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Old 05-29-2022, 10:10 AM   #61
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FWIW, people with ADHD can concentrate and focus. What you describe is typical of people diagnosed with ADHD. Here's a little snipet from an online site:

Children and adults with ADHD find it very hard to focus on boring mundane tasks, yet can focus exceptionally well on activities that interest them. In fact, when they are engaged in a task that is interesting to them, they focus so well that it is called hyperfocus.
Wifey B: I understand. And we are different than those with full ADHD. Now, opposite, not. We all are on some forms of sliding scales of so many things. We tend toward ADHD without being fully there. I've taught kids with ADHD and as with all kids, they were all slightly different, always dangerous and wrong to throw a blanket over any group. I've also seen hyperfocus to the exclusion of all else. As with anyone, the key is helping capitalize on skills and work around any issues.

Now, I loved school, all the way to doctorate. Hubby, loved school in his way, everything except the classes. He loved the music department and the choir and theater and sports and playing bridge in the Student Union. Even a subject that interests him, sitting down in a classroom for it for over an hour is horrible. Had online college existed when he went, I'm sure he would have preferred that route. I think he learned all my subjects I took from just laying in bed with me while I studied and helping me study for tests.
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Old 05-30-2022, 06:28 AM   #62
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Wifey B: I understand. And we are different than those with full ADHD. Now, opposite, not. We all are on some forms of sliding scales of so many things. We tend toward ADHD without being fully there. I've taught kids with ADHD and as with all kids, they were all slightly different, always dangerous and wrong to throw a blanket over any group. I've also seen hyperfocus to the exclusion of all else. As with anyone, the key is helping capitalize on skills and work around any issues.

Now, I loved school, all the way to doctorate. Hubby, loved school in his way, everything except the classes. He loved the music department and the choir and theater and sports and playing bridge in the Student Union. Even a subject that interests him, sitting down in a classroom for it for over an hour is horrible. Had online college existed when he went, I'm sure he would have preferred that route. I think he learned all my subjects I took from just laying in bed with me while I studied and helping me study for tests.
I think you meant lying in bed, then again maybe not! I agree that people are unique and the ADHD blanket gets thown over many because it's easy to do. Medication is used too quickly and frequently to try and make all kids the "same". However, in some cases it snuffs out the brilliance that makes some kids bored with routine lessons.
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Old 05-30-2022, 08:59 AM   #63
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Won’t enter into conversations about ADHD, dyslexia, executive function disorder or the like. There’s too large a discrepancy between between the scientific parlance and lay. There’s too many distortions by folks including practitioners. Both parents, school systems and others have intrinsic bias which distorts their thinking. Without a understanding of functional neuro anatomy such conversations rapidly degenerate into opinions.

Returning to entering th long term cruising or live aboard life. At times my wife’s gut thinking exceeds my analytical approach. On paper and in conversations with our financial advisors we could sell all our dirt based assets buy or build a much more expensive boat not out live our resources and even leave something for the kids. She said “I’ll follow you anywhere but I want a house to return to.”

She was right!!!

Before leaving we placed everything on autopilot. I mean everything. Established a system whereby asset management did not involve our active participation. Yes, whenever we had time and secure internet we would review things and discuss them with our land based team but this was at our choosing. Taxes, investments, dirt dwelling even things like holiday cards and gifts where set up in advance and required only biannual remote input and review. Of course financials and legal were reviewed more frequently but again at no fixed required time. Rather in accordance to our desire and schedule. I sold a business and it’s associated real estate remotely 18m after spitting up the anchor. I did have to return to a US protectorate but even that was done because it was more convenient. One issue is the difficulty in setting up bank accounts in many foreign companies. We established systems to avoid that need. The other issue is mail. We set up several different receivers of our mail among a mail service, family and our team of advisors.

In short with forethought you can set up things so you have NO obligations to respond to ANY land based concerns in a timely manner. You have complete freedom.

