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11-30-2021, 08:59 PM
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#2441
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Guru
City: Vermont
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 10,095
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RT Firefly
Greetings,
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It's self-preservation.. You can't un-see that.
__________________
MVTanglewood.com
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12-01-2021, 06:48 AM
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#2442
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TF Site Team
City: Jacksonville
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,683
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….
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12-01-2021, 08:34 AM
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#2443
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Veteran Member
City: Didcot UK
Vessel Name: Jarrow Lily
Vessel Model: Island Packet SP Cruiser
Join Date: Jun 2021
Posts: 79
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Philosophy Professor " What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? "
Student replies " I dont know and I dont care! "
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12-03-2021, 10:20 PM
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#2444
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Guru
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 13,333
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__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
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12-05-2021, 07:59 PM
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#2445
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Senior Member
City: Toronto
Vessel Name: Bermuda Belle
Vessel Model: Marine Trader 36 Sedan
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 393
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Poor George, the Millenial...
George was sick of the world. Tired of Covid-19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, China, Election conspiracies, global warming, racial tensions, BLM riots and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.
George decided to end himself.
George drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could.
He got back into his car and lowered all the windows, selected his favorite radio station, then he started the car.
Two days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car.
She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling George from the car.
A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.
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12-05-2021, 08:45 PM
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#2446
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Guru
City: Tacoma, WA & Ashland, OR
Vessel Name: boatless, ex: Seeadler
Vessel Model: RAWSON 41
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,234
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Max1
A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.
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That joke hasn't improved a bit since November 22 (# 2435)
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12-06-2021, 09:48 AM
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#2447
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Member
City: Corpus Christi
Join Date: Dec 2021
Posts: 8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith
OK, here we go.
A MALE FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a prince asked abeautiful Princess "Will you marry me?" the Princess said "NO' and the Prince lived happily ever after, riding motorcycles, dating thin, long legged, big breasted women half his age and cheerleaders and hunting and fishing and racing cars and going to naked bars and drinking whiskey and beer and Captain Morgan and never paid child support or alimony and never lost his house and kept his guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and never got cheated on and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The end!
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LOL! A great life indeed!
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12-11-2021, 05:35 AM
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#2448
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Guru
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 22,553
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A group of women from Perth, Australia were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart"
Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.
Below are 11 hilarious replies.
If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love.
Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?
1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean.
6. What the hell did you do now?
7 Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need.
8. Am I dreaming?
9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
10 I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
(My personalfavourite!)
11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she.
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12-17-2021, 05:52 PM
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#2449
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Guru
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 13,333
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__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
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12-19-2021, 07:36 AM
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#2450
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Veteran Member
City: Didcot UK
Vessel Name: Jarrow Lily
Vessel Model: Island Packet SP Cruiser
Join Date: Jun 2021
Posts: 79
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A Calafornian movie star takes her 15 year old daughter to the Doctor. The Doctor examines her and pronounces his diagnisis.
" Mrs Dempsey, your daughter Ceilia is pregnant! "
" Dont be so ridiculous Doctor - Ceilia has never been alone with a man in her life.We have a Lifestyle Coach and Chaperone to ensure just that!
The Doctor goes to a window, throws it open and looks into the night sky - for twenty minutes.
" Doctor - what are you doing? " enquires the Mother.
" Well Mrs Dempsey - the last time this happened a Star rose in the East. " came the reply from the Doctor. " I dont want to miss it this time...................."
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12-19-2021, 04:49 PM
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#2451
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TF Site Team
City: Jacksonville
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,683
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…..
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01-07-2022, 05:36 PM
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#2452
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Guru
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 13,333
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__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
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01-07-2022, 06:25 PM
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#2453
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Guru
City: Fort Myers, FL... Summers in the Great Lakes
Vessel Name: Slow Hand
Vessel Model: Cherubini Independence 45
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 12,835
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__________________
Blog: mvslowhand.com
I'm tired of fast moves, I've got a slow groove, on my mind.....
I want to spend some time, Not come and go in a heated rush.....
"Slow Hand" by The Pointer Sisters
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01-08-2022, 06:11 PM
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#2454
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Guru
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 13,333
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"Stick Library" for dogs at a beach in Yeppoon,Northern Queensland. Similar to free exchange book library. Persuading "Fido" to return a borrowed stick might be tough.
__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
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01-13-2022, 01:08 PM
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#2455
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TF Site Team
City: Jacksonville
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,683
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Since we’re talking about dogs.
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01-14-2022, 06:16 PM
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#2456
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Guru
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 13,333
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__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
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01-16-2022, 03:20 PM
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#2457
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Guru
City: Stratford, CT
Vessel Name: Blue Moon
Vessel Model: Mainship Pilot 355
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 3,937
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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
__________________
“In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
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01-19-2022, 05:41 AM
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#2458
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Guru
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 22,553
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Sometimes, I sit and wonder about what actually happened to all those people I gave directions to.
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01-19-2022, 07:00 AM
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#2459
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Guru
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,569
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FF
Sometimes, I sit and wonder about what actually happened to all those people I gave directions to.
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See - "Wrong Turn" 2003
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01-19-2022, 07:03 AM
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#2460
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Guru
City: Gulf Islands, BC Canada
Vessel Name: Sea Sanctuary
Vessel Model: Bayliner 4588
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 5,017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FF
Sometimes, I sit and wonder about what actually happened to all those people I gave directions to.
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Don't worry, I am sure they turned and turned and turned out OK
__________________
SteveK
You only need one working engine. That is why I have two.
Sea Sanctuary-new to me 1992 Bayliner 4588
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