Divorcing the Wife and looking to marry a Trawler. - Page 2

Max Simmons · 03-22-2021, 11:05 AM

To balance out all the naysayers above, I lived aboard during and after the Divorce. I have to say that those were some of the best times of my life! A couple of nice restaurant and bars within walking distance, met some good people who were also live aboards, able to easily lock the door and jump on a plane to get away for a quick jaunt without a house and yard to worry about. I was lucky enough to end up with girlfriend that I met on a boating trip in the San Juans who loves boating. All in all, no complaints.
As far as the boat, Mine is 38' and I don't think I'd try anything smaller. A separate stall shower is a must. The larger boats obviously have more creature comforts, but depending on your abilities, are tougher to single hand. I liked getting out of the marina on the weekends and 38' is easy to single hand.
As was mentioned above, I'd visit the marinas that you'd like to end up in and see if there are any potential boats there. Buying a boat that you can assume the moorage can sure make things easier.

tiltrider1 · 03-22-2021, 11:20 AM

Max, did you own the boat before the divorce?

I see a much higher success rate for boat owners who then become liveaboards. Non boat owners who jump directly into the liveaboard life have a very high failure rate.

Max Simmons · 03-22-2021, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiltrider1

Max, did you own the boat before the divorce?

Yes, actually probably one of the reasons for the divorce!

rmatics · 03-22-2021, 02:39 PM

Boats with transferable slips sometimes come up in Oceanside Harbor.
Check with Breakwater Yachts, the local broker.

mvweebles · 03-22-2021, 05:04 PM

I broke up with a girlfriend with whom I'd lived with for 10 years. I bought a 30 foot boat and happily lived aboard. I eventually met a gal who thought it was super cool. That was 25 years ago and we're still together and about to head off cruising.

I loved living aboard. Moving ashore was a bigger mistake than moving aboard.

Peter

johnrupp · 03-22-2021, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mvweebles

I broke up with a girlfriend with whom id loved with for 10 years. I bought a 30 foot boat and happily lived aboard. I eventually met a gal who thought it was super cool. That was 25 years ago and we're still together and about to head off cruising.

I loved living aboard. Moving ashore was a bigger mistake than moving aboard.

Peter

You loved with her or lived with her Peter?

John

kthoennes · 03-22-2021, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnrupp

You loved with her or lived with her Peter?

John

Maybe both...

rgano · 03-22-2021, 07:11 PM

Bought boat in '86 in San Diego. Lived aboard in San Diego for three years. Moved boat to Florida in '90 and moved ashore. Divorced in '96 and moved aboard for two years. Liked it fine. Second wife loved boat and misses it since we sold it in 2015, but I was no longer interested in life aboard and all its difficulties and inconveniences unless cruising, which we did. Now I am have little interest in cruising or living aboard, but enjoy having a boat which can take us aboard for a few days when we wish. Life goes on.

IMHO, the Grnad Banks 42 Europa (mine was a classic) would be a perfect solo liveaboard.

FWT · 03-22-2021, 07:44 PM

As a veteran of the divorce experience, I really enjoyed good jokes about it. It helps keep you sane and grounded in tough times.

My favorite: Why is divorce so expensive? Because its worth it.

I post that because it also applies to boats.

Why are boats so expensive? Because they are worth it.

markbarendt · 03-23-2021, 08:59 AM

Well, while waiting for winter I'd suggest getting out on a few different boats for a few overnight stays or charters. Get a feel for the size and stuff you might like.

Traderjoe · 03-29-2021, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capnsin

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

Did same 4 years ago and never been happier.

