Humor
- Thread starter Keith
- Start date
The friendliest place on the web for anyone who enjoys boating.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
JayB
Member
Label everything on a clear diagram in cursive.
How about this for a yard sale score. $3.00 for an antique brass center punch. 
BruceK
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There`s a guy I know. Ordinary everyday guy but worth 10M.
Left school early, he hated it and did badly. Started buying old furniture, working nights repairing it, selling it at weekend markets.
Then his aunt died and left him 10M.
Left school early, he hated it and did badly. Started buying old furniture, working nights repairing it, selling it at weekend markets.
Then his aunt died and left him 10M.
SteveK
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An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin-engine aircraft. A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication was on a cellular phone. He yelled, "Mayday Mayday Mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket because he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday Mayday Mayday!"
The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone and said, "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic. Remain calm!"
He began his series of questions:
Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, that's good, remain calm. How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast. So how do you know you're flying upside down?"
Aircraft: "The pee from my pants is running out of my shirt collar."
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication was on a cellular phone. He yelled, "Mayday Mayday Mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket because he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday Mayday Mayday!"
The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone and said, "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic. Remain calm!"
He began his series of questions:
Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, that's good, remain calm. How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast. So how do you know you're flying upside down?"
Aircraft: "The pee from my pants is running out of my shirt collar."
BruceK
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This was in the "HUMOR" section of a financial report. Usually funny cartoons, but I`m struggling with this one. Could even be political (in which case Site Team please delete), I can`t understand it enough to see that, or indeed anything else. Comments, analysis, welcome. Deletion too if appropriate.
Delta Riverat
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Interesting. They did a map projection with Antarctica at the center and peeled the orange from there.
AlaskaProf
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And Greenland is still too big. Can this just be some sort of inverted Mercator
BruceK
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Good thoughts! If Greenland is enlarged, maybe it is political. I`m not advancing on finding humor in it. Just weird if anything.
