Hi everyone, Ducatihottie here, (Brian)

42 foot CHB Ponderosa at Fisherman's Terminal in Seattle.

While I gained a boatload of information from EVERYONE here, I abandoned the site out of embarrassment.

Why?

I bit off more than I can handle in such a short time. I'm in Respiratory Medicine, (my patients are dying left and right). Plus as you know, I'm new at boating. As all have warned me here this boating thing is a huge undertaking, (I'm spending money left and right on her).

Furthermore my wife is unemployed and she likes 'BTS" more than me and my boat. I bought this boat on two incomes and now we're down to one and I barf overboard daily.

1. Do any of you own a boat with a wife who doesn't give a hoot?? I know as a fact I can't convince her to enjoy my new love, "Kon Teaki".

And yes I tried turning her onto Ozzy's, "Under The Graveyard" instead of BTS with no success. It turns out she hates me more.

I'm thinking about having her jump off my elevated boat while docking just for her life insurance plan.

2. Good idea or bad?

And now for my stupid question below as questions 1 and 2 above are rock solid.


1. I place in a few drops of this "Escentuals hand soap" into my toilet. I then I fill it with a 24 pack of Rainer Beer pee in about 32 minutes, (not kidding it smells fruity with the soap). FRUITY PEEEEE!


Will adding a few drops of soap ruin my poopy box? It works better than, "eco smart" and that "porta pak" stuff. Can soap bubbles hurt a dark water tank.

Nice talking. If you'll still have me, I have a bunch more stupid stupid questions much better than above.

Boo hoo me, Thanks.

I think you should hold on beer lol

L

I didn't think about that, maybe my wife doesn't hate the boat?

Not kidding, I was embarrased to post as every warning you guys gave me turned out to be true.

Your head won’t stink if nothing that doesn’t comes out of you goes in and you use fresh water to flush. No chemicals, no cleaning agents, nothing. We use R/O water only in the head. Then no calcium build up either.
Idea is to have aerobes not stinky anaerobes as the main flora in the holding tank. Soap is cidal. Defeats the purpose.

HIPPPOOOOO, What's R/O?

I don't know what "cidel" means. I thought the dab of soap question was a yes or no.

My "porta pak" have that plastic covering that worries me and "eco smart" has that stupid pourer that makes a mess.

Can I use a hand soap in my tank or not? I've only pooped in it once and the majority is pee. I pee a lot, I'm a peepeer that would make Pee-wee proud


Did I mention that I got in a food fight with Eddie Van Halen once?

Hey, I'm back!

Bts????

You bought a boat. It's going to eat your wallet for some time until you get it squared away. It's a boat.

Slow down, you don't have to fix everything before you get some joy out of her. (Her being the boat....) From Fisherman's terminal take short outings just to enjoy the boat, maybe your wife will learn to like it too. Ivars nearby has a dock big enough to handle your boat, treat your wife to a nice salmon dinner. Krikland has good dockage, lots of good restaurants in Kirkland. After you've gained some boat handling confidence take her to Blake Island for an overnight. Walk the island's trails. A weekend to Bell Harbor on the Seattle waterfront.

A hint. Never, ever, yell at your wife when docking or un docking goes wrong. It will go wrong, you will scratch the gel coat. It's far easier to fix gel coat than a damaged relationship.

BTS is is a boy's band like NSYNK, Backstreet Boys, 98', N'sync, New Kids on the block and of course Jimmy Hendrix.

No kidding, I went with my wife to a reunion tour with New kids and I was the only guy there. Because of this, can I question number 2 above?

They turned all of the restrooms into women's.

BTS, also known as the Bangtan Boys, is a seven-member South Korean boy band that began formation in 2010 and debuted in 2013 under Big Hit Entertainment.

Yep, SIMI 60, SHE'S A "V" fan and our life is over, (he's a tad cuter than me). Just a tad bit as he and I just coveted the most handsom man alive award. Stay tuned to see who wins, (me or him)?

