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Old 11-30-2021, 09:59 PM   #2441
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Greetings,



It's self-preservation.. You can't un-see that.
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Old 12-01-2021, 07:48 AM   #2442
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Old 12-01-2021, 09:34 AM   #2443
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Philosophy Professor " What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? "


Student replies " I dont know and I dont care! "
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Old 12-03-2021, 11:20 PM   #2444
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Old 12-05-2021, 08:59 PM   #2445
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Poor George, the Millenial...


George was sick of the world. Tired of Covid-19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, China, Election conspiracies, global warming, racial tensions, BLM riots and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.

George decided to end himself.

George drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could.

He got back into his car and lowered all the windows, selected his favorite radio station, then he started the car.

Two days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car.

She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling George from the car.

A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.
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Old 12-05-2021, 09:45 PM   #2446
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A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.


That joke hasn't improved a bit since November 22 (#2435)
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Old 12-06-2021, 10:48 AM   #2447
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OK, here we go.

A MALE FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a prince asked abeautiful Princess "Will you marry me?" the Princess said "NO' and the Prince lived happily ever after, riding motorcycles, dating thin, long legged, big breasted women half his age and cheerleaders and hunting and fishing and racing cars and going to naked bars and drinking whiskey and beer and Captain Morgan and never paid child support or alimony and never lost his house and kept his guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and never got cheated on and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The end!
LOL! A great life indeed!
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Old 12-11-2021, 06:35 AM   #2448
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A group of women from Perth, Australia were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.



The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.


Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart"
Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are 11 hilarious replies.


If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love.

Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?


1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean.
6. What the hell did you do now?
7 Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need.
8. Am I dreaming?
9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
10 I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.


(My personalfavourite!)

11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she.
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Old 12-17-2021, 06:52 PM   #2449
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Old 12-19-2021, 08:36 AM   #2450
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A Calafornian movie star takes her 15 year old daughter to the Doctor. The Doctor examines her and pronounces his diagnisis.


" Mrs Dempsey, your daughter Ceilia is pregnant! "


" Dont be so ridiculous Doctor - Ceilia has never been alone with a man in her life.We have a Lifestyle Coach and Chaperone to ensure just that!


The Doctor goes to a window, throws it open and looks into the night sky - for twenty minutes.


" Doctor - what are you doing? " enquires the Mother.


" Well Mrs Dempsey - the last time this happened a Star rose in the East. " came the reply from the Doctor. " I dont want to miss it this time...................."
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Old 12-19-2021, 05:49 PM   #2451
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Old 01-07-2022, 06:36 PM   #2452
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Old 01-07-2022, 07:25 PM   #2453
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I'm tired of fast moves, I've got a slow groove, on my mind.....
I want to spend some time, Not come and go in a heated rush.....
"Slow Hand" by The Pointer Sisters
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Old 01-08-2022, 07:11 PM   #2454
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"Stick Library" for dogs at a beach in Yeppoon,Northern Queensland. Similar to free exchange book library. Persuading "Fido" to return a borrowed stick might be tough.
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Old 01-13-2022, 02:08 PM   #2455
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Since we’re talking about dogs.
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Old 01-14-2022, 07:16 PM   #2456
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Old 01-16-2022, 04:20 PM   #2457
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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
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