Divorcing the Wife and looking to marry a Trawler.

Capnsin said:

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

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Did same 4 years ago and never been happier.

Don't wait!

Capnsin said:

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

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My suggestion is wait till covid is under control and you’ll get a better deal. I had two trawlers a 36 foot heritage and a 31 foot Camino both great trawlers that I could handle my self even though locks. Do not buy a boat if it doesn’t come with maintenance history. It’s hard to find a boat or an RV vehicle all because of Covid. Carolyn from Maryland

Getting divorced? Never mind changing home but rather change continent. Kids are grown, they can come and visit. My recommendation is a Grand Banks 42 and above somewhere in Europe. Try France or Spain.

I have as possibility for you

I am just listing my 1983 PT-38 38' trawler for sale for $89k. It would be a great solo live-aboard. Located in Channel Islands Harbor (CA). It's been my cruising vessel for our local islands so it's well setup for anchor/cruising too.


https://photos.app.goo.gl/gQcByWCbkLqVnswx8

tiltrider1 said:

After 25 years of sitting on the dock watching newly divorced men move on to boats, this is my observations. Three years later they have a new girlfriend who is not into the boat at all. They have moved off the boat and the boat sits there for another 7 years unused sucking up cash.

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RE: "girlfriend who is not into the boat at all". That's just poor planning - make sure first.

Capnsin said:

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

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Wifey B:

Research, think all you want, but don't make a major move into something you have no experience and requiring lots of money at this time. Wait. If one year from the divorce you want to do it, then proceed. Just now is horrific timing for such a decision.

Single sailor

I’ve been from Maine to key Weird over the years and I was amazed how many old guys living on all types of boats and drinking their wives away. Every marina in Florida has them. Be sure of your plan.

Agree with finding the slip first. Make sure you like your future neighbors and neighborhood. It makes all the difference. Then buy a boat to fit. There are always plenty of boats available.

For the boat - unless you have sworn off women entirely buy a boat such that a woman would like to visit. This means no mildew or other smells, new cushions, spotless galley and a really nice head. Electric head and good size shower mandatory. Budget spending $25K post purchase with these cosmetics.

Usually trawlers are better live-aboard boats as they don't give up space for fishing or going fast.

If you look like a hermit living in a hut, you'll spend a lot of time alone.

Live aboard.

Capnsin said:

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

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Finding any slip between Ventura and San Diego is going to be a challenge. Finding a live aboard in that area, even more so.
What is your boating experience. If you don’t have big boat experience you may find getting insurance difficult. Virtually impossible if this is your first boat. If you can overcome these obstacles, a later model Grand Banks 36 would be a place to start looking. It has a forward v berth, large closet, full head and shower, main cabin with full galley and an aft cabin with either an island queen or a full bed to starboard and a twin to port with nice storage and large closet. If you will be single handling you will want the version that has a door by the helm on the stb side and another one on the aft side of the main cabin to port. I would recommend 1 engine. That’s what mine has. PM me and I’ll explain all the reasons why. Having said that, single handling a boat of this size and weight is no walk in the park. Also, you will find pretty quickly that a 36 of any make will get pretty small pretty quick if you are a full time live aboard. Also, plan to spend at least 10% annually of the purchase price of the boat to own, operate and maintain it. Many more in that area.
Since I know very little of your expectations, experience or requirements in a boat it’s hard to advise. If you have limited boating experience I would advise you to charter several and spend time on boats before making this leap. You might consider finding a suitable boat for sale in Oceanside harbor that comes with the slip and then taking a small condo or apt in the area.
Good luck!

BandB said:

Wifey B:

Research, think all you want, but don't make a major move into something you have no experience and requiring lots of money at this time. Wait. If one year from the divorce you want to do it, then proceed. Just now is horrific timing for such a decision.

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This is good advice, listen to it and learn.

I don't know...I had an amicable divorce and a war with the other.


Both times I moved aboard because I like it and to regain finances. I had a great time and regained lost wealth after both.


I had lived aboard before the first time I got married and have been eyeball deep in boats my whole life.... so flipping back and forth afloat/ashore was easy for me.


Depending on the divorce, it isn't necessarily horrific timing, it could be perfect....but unless you really have it wired...it could go either way. Great or a disaster. Which has pretty much been the advice so far so all I can do is agree with both sides of the discussion....

