Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 11-16-2021, 05:35 PM   #2421
Guru
 
backinblue's Avatar
 
City: Stratford, CT
Vessel Name: Blue Moon
Vessel Model: Mainship Pilot 355
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,851
OMG do we have to continue down this path?
__________________
“In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
backinblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2021, 06:16 PM   #2422
TF Site Team
 
Larry M's Avatar
 
City: Jacksonville
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 10,032
……
Attached Thumbnails
49AA2093-F20F-4507-9D51-F3030017837E.jpeg  
Larry M is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2021, 10:45 PM   #2423
Art
Guru
 
Art's Avatar
 
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 11,510
Tonto and Lone Ranger were asleep at 2 PM in the desert.

Tonto wakes and quickly rustles Lone Ranger awake.

Ranger says what?

Tonto says look up. What do you see?

Ranger answers: I see an aura of millions of stars. There are some constellations too. Also patterns in some of the star configurations. Probably hundreds or more other life giving and supporting planets in the mix. There goes a shooting star!

Tonto says - What's your problem? You stupid as buffalo shit! Someone stole our tent!
Art is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2021, 10:38 AM   #2424
Veteran Member
 
City: Didcot UK
Vessel Name: Jarrow Lily
Vessel Model: Island Packet SP Cruiser
Join Date: Jun 2021
Posts: 36
A Grandaughter goes to Grandpa and asks " Grandpa - can you make a noise like a frog? "


" I think so honey - why is that? " he replies.


" Mum says when you croak we're all going to Disney! "
Jarrow Lily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2021, 10:52 AM   #2425
Veteran Member
 
Max1's Avatar
 
City: Toronto
Vessel Name: Bermuda Belle
Vessel Model: Marine Trader 36 Sedan
Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 65
Dad-Joke Alert!!!

My family issues

So I've always had a rocky relationship with my brother. But to be fair he was always a little unusual.
When he was 16 he shaved his head and got tattoos all over his face.
When he was 18, he legally changed his name to Radio. He got some plastic surgery done and filed his teeth and became a Krishna.
Then he called me out of the blue and told me he was a woman, and wanted to be referred to as "she" from now on.

I tried to take all this in stride, because he/she was still family and I loved her. But to be honest, it was difficult.
Last month I called her and invited her to my birthday party, hoping to make peace. And she showed up! And I was so proud to introduce her to all my friends. With nothing but love and pride in my voice, I announced, "everyone, this is my trans sister, Radio!"
Max1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2021, 02:26 PM   #2426
Guru
 
AlaskaProf's Avatar
 
City: Tacoma, WA & Ashland, OR
Vessel Name: SEEADLER
Vessel Model: RAWSON 41
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max1 View Post
I announced, "everyone, this is my trans sister, Radio!"

That joke is gonna fall flat in an audience under 60!
Attached Thumbnails
zenith500.jpg  
AlaskaProf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2021, 02:28 PM   #2427
Guru
 
AlaskaProf's Avatar
 
City: Tacoma, WA & Ashland, OR
Vessel Name: SEEADLER
Vessel Model: RAWSON 41
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,654
Come to think of it, that joke is gonna fall flat in any audience!
AlaskaProf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2021, 02:36 PM   #2428
Guru
 
Soo-Valley's Avatar
 
City: Gulf Islands, BC Canada
Vessel Name: Soo Valley
Vessel Model: Grand Banks 36
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 2,005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max1 View Post
Dad-Joke Alert!!!

My family issues

So I've always had a rocky relationship with my brother. But to be fair he was always a little unusual.
When he was 16 he shaved his head and got tattoos all over his face.
When he was 18, he legally changed his name to Radio. He got some plastic surgery done and filed his teeth and became a Krishna.
Then he called me out of the blue and told me he was a woman, and wanted to be referred to as "she" from now on.

I tried to take all this in stride, because he/she was still family and I loved her. But to be honest, it was difficult.
Last month I called her and invited her to my birthday party, hoping to make peace. And she showed up! And I was so proud to introduce her to all my friends. With nothing but love and pride in my voice, I announced, "everyone, this is my trans sister, Radio!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaProf View Post
That joke is gonna fall flat in an audience under 60!
How about this.

I announced, "everyone, this is my trans sister, Tube
__________________
SteveK AKA Soo Valley
You only need one working engine. That is why I have two.
Soo-Valley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2021, 05:14 PM   #2429
Senior Member
 
City: Montgomery
Vessel Name: Choices
Vessel Model: 36 Grand Banks Europa
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 438
Love it.
__________________
36 Grand Banks Europa
Montgomery, TX
Blog: "grandbankschoices"
Choices is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-19-2021, 10:51 PM   #2430
Guru
 
BruceK's Avatar
 
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 11,819
Introducing a friend to another friend :" This is my friend Peter".
Friend to Peter : "Hello Peter. What`s your surname?"
Peter: It`s "File".
My friend: " Oh, Peter File. Do you find that at all difficult?"
__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
BruceK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-19-2021, 11:56 PM   #2431
GFC
Guru
 
GFC's Avatar
 
City: Tri Cities, WA
Vessel Name: Red Stripe
Vessel Model: Monaco Cayman 35' diesel pusher
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4,362
I had to check to make sure my wife didn't post this....

