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Old 06-04-2021, 09:00 PM   #2321
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Not sure I get this but someone will:
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Old 06-04-2021, 09:56 PM   #2322
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Greetings,
Mr. BK. THANKS!!! Deep and droll on so many levels.
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Old 06-05-2021, 12:02 PM   #2323
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Priceless!
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Old 06-07-2021, 05:50 AM   #2324
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Mid 1960s this musta been. Montreal's Mirabel Airport had just been completed, and Air Newfoundland had applied for landing rights and been granted them. “AirNewf” had made enuff money doing bush flying with things like Noorduyn Norsemans and surplus PBYs left over from Hitler's war to lease a Boeing 707 and inaugurate service from St.John'sMontreal.

On the inaugural flight co-pilot is at the controls. He's getting uneasy. The cloud cover is sorta 9/10 and he is desperately scanning for a hole in the clouds so he can do a VFR approach. And THERE! - just there - is a tiny hole with Mirabel clearly visible through it.

“ROIT”, sez the captain, “Oi 'ave 'er!”. He cranks the aircraft into a tight descending turn, slips through the hole and gets himself lined up for the landing. With the consummate skill of a bushpilot he sets the undercarriage down just where grass becomes tarmac, throws on full reverse thrust, and stands on the brakes with all his might. And, begorrah, his nosewheel stops just where tarmac becomes grass!

Still shaking, the Captain leans back, wipes the sweat from his brow and sez: "Jaisus, Mary'n'Josef! That's the shartest ronway Oi've EVER seen!

Co-pilot looks out his side window and sez: “Oh-ahr — bot look 'ow WIDE it is!”
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Old 06-08-2021, 01:56 AM   #2325
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FF`s story above reminds me of an aborted landing flying into (?) the country town Deniliquin in NSW one foggy morning on a Fokker 27. The landing approach seemed normal, until I looked out the window and saw, parallel to the aircraft, a fence, with the runway,also parallel, beyond the fence. At that point, the Fokker began clawing it`s way skywards and a pilot, also Irish sounding, announced "we had failed to make contact with the ground" and would make another attempt. For some reason, the experience remains in memory.
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Old 06-08-2021, 10:37 AM   #2326
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"Failed to make contact with the ground." Lol.

On my several trips up and down western Canada to Alaska, I was forced to land almost perpendicular to the runway twice due to strong crosswinds. Once in Lethbridge with 30-40 knot winds blowing across the plains during an otherwise beautiful evening, when they had one of two runways closed for some reason - touched down in the grass, rolled across the runway and came to a stop in the grass. It was late and there was no one there to notice. Once at Fort Nelson which has a verrry wide runway as a former RCAF base. I remember the tower operator saying something smart alec on the radio which was unusual for NavCanada folks
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Old 06-08-2021, 05:26 PM   #2327
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Urine Test

Tree trunk involved.
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Old 06-08-2021, 07:28 PM   #2328
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Co-pilot looks out his side window and sez: “Oh-ahr — bot look 'ow WIDE it is!”
Fred, we had an old Navy cartoon with that same theme
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Old 06-10-2021, 11:58 PM   #2329
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A friend was travelling in sheep farming country by coach. He was sat next to a man who would delight in counting and pronouncing the precise number of sheep in each mob of sheep in the paddocks as the coach passed by at highway speed. Amazed by this feat he asked the man how he did it. "Easy" he replied, "I count the legs and divide by four".
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Old 06-11-2021, 04:21 PM   #2330
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Just reading the posts about measuring air draft. Quite the topic, 18 posts and counting. Anyway it reminded me of a story about a physics test question which asked how the student would calculate the height if a skyscraper given a barometer. The conventional correct answer involves the density of air, difference in top to bottom atmospheric pressure and an equation to solve.

One student, there always an unconventional one, provided several answers:

> Measure the length of the barometer and use it as a ruler, marking off the length on the side of the building until reaching the top.

> Tie a string to the barometer, lower it over the building side until it was at the bottom and measure the length of string.

> Drop the barometer over the side and measure time to crash. Use Newton’s laws to calculate distance travelled.

> But the best answer was to go into the basement, find the building superintendent and tell him that he can have this shiny new barometer if he’ll tell the height of the building.

A+
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Old 06-15-2021, 07:56 AM   #2331
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Greetings,


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Old 06-15-2021, 08:08 AM   #2332
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FF View Post
Mid 1960s this musta been. Montreal's Mirabel Airport had just been completed, and Air Newfoundland had applied for landing rights and been granted them. “AirNewf” had made enuff money doing bush flying with things like Noorduyn Norsemans and surplus PBYs left over from Hitler's war to lease a Boeing 707 and inaugurate service from St.John'sMontreal.

