BamaRican
Member
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2021
- Messages
- 9
Wifey B: I'm going to say three words that may surprise but then try to explain.
Rejoice in Grief
Sounds paradoxical, but it really does fit. See, the real basis of grieving after a death is all the wonderful memories from one's life. Excellent father, grandfather, great grandfather, lived well. Good man. Left great memories and as you work through the grief, more and more you'll find yourself thinking of the great times and rejoicing that you have them, even now as his time on earth has ended.
I speak a bit from opposite experience, having never lost anyone I love to death but hubby and I sort of adopted parents in our adult years and I know how horrible I'm going to find their deaths when they come. But I compare to the deaths of our birth fathers and neither of us felt any sadness over the death, just the emptiness of not feeling. We could only imagine at those times what others like you go through. Even today, we haven't been through what you're going through. However, I do feel that having grief over the death of a father is a horrible and wonderful experience at the same time.
The following words are often misinterpreted as having something to do with the failure of romance, but they were not that. They are from Alfred Lord Tennyson's "In Memoriam A. H. H." It was originally entitled "The Way of the Soul" and was quite lengthy in revealing his thoughts on the death of his close friend. I offer only these four lines but highly recommend the entire poem.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
My thoughts are with you. Just treasure the sorrow you feel.
When my close friend died playing volleyball with a bunch of men. That night as I was heartbroken a friend of mine from Boston asked me
“What’s good about this?”
After I rudely questioned his remark he told me that’s just my pain speaking but my heart would answer that question.
As hard as it is to ask it during hard times, asking what’s good about (blank), turns your heart towards gratitude instead of darkness.
When I gave it a good shot I remembered all the good times with my friend and all the good he did.
Hope this helps.
