Women boating?

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alormaria said:
Twice I've had the pleasure speaking with a female US Coast Guard Admiral.



Making fun of her by calling her "Admiral" was the very, very, very last thing on my mind.
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What am I missing? Why would calling her Admiral be making fun of her?
 
As one of the “infinitesimal few” here on the forum, I have some observations: First of all, my female friends who boat with spouses almost ALL despise being called the Admiral. It’s condescending.

I find a lot of the objectification of woman to be pretty intolerable - “the wife,” “the girlfriend,” etc are represented as interchangeable, replaceable units, and as often standing in the way of the real boaters (I.e., the men). I would like to see a lot less of this attitude.

This forum has a lot of value to me, so I made the decision to not let the misogyny of the few spoil it. I enjoy reading the posts and contributing my small bit to discussions. Others have said it also: be respectful of the other members, and I add, remember that real boaters really do come in different genders, ages, experience…

My hope is that forum members will continue to be as opinionated as ever about all things boating - anchors, single vs twin engines, best bottom paints, etc. - and leave politics and gender-bashing out of the public posts.
 
Well said Sue. Just hang in there... ☝️ :thumb:
 
Spinner said:
As one of the “infinitesimal few” here on the forum, I have some observations: First of all, my female friends who boat with spouses almost ALL despise being called the Admiral. It’s condescending.

I find a lot of the objectification of woman to be pretty intolerable - “the wife,” “the girlfriend,” etc are represented as interchangeable, replaceable units, and as often standing in the way of the real boaters (I.e., the men). I would like to see a lot less of this attitude.

This forum has a lot of value to me, so I made the decision to not let the misogyny of the few spoil it. I enjoy reading the posts and contributing my small bit to discussions. Others have said it also: be respectful of the other members, and I add, remember that real boaters really do come in different genders, ages, experience…

My hope is that forum members will continue to be as opinionated as ever about all things boating - anchors, single vs twin engines, best bottom paints, etc. - and leave politics and gender-bashing out of the public posts.
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Thank you for great and very realistic views


Spinner said:
remember that real boaters really do come in different genders, ages, experience…
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I would also like, if you permit me, to add < nationality > ; indeed I am also wondering why the average number of visits from European countries account for only less than 5 % of total traffic of TrawlerForum
 
Spinner said:
As one of the “infinitesimal few” here on the forum, I have some observations: First of all, my female friends who boat with spouses almost ALL despise being called the Admiral. It’s condescending.

I find a lot of the objectification of woman to be pretty intolerable - “the wife,” “the girlfriend,” etc are represented as interchangeable, replaceable units, and as often standing in the way of the real boaters (I.e., the men). I would like to see a lot less of this attitude.

....................
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IF almost ALL your female friends despise being called Admiral then their men must not have heard about it because I cannot imagine they would continue using the term. Mind you if the same men say "the wife" instead of "my wife" then I can see it. I will continue to call my wife the Admiral until she tells me not to, thank you. It is not one for all.
 
Does all this mean I can’t tease Wifey B about wearing high heel Topsiders?
Please don’t kill me. I’m just kidding. I have tremendous respect for women boaters. Some time I’ll tell ya’ll about Margret Grutsbach, who ruled the Miami River.
 
lwarden said:
Now, the big question is: did you know Sperry actually made these first, or did they come up in a google search?
I’m simply astounded they actually exist….
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Wifey B: I didn't ever seek them out as I prefer more traditional heels but someone had mentioned them to me before and I saw them then. Most of them look more like boots and not very cute, but the pair I mentioned isn't quite as bad. I'm not really a boot person. Either tennies or deckies (going Australian here) or very nice quality heels. :)

I think Sperry Topsider Heels is somewhere between the sublime and ridiculous. I don't grasp what possesses companies to get into things so far from their norm, but apparently they've become somewhat collector items. :nonono:
 
I was a Topsider dealer for about fifty years. I had no idea.
 
