When Is It Time To Say Good Bye?

So we are at the Clearwater Beach Marina in Florida and we see this 55' yacht that is in extreme neglect. Talk to the dock hand and was told that he has worked there eight years and the boat has never moved.
This is what the boat should look like:
2005 Uniesse 55 Motoryacht Power Boat For Sale - www.yachtworld.com
But due to the neglect this is what condition it is in:


When do we finally let go and sell the boat?

Whichever child executes the estate will show up as a newbie talking to "how well maintained the boat used to be kept until things kinda slipped a little the last few years. Now he has an all cash offer for 25% of what they thought it used to be worth so should they take it or hold out for more money."

I've seen far to many other examples of this.

I've always thought there should be a law where a boat is confiscated if it isn't used and cared for, and donated to someone willing to do the deferred maintenance and use it regularly.
Similar to what would happen if you didn't feed or care for your dog.

There are several boats in our marina that are in much worse shape than that. Some have for sale signs on them, others don't. I've never seen anyone at any oF these boats yet they pay their slip rent every month. It's a shame.

I don't judge as long as they're causing no harm and that one doesn't appear to be. We don't know the reasons, but you might be suggesting that the owner should sell their dream. Perhaps the dream was to have time to take the kids out or perhaps the grandkids. Perhaps it was to go out with his wife when she recovers from the disease she's been treated for. Perhaps the owner died and the daughter or wife can't bring themselves to sell it. Now, if you do financial calculations, it likely makes no sense, but how do you value a dream? Sometimes the dream is all that's left to hold on to.

BandB said:

I don't judge as long as they're causing no harm and that one doesn't appear to be. We don't know the reasons, but you might be suggesting that the owner should sell their dream. Perhaps the dream was to have time to take the kids out..... but how do you value a dream? Sometimes the dream is all that's left to hold on to.

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If it was a dream, it is approaching nightmare now. There could be tragic reasons the boat fell into disuse and disrepair, but fact is, it`s a mess, and hull damage is likely occurring from the growth.
On any rational basis having a boat like that makes no sense. The owner ought fix it or sell it or both. It`s likely rationality has long gone out the window for a boat to reach that state.

It's difficult to give up dreams and reminders of good times.

What a beautiful boat. Something I would look for as a project after I finish my current project! LOL! The smell must be horrid just walking by.

What is the maritime equivalent of Fixer Upper?
Looks like a great platform for:
A new-in-town detailer to demonstrate their expertise.
A boat show demo project for all retailers to demonstrate their products.
A shipyard/marina project to offer seminars to boat owners in the marina how to maintain their boats, and to train their own employees.
A testing platform for bottom paint manufacturers.
A marine technical school project boat.
and finally
A police and Coast Guard training vessel, before final destruction.

...trying to see the lemonade.

Acheron2010 said:

What is the maritime equivalent of Fixer Upper?

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A Sinker Downer?

Floater Upper?

Goofy story...while perusing craigslist one day, I saw an ad for one of the boats in our marina that is badly neglected. It's a smaller boat with a little cabin. He was asking $995.
I told one of the guys in our marina who's always looking for projects and he said I'm going to offer him $500 for it. The guy was offended at the offer and turned it down.
That was probably six months ago or so. The boat is still sitting there and he's still paying like $235/month slip rent.
He should have taken the $500 and gotten rid of the slip rent bill and be done with it.
Makes no sense.

The math works out the same for the guy turning down an offer $10k off asking price on a 50'er. Some folks are so focused on the tree they completely miss the forest.

BruceK said:

If it was a dream, it is approaching nightmare now. There could be tragic reasons the boat fell into disuse and disrepair, but fact is, it`s a mess, and hull damage is likely occurring from the growth.
On any rational basis having a boat like that makes no sense. The owner ought fix it or sell it or both. It`s likely rationality has long gone out the window for a boat to reach that state.

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Why should they? Because you or others say? Is it hurting anyone other than themselves? I can't judge not knowing what is going on. A lot of life doesn't have to be rational, it can be emotional.

I think you hit the nail on the head in your title. Many boars in similar conditions are owned by a surviving spouse that hasn't yet been able to let go of the boat. Or the vessel is tied up in probate with no clear owner yet.

BandB said:

Why should they? Because you or others say? Is it hurting anyone other than themselves? I can't judge not knowing what is going on. A lot of life doesn't have to be rational, it can be emotional.

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I think you're on the mark BandB. My wife and I bought this boat two and a half years ago after being "landbound" for close to eighteen years, commercial fished before that.
The idea was to live aboard (we did move aboard immediatly), change a few things for better livability, and explore the BC coast.
Cancer came to call, diagnosed in October. Friday evening I put her in the hospital. Today she moves to hospice. Has maybe one and a half to four weeks.
I'll do what I can to keep the boat (or a boat). Maybe we (the boat and I) will
"die" together.

Ted

BandB said:

I don't judge as long as they're causing no harm and that one doesn't appear to be. We don't know the reasons, but you might be suggesting that the owner should sell their dream. Perhaps the dream was to have time to take the kids out or perhaps the grandkids. Perhaps it was to go out with his wife when she recovers from the disease she's been treated for. Perhaps the owner died and the daughter or wife can't bring themselves to sell it. Now, if you do financial calculations, it likely makes no sense, but how do you value a dream? Sometimes the dream is all that's left to hold on to.