Hey Portage, can I pay you to help me practice? I have a single screw and a bowel thruster. PLEASE, even after 4 lessons I still need help, (went through both locks and I'm willing to pay).

ANYONE? I'LL PAY

So far I've learned that my boat has two steering wheels that absolutely do nothing. Bowel thruster is really cool and makes a "orrgvarooom" noise. I pretend I'm cool using it like I do with my Ducati pipes.

The wind thinks my boat has sails and I've placed 4230 bumpers on my boat out of fear. Still need help here in the PNW.

Whew, back to my pee pee post

Ducatihottie said:

I didn't think about that, maybe my wife doesn't hate the boat?

Not kidding, I was embarrased to post as every warning you guys gave me turned out to be true.

Click to expand...

Ok, well, at least you have the gumption to admit you didn't listen to all that good advice - advice albeit you didn't want to hear at the time.

However, all is not lost. You like the boat - your wife does not. Then you work out a compromise where you work, (code for having fun, working), on the boat - or take friends out, at times when she is doing 'her' thing', whatever that is.

Then occasionally, when she sees you being a nicer person to live with because you are having 'fun' (code for working on boat & maybe going out), with the boat, she will probably accept the odd occasion to take her out - best with some of her friends as well - then you can impress them all with just how much fun boating can be.

Lo and behold, before too long she'll ask for an over-nighter, and if you plan it well - no frights or mishaps with the cooking - or the toilet - she might well go more often.

Just sayin'...from a fellow medic, and one whose wife was not as keen as me re the boating thing, while I was not into the church-going thing like she was. See where I'm going here..?
PS. Take care re this covid thing. We all highly respect those on the front line. I'm now retired, and not sorry I'm not - on the front line, that is.

Ducatihottie said:

Hey Portage, can I pay you to help me practice? I have a single screw and a bowel thruster. PLEASE, even after 4 lessons I still need help, (went through both locks and I'm willing to pay).

ANYONE? I'LL PAY

Click to expand...

Hmmm, a bowel thruster...
Could be range of issues right there....or a predictive text typo.....or.....

Yes, maybe.

I've got a life time of experience, literally a life time, with single screw. Almost all of if without thrusters. I don't have much experience as an instructor. And I live on Whidbey Island so that's a 2 to 3 hr trip to Fisherman's terminal.

If you can't find someone closer we can think about it.

Google Capt Linda Lewis. I don't know her personally but she has a good reputation as an instructor.

Ducatihottie said:

Yep, SIMI 60, SHE'S A "V" fan and our life is over as he's a tad cuter than me.


Hey Portage, can I pay you to help me practice? I have a single screw and a bowel thruster. PLEASE, even after 4 lessons I still need help, (went through both locks and I'm willing to pay).

ANYONE? I'LL PAY

So far I've learned that my boat has two steering wheels that absolutely do nothing. Bowel thruster is really cool and makes a "orrgvarooom" noise. I pretend I'm cool using it like I do with my Ducati pipes.

The wind thinks my boat has sails and I've placed 4230 bumpers on my boat out of fear. Still need help here in the PNW.

Click to expand...

Portage:

Linda's freaking expensive, done that.

OK EVERYONE SCREW ME and my PEE PEE POST.


My dock "8" has a a boat sticking out about 10 feet or more and I'm petrified going in and out of my slip.

MY WIFE can't help nor would I risk her life, (Ishe feeds my Bichon, "Popcorn"). And, she's happy with the tradeoff.

Hey Peter B.

My wife is not a fan of of my favorite song from "Hues Corporation". Whooda figure?

I also thought that the boat motions would help, (I'm 58) Any advice:?

If not, has your boat helped your sex life..... OK I went there, the first on this forum... nope not there, searched.

Back to my soap pee thingamajig. Is it ok?

Hi bruce! Freaking missed you!

I'm figuring a bowel thruster would cost a bit more than it does in Downtown Seattle on a corner.

I was wondering where you had gone. Glad to see you came back.

Hi Peter, Bruce and Dave above.

Not kidding, I completely freaked out because I had a billion questions and I didn't want to bug you.