Don't wait!

carolynmarie · 03-29-2021, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capnsin

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

My suggestion is wait till covid is under control and you’ll get a better deal. I had two trawlers a 36 foot heritage and a 31 foot Camino both great trawlers that I could handle my self even though locks. Do not buy a boat if it doesn’t come with maintenance history. It’s hard to find a boat or an RV vehicle all because of Covid. Carolyn from Maryland

ramkay · 03-29-2021, 01:17 PM

Getting divorced? Never mind changing home but rather change continent. Kids are grown, they can come and visit. My recommendation is a Grand Banks 42 and above somewhere in Europe. Try France or Spain.

Dann38 · 03-29-2021, 01:17 PM

I am just listing my 1983 PT-38 38' trawler for sale for $89k. It would be a great solo live-aboard. Located in Channel Islands Harbor (CA). It's been my cruising vessel for our local islands so it's well setup for anchor/cruising too.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/gQcByWCbkLqVnswx8

rjwilliams11741 · 03-29-2021, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiltrider1

After 25 years of sitting on the dock watching newly divorced men move on to boats, this is my observations. Three years later they have a new girlfriend who is not into the boat at all. They have moved off the boat and the boat sits there for another 7 years unused sucking up cash.

RE: "girlfriend who is not into the boat at all". That's just poor planning - make sure first.

BandB · 03-29-2021, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capnsin

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

Wifey B:

Research, think all you want, but don't make a major move into something you have no experience and requiring lots of money at this time. Wait. If one year from the divorce you want to do it, then proceed. Just now is horrific timing for such a decision.

Exsailor2018 · 03-29-2021, 01:49 PM

I’ve been from Maine to key Weird over the years and I was amazed how many old guys living on all types of boats and drinking their wives away. Every marina in Florida has them. Be sure of your plan.

CarlF · 03-29-2021, 02:07 PM

Agree with finding the slip first. Make sure you like your future neighbors and neighborhood. It makes all the difference. Then buy a boat to fit. There are always plenty of boats available.

For the boat - unless you have sworn off women entirely buy a boat such that a woman would like to visit. This means no mildew or other smells, new cushions, spotless galley and a really nice head. Electric head and good size shower mandatory. Budget spending $25K post purchase with these cosmetics.

Usually trawlers are better live-aboard boats as they don't give up space for fishing or going fast.

If you look like a hermit living in a hut, you'll spend a lot of time alone.

Bryant · 03-29-2021, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capnsin

Kids are grown and we were better parents than a couple. I am working remote and as soon as the house sells buying a Trawler. The market is very tight. Willing to wait into winter to try and find my new home. Any suggestions for a Solo liveaboard Trawler?

Thank you all in advance.

Finding any slip between Ventura and San Diego is going to be a challenge. Finding a live aboard in that area, even more so.
What is your boating experience. If you don’t have big boat experience you may find getting insurance difficult. Virtually impossible if this is your first boat. If you can overcome these obstacles, a later model Grand Banks 36 would be a place to start looking. It has a forward v berth, large closet, full head and shower, main cabin with full galley and an aft cabin with either an island queen or a full bed to starboard and a twin to port with nice storage and large closet. If you will be single handling you will want the version that has a door by the helm on the stb side and another one on the aft side of the main cabin to port. I would recommend 1 engine. That’s what mine has. PM me and I’ll explain all the reasons why. Having said that, single handling a boat of this size and weight is no walk in the park. Also, you will find pretty quickly that a 36 of any make will get pretty small pretty quick if you are a full time live aboard. Also, plan to spend at least 10% annually of the purchase price of the boat to own, operate and maintain it. Many more in that area.
Since I know very little of your expectations, experience or requirements in a boat it’s hard to advise. If you have limited boating experience I would advise you to charter several and spend time on boats before making this leap. You might consider finding a suitable boat for sale in Oceanside harbor that comes with the slip and then taking a small condo or apt in the area.
Good luck!

Bill V · 03-29-2021, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B:

Research, think all you want, but don't make a major move into something you have no experience and requiring lots of money at this time. Wait. If one year from the divorce you want to do it, then proceed. Just now is horrific timing for such a decision.

This is good advice, listen to it and learn.