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I understand what you are saying, but most of us have seen too many instances where a boat starts to fall into disrepair partly because of financial issues. The problem is that by hanging onto the boat, they financial problems simply get worse. When it is due to emotional issuers, not being able to part with the boat, the emotional pain is often worse when they do see the boat as it deteriorates.

Until the boat is a hazard, my reaction is simply empathy because usually at boat in that condition is telling a story, and it isn't a happy one.

Ted said:

I think you're on the mark BandB. My wife and I bought this boat two and a half years ago after being "landbound" for close to eighteen years, commercial fished before that.
The idea was to live aboard (we did move aboard immediatly), change a few things for better livability, and explore the BC coast.
Cancer came to call, diagnosed in October. Friday evening I put her in the hospital. Today she moves to hospice. Has maybe one and a half to four weeks.
I'll do what I can to keep the boat (or a boat). Maybe we (the boat and I) will
"die" together.

Ted

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Ted, I'm so sorry. I will be praying for you and your wife. So heartbreaking...

Greetings,
Mr. T. All the best.

My thanks to the "gang" on the forum.
It passes time and I am still learning from you. Can't ask for more.

Ted

Ted: So shocked and sad for your situation. One invests in ones future and so frequently finds the path going in an entirely different direction. I recall other TF members moving through a similar situations and I dread the realization that at any moment, it could be the same for the rest of us. I'm sending prayers your way.

So sad for you Ted... Yet you both accomplished way more than many. There were years together ashore, then life afloat. Dreams were realized though of course the time is too short. I send prayers for her comfort and soothing memories to you. I'm sorry for you both. J.

Ted, I'll second or third the sympathies. I'm sorry to hear that your wife is having health problems.




I agree with BandB.
I was going to say before I came back to the computer just now that , I left it hanging few hours ago, we do not know what has gone on in the families of those boats that are apparently left to have them ignore the boat.

One fellow I knew had serious health problems that laid him up for about three years in which time the boat looked pretty sad. He got back to it and had several more years before he finally had to really give it up.

Another two people I see fairly regularly makes their way SLOWLY to the boat to fiddle for a couple hours. The boat keeps them moving and gives him something to do. The boats look like the dickens and lot of people have commented that they should get rid of it.

But they are wrong, the get rid of it folks. It's that darn boat that keeps them hopeing that they will get aboard. Even if all it does is allow them to get out of the house it still serves a purpose.

I have seen other boats that have truly been left but we don't know that the owners won't be back and that's what keeps them hanging on.

Dreams for Ted and his wife.

It's hard to dream in such difficult times but I do have a couple that I dream for the two of you. For her, my dream is peace and minimal pain and suffering, comfort, memories that still make her smile till the end, love for you, love from you. The best care possible in making this time as good as it can be, so that she can still derive pleasure and joy even in the most adverse of conditions. It's your kiss, your holding her hand. It's also knowing from you that you'll somehow be ok and it's ok for her to let go when it's time. Finally, it's relief and further peace.

For you, it's the ability to still focus on the woman you love with all the memories, with all the passion, and in spite of being witness to that you hoped to never see. It's comfort that you have given her the best of you and will do so until the end. It's comfort and support in making the best decisions during this time. Then, finally is solace as you say good bye and the ability to live in her memory in spite of the grief you will feel. It's carrying the love and memories and honoring her by carrying on with life to your best ability. It's the ability to treasure all the good over the pain of the end.

I can't imagine what the two of you are facing, but I dream that together you'll face it as well as possible. Just the thoughts brought tears to my eyes and, yet, I know one day my wife and I will face similar. We've made commitments to each other as to how we'll handle it, but I do know contemplating those times is so much easier than it will be in the time. However, we've always brought each other strength and I dream that you and your wife will be able to do the same for each other as you face this together.

Do use all the services hospice has to offer for both of you. Don't try to handle it alone.

Thanks for having the courage to share with us. Hopefully we can all provide some respite. Dreams sadly change, but I hope you never stop dreaming.

Ted said:

I think you're on the mark BandB. My wife and I bought this boat two and a half years ago after being "landbound" for close to eighteen years, commercial fished before that.
The idea was to live aboard (we did move aboard immediatly), change a few things for better livability, and explore the BC coast.
Cancer came to call, diagnosed in October. Friday evening I put her in the hospital. Today she moves to hospice. Has maybe one and a half to four weeks.
I'll do what I can to keep the boat (or a boat). Maybe we (the boat and I) will
"die" together.

Ted

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Wifey B: My hubby said the right things. All I could think was %^@& $&^^%@ %&$$* %%#^&*

Those emotions are fine too. You have a right to them. After you scream, curse, yell, throw things, stomp your feet or anything else, let her know you'll be ok and then honor that promise.

Ted I'm very sorry to hear of your wife's illness. My thoughts and prayers are with the both of you . Stay strong .

Very sorry Ted. Prayers for both of you.

Ted,

I was mindlessly reading the thread when I read yours and it stopped me in my tracks!
please know that the thoughts and prayers of me and my family are with you and yours.
OD

MY PRAYERS !!!!!

One thing I will always thank my dad for, at least one month a year, two if you wanted, my sister and I had to take off from work and do what ever we wanted, travel, stay home, just whatever. He always said "you will have plenty of time to work in your life but maybe not plenty of time to do what you want."
Thanks Dad

Ted, May the prayers of the Irish help you through these troubled times, God Bless.