The long, rambling thoughts of an indecisive man.

[Wayfarer]

Hello all.

For the last twelve years, I've been going bald. As a 34 year old man, it's been less than ideal. At first, I was happy to blame genetics and my mother's side of the family. My late, bald grandfather and I used to bond by busting each others' chops about it. I now realize that it isn't a genetic defect, but a direct result of all of the head scratching I've been doing. For years now, I've been thinking, pondering, daydreaming, thinking, mulling over, and generally tinkering with the idea of buying a boat, and living aboard.

I'm certainly in love with the idea of it. I love boats. I love travelling. I love travelling by boat. The time I've spent travelling has been some of the happiest and healthiest of my life. I've never regretted a single cent that I've spent travelling. There's nothing tying me to my current home, and my job schedule works brilliantly with full time, snowbird style cruising.

I've read everything I can get my hands on, watched every YouTube video I can find. I've spent literally years of my life browsing Yachtworld listings and this forum. I've traveled from Florida to Maine to waste hours of broker's lives asking stupid questions about boats I knew I wouldn't buy. I've been annoying my friends, family, co workers, strangers on the street, and all of you good people with these thoughts for more than a decade.

I've never been able to pull the trigger. Sometimes I'm convinced it's a great idea, and that I'd kick myself for never at least giving it a try. Sometimes, I think it's better that I play it safe, not take any risks, keep my house, and never leave my couch. I'd change my mind on about a weekly basis.

Well, back in January, I made a decision. I was tired of wondering 'what if.' Dammit, I'm going to do it. That day I opened up a new savings account. I worked out how much I'd need to put away each month to end up with 50,000 at the end of five years, and began depositing. I've also started selling unused or un boat-friendly items around the house, like the drums I never learned to play, or the treadmill that I never use. Those proceeds also go into the boat account. Well, wouldn't you know it, the balance is growing. I'm on my way.

As a result of this concrete step in some direction, there's been a bit of a shift in my thinking. As this is now a 'When,' rather than a 'What if' scenario, I've been getting more and more excited about the idea with each passing week. The thought of coming home from work to my very own floating home is enough to brighten my day. The thought of waking up the next morning, knowing that I've got weeks of time off to explore new places, and follow warm weather up and down the coast, makes me wiggle with excitement. Silly little things like running flags up my own halyard sound like fun. Even the risk averse angel on my left shoulder has quieted down. I think even he's excited about the idea. Don't worry, he does still remind me about head maintenance, engine room bilge-yoga, and sanding brightwork when I get too excited.

Another shift in my thinking has been in regards to my current home. The familiarity of my town is really all that it has to offer me these days. Other than inertia, the main reason I've stayed here is to be close to family, but we don't see each other all that much anyway. They all have their own lives, and are busy living them. I need to do the same. Anyway, I plan on coming back to this area in the summer time to visit, and it's not that hard to jump on a flight a few times a year.

I suppose my house has been another force keeping me here. I like my house very much. I've put a lot of love and money into it, and am very pleased with how it's turning out. I've also been a homeowner long enough to know that this is a project that will never, ever be done. I could stay here 30 more years, and would just have to start remodeling the same rooms over again.

So that's it. I've officially passed the point of diminishing returns here. I'm ready to go.

The way I see it, the worst that could happen is after a year or two I decide I hate living aboard. So what? Sell the damned thing! The value wouldn't have gone down all that much, so I should get a sizable portion of my loot back, or at least enough for a big fat down payment on a new dirt house. Fine. I'm no worse off than I was at the start, and at least I can say I tried.

Bless you if you read this far. It's a real wall of text, and to be honest, I'm not even sure why I wrote it. I'm not really asking a question, I guess, just sort of organizing my thoughts.

If you have any feedback or suggestions for a guy in my situation, I'd be happy to hear it. Thanks!

 

[BruceK]

Writing thoughts down is a great way to stand back, and take a good look at them. As good a reason as any for putting pen to paper/fingers to keyboard.

That this has been the plan since January suggests the old weekly thought change pattern is in the past.
I didn`t get any sense of selling the house to put the proceeds into the boat. Keep the house as an escape route, just in case?
One rider to add is this. Working as a ship`s captain,or pilot,means your work life is on the water. Do you want your whole life on the water? Probably yes,but think about it.
The best advice about this plan could come from existing liveaboard TFers.

Nothing is set in stone,plans can change,say if a significant other comes along. Stay flexible for what life may bring.

 

[Comodave]

Remember that you only live once. I say go for it asap. Worst case you don’t like it. Then you sell the boat and move back ashore. We would also be living aboard except after my dad died we had to take care of my mom. I don’t regret it but if it had turned out differently we would be living aboard now. If you truely feel like you say you do, then sell up and go. Good luck.

 

[healhustler]

I’m convinced that human intention is the most powerful weapon we have to work with. Things seem to speed up once decisions are made. Once you’ve got your focus, a road appears through the forest created by the directionless thought you described. Now the journey toward your dream.

It should be noted that boat ownership may not help with hair loss, or head scratching for that matter. Keep us updated!

 

[Comodave]

Oh BTW, I also have lost most of my hair now. I count myself lucky since I lost most of it in my 50s and my brother lost his before he was 20.

 

[Max Simmons]

Pull the trigger. I've been talking about it since my teens, now 54 and still hoping.
Although, I guess I was technically a live-a-board for 9 months when my 2nd marriage fell apart. I still look fondly look back at that time, well mostly, the winter was a tad bit too long.

 

[MurrayM]

TOHO! (Today Only Happens Once)

I almost got killed/paralyzed at work when I was in my mid twenties. When I recovered, my wife and I set out on a slew of adventures and expeditions that kept us busy for about six years. We call it our ‘early retirement’ phase because I got a full time job at the age of 32.

Our purchasing power took a significant hit, but in our elderly years the memories we made will be more valuable than a bigger boat or more possessions.

Point being...after experiencing how fragile our lives are and how random acts in the Universe can conspire to snuff us out at any given moment, why wait?

Basically you’ve got two choices...

Imagine if while still planning you are struck by some accident or disease which destroys any chance of you meeting your goal. That would suck.

You could barge through your apprehension and just go for it, