How does getting older compare to expectations?

[BandB]

Wifey B: Diver Ted posted an interest post in humor regarding old age. Just made me think. Might be funny and might be helpful to others if we post how things are at our current age, even those who are very young, vs. how we thought it would be at that age. Might look at it from different ages too. For instance when I was a child, when I was in my 20's and 30's, when I was in my 40's and 50's and for those still older, when I was in my 60's and 70's.

If you can and feel free to, hit on both the physical and emotional aspects. As hard as it might be, try to ignore the pandemic impact. Hubby and I will post ours later and we'll make separate posts for this.

 

[cardude01]

I’m 57, so not “old” in my opinion, but I’m already experiencing some nagging memory issues, mostly coming up with names that I should be able to pull up quicker.

Physically I can tell I’ve gotten weaker. We recently did a battery change on the boat and I brought my son for the heavy lifting (and because my back was hurting). I’m not sure I could have done that battery job even if my back was OK, because they are in a spot where you can’t get above them to lift. I did it myself 7 years ago, but the strength decline in 7 years has been noticeable enough to worry. I need to get back to working out on weights or maybe surfing and swimming like I once did. My son is a recreational kick boxer and he thinks I should get into that, but I’m not sure that’s what I want to do. Especially during covid.

My current work out is mostly walking, usually 3-6 miles a day either outside or on the treadmill, and I do a little light weight lifting but not enough to make much difference obviously.

 

[AKDoug]

Crawling into tight spaces to work on things is a little more difficult, lying over the sharp edge of an opening leaves sore spots for a while. I find I take more time getting things closer to perfect when working on projects, paying someone else to do it doesn't enter my mind.

Overall, I super enjoy my boating, perhaps more than ever but with less of an agenda and in general a more laid back experience. I make an effort to get off the boat and get some exercise, but with the mindset that it's easier to get hurt and getting hurt sucks. I don't climb like I used to, it's hard on my knees coming back down

 

[Insequent]

Compared to expectations? In summary - not great, but much better than the alternative. I quite enjoy still being alive!

Similar to CarDude, batteries are a good indication. About 18 months ago I managed to remove some 60kg batteries from the boat and lift them into my SUV. A month ago, and now over 70, I moved some that were 46kg each and I was glad they were no heavier. Not sure I could do the 60kg ones now. And yes, names and the like aren't instant recall but mostly still reasonably quick. Knees from old (like 1973) sports injury catching up with me too, but mostly "just" wrt loss of strength, easily measured by carrying stuff up stairs.

But still easily single hand my 50' boat so life's good.

 

[FWT]

 

[FWT]

Expectations?

One side of my genetic input lives long and is active until quite old. And then just sort of decides they have had enough and lay down. The other side develops all sorts of issues leading to a shorter life span. I had no expectations, more like questions as to which side of the genetic pool I favored. Turns out more like the long lived side.

In my 30's I would work long hours in the office, then come home and spend hours on home improvement projects and the like. I can't do that anymore. If its hard heavy labor about a half day is all I should be doing, or pay the price the next day.

But given my genes, I'm pretty happy to be able to put in 4-6 hours of hard labor at my age. I'm not complaining, or bragging either. Its all better than it could be. I'm on the right side of the sod and can do more than I should do.

Anyone on this site has been graced with blessings. Me too. Count them and be grateful.

 

[O C Diver]

I have some health and aging issues that I deal with. In the last couple of years I seem to be more focused on not injuring myself when I do things. As a kid I use to drop into chairs or jump on to the couch. Now I lower myself. It's rare that a week goes by without bleeding. Skin has gotten thin and tears or punctures easily. Most of the time I have no idea how I did it. Memory isn't as sharp as it used to be. Lost 2 friends to cancer in the last month. So I'm not complaining.

Ride my bicycle 12 miles most days in less than an hour. When cruising, I try to walk atleast an hour every day. Will be leaving on the boat April 1st for Ottawa and then Lake Superior. Back to Florida sometime in November. So I have absolutely no right to complain! I'm living the dream until the wife retires or I break. I see the glass as half full, until I knock it over.

Ted

 

[BandB]

Wifey B: As a child I never expected to even live to my current age of 43-almost, in June. My parents were in horrible health in their 40's. Then late teens, before meeting hubby at 21, I thought of people in their 40's as being so old but at my age now I still think of myself as if I was in my 20's. Now in my 20's and 30's I got more optimistic and thought I'd beaten this whole aging thing. While that didn't turn out to be true, I still feel amazingly good for my age and better than I ever expected. Perhaps the key was starting off with low expectations. Then in my late teens, I didn't realize at the time the dangers I faced. As I look back, I realize how lucky I am to escape unscathed. Until the age of 23 or so, I knew nothing about a healthy lifestyle. Glad I did learn.

 

[Portage_Bay]

At 70 I don't have the strength and stamina I used to have. I still do what I want and need to do but do it in shorter bursts. This year I completely rebuilt my steering including all new lines. Built a small workshop. Bucked up and stacked a big fir that blew down. Spread a load of crushed rock. No more long days. But I get it done.

I got a big wake up call in my early 60s during a drill boarding the life raft from the water while wearing an immersion suit. I used to be the one who could board the raft first unassisted then pull the others in. My upper body strength had diminished enough that I found I needed to be pulled aboard. Humbling but good to learn in a drill rather than an emergency.

Arthritis is gaining on me. My hands are getting weaker and I needed a hip replacement 3 yrs ago.

Overall I consider myself healthy and fit for my age. I hope and expect to have 5 to 10 strong years in front of me. I define strong as being able to do most of what I want and need to do without a lot of assistance. It will just take a little longer each year.

 

[BandB]

Hubby B: Under duress and coerced by the woman laying beside me.

My father died at 59 and my mother died at 68 but encountered major health issues starting at the age of 54. So, my mother's health was bad when I was in high school and my father died when I was in college. As they had me late, both my parents were deceased by the time I was in my late 20's. I held out hope because I didn't have the lifestyle contributing factors they did as both smoked and my father was an alcoholic.

Now, I'm 51 and I feel far better than expected at this age. I am seeing signs on the basketball and tennis courts of some aging, mainly muscles and joints. Respiration is still excellent.

Now, as I look back, I uncover another threat that existed in my life. As a child and up until meeting my wife when I was 30, I suffered from undiagnosed depression. Had I not met her, I don't think I'd be nearly as healthy as I am now. Combine depression and it's impact as a negative and take away the active lifestyle with a younger and very energetic wife and I suspect that changes the equation dramatically. I'm in far better physical and emotional health today than I ever imagined. I feared aging.

Not only have I benefitted by spending a lot of time with younger people, I think now having older role models has helped my outlook on the next 20 years greatly. The couple that my wife and I adopted as our parents are now 66 and 68. A couple that moved with us from NC are 66 and 65. A couple of captains we're close to are 64 and 62.

Then this forum helps. We see so many active older persons, still enjoying boating and life in general, or at least pretending well that they do. It's great to see people doing things at 70 and beyond that we hope to be doing at those ages. For that, I thank all of you for sharing.

I think at some point I stopped worrying about aging, or maybe I just put it out of mind and pretended not to think about it. I'm not sure, but for some reason getting older no longer seems as daunting as it once did. Maybe it's all because I appreciate life much more than I did prior to 30. I look forward to 10 and 20 years from today and life with my wife and our extended family. I can't say that at 25-28, I really looked forward to life in my 30's and 40's, much less in my 60's and 70's.

 

[Nancy n Larry]

I seem to have longevity genes in my family. My grandparents lived into their late 90’s and one to be 103. My parents are both 97. Not sure what this means for me as a healthy 65 year old. My Dad recently told me if I wanted to do something, do it now because once the 70’s hit, you begin to slow down. I feel as if I’m 18, but my body doesn’t agree. It sucks when it tells me that. I can still work hard, but not as long. Getting up and down, into small spaces is a chore. I’ve also noticed that my hands aren’t as strong. I have an enormous desire and expectation to be able to do the things I did when I was younger. I don’t know if it’s lack of motivation or my physical limitations that keeps from doing some of those tasks. It is a constant argument between my mind and body. Anyhow, my husband (74) and I are on to our 2nd trawler, we intend to enjoy life and live it to its fullest. An “old” friend once told me, “Old age ain’t for wimps”, and boy was he right. I ain’t no wimp. Attitude is everything.