During this decade the difference in this approach and that of those who maintained consulting businesses or management of their real estate or other assets was most apparent.

Our only debt burden was a boat loan. Our ROI exceeded interest and with tax benefits it made sense. We held “dry powder” to buy out the loan if things changed which they did. So at that point became debt free.

My wife fell off the top of the ladder while the boat was on the hard. She healed but balance just a wee bit off. Enough she was no longer safe on the foredeck on passage or when it got bumpy. Having a house which was not used as a rental property was huge. Simply left the boat and moved into the house while she healed. Then when it became apparent our international cruising was over sold that one and got this one. Having a house as a fallback was the right decision for us. We have things we inherited, antiques and other possessions that have too much meaning and value that there’s no way we would dispose of them. Long term storage is risky and a ripoff. Also while cruising it’s important to take periodic breaks. We timed them for Xmas and school breaks to make the most of family time. A string of rented condos doesn’t offer those opportunities.
We did sell our house when we went off cruising. Lived on the boat as the new house was built. That allowed that house to be built to allow
Aging in place. All doorways, bathrooms and other details will allow us to never need to see the inside of a SNIF or NH.
Security in our absence for months and months
Self running. With solar and geothermal set the temp at 68 regardless if we’re there or not. All systems are monitored remotely and intervention if needed occurs in ou absence or even involvement.
I love to fly fish so got a knock down grandfathered in a town/state park with a stocked pond 35’ from my back door. In short pick or build a house you want to live in for the rest of your life. Until then we repetitively moved as need or desire dictated. This was a one and done.
I under people are different. Their needs and therefore decisions are different. One thing is the same. It’s very,very unlikely you will be cruising for the rest of your life. Plan for re entry. You can’t know when or if illness or injury will radically change your life. Plan for it.
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Old 05-30-2022, 09:17 AM   #64
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Wonít enter into conversations about ADHD, dyslexia, executive function disorder or the like. Thereís too large a discrepancy between between the scientific parlance and lay. Thereís too many distortions by folks including practitioners. Both parents, school systems and others have intrinsic bias which distorts their thinking. Without a understanding of functional neuro anatomy such conversations rapidly degenerate into opinions.
....but you kinda did! What would you think if your child came home and said his teacher told him if he would just take a little pill every morning he'd do much better in school? My wife and I fought the school to keep him off medication. Grade school was a struggle for him and us. Later in life, when he was interested, he went on to graduate at the top of his class with a masters in psychology and received numerous awards at graduation. He also earned a black belt in taekwondo even though he never liked fighting. I think we are too quick to classify kids as adhd when they may just be bored or uninterested.
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Old 05-30-2022, 09:37 AM   #65
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As said I have no knowledge of who did the assessments, nor knowledge of the individual nor knowledge of your response so I’m not in a position to discuss this. As an example I’m dyslexic. Was never diagnosed. So learn to compensate by speed reading. I got a a full ride to Columbia, then full ride to NYU, then NYU med, (I’ve been published and had teaching appointments at Harvard and BU) then BU for training then a sub specialty at Harvard. Even now I need my wife to help me with single syllable words. THERE is NO correlation between a specific learning disorder and outcomes. Just like boats any one feature or even small group of features does NOT define the boat or individual. So yes I will not discuss this subject.
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Old 05-30-2022, 10:04 AM   #66
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As said I have no knowledge of who did the assessments, nor knowledge of the individual nor knowledge of your response so Iím not in a position to discuss this. As an example Iím dyslexic. Was never diagnosed. So learn to compensate by speed reading. I got a a full ride to Columbia, then full ride to NYU, then NYU med, (Iíve been published and had teaching appointments at Harvard and BU) then BU for training then a sub specialty at Harvard. Even now I need my wife to help me with single syllable words. THERE is NO correlation between a specific learning disorder and outcomes. Just like boats any one feature or even small group of features does NOT define the boat or individual. So yes I will not discuss this subject.
Wifey B: Dyslexia is a special interest of mine. Not a subject I felt knowledgeable about when starting so my first summer after teaching spent in a special school learning more. From then on, I taught the "Gift of Dyslexia." What an impressive list of those who have had dyslexia. A struggle I don't want to at all diminish, but most who have dyslexia, also have very special skills and genius in other ways, from science to the arts. When you're part of a group that includes Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, and George Washington and so many more, it must be special. There is no better example of a condition with limitations offset in other ways by special skills.