My boats a beauty. You will laugh at how little problems it's divining

Ill keep you posted when CSR pulls my boat out next week.
My ftrakum stop c9co filtresho0rtryt I'd broke..east fix

Wow.

BruceK said:

Hmmm, a bowel thruster...
Could be range of issues right there....or a predictive text typo.....or.....

Click to expand...

Pictures I will never get out of my head.

Making a brave effort with martinis and now, a lively Shiraz.

Portage_Bay said:

Yes, maybe.

I've got a life time of experience, literally a life time, with single screw. Almost all of if without thrusters. I don't have much experience as an instructor. And I live on Whidbey Island so that's a 2 to 3 hr trip to Fisherman's terminal.

If you can't find someone closer we can think about it.

Google Capt Linda Lewis. I don't know her personally but she has a good reputation as an instructor.

Click to expand...

Good shout out on Linda Lewis. It's been years since I've seen her, but she was rock solid then, and has stayed in the game. Very nice person.

Marital divides are way above my pay grade. A well respected industry professional once told me boats magnify whatever is going on in a relationship. If the relationship is good, it will bring you even closer together. Inverse unfortunately is true too. As an observer hear, if you're really as hapless as your notes portend, it can't be a lot of fun being a helpless (and captive) observer. You'll have to figure out how to make this part of her discretionary fun time. BTS notwithstanding (BTW - Simi - thanks for asking for clarification)

Good luck.

Peter

Ducatihottie said:

Portage:

Linda's freaking expensive, done that.

OK EVERYONE SCREW ME and my PEE PEE POST.


My dock "8" has a a boat sticking out about 10 feet or more and I'm petrified going in and out of my slip.

MY WIFE can't help nor would I risk her life, (Ishe feeds my Bichon, "Popcorn"). And, she's happy with the tradeoff.

Click to expand...

I hadn't seen this when I gave a second thumbs up on Linda Lewis. When I was actively teaching, I used to tell people I'm cheaper than a therapist, and a lot cheaper than a divorce attorney.

PB - I was super impressed when you said you didn't have much experience teaching. I came to boats a bit later in life and learned a lot in a compressed time. While I was not the best helmsman, I felt it helped me to be a better teacher as I could empathize more with the frustration of close quarter maneuvers. I also had an arsenal of teaching tools, including a mockup of a rudder and prop to visualize prop walk. I worked hard at being a good instructor - it is indeed a different skill set.

Peter

Ducatihottie said:

Back to my soap pee thingamajig. Is it ok?

Click to expand...

Yes! It’s ok.

If your boat has a "bowel thruster" then putting some hand soap in the tank might be a good idea

Cidal means it kills. Thought you had a basic knowledge of terms as inferred you were a respiratory therapist.
Wife said”as long as I have a house to come back you you can do what you what” She’s done 2000 nm passages and lived on ours last boat for 7 years. The trick is to make it our boat not my boat. I knew this early on so she not I picked the last several boats. Last boat was built for us. I first generated a short list of 4 boat builders. She saw them and she picked which builder to use. The one before was “new to me” but again generated a short list for her to pick from. She controls all infill decisions. Colors, brands, types of bedding, cooking, cleaning and such articles for activities of daily living. She controls our cruising plans. Where to go, who to meet, who to take. My input is only safety concerns which usually means when to go. I’ve done everything possible to give her ownership of the boat I know I’ve been successful as when she talks about boats to her friends it’s OUR boat.
Now we are in the process of buying our next boat. First we (not i) did a mission statement. We are agreed on how the boat is to be used. Second we looked at various designs within our budget. Third I gave her a short list based on my research. Fourth we picked one. We’re now on the next step. Finding one that meets my approval as regards technical stuff and meets her approval so we once again have OUR boat. “Happy wife....happy life”.

I don't know what Capt Lewis charges. I do know that hiring any professional to do anything in the Seattle metro area is expensive.