Greetings,
Slight thread drift: My better 3/4 said she'd never divorce me because it would take much too long to retrain a replacement PLUS she's more fanatical about boating then I am. PLUS, PLUS, I'm just too cute!

rgano said:

Bought boat in '86 in San Diego. Lived aboard in San Diego for three years. Moved boat to Florida in '90 and moved ashore. Divorced in '96 and moved aboard for two years. Liked it fine. Second wife loved boat and misses it since we sold it in 2015, but I was no longer interested in life aboard and all its difficulties and inconveniences unless cruising, which we did. Now I am have little interest in cruising or living aboard, but enjoy having a boat which can take us aboard for a few days when we wish. Life goes on.

IMHO, the Grnad Banks 42 Europa (mine was a classic) would be a perfect solo liveaboard.

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I've been looking for a Grand Banks Euro now for two years. If you find one in well maintained shape you will love it. I'm looking for a unmolested twin lots have had big HP engine's stuffed in, I want a slow steady ride.

I'm at Shoreline Marina in Long Beach. I understand it is about a 3 year wait for live aboard status. There are some really good pluses and minuses with the marina. There are slips available depending on the size. Also, there is a Symbol 55 that just came on the market again. I think he's asking around $250,000. He had it for $280,000 last year. Probably take less. My friend has been trying to find a Californian 55 like I have and when they hit the market, gone in days. Californian 48 could be really nice live aboard if you think my 55 is too big. I also thought it was too big until my wife said "I like the big one". I had to make her happy and now I'm glad I did. I do think twice about taking it out alone, not because she is hard handle, its just understanding that if things go bad, ......Well, you know what I mean.

BandB said:

Wifey B:

Research, think all you want, but don't make a major move into something you have no experience and requiring lots of money at this time. Wait. If one year from the divorce you want to do it, then proceed. Just now is horrific timing for such a decision.

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Agreed! Very good advice.

johnrupp said:

You loved with her or lived with her Peter? [emoji4]

John

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Edited ...

RonR said:

Our first larger boat was bought from someone who got divorced, took his part of the house $$ and bought a boat. Lived on it for 6 months and hated it after 1. Moved off the boat and into a condo. Left the boat sitting in the marina for 4 years unused, and neglected. He told me it was his biggest financial mistake to date. The monthly fees for the boat, the cost of the boat, and the value dropped by 1/2 due to the condition of the boat when he sold it.

Many are in love with the idea, few are in love with it after a few months.

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Without going into the feeling that this is a bit of whiplash, you haven't mentioned your experience and maintenance capabilities. SoCal is going to be difficult and $$$ for liveaboard. I put myself on several PNW waiting lists while I was looking - finding a 'grandfathered' liveaboard slip is getting harder to come by. I would prioritized finalizing the personal situation before a purchase. A lot of trawlers out there, still need to do your homework on what your plans are. I've been a liveaboard coming up on 2 years, still love it but my learning curve is still hell-steep, which I also enjoy. Good luck...

Selling Pilgrim 40 soon

We have been surprised by a downturn in our health and have to sell our Pilgrim 40 in about two months from now. She looks like the trawler in the Forum marquee although I'm pretty sure that's not us. Same boat and same color. Anyway, we are on the opposite coast - St Augustine, FL and have a slip with her. Great boat that we are sad to sell. At the top end of your budget, however.

"Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?" was the OPs question. He did get about 45 responses of martial/divorce/slip advice and maybe 3 answering the question. So OP, take a look at Great Harbors or Flordia Bay Coasters.

Greetings,
Mr. F. I think the absolute BEST advice so far is from Ms. WB. Do your research and decide at a later date. One year is a good time frame.


To paraphrase Shakespeare, Decide in haste, suffer at your leisure.

Right along with "if you snooze, you lose"......

If you are new to boating, don't underestimate maintenance, moorage and insurance costs. Look for a slip on a river, preferably under cover. It will substantially lower your maintenance costs.

Greetings,
Mr. ps. Tru dat!

psneeld said:

Right along with "if you snooze, you lose"......

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Wifey B: Which I'd normally agree with as I like to move quickly, as does hubby. However, there are times in life that one's decision making is impacted by grieving and adapting to change. Doesn't matter the reason for divorce or how much you look forward to it, you still grieve and are mentally impacted. You may not be upset over the loss of your spouse, but you lost something else you'd invested years into, the marriage, and you're stumbling into a new world like Rip Van Winkle awaking, a bit lost and overwhelmed. If by chance, the perfect boat comes along and you absolutely know it is and know it's right for you because you've researched and you chartered or spent time with others then jump on it, but don't rush into things with "I've got to do something now" kind of attitude. I haven't been through a divorce, but sure have seen and talked to a lot of others who have and have observed those who made hasty decisions and while a few worked out, most didn't. Worst hasty decisions were immediately hooking up with someone new. But what I'm about to say applies to the boat and lifestyle choice as well. They found someone totally different than their spouse and relished the change until it hit them that this person had none of what they loved initially about their spouse either. One looks for a lifestyle change, but most really aren't seeking a 180 degree turn, rather seeking a modification. It takes time to figure out what you want to keep and what you want to change when your initial impulse is fueled with anger and you want to throw it all out with the trash.

That's one point of view...not mine ....and maybe not others.


I never sensed the guy was angry....usually something slips in even the internet posts whan it's rage or lots of anger.



Some people don't grieve like others. They simplify and move on, focus on what's next.


If someone has always wanted to do something and is prepared to do something (not all the way but for the first couple moves) then why not? It might be the best time and only time in someones life.


I am not saying it "sounds good" and move along... but a sound thinking through and some research, plus a little prep and the old "what's the worst that could happen?" acid test...... why not move that way? And all that if you can speak to the right people and be honest who and where you are in life.... there is no reason to wait a year....move along as the steps allow.


May not matter if we don't hear back from the OP soon....

Capnsin said:

I am working remotely at least through 2021 and will have to see if I will be able to continue to do this. I retire in 8 years and could livaboard in Sacramento until I retire down there worst case.

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I was in a similar situation as you a few years ago. I wound up buying my "starter boat" which is a 1989 Bayliner 3870. It has a great floorplan for the footprint and is reasonably easy to handle - I run into a LOT of people that have owned them. Going to a larger boat is a great option if you know what you're doing (if you haven't done this before, trust me, you don't) but something in the 30 - 40 ft range is plenty for one person.

There are marinas in the Delta allow livaboards that you can get into. Southern CA and the Bay Area are much more difficult as so many have pointed out. But if you stay in the Delta area that hurdle can definitely be overcome - you may need to find someone that knows someone.

I didn't see an answer to how much boating experience you have so you might want to consider a less expensive boat for now and see how it goes. If it works out for you like it has for me you'll get bigger boat-itis in a few years and be ready for a much larger financial commitment.

Best of luck, feel free to PM if you'd like. ...Chris

There are a lot of lonely men living their 'dream' on an old boat in a marina, make sure its what you want. The population of women that are crazy about boating is not that large. When you have a boat, all the household chores that come with living become much harder to do. 40 feet can be comfortable for a single guy who is going towards hermit life. But if you want to have a quality couple life, 50 feet with a washer dryer, watermaker, generator and a proper galley with lots of storage will make life feel less like camping and more like living.

A quick note, I'm still married with a home on land, and a wife while juggling my two relationships. My boat and my wife.

Where are you located? East coast ?

Exsailor

Yes now boatless. First time in 70 years.

Saiboat to trawler.

I am 85 years old but in pretty good shape both mentally and physically so far. My wife and I sailed our 42 ft ketch south from the Great Lakes in 1985 and loved our 4 years of sailing in the Caribean and Gulf of Mexico waters. We anchored almost all the time as we were quite good at fishing and had a nice freezer and gen set to keep things cold, We had loran c for our navigation as the sat nav business was just coming to the market. We returned in 1990, sailed for another year or two then sold the boat.
After motor homing for a few years we decided to try a power boat. Bought a Mainship 36 ft cruiser and soon learned the hard way about expensive boating. It had two 175 hp Crusaders that moved it along at hi speed but loved to go thru fuel like gangbusters. We only kept if a couple years but was glad to get out of boating with that particular boat.
Now we are thinking of a trawler, about 40 ft, single screw, genset and bow thrusters. Age ? From the mid 1980's to early 90's.

Anyone got one like that for sale at a reasonable price.??? Something on the Easern SeaBoard ?