Humor

[bogranjac1]

humour

Seriously now - this WAS printed in the leading Australian weekend newspaper. or more precisely ouch !!

 

[Northern Spy]

Seriously now - this WAS printed in the leading Australian weekend newspaper. or more precisely ouch !!

That was huge news in Canada last summer.

 

[bogranjac1]

That was huge news in Canada last summer.

I just laughed and laughed - i thought how utterly ridiculous this world has become when this pure nonsense is even considered justified.

 

[Art]

I call equal rights for shaved heads and weightlifters - male or female!! LOL

 

[BruceK]

In a world gone mad, sanity prevails. Water is vital to our existence. Good water especially.

 

[menzies]

 

[Toki]

In a world gone mad, sanity prevails. Water is vital to our existence. Good water especially.

That's just hilarious! Almost as funny as the concept of bottling water in Fiji or Iceland and transporting it all the way to grocery shelves in the US.

 

[Art]

Almost as funny as having elections then voting and thinking things will be better.

 

[HopCar]

I make artisanal water several times a day. Silly me, I just flush it.

 

[Andy G]

My humble offering, as we all seem to have a lot of time to kill.

 

[BruceK]

Good one Andy!
Here`s a little Covid19 joke (or is it?).


Employer to Staffer

"You have 2 options, A & B, for seeing out the duration of the virus.
Option A is remaining at home indoors with your wife and children."

"I`ll take Option B".

 

[FF]

--

 

[Feloze]

Good one Andy!
Here`s a little Covid19 joke (or is it?).


Employer to Staffer

"You have 2 options, A & B, for seeing out the duration of the virus.
Option A is remaining at home indoors with your wife and children."

"I`ll take Option B".

Sometimes it's really better to stay away from your wife for a long time

 

[RT Firefly]

Greetings,
Welcome aboard. Oh dear...You're gonna burn for THAT one...

 

[O C Diver]

Ted

 

[RT Firefly]

Greetings,
Mr. OC. Didn't see that one coming at all. Nice!

 

[RonR]

If you get an E-mail with Knock-Knock in the title block don't open it.



Its a Mormon working from home !

 

[menzies]

If you get an E-mail with Knock-Knock in the title block don't open it.



Its a Mormon working from home !

Oooooooohhhhhhhh!

Using that one!

 

[O C Diver]

Ted

 

[O C Diver]

Ted

 

[menzies]

You think it's bad now?

In twenty years the country will be run by people who were home schooled by day drinkers!

 

[Art]

Remember back when we used to say we wanted the weekend to never end...

We must be careful what we ask for!! LOL

 

[FF]

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 A. M. Can you believe that...2:30 A. M. ?

Lucky for him I was still up practicing my Bagpipes.

The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.

I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker.

Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has traveled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears, and climbed the highest mountain.Â

It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat.

 

[O C Diver]

Ted

 

[bogranjac1]

And of course - how to save toilet paper - use both sides.

 

[Art]

How to help stop Coronavirus from entering your body:

Keep a glass of wine in each hand. You'll never touch your face!

 

[Art]

1. March/April 2020: My car's one gallon per week is the best mileage I've ever experienced.

2. Traffic Stop: Officer asks driver to get out of car.

Driver trips on wide crack in road and gets back up; humorously says to officer... best way to succeed if you fall down is to get back up!

Officer replies: That analogy does not apply for drunk driving...

3. Wanna get your teenage kids to stay home during this period of sequestration?? Tell them the only auto they can use is the one with standard stick shift transmission. Then give them instructions written in cursive!

4. Oh Oh - The alarm went off. I'd better get the heck out of bed. My work day appointment in the living room, on the couch, starts in 3 minutes!

5. For the first time in history it's correct to enter banks with mask and gloves on.

 

[syjos]

This ones pretty good.

 

[syjos]

And finally.

 

[menzies]

Well they said to wear a mask...