Scar,
You remind me of where I was 20 years ago.We had travelled to all the Trawlerfests in the 1990s and had saved and invested and were close to buying a very expensive Nordhavn 46 when we took a trip from NYC to Miami helping deliver a 44 foot trawler to gain more experience. I had always traded stocks with our savings, my wife is/was a nurse (L & D, surgical) and I owned a construction business from 85-2000. I had always avoided leverage and debt, but brokers convinced me if I was to reach my goal of one million liquid by 2000 I needed to use leverage. They told me how a margin account could make a 50% uptick in a stock double my investment. They avoided the simple fact is a 50% fall would wipe me out.
While delivering that boat we went out in the Atlantic for a few days and a couple nights when the weather was right. Long story short, when we came back into Charleston I discovered my $890k accounts were now -$180k. I refinanced some real estate that I had paid off and settled my debts after acquiring a bridge loan. Then with less than 10% of what we had a year earlier we went from a new Nordie to a used and neglected Grand Banks woodie.
Here are a couple quotes that meant a lot to me:
"I've always wanted to sail to the South Seas, but I can't afford it." What these men can't afford is not to go. They are enmeshed in the cancerous discipline of "security." And in the worship of security we fling our lives beneath the wheels of routine — and before we know it our lives are gone.
and
“To be truly challenging, a voyage, like a life, must rest on a firm foundation of financial unrest. Otherwise, you are doomed to a routine traverse, the kind known to yachtsmen who play with their boats at sea 'cruising' it is called. Voyaging belongs to seamen, and to the wanderers of the world who cannot, or will not, fit in. If you are contemplating a voyage and you have the means, abandon the venture until your fortunes change. Only then will you know what the sea is all about.”
-- Sterling Hayden
We ended up cruising for 26 months and 4800 nautical miles. Wife worked at Lower Keys Medical Center, I worked as assistant dockmaster at Sunset Marina in Key West and life was great. Do not let well intentioned neigh sayers get you down. There are ways and then there are other ways. Find your way and Discover your path to Voyaging together.