 

[ktdtx]

It's rare that a week goes by without bleeding. Skin has gotten thin and tears or punctures easily.

Yup--I think of it as "springing a leak". Doesn't heal as quickly either.


Nowhere near as productive in a day as I used to be--often when half the day is gone and I still have my day's "to-do" list undone I wonder ......what happened.

 

[FWT]

I guess just to shift a bit away from the potentially morbid topic of health and life expectancy, there is a bit of a surprise in one aspect. Perhaps better said, an aspect I didn't expect but should have.

If you stop and think about it, the structure of life is divided into 3 parts. In the first part you are born, grow up, learn things and how to do things. All of that is in preparation to leave the nest. You then leave the nest in the second part. You build a career, in most cases marry and have kids, and so forth. And then finally you move on and into the third part of retirement.

The transition from part 1 to part 2 takes years to prepare for. Years to learn stuff, and years to prepare mentally for the different mindset of self reliance vs. reliance on parents and others. How well you prepare has a bearing on how well you make out in Part 2. We have all seen people who "get stuck" in making that transition. They can't shift to self-reliance well. They avoid the change by extending school for no good reason other than to stick in the cocoon of being provided for, and fear of flying from the comfortable nest. Or they just don't train to fly well, and crash.

It turns out that the shift to Part 3 is more complicated than I expected. In Part 2 you accumulate a lot of responsibilities, and lots of others depend on you, in both work and life. At a time when the shift to the next part has a lot to do with handing off and shucking off those responsibilities, each one of those ... MANY of those ... has its own issues to work through to do this smoothly and gracefully.

Yeah, you "can" just hit a date, cut cords and on a magic date just move forward with a fresh focus on "Me / Us". But is that really what you want to do? Really? Complicating things, each of the business and personal issues has its own timeline if one does each thing well. In the end, maybe one just can't do them all as smoothly as one would prefer.

Its just an issue I'd point out to those who are approaching this but have not really hit the point. It ain't as simple for some folks as others. I am learning retirement planning has much more involved than getting financial affairs in order for the change. Plan for the rest of stuff too, and to the degree it involves others be sure they too are doing the things needed for the change.

For those here, we probably know the answer to one pretty important issue: what do you want to DO in that Third Part, in retirement. For us, for the most part we have answered it: go cruising. But we all know others who just don't have an answer, and they just rot quickly sitting on the sofa all day watching daytime TV. That seems to shorten life and happiness quickly.

The complexity of this transition surprised me. It shouldn't have.

 

[BandB]

I am learning retirement planning has much more involved than getting financial affairs in order for the change. Plan for the rest of stuff too, and to the degree it involves others be sure they too are doing the things needed for the change.

For those here, we probably know the answer to one pretty important issue: what do you want to DO in that Third Part, in retirement. For us, for the most part we have answered it: go cruising. But we all know others who just don't have an answer, and they just rot quickly sitting on the sofa all day watching daytime TV. That seems to shorten life and happiness quickly.

The complexity of this transition surprised me. It shouldn't have.

Wifey B: Hallelujah.

We did dream together of retirement and even reached semi sooner than expected. We have so many things we love to do that we'll never get around to them all. However, I know couples and have older friends who never thought beyond working. They worked so hard, they didn't develop hobbies. I remember asking someone, "Well, what do you enjoy doing?" Answer was, "I liked my job." I asked what else and there was silence. If you like golf, then what when your back goes? If you like basketball, what about the day you can't keep up with the 20 year olds anymore? If you like to boat, what when it becomes too difficult? If you like to RV, what happens when you no longer feel comfy driving one?

If you don't mentally have a long, long list, make one, maybe in writing since your memory may worsen. Do what if's. We have older friends who love gardening and home beautification. They are now easing back and instructing as much as doing. However, they love to walk the neighborhood and talk to others about their flowers and shrubs and pre-pandemic, there seemed to be someone having a garden or home show all the time and they'd find them, and they love just driving around and looking and going to the garden store and spending time. We've even gotten them into sites online they enjoy.

Think of an insurance plan. When I can't do this, I want to do that.

Sadly, I had a friend whose father finally was forced to retire at 79 due to knee and hip replacements. He had come to value himself by his work as an aviation engine quality control auditor. Now, in his mind, he had no value. He no longer felt productive. He'd never developed any hobby. Don't let yourself be him.

 

[Group9]

For me, I'm finding out that my sixties is where a lifetime of physical fitness is starting to pay off, much more than it did in my twenties and thirties.

All the financial planning for retirement in the world does you no good, if you are too unhealthy to enjoy your retirement.

But, like investing, while some level of physical fitness can be acquired later in life, it sure is a lot easier to start doing it when you are young.

 

[lwarden]

Interesting thread topic as I've been thinking about this much more these days.

I'm not sure I ever gave getting old much thought till the past several years when both parents passed, each in their 90's. I watched them enjoy a long and fairly adventurous retirement and a steady slow down in their late 80's. My dad made it to his last year sharp as a tack till a multitude of strokes took much of his phenomenal memory away. Mom wasn't so lucky and had dementia for the last 8 years, it was hard to watch. Hope I take after more of my dad's side, but time will tell.

At 58 I feel pretty good and still remain active. Tomorrow we head off to Mammoth where I can still ski the same double black diamond runs I did in my teens and twenties. But I feel the effect of aging, arthritis in my right hand and more difficulty crawling around engine rooms. I gave up running and honestly am not keeping up on my exercise routine. Days seem shorter and I don't seem to get the things done I used to and that I find frustrating.

What I see though is that 58 is very close to 60, which isn't that far from 70, and the years are flying by now. A friend one said "life is like a roll of toilet paper, the first few sheets on the roll spins slowly, but towards the end as you are getting to the core that roll spins awfully fast". I really feel that roll spinning fast these days but I have so much to be thankful I don't dwell on it......too much...

 

[MYTraveler]

In my case, health remains fine at 65. But my interests have changed radically. In my younger days, I loved camping, whitewater river rafting, beer, steak and ports cars. I haven't camped in years (and have no real desire), no longer think of rafting, drink far less, but much more wine than beer (and this is evolving rapidly) and enjoy a far more varied diet (although my interest in grilling has greatly intensified). I used to want a Ferrari, and put down a deposit to get on the waiting list for a new one but declined the chance (and got my deposit back) when my turn finally came. In the meantime, I had purchased a 911 Porche, but quickly sold it. Now, I have zero interest in any sports car (although my wife's Tesla is awfully fast, and so is my Range Rover (the Supercharged model). Very recently, I purchased a 2022 (ie, radically different model than anything available before) Jeep Wagoneer and was disappointed that it wasn't even available with fake wood trim (I still intent to find a way to get it wrapped). It has far less power than my RR, but from my current perspective, more than adequate.

I trace the change in my priorities to having raised 3 children, the oldest of whom (28) just got married. In their youth, I found things like Indian Princess activities far more interesting than a weekend of river rafting, and Pine Wood Derby cars far more desirable than real sports cars. Developing my daughters' character was far more fulfilling than any of my prior interests ever could be.

The real interesting question is how my interests will be affected by that the fact that all three of them are now grown and out of school.

 

[ScottC]

I am nearly 63. Before I contracted Covid-19 in January 2021, I could easily say that I felt at least 10 years younger...or more. Gym 3-4x per week (weights & aerobics). Felt physically great. It took me ~6 weeks to get over most of my Covid symptoms, though I think my recovery of smell & taste has, to this day, only been about 75%...and my resting heart rate still seems to be 10-15% faster. I've never thought of this as "Long Covid" compared to what I read the usual Long Covid sufferers are going through, but I am beginning to wonder... The relevant point I want to make is that it seems Covid has pushed the fast-forward button on how old I feel. I feel like I have aged 10 years in a single year. My gym attendance has been sporadic, at best, since Covid. I hope, if I can find the energy to build up more regular attendance, I will manage to reverse some of this!


Edit: Re-reading the orginal post, I guess my comments above aren't precisely on-topic. Covid was never within the realm of my expectations!

 

[FF]

At almost 80 I find I can be more selfish , do less and read more for enjoyment.

Still have project list to keep busy till 100 tho.

Biggest hassle will be selling off a garage full of boat "stuff".

 

[alormaria]

I'm fine.



Really.

 

[Dougcole]

I turn 57 in 3 days.


Physically, I feel pretty good. I've been a runner for the last 12 to 15 years and I had my highest mileage year ever in 2021, 1,300 miles. But I have gotten slower for sure, I ran a sub 20 5K when i was 50, I don't think I could do that now. Biggest issue I'm facing now is bursitis in one of my shoulders, I can't seem to shake it.


My wife and I run our own rep business which we started in 1990. We are having one of our biggest years ever in 2022, which should be good for the IRA but the downside is we are overloaded with work, to the point where I am getting burned out. I'm ready to retire, frankly, but we are a couple of years away from a financial standpoint. My work related stress level is the highest it has ever been, to the point where I think it may be having an effect on my mental and physical health. It's also not great for our relationship, though that is very strong. I'm just gritting my teeth and trying to get through.


We are planning on making our normally month long summer Bahamas trip (we work remotely when over there) into two months this year. It may cost us some income, but I really don't care.

 

[Group9]

I turn 57 in 3 days.


Physically, I feel pretty good. I've been a runner for the last 12 to 15 years and I had my highest mileage year ever in 2021, 1,300 miles. But I have gotten slower for sure, I ran a sub 20 5K when i was 50, I don't think I could do that now. Biggest issue I'm facing now is bursitis in one of my shoulders, I can't seem to shake it.


My wife and I run our own rep business which we started in 1990. We are having one of our biggest years ever in 2022, which should be good for the IRA but the downside is we are overloaded with work, to the point where I am getting burned out. I'm ready to retire, frankly, but we are a couple of years away from a financial standpoint. My work related stress level is the highest it has ever been, to the point where I think it may be having an effect on my mental and physical health. It's also not great for our relationship, though that is very strong. I'm just gritting my teeth and trying to get through.


We are planning on making our normally month long summer Bahamas trip (we work remotely when over there) into two months this year. It may cost us some income, but I really don't care.

I had been on high blood pressure medication for years before I retired at 52. Within two months (on our Bahamas cruise that we left on the day after I retired) my blood pressure had returned to normal and I chucked my hypertension meds.

I was a big runner, too, at the time with a five mile, forty minute workout pace, so it didn't make any sense that it was my physical health causing it. But, sure enough, it was just job related stress, and when the stress left, so did the high blood pressure.

 

[BandB]

I am nearly 63. Before I contracted Covid-19 in January 2021, I could easily say that I felt at least 10 years younger...or more. Gym 3-4x per week (weights & aerobics). Felt physically great. It took me ~6 weeks to get over most of my Covid symptoms, though I think my recovery of smell & taste has, to this day, only been about 75%...and my resting heart rate still seems to be 10-15% faster. I've never thought of this as "Long Covid" compared to what I read the usual Long Covid sufferers are going through, but I am beginning to wonder... The relevant point I want to make is that it seems Covid has pushed the fast-forward button on how old I feel. I feel like I have aged 10 years in a single year. My gym attendance has been sporadic, at best, since Covid. I hope, if I can find the energy to build up more regular attendance, I will manage to reverse some of this!


Edit: Re-reading the orginal post, I guess my comments above aren't precisely on-topic. Covid was never within the realm of my expectations!

