or sit and easy myself down. I was up a 70’ mast a few months ago, and as it was near my birthday I was monitoring myself to see if I was slowing down or the like. Nothing seemed to have changed, however the guy cranking me up took forever.

I do not exercise regularly but my wife who is always making sure we stay healthy etc got a program on line where you do certain exercises each day. In order to establish a base line, you do a test of how many pushups you can do one minute, how many squat thrusts you can do in one minute, how many burpees you can do in one minute, (I had not a clue what a burpee is), and how long you can hold a plank position. Well….. I did 67 pushups, 47 squat thrusts, 17 Burpees, and held a Plank Position for 2 minutes…. According to the program these numbers are well over what a 30 year old should strive for. (except for the Burpees, I was only 1 over the “strive for” number.

I have been a sailor most of my life, sailing a boat involves physical labor, so one does the labor. I did notice the last time I went out with a friend that cranking a jib home seemed to be a lot more effort than It used to be, but I think that is because I had not done it in a few years.

I think a lot of people who get “old” do so by sitting around watching the tube, eating all sorts of things and just getting lazy. I don’t watch TV, or Netflix. I weighed 145 when I got out of the Marines in 1974, and I feel I am a bit overweight today at 157.

But.. I don’t feel old.

M

 

[IfItsWorthDoing]

I'm just about to retire from hospital medicine this spring at age 60 and am surprised I can still work night shifts as senior resident on call on the labour ward. The decade's worth (at least) of sleep deprivation is definitely catching up with me, as is lack of physical workouts, although healthy living (food and alcohol wise) certainly helps.

There are major life changes ahead - I have succeeded in convincing the wife to take on the role of Admiral to my Captain and we are sinking pretty much all of our life savings into a boat commission. The unholy combination of Brexit and Covid means the build will last at least twice as long as before (we reckon on 18 months), and we live in anticipation. As the boat will be fully solar electric much of the hardware has only just reached the market and there will likely be prolonged sea trials and quite a few hiccups.

The Admiral has developed serious health issues over the past 2 years which are however being addressed - but this accounts for our need for a stable boating platform (catamaran) with many added hand holds. I am planning to become much fitter in retirement by taking up regular sea swimming and operating a manual fresh water maker. We both find that our very active enquiring minds and social connectivity do keep us young in terms of attitude. The shared interest and natural generosity of members of the boating community is really what drew me to choosing a liveaboard future in the first place: Unlike with a dirt home, if your (pontoon) neighbours turn out to be bores you can always move on ... and there's a beautiful panorama or sunset around most every cape.

My family seems to have longevity genes although with some cancer and dementia thrown in. I can't agree more with the previous posters that 'Carpe Diem' must become a crucial concept once you hit your mid-fifties. I am also waiting to see if I can ditch the antihypertensives once we're underway to the Med ...

Having seen cases of Progeria and severe ill health in young people I cannot wait to escape the rat race, and am bl**dy glad I will be able to do so by next year! Aging is a natural process - count what you see in the mirror as laughter lines not wrinkles!

 

[ssobol]

... An amazing side note to this, at least in my opinion, is that both of them died with VALID licenses! ...

No offense, but holding a valid driver's license does not mean a person is safe on the road. My dad had a license until he died a 94. My mom and sister had been trying to get him to stop driving since he was about 90. He spent the last 4 months of his life in a bed, so having a valid license didn't really mean anything.

 

[Bigsfish]

Having grown up in the 1960s, undergrad finished in 1968 and then grad school I learned to never trust anyone over 30. Having played sports all my life I thought I was invincible even after blowing out a knee playing football. Then came work and for many years no vacation, no sick days, just interested in making money. Retired at 50 now to enjoy life so the day after I retired we took off on our boat for a month In the Bahamas.