It's just a reminder that we all are different, with exceptional skills and with limitations. No two humans the same, but all special in their own way.
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Old 05-30-2022, 11:17 AM   #67
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It's just a reminder that we all are different, with exceptional skills and with limitations. No two humans the same, but all special in their own way.

All too true!!!


Please note dyslexia is like saying cancer or heart or kidney disease. There’s many forms of dyslexia with many variations in impact. Especially when one considers the rest of brain function which unfortunately all to often isn’t in its entirety.
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Old 05-30-2022, 12:11 PM   #68
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It's just a reminder that we all are different, with exceptional skills and with limitations. No two humans the same, but all special in their own way.

All too true!!!


Please note dyslexia is like saying cancer or heart or kidney disease. Thereís many forms of dyslexia with many variations in impact. Especially when one considers the rest of brain function which unfortunately all to often isnít in its entirety.
Wifey B: And as a teacher, one of the challenges was that those with different forms respond best to different teaching approaches. While one school of teaching might be incredible for most, you'd then find the student that it didn't work for at all. I was also amazed how many young students had not been diagnosed and teachers didn't realize as they hadn't been trained. There are many similar issues that I learned to broadly classify as "Disorientation." I just couldn't accept failure as a student problem, it was a teacher problem and meant as a teacher learning more and finding different approaches.
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Old 05-30-2022, 12:15 PM   #69
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Uh, rookie stories? Biggest thread drift yet ��
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Old 05-30-2022, 03:50 PM   #70
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Have known distraught couples. Usually one or two years out. Expense isn’t the most common reason. Isolation and interpersonal relationships seem a common thread. Often you’re one plane flight away from your prior stomping grounds but arrangements to leave the boat aren’t trivial. Especially if you’re a long range cruiser. FaceTime doesn’t replace face time. So even the strongest relationships suffer or absence leads to guilt and remorse. Always being the foreigner can be stressful. That adds a extra burden even when doing simple tasks such as shopping, laundry or interacting with boat vendors and service crews. Avoiding Bonfire of the Vanities situations is required. But the biggest deal even for loving couples with strong marriages or S.O. relationships is constant proximity. We made it a point to have a boat large enough for alone time and have times on or both of us were off the boat by ourselves. Some find after a year or two it’s just not for them. Doesn’t matter if they’ve cruised for weeks or even months in the past. Full time cruising is different. Much like the difference between a marriage and a long time girl(boy) friend. You’re in it for the duration. Just like the escape hatch on multihulls plan for the possibility things will go upside down. The couples stuck on a boat when the thrill is gone seemed miserable to me.
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Old 05-31-2022, 08:54 AM   #71
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I figured I'd post my rookie story now that we have a few miles under the keel.

We bought our boat (I refer to it as a budget trawler) in Jersey City at Liberty Landing Marina at the end of November on the hard. Needed to move it April 1st because that was when the assumed contract expired and that marina is pretty expensive and not in our budget.

First projects

1. Did a little bilge repair by removing some of the concrete ballast and forming a small sump area and reglassing the area to mount my bilge pumps.

2.Remove the single bilge pump and replaced it with an 800 gph primary bilge pump and 3700 gph high water bilge pump with the float switch 3/4 inch higher.

3. Took the sawzall to the two steel tanks and cut them up into small pieces to remove from the engine room. Replaced with 2 plastic tanks and all new fuel lines, fuel selector valve and new deck fills.