On the inaugural flight co-pilot is at the controls. He's getting uneasy. The cloud cover is sorta 9/10 and he is desperately scanning for a hole in the clouds so he can do a VFR approach. And THERE! - just there - is a tiny hole with Mirabel clearly visible through it.

“ROIT”, sez the captain, “Oi 'ave 'er!”. He cranks the aircraft into a tight descending turn, slips through the hole and gets himself lined up for the landing. With the consummate skill of a bushpilot he sets the undercarriage down just where grass becomes tarmac, throws on full reverse thrust, and stands on the brakes with all his might. And, begorrah, his nosewheel stops just where tarmac becomes grass!

Still shaking, the Captain leans back, wipes the sweat from his brow and sez: "Jaisus, Mary'n'Josef! That's the shartest ronway Oi've EVER seen!

Co-pilot looks out his side window and sez: “Oh-ahr — bot look 'ow WIDE it is!”
Ah yes the Newf bashing will continue.

But I have a REAL Newf story. Said person was standing in his back yard and observed and object falling from the sky. Called the authorities and it was determined that the only thing overhead at that time was the morning New York to London flight, two hours underway, operated by my employer. After some discussion with maintenance and dispatch it was determined that the most conservative course of action was to have the aircraft return to New York for inspections. Nothing was found missing, nor was anything found on the ground.

The rest of the story was that I was on call that day and was summoned to the airport asap to take the airplane to London as the crew was no longer legal for the 7+ hour flight. So we got those poor people there, albeit 10 hours late.....
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Old 07-06-2021, 05:46 AM   #2333
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Try this to start your day

You're at your marina and you see someone sitting all by themselves on a bench overlooking the docks. Stroll over, quietly sit next to them and wait for a few seconds, then slowly turn and say in a low voice......
DID YOU BRING THE MONEY?
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Old 07-06-2021, 05:58 AM   #2334
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You're at your marina and you see someone sitting all by themselves on a bench overlooking the docks. Stroll over, quietly sit next to them and wait for a few seconds, then slowly turn and say in a low voice......
DID YOU BRING THE MONEY?
Yes...

Did you bring the boat?
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Old 07-08-2021, 06:34 PM   #2335
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Yes...

Did you bring the boat?
Dear Mods...

For days [basically since I posted this quote] I've not be receiving any email updates from TF. TF is not at all in my junk or trash.

Please rectify if possible.

Thanks!

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Old 07-08-2021, 06:42 PM   #2336
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Dear Mods...

For days [basically since I posted this quote] I've not be receiving any email updates from TF. TF is not at all in my junk or trash.

Please rectify if possible.

Thanks!

Art
Art I noticed you were not getting any replies either since post 2334
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Old 07-08-2021, 10:24 PM   #2337
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Art I noticed you were not getting any replies either since post 2334
Soo - TY for mentioning that.

Interesting... the only way I can converse [post] on TF is to look up a thread. In that, recent rest of posts on this and other threads were/are not reaching my email inbox. To locate your post above... I had to search and link in.

Have no idea why??? Hope the Mods can rectify. Seems a similar item happened to me a year or so ago. As I recall a Mod fixed it.

Being a pleasure boat addict from childhood... TF threads give me considerable mental relaxation from a full array of business thinking/doing and family thangs.

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Old 07-09-2021, 06:25 AM   #2338
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Hard to fool

Farmers would use a small county road to access their fields and thus, would drive their tractors and other farm vehicles up and down the road without incidents. One afternoon a farmer was using the country road when a young state trooper stopped him and was about to write the farmer a citation.
"Sir, you have an unregister vehicle on this country road, and that's illegal."
The trooper said.
"Officer, we use this county road all the time and have been for years."
Said the farmer.
As the farmer was trying to explain himself, the young trooper kept on waving his hand back and forth, across himself, swatting away flies.
"Ahhhh.. trooper, those flies are harmless. They usually fly around the backend of the horses in the barn."
Said the farmer.
"Are you calling me a horse's ass?" Yelled the young trooper.
The farmer looked at the trooper and said, " No sir..... but those flies are hard to fool."
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Old 07-22-2021, 08:23 PM   #2339
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Doesn`t rate its own thread, not sure it`s Humour, but worth a look, cockatoos opening garbage/trash wheely bins. It`s said the sulphur crested cockatoos are copying the ibis (aka "bin chicken).
https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/...urbs/100306786
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Old 07-26-2021, 09:26 PM   #2340
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