Time moved on and slowly I realized I not as capable as I once was, all the old sports injuries started extracting their payment. Where I used to enjoy doing the maintenance of the boat I now realized that would be impossible. So in looking back would I change my time in organized sports knowing what now know? Nope, those were great years. No one knows what the future will bring but I’ll accept whatever is dealt me. Having friends is a great equalizer.

 

[armando]

in 6 month we reach the 80. My wife use to docks the boat with wind. I still do DIY. Less then before. We have a list of to do. I am still looking the financial in our company. Day to day without worries. we are only afraid that one day we will lack enthusiasm.
The brain is timeless but the body is not.

 

[Finale]

Geriatrisize Your Boat

This is a great topic. My wife and I have been boating together for over fifty years. From 2010 to 2016 we spent several months in our Brewer 12.8 in the Bahamas and Florida every year. In April of 2016 we sold Tribute and “retired” from boating. By August I realized my retirement from boating was premature. We bought an Ellis 28 extended hardtop and went back to cruising the coast of Maine as we had during our working years.

This summer we’ll be 79. We are doing everything we can to making Finale usable for a couple of older folks. For example, we’ve gone from keeping her in a slip instead of on a mooring. This winter we’re adding traditional davits and improving the way we can get in and out of the dinghy to the mother ship. I now have much of the labor done on her by the yard. My goal is to be able to do three two week cruises and weekends until I’m at least 85.

To keep fit I do aqua aerobics 5 days a week at our local YMCA. My wife works out in the therapy pool. I know we can’t stop aging but we’re trying to slow its affects as long as possible. So far life is good.

 

[john-o]

I'm well into my 70's, in reasonable health, and I can remember Tuesday... everything else will come to me. Many moons ago, I thought I'd be just like Walter Christopher Eckland. You know, Father Goose like Cary Grant in the movie. Ahhhhh..... my own boat, cases and cases of good liquor, and then a real nice, good-looking schoolmarm washed ashore. I'd brush off a Pelican now and then off the back of favorite easy chair that I'd use as a fishing perch, and who knows what adventures would come my way. And then I'm not in the fishing chair, I'm under my car draining oil, and that lovely schoolmarm is telling me were out of milk again. Every once and a while I'll put that movie on the TV, sit back and enjoy..... only to hear,,,, "did you get the milk?"
Yeah.... Yeah .... it's in the frig." (Oh crap ... it's on the front seat of the car.)

 

[BandB]

Wifey B: An observation based on those I've observed. Upon retirement, some get younger and some age rapidly. I'd guess this group is more of the get younger and then age slowly group. So much is activity.

One of the most vivid examples I've seen, and they're not retired, is a couple that was our neighbors in NC and we talked them into working for us in FL. They were both laid off when the only company they'd ever worked for closed. At 57 and 55 years old, that is difficult. They had 29 and 26 years with one employer. They has some savings, but a 30 year mortgage with 10 years remaining. He repeatedly found jobs that interested him to be rejected for "over qualified" and fear that once he found something else, he'd leave. Their spirit was seriously damaged. They loved gardening and he loved building things but they mostly spent their time indoors doing nothing.

Then to South Florida they came. We needed a lot of caretaking and things looked after and they were perfect. Then all our friends and extended family loved them. They claim that physically they're much better than 9 years ago. They've had a couple of small things happen, so I would just say physically they haven't noticeably declined, but emotionally they're not the same people. They're outdoors every day, walk the neighborhood loop daily, know everyone, far more known than we are. They're even grandparents, without ever having a child, but just something that happened.

We can influence, even if we can't control, our physical health. However, we can definitely manage our mental health. I think that's the challenge. Part of ours is those around us, especially the younger ones. It's still going to be challenging. What happens when we can't play basketball with the kids at the orphanage? What about when we can't play tennis with our younger friends? Each of those will leave a void and it's our job as managers of ourselves to find things to replace them. We are swimming, kayaking, and paddleboarding more. Also, walking to visit a home that is less than half a mile from us rather than taking a car or jumping in a golf cart. Then we have to accept not looking like we did 20 years ago. It's by observing some of you here and others we know who are much older than us, still active, still very happy with their lives, that we find our inspiration. For that, we thank each of you who has shared and others we've just observed. I know sometimes we're in denial over aging, but not sure that's a bad thing as long as it doesn't lead to doing something stupid. I find this thread inspiring, even if I did start it.

 

[CaptGary]

65 next month. Both my parents lived into their mid 90's and did relatively well living in their own home until they died. My wife and I still ski 2-4 days a week in the winter and spend all summer on the boat. Spring and fall we head to Cocoa Beach for a couple months and have a small boat there we fish and cruise the intracoastal on. Like another commenter said, crawling into those small spaces is a little tougher and laying on sharp corners or edges to reach into places (like the anchor locker for example) hurt for awhile longer than they used to. OK, a LOT longer. I can't remember which is my good knee and sometimes my back and shoulders hurt for no reason (maybe a sneeze, or maybe a pillow out of place). Physically, I think my wife and I are doing fine, with just a little loss in stamina. Mentally, I need to make more lists than I ever used to and like others have mentioned, names don't flow off my tongue like they used to (although that was never my strong suit). Spring Commissioning is probably the most challenging time as there is a lot of very physical work to do and inevitably I'm on a schedule. So far, I've been able to keep up with everything and handling a 40 footer is not too difficult. With a large bottle of Alleve in my sea bag, I still do Newport - Bermuda Races or return deliveries whenever I get the chance, just to tempt fate.

I have a dear friend who has 15 years on me. His philosophy is similar to maintaining a boat. "If a part wears out, just replace it and party on". This from a man with 3 knee replacements, 2 new hips, 2 shoulder surgeries a hernia mesh and any number of minor and major surgeries to fix the "engine".

Overall, I don't think I expected to last this long without getting washed overboard in the Gulf Stream or losing control cornice jumping during the winter. I think getting old has exceeded my expectations as I still have the health and the time to not only do what I want, but to enjoy it!

 

[backinblue]

No offense, but holding a valid driver's license does not mean a person is safe on the road. My dad had a license until he died a 94. My mom and sister had been trying to get him to stop driving since he was about 90. He spent the last 4 months of his life in a bed, so having a valid license didn't really mean anything.

I agree. In my experience, it's usually the children that have to have the difficult conversation and convince their parent(s) that they should no longer be driving. Sometimes if children are not involved it may be a concerned friend. I hate to say it but I think most older people drive longer than they should safely be doing so. It's a huge freedom to give up. My brother and I had to ease my mom out of driving but eventually got her to agree and sold her car. For all I know, she may still have a valid license but thankfully her driving days are over and it didn't end badly. I'm optomistic that self-driving vehicles will eventually fix this problem.

 

[Bigsfish]

Getting old is certainly more stressful than life.

 

[captmikem]

Just like to add a couple of notes to my previous post.

Six months or so ago, I found when I stood up it took me a moment to “straighten up” so to speak. Also if I was down on the deck it would take me a bit of a struggle to get up again. I thought that was part of getting old. A month or so ago my wife got this tube called a Rumble Roller, supposed to be like a deep massage when you put it under you and move around. I put it on the deck and laid down with it in the small of my back and started to roll up towards my shoulders. There were two large Cracks! And my wife said she thought I was rolling on bubble wrap. I actually sprang up with no trouble at all, and now after sitting I stand right up and move, and I can hop up off the floor with no trouble. I have used this rumble roller several times since then but no more magical fixes, but it sure helped me out the original time I used it.

I also do not take any drugs, when I visit a Dr. and they ask what meds I am on I tell them none and they seem perplexed. I have been prescribed a few for prostate and cholesterol but my wife has found alternative vitamins that appear to work just as well. I do take a lot of vitamins, C D3 K etc.

I have a few old injuries that I have to work around, but I guess I am lucky and blessed with good health.

M

 

[backinblue]

I also do not take any drugs, when I visit a Dr. and they ask what meds I am on I tell them none and they seem perplexed. I have been prescribed a few for prostate and cholesterol but my wife has found alternative vitamins that appear to work just as well. I do take a lot of vitamins, C D3 K etc.

M

I have to make a point here that I'm sure I will get push-back from some. I used to be the poster child for natural supplements and vitamins over taking meds. For years I tried everything that was "proven" to lower cholesterol, reduce blood pressure, fix prostate problems, cure arthritis pain, etc. You see the ads every day on TV and I had a cabinet full of them and maybe they did help a little, who knows. By shunning modern medicine I thought I was winning the game. However, my BP and cholesterol were still borderline high, my PSA was high, my hip pain was getting worse and so on. I've since had a hip replacement and am on daily meds that keep my BP and Chol at good levels and now only take a multivitamin and fiber pills instead of handfulls of supplemements. Note that I eat well and excercise and am not overweight. I saw an older friend die suddenly from a brain bleed due to high bp he ignored. When I finally gave in and got a prostate biopsy, it was stage 3 cancer and needed to be removed. When I decided to consider a hip replacement, the xray showed how damaged the joint was and my dr could see that one leg was shorter than the other because of it.

Sooooo, the short part of this long story is that modern medicine should not be shunned. I've come 180 in how I think of it. By thinking that natural supplements are just as good nearly cost me my life. It's modern medicine that is keeping us alive well into our 80's and beyond. If nature provided the best cures, cavemen would have lived to be 100. Don't ignore medical advice or think you know better. It might not end well.

 

[sahockey]

Physical advantages to getting old!

I’m 72 with many of the usual complaints and ailments but there is one major improvement some of you can look forward to as you age. I’ve had migraines most of my life that came with severe headaches but thankfully “only” every month or so. Those of you who had them more frequently I really sympathize with you. I no longer have migraines which my doctor told me was a positive of aging!!!! ����

Another advantage of aging for me is I can read the same book I enjoyed years ago and enjoy it as much as if I hadn’t read it. I may remember some aspects but I can not remember how it turned out. And I must be getting smarter because I can now figure out the mysteries a little faster. ��

There are always positives even when we don’t look for them.

 

[AlaskaProf]

No offense, but holding a valid driver's license does not mean a person is safe on the road. ...didn't really mean anything...

My mother, a true daughter of Los Angeles, couldn't imagine life without a car. The pride of her "golden years" was a Cadillac Seville (a cheap little Chevrolet with leather seats), which she drove long past her (or its) capabilities despite an ever mounting pile of maint. bills, striking terror in my sister, and other motorists.


Sister finally called the GM garage and told them, "the next time she brings that heap in here, tell her they no longer make parts for it and call me immediately."

 

[Larry Lilly]

Stay Positive

Life begins at fifty . . . that's when everything begins to wear out, thins out , or spreads out.

 

[AlaskaProf]

I
Another advantage of aging for me is I can read the same book I enjoyed years ago .

So true! I'm well into rereading Phillip Kerr's Bernie Gunther mysteries. Still full of surprises.


Also just re-starting Shattered Sword, Tully and Parshal's epic account of the Battle of Midway. But I remember how that one ends.

 

[thataway]

Age 85, and having to give up most of boating. We found that balance, strength and co-ordination are not as good, creating safety issues. Also back problems--most likely attributed to a long life of pulling up anchors, and handling heavy sails, prevented lifting any object over 30 lbs. Winches, and block and tackle help to some degree.

 

[captmikem]

Sooooo, the short part of this long story is that modern medicine should not be shunned. I've come 180 in how I think of it. By thinking that natural supplements are just as good nearly cost me my life. It's modern medicine that is keeping us alive well into our 80's and beyond. If nature provided the best cures, cavemen would have lived to be 100. Don't ignore medical advice or think you know better. It might not end well.

About six years ago, I was getting up 3 or 4 times a night to urinate, I went to a Dr and she prescribed a drug called “Flowmax”, which seemed to work well. My wife did some research and found a supplement called “Prostate Plus Health Complex” I started taking it instead of the Flowmax and I do not get up at all during the night, (same as with the Flowmax). I do however continue to have my prostate checked every six months.

I have always had high cholesterol, a couple of years ago a doctor proscribed a statin for my cholesterol, I read the side effects of it and did not wish to take it. So, I changed my lifestyle a bit, I only eat fried foods once a month (French fries.. I love em), and I eat heart healthy food. (I do not eat meat, but I do eat a lot of fish now). I also started taking a supplement called Choconuvo, which is supposed to lower cholesterol. My cholesterol has dropped nearly 60 points, still a little high, but I am working on it.

In 2006 I was running a cruise ship on the inside passage of Alaska, I was involved in an incident where I got knocked off a cliff and fell 60ft. Did a lot of damage but one of the things that happened was it shattered my left knee. I have a rod in my leg and a number of screws, and it was very painful. I became addicted to morphine, realized I was addicted and stopped taking it. Really hell for a week or so. They put me on Tramadol and I became addicted to that! Long story short, I studied Buddhism and the art of meditation. That is what I use to control the pain and it works well.

I am not advocating ignoring prescription medicine, I am only saying that for me, alternatives work, and work well.
M

 

[AlaskaProf]

just like Walter Christopher Eckland. You know, Father Goose like Cary Grant in the movie. Ahhhhh..... my own boat, cases and cases of good liquor, and then a real nice, good-looking schoolmarm washed ashore.

Yeah, my hero has long been Anthony Quinn who fathered two children in his 70s.

 

[grahamdouglass]

I had a similar thread

A thread I started, “Aging gracefully with a boat”, had a large response , so I think this a popular subject on here.
I think part of the problem is that when a job on the boat comes up you think of the repair needed in the context of when you last did it. But the repair you did may have been 10, 20 or 30 years ago. The job now is more physically taxing.

What I do find, is I think through my jobs more fully now Therefore when I do the job it goes more smoothly because of the forethought and Mabey the wisdom that comes with having done decades of boat related things.

 

[AlaskaProf]

A thread I started, “Aging gracefully with a boat”,

Graham, one of the many regrets I have regarding "aging out" of my boat is that I will probably never again idle at the bar of your Vancouver Rowing Club; one of my all-time favorite ports-of-call.

 

[727Gold]

Short but sweet: I am 75, retired USN officer with three sea commands, also chief engineer (CHENG). Wife of 51 years is in better shape than I am and we both love boating adventures. What I cannot do now is slither down into the engine room to do maintenance, so I have trained up a new chief engineer - my wife. Projects in the engine room need to be meticulously planned, reviewed, tools laid out and correct use explained, and I need to be available to lean into open hatches and give direction and encouragement. So far, so good. She likes the work and informing any who might listen that she is now CHENG and I am "#1 Bilge Coolie".

 

[Helmsman]

Good topic. I retired at 55 and haven't looked back. FWT made a good point about the adjustment between stage 2 and stage 3 of life as he put it. There is an adjustment period. I don't think I was fully adjusted to retirement for about three years or so. Still made decisions too quickly sometimes, even though I finally had time to think through them.

I am 65 now, and work out about two hours a day. I do P90X Plus, which I have been doing since prior to retirement and try to run 15 to 20 miles a week. I do both because I enjoy them. If I didn't I wouldn't. In the last two months, I had an emergency hernia surgery (third hernia), followed by the news that I have a blockage in my one of the arteries of the heart. They did a heart cath, said all was clear except for one artery which was 50% blocked. They did not choose to stent it and feel they can treat it with medicine and diet. So, I am learning all about ways to reverse heart disease now. Seems like a good project to me. My father and four of his brothers died by age 66 of heart disease as did both my grandfathers.

I guess the best way to put things is that I love life, love my family and my extended family, and my close friends. We get together often and enjoy every second of it. I feel blessed to have them all, and am happy with the way things are. I have found I spend more time with folks younger than me, possibly because that is who i interact with the most. And they are inspiring to me, and fun to be with.

Boating has pretty much taken the place of work for me, and I have really enjoyed learning as much as I can. This site has been very helpful in doing so.

As for the future, none of us are guaranteed another day, so try to approach each with a smile on your face, and a song in your heart. Makes every day a good one, even those days with multiple challenges.

 

[skipperguy]

81 Still thinking like a 20 year old

Can now afford some of the boats I could only dream of as a younger person. But when I face reality as to maintenance, repairs, cleaning, etc. I feel that the purchase may not be a smart one

 

[AlaskaProf]

Can now afford some of the boats I could only dream of as a younger person. But when I face reality as to maintenance, repairs, cleaning, etc. I feel that the purchase may not be a smart one

It never is. But that's not the point, is it?

 

[bowball]

Can now afford some of the boats I could only dream of as a younger person. But when I face reality as to maintenance, repairs, cleaning, etc. I feel that the purchase may not be a smart one

So hire a younger person to do the maintenance, repairs, cleaning, etc. ! Older age has its privileges!

 

[backinblue]

The brain is timeless but the body is not.

Sadly, sometimes the brain gives out long before the body does.

 

[backinblue]

About six years ago, I was getting up 3 or 4 times a night to urinate, I went to a Dr and she prescribed a drug called “Flowmax”, which seemed to work well. My wife did some research and found a supplement called “Prostate Plus Health Complex” I started taking it instead of the Flowmax and I do not get up at all during the night, (same as with the Flowmax). I do however continue to have my prostate checked every six months.

I have always had high cholesterol, a couple of years ago a doctor proscribed a statin for my cholesterol, I read the side effects of it and did not wish to take it. So, I changed my lifestyle a bit, I only eat fried foods once a month (French fries.. I love em), and I eat heart healthy food. (I do not eat meat, but I do eat a lot of fish now). I also started taking a supplement called Choconuvo, which is supposed to lower cholesterol. My cholesterol has dropped nearly 60 points, still a little high, but I am working on it.

In 2006 I was running a cruise ship on the inside passage of Alaska, I was involved in an incident where I got knocked off a cliff and fell 60ft. Did a lot of damage but one of the things that happened was it shattered my left knee. I have a rod in my leg and a number of screws, and it was very painful. I became addicted to morphine, realized I was addicted and stopped taking it. Really hell for a week or so. They put me on Tramadol and I became addicted to that! Long story short, I studied Buddhism and the art of meditation. That is what I use to control the pain and it works well.

I am not advocating ignoring prescription medicine, I am only saying that for me, alternatives work, and work well.
M

Red Yeast Rice could likely help with cholesterol, but could also have similar side effects as statin drugs. You might want to try it. YMMV

 

[BandB]

I keep reading where people are saying "I'm not taking any drugs" and then listing all the supplements. So, let's correct that. You are taking drugs, just not prescription medications but they're still medications and like all medications they have their pluses and their possible side effects and negatives. Just don't forget that they are fully drugs. Some of your prescription medications wouldn't require prescriptions in other countries. Would that then mean you weren't taking drugs?

While the supplements may be considered less dangerous, also keep in mind, they are not produced under the same oversight either. The current rage is CBD and a lot of purchasers of CBD finding out the hard way that what they're buying contains a little THC. Not enough to be dangerous but enough to fail a work drug test and field tests administered by LEO's.

Many others finding supplements that impact prescription medications they're taking. Just be sure to list everything on your medication list. That includes anything applied topically as well.