Hired a captain to help move the boat on April 1st up to Half Moon Bay Marina 35 miles. Be sure you vet your captain before signing him on. I hired a captain in case there were any mechanical issues so I could attend to those while I had a licensed captain in charge. He actually told me that I probably had more experience than him as we were traveling up the river and swapping stories. I was never a boat driver but a deckhand on various boats when I was a young man in Alaska. He was recommended to me as a training captain but what he does is basically teach a BoatUS type course to new members of the Freedom Boat Club. Anyway we got it safely docked at Half Moon Bay Marina, but in the wrong slip and he thought it was to windy to try to move it one slip over that day. So we moved it ourselves the next weekend.

Finally got a nice day a few weeks later where we could take it out ourselves for nice 4hr cruise. All went well and even backed into a new slip.

Then our trip for the rest of the Hudson river and to Lake Champlain to our home slip for the season. 4 days of cruising, 12 locks and a little over 200 miles.

Day 1. Half Moon Bay Marina to Kingston City Marina, nice steady cruise from 7.5 to 8 knots with the tide pushing us upriver. Very convenient stop right in town with nice restaurants and the maritime museum just steps away. A bit loud due to the outdoor live music at the establishment until 11pm that was only about 100 feet away. Didn't really bother me.

Day 2. Kingston City Marina to Waterford Harbor Visitors Center. Very busy stop due to the intersection of the Erie and Champlain Canals. Free Docking $10 for power, $5 for key to restrooms and shower. Walking distance to anything you may need. We didn't get on the dock with power so we had no shore power for the night. Went through the Troy Federal Lock to get there, our first lock ever and we set up to do a starboard tie, called the lockmaster and told us port tie so scrambled to switch while pretty nasty windstorm with rain was pushing us around. Got in and secured to a cable the first try. Left the lock and got to Waterford as the wind and weather turned very nice.

Day 3. Waterford to Fort Edward Yacht Basin. 6 locks in and very nice weather for the day. Stopped at And tied up to concrete wall just after Lock C5 and the lockmaster asked why we don't just go up to Fort Edward Yacht Basin as there were only 2 other boats there. I just wasn't sure I wanted to go up that side channel to get there. But after sitting in the hot sun with no shade, no power and plenty of bugs we decided to give it a go. Was definitely a good decision. Free dock with power, water and bathrooms with showers. Also moored behind another boat that I recognized that a member here had sold and the new owners were bringing it up from Georgia to Lake Champlain.

Day 4. Fort Edward to Chipman Point Marina on Lake Champlain. 5 locks and this time we shared the locks with 2 sailboats returning from the Bahamas all we well. The final lock in Whitehall provided with a bit of wind and a wait until the could get the lock filled back up for us. A little workout keeping the boat in a controlled position while waiting but good experience building. Got to Chipman Point and it was blowing pretty good, parked on the end of the transient dock as instructed but then Chip said we would need to move because the two sailboats that had been behind were going to tie up on that dock to put their mast back up and those two sailboats took up every inch of that dock. We walked over to where our new slip would be and Chip knowing we were new boaters asked if I wanted him to pilot the boat over, I said nah I think we got this. The wind was still picking up but was pretty favorable to the slip we were getting. We got in no problem, tied her up and even got a "good job, Captain".

Was a great trip with the challenging weather at the right times to give us the experience we needed. The boat ran like a top for the entire trip and we felt very accomplished at setting goals and putting in the work to see them all come together as we planned. Our only issue was that our only VHF quit working which will get fixed replaced and adding a handheld to arsenal.

Now to get back to boat work and keep getting more experience and making memories with friends and family.

Thanks to everyone for all the advice and tips here on the forum and the ones sending PMs.
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Old 06-21-2022, 05:09 PM   #72
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I made the leap because I saw it cheaper than finding an Apartment to rent in Connecticut. Right now I'm going through what to move onboard from the house, and what has to go into storage.
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