__________________
Mike and Tina
2008 Monaco Camelot 350hp Cummins
1981 Boston Whaler 13'
GFC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2021, 01:08 AM   #2432
Guru
 
BruceK's Avatar
 
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 11,819
With thanks to the Saturday off piste musings of a financial reporting service:
__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
BruceK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2021, 12:22 PM   #2433
Guru
 
Alaskaflyer's Avatar
 
City: Currently hiding out in Smith, NV, USA
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 1,044
Brilliant!
Attached Thumbnails
F5EBFF32-00E6-4F9C-B995-C692CEFDC915.jpeg  
Alaskaflyer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2021, 04:37 PM   #2434
Guru
 
City: Newport, R.I.
Vessel Name: Hippocampus
Vessel Model: Nordic Tug 42
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 1,365
The answer to there’s no possible reason to have a umbrella on a boat.
Hippocampus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-22-2021, 12:22 PM   #2435
Veteran Member
 
City: Didcot UK
Vessel Name: Jarrow Lily
Vessel Model: Island Packet SP Cruiser
Join Date: Jun 2021
Posts: 36
George was depressed and had had enough. Covid, the political situation, climate change, his boat had just sunk, it was all too much.

He drove his car into the garage, sealed the window and door with tape and tuned to his favourite Radio Station. He got into the drivers seat, put the windows down and started the engine.


Two days later a concerned neighbour called the emergency services.


They pulled him out, perfectly OK.


His Tesla battery pack though was completely shot..........................
Jarrow Lily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2021, 10:40 AM   #2436
Guru
 
RonR's Avatar
 
City: Everett
Vessel Name: Triton
Vessel Model: 48' Golden Egg Harbor
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 652
I'm sure a few of you have seen this one before.
"Posted on the for sale board at the marina"

HOW TO SAIL A SAILBOAT.
1. Figure out where you want to go.
2. Whichever way it is, do NOT aim the sailboat in that direction.
3. Aim the sailboat in the some other direction.
4. Trust me, this is the way sail boaters do it.
5. They are heavy drinker.
RonR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2021, 05:40 PM   #2437
Guru
 
BruceK's Avatar
 
City: Sydney
Vessel Name: Sojourn
Vessel Model: Integrity 386
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 11,819
Quote:
Originally Posted by RonR View Post
I'm sure a few of you have seen this one before.
"Posted on the for sale board at the marina"

HOW TO SAIL A SAILBOAT.
1. Figure out where you want to go.
2. Whichever way it is, do NOT aim the sailboat in that direction.
3. Aim the sailboat in the some other direction.
4. Trust me, this is the way sail boaters do it.
5. They are heavy drinker.
Mmm,but if it`s not upwind.....
Anyway, a somewhat weary husband, and wife, retire to bed. Wife is unexpectedly amorous and invites husband to "whisper something dirty" into her ear. Husband complies,whispering " kitchen, bathroom, lounge room ...."
__________________
BruceK
2005 Integrity 386 "Sojourn"
Sydney Australia
BruceK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2021, 09:55 AM   #2438
Guru
 
backinblue's Avatar
 
City: Stratford, CT
Vessel Name: Blue Moon
Vessel Model: Mainship Pilot 355
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,851
I found this free movie on Amazon Prime recently. It's lighthearted fun and should give you a chuckle or two while having a nautical theme. LMK if you liked it.

https://www.amazon.com/All-at-Sea-Br...8197135&sr=8-5
__________________
“In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
backinblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2021, 09:39 AM   #2439
Enigma
 
RT Firefly's Avatar
 
City: Slicker?
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 14,942
Greetings,


__________________
RTF
RT Firefly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2021, 12:56 PM   #2440
Art
Guru
 
Art's Avatar
 
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 11,510
Quote:
Originally Posted by RT Firefly View Post
Greetings,


You should... Never show your cards! We all... Have cards!!
Art is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Nautical Humor skipperdude Harbor Chat 0 05-19-2011 12:37 PM

» Trawler Port Captains
Port Captains are TF volunteers who can serve as local guides or assist with local arrangements and information. Search below to locate Port Captains near your destination. To learn more about this program read here: TF Port Captain Program





All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:16 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2006 - 2012