Spinner said:
As one of the “infinitesimal few” here on the forum, I have some observations: First of all, my female friends who boat with spouses almost ALL despise being called the Admiral. It’s condescending.



I find a lot of the objectification of woman to be pretty intolerable - “the wife,” “the girlfriend,” etc are represented as interchangeable, replaceable units, and as often standing in the way of the real boaters (I.e., the men). I would like to see a lot less of this attitude.



This forum has a lot of value to me, so I made the decision to not let the misogyny of the few spoil it. I enjoy reading the posts and contributing my small bit to discussions. Others have said it also: be respectful of the other members, and I add, remember that real boaters really do come in different genders, ages, experience…



My hope is that forum members will continue to be as opinionated as ever about all things boating - anchors, single vs twin engines, best bottom paints, etc. - and leave politics and gender-bashing out of the public posts.
Click to expand...
Condescending to use the term "admiral"? That is an opinion, not a fact. Some think it to be a term of respect. However, I do not use it cuz I think (another opinion) it sounds dumb.
 
I often call my wife the Admiral and in no way a derogatory way. It best sums up our jobs on the boat. The Admiral decides where the boat is going and when it is leaving. And I as Captain is expected to get it there. The Admiral is perfectly capable of doing it herself and will consult with the Captain if he has any objections. And will defer to the Captain for safety reasons. But generally the Admiral has already thought those through. Besides the Admiral would rather leave the mundane task of driving to the Captain anyway.
 
brmoney said:
I often call my wife the Admiral and in no way a derogatory way. It best sums up our jobs on the boat. The Admiral decides where the boat is going and when it is leaving. And I as Captain is expected to get it there. The Admiral is perfectly capable of doing it herself and will consult with the Captain if he has any objections. And will defer to the Captain for safety reasons. But generally the Admiral has already thought those through. Besides the Admiral would rather leave the mundane task of driving to the Captain anyway.
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Wifey B: And the Admiral has other boats and other captains in her fleet? She must if the name sums up the job. :rofl:

Maybe the Navy should reconsider the Admiral thing and assign one Admiral to each boat and insist they sleep with the Captain. :eek:

As I've said it's fine to call your spouse anything she wants to be called and it's not ok to call her anything she doesn't want to be called. Similarly, it's not ok to use anything but one's name to others until or unless you're sure they're fine with some nickname. :)

I wonder how many wives actually asked to be called Admiral. I'd venture that name selection was done nearly always by the husband. :ermm:
 
Those most likely to earnestly reflect on the use of a supposedly innocuous but probably insulting use of any term, prompted or not, are those least likely to be using it in the first place. :shrug:
 
Alaskaflyer said:
Those most likely to earnestly reflect on the use of a supposedly innocuous but probably insulting use of any term, prompted or not, are those least likely to be using it in the first place. :shrug:
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Hubby B: How true. A term like that doesn't have to bother all to be a problem, just some. Terms can become common and still not be good to use. Then one blames political correctness but it's really just common courtesy. I think of terms I used when younger and names I called friends that I now regret because even though they were accepting of everyone doing it, I suspect deep down it wasn't.
 
My wife, known as First Mate, is following a thread on the Island Packet owners facebook page about women sailors.
She is surprised by comments from many American sailing ladies about the way they are treated by many male sailors, especially in Sailing Clubs and Marina's.


Not a problem here in the UK.


How could it be with examples like Ellen McArthur showing just how good ladies can be on the water................:thumb:
 
BandB said:
I think of terms I used when younger and names I called friends that I now regret because even though they were accepting of everyone doing it, I suspect deep down it wasn't.
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Ain't that the truth.

That said, my wife proclaimed herself "Princessa" early in our now-26 year relationship. Basically means I make coffee in the morning and I'm bartender in the evenings (instead of a small servant-bell to summon me, she clinks ice cubes in her empty glass).

I've never asked her about the "Admiral" thing. To me, it just never sounded right so have never used it. I hope it sounds less condescending when spoken than when written.

Peter
 
mvweebles said:
Ain't that the truth.