Wifey B: Covid wasn't but was serious illness? Likely not, but it hit. Health declines are generally not linear but more like shelves with some form of acute exacerbation leading to the next shelf.

 

[BandB]

I turn 57 in 3 days.


Physically, I feel pretty good. I've been a runner for the last 12 to 15 years and I had my highest mileage year ever in 2021, 1,300 miles. But I have gotten slower for sure, I ran a sub 20 5K when i was 50, I don't think I could do that now. Biggest issue I'm facing now is bursitis in one of my shoulders, I can't seem to shake it.


My wife and I run our own rep business which we started in 1990. We are having one of our biggest years ever in 2022, which should be good for the IRA but the downside is we are overloaded with work, to the point where I am getting burned out. I'm ready to retire, frankly, but we are a couple of years away from a financial standpoint. My work related stress level is the highest it has ever been, to the point where I think it may be having an effect on my mental and physical health. It's also not great for our relationship, though that is very strong. I'm just gritting my teeth and trying to get through.


We are planning on making our normally month long summer Bahamas trip (we work remotely when over there) into two months this year. It may cost us some income, but I really don't care.

Wifey B: Well, your recognize the work stress and impact on your life, but now the hard part, you must do something about reducing the load and year round, not just for a summer month extra.

 

[Group9]

What got me to retire, was looking at the obituaries every day, and seeing people younger than me in there, and wondering, "What did they think they were going to be doing next year?"

At some point, you have to look at the law of diminishing return. Is putting more money in the bank, worth the years you will be trading to do that?

 

[bowball]

My friend was a top international rower (Olympian, world teams, won head of the Charles, US and international masters races so many times, dozens, that I don’t even know how many) and in my biased view the fittest aerobic guy on the planet for his age. His age group world record at 65 on the erg would have gotten him on probably any college team.

But extreme fitness doesn’t protect against everything. He almost died at age 71 of a heart attack (while rowing, the second of two workouts that day, but fortunately there was a doctor in a trailing coaches launch) and did die a few years later at age 74 from a progressive disease.

He was an amazing guy, beloved by all.

My point is, please let’s not take our health for granted even when superbly fit.

 

[Group9]

My friend was a top international rower (Olympian, world teams, won head of the Charles, US and international masters races so many times, dozens, that I don’t even know how many) and in my biased view the fittest aerobic guy on the planet for his age. His age group world record at 65 on the erg would have gotten him on probably any college team.

But extreme fitness doesn’t protect against anything. He almost died at age 71 of a heart attack (while rowing, the second of two workouts that day, but fortunately there was a doctor in a trailing coaches launch) and did die a few years later at age 74 from a progressive disease.

He was an amazing guy, beloved by all.

My point is, please let’s not take our health for granted.

One of my best friends was in the kitchen cooking breakfast one morning, (65 years old, just retired, in great shape), and collapsed when one leg just gave out from under him, with no warning. He though he had just had a stroke.

He was diagnosed with inoperable brain tumors. He went from feeling great to dead in six weeks. You just never know what's coming and next year may not be around for any of us.

 

[Nancy n Larry]

One of my best friends was in the kitchen cooking breakfast one morning, (65 years old, just retired, in great shape), and collapsed when one leg just gave out from under him, with no warning. He though he had just had a stroke.

He was diagnosed with inoperable brain tumors. He went from feeling great to dead in six weeks. You just never know what's coming and next year may not be around for any of us.

And that is why, as we age, we must live life with no regrets! I don’t want to go to my grave with a large bank account, poor health, without realizing some of my dreams. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. Live life as if it’s your last day on earth. Love your family and friends with wild abandon. Hope and pray for the best! That’s why we bought the new boat.

 

[leeman]

I'm fine.



Really.

No you're not.


Sigmund

 

[La Mer]

I am nearly 63. Before I contracted Covid-19 in January 2021, I could easily say that I felt at least 10 years younger...or more.


!

Our mutual friends you met last October told me that in their view you both were in your fifties ; Don’t change your habit ? , Keep Up !