If you need to cut financial corners, and I do understand that, then here are a couple of suggestions:

• America's Boating Club boat handling courses.
• Consider joining a yacht club. Make friends. Ask for help. Find ways to pay it back. Some yacht clubs are very expensive to join, some not so much. Yacht Clubs | NWBoatInfo.com

Mvweebles is correct. Boat's are relationship accelerators. Because she's not thrilled with the boat leave your sweetie at home while you go through the most difficult part of the learning process.

Ducatihottie said:

Portage:

Linda's freaking expensive, done that.

OK EVERYONE SCREW ME and my PEE PEE POST.


My dock "8" has a a boat sticking out about 10 feet or more and I'm petrified going in and out of my slip.

MY WIFE can't help nor would I risk her life, (Ishe feeds my Bichon, "Popcorn"). And, she's happy with the tradeoff.

Click to expand...

don't put soap in the !@#$%^ unless your going to keep it pumped out and sparkly clean all the time.
Make sure the tank vent is clean and clear.
Make sure the tank vent is clean and clear.
Make sure the tank vent is not below a window you like to keep open.
don't put soap in the shitter.

Switch to rum, does the same job in 1/2 the time and volume.





And a personal note that took me a few years to learn, and one wise man to thump me in the head to remember..

You can only have one high maintenance item in your life. The others will get jealous and leave you stranded. So pick accordingly.

(this is coming from a guy that use to have a few Ducati's)

The two things you need to add or make sure gets added to a holding tank are water and air. Sounds simple but can get to be messy and smelly if not done properly.

Water- fresh water best and tends to smell less

Air - vent(s) need to be large (1 inch), straight (no bends, dips or large elevation changes) and short (the shorter the better), straight thru hull (no screens elbows, etc)

If above not easily accomplished you can add air with an inexpensive 12V fish tank bubbler.

I would stop adding any treatment except NoFlex or sodium percarbonate in small but frequent doses ( a tsp every or every other day. Double it when leaving it for a short (week) stretch and pump out if leaving for longer stretches.

Don't let contents sit in a holding tank for more than 5 days. Get it pumped out regularly. If you only use the boat on the weekends, try to get it pumped out on Sunday before you leave.

Freshwater helps with odor (as opposed to saltwater)

holding tank chemicals help. I would not use hadn soap in the head or holding tank. Fabuloso isn't bad and holding tank chemicals by Dometic are good.

As for the expense of a boat, nobody will be able to tell you what you can afford. Certainly having one person unemployed is difficult to foresee.

As for the significant other......Some hobbies are so expensive they really need complete commitment by both parties. If my wife didn't love it as much as I do, there is no way we could justify some of the expenses. We had a 10K repair bill over the winter and another 7K this summer. If this was my hobby alone, she would never have gone for this.

There is no key to getting her to love the boat. About the only hint I can give is to try and make sure you're doing things on the boat that she loves to do. If she is going to sit there watching you work or handing you tools, that is the fast lane to failure.

Brian -

For sure making your boat a more pleasant olfactory experience will help increase your wife's willingness to spend time aboard...

We use - and swear by - Forget About It for Boats as a holding tank treatment (ours is a fresh water Vacuflush system). Here's some info on using it with salt water heads:

One unavoidable issue with these systems is the microbial animal life in sea water will get trapped in the line leading from the hull to the head. The sea life in the line will die and the first few pumps of the lever can leave the head with some very foul-smelling water. When that happens, quickly switch the indicator to dry and pump it directly to the tank. Switch back to flush and pump again. Depending on the length of the hose, this water should be fresh and not have the odor the first pump. This will only need to be done at the beginning of the trip. Regular usage of the head will keep the incoming line with “fresh” sea or lake water. This will be true to a lesser extent with a boat in freshwater system. Forget About It For Boats cannot affect the water in the hull line leading to the head because there is no way to get it there. It will remove the foul sea water odor in the tank. It works as well in saltwater as it does in freshwater systems. The sea salt is just another food source for it. As a matter of fact, sea salt is one of the ingredients in Forget About It For Boats.

Check out the video we made that explains how it worked on our boat:

https://www.pacificnwboatertested.com/products/forget-about-it-for-boats