That said, my wife proclaimed herself "Princessa" early in our now-26 year relationship. Basically means I make coffee in the morning and I'm bartender in the evenings (instead of a small servant-bell to summon me, she clinks ice cubes in her empty glass).

I've never asked her about the "Admiral" thing. To me, it just never sounded right so have never used it. I hope it sounds less condescending when spoken than when written.

Peter
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First Mate and I had a nice couple berth alongside in Dartmouth last July.
The lady on board the Nauticat was not very interested in the boat, but liked being aboard when alonside in a pretty Harbour.


The guy told me they split the work by designating jobs as " Pink " or "Blue " jobs.


Sounded to me like she stitched him up big time...................:nonono:
 
It get tiring to be told what's appropriate and not appropriate to call your wife (or GF). Tires of "new pronouns and names we can't mention". Let's go back to the good old days.


Who cares if I refer to my wife (or GF) as an Admiral, First Mate, Significant other, Partner, Doctor, by her first or last name or anything else. It's what SHE accepts and NOT what others perceive to be correct.


She, by chance, likes all of the above, but Admiral is what she wants to be called on the boat. So it is.


To hell with the political correctness.
 
Funny thing is, the good old days weren't really all that good.

But I agree that if your wife, girlfriend, whoever wants to put up with it, or declares herself to be fleet empress or Mistress Nautica, or chief yacht floozie, who cares? But if some jerk asked my wife how she likes being the "admiral", I'm afraid that I wouldn't even get a chance to speak to him about it, he would be otherwise engaged.

BTW (referring to another post) "Captain" and "First Mate" are titles for people performing in that capacity IMO. Sometimes I am the mate, she is the captain.
 
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BandB said:
Wifey B: And the Admiral has other boats and other captains in her fleet? She must if the name sums up the job. :rofl:

Maybe the Navy should reconsider the Admiral thing and assign one Admiral to each boat and insist they sleep with the Captain. :eek:

As I've said it's fine to call your spouse anything she wants to be called and it's not ok to call her anything she doesn't want to be called. Similarly, it's not ok to use anything but one's name to others until or unless you're sure they're fine with some nickname. :)

I wonder how many wives actually asked to be called Admiral. I'd venture that name selection was done nearly always by the husband. :ermm:
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:nonono: You know what is real funny. I asked my admiral if she would rather have me call her Wifey. :nonono:
It seems in spite of PC we are still not all marching in lockstep.
 
Seevee said:
It get tiring to be told what's appropriate and not appropriate to call your wife (or GF). Tires of "new pronouns and names we can't mention". Let's go back to the good old days.


Who cares if I refer to my wife (or GF) as an Admiral, First Mate, Significant other, Partner, Doctor, by her first or last name or anything else. It's what SHE accepts and NOT what others perceive to be correct.


She, by chance, likes all of the above, but Admiral is what she wants to be called on the boat. So it is.


To hell with the political correctness.
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The point isn't how you and your wife refer to each other, it's how you refer to others.

We're not talking political anything except when you make it so, we're talking common courtesy and respect. You refer to another's wife as Admiral without having been told by her she wants to be called that, you're being disrespectful to her.
 
Soo-Valley said:
:nonono: You know what is real funny. I asked my admiral if she would rather have me call her Wifey. :nonono:
It seems in spite of PC we are still not all marching in lockstep.
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We never use the term wifey or hubby other than posting on boating forums. Only here to distinguish who.
 
BandB said:
We never use the term wifey or hubby other than posting on boating forums. Only here to distinguish who.
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No matter, I guess you missed the point that offense can be taken just because you use either even if just on TF. If hubby would have used wifey I would have called him on it or vice versa.
Why not use your name? I actually do not know anyone calling their partner with those words, yet you have chosen it as a statement the same as we that use admiral have chosen. :flowers:
 
Fish53 said:
Not having the testosterone problem I would be confident women would be far superior to men at operating boats. They do almost everything better than men. (by the way ladies I'm single?)
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You are going to make a wonderful lap dog. :D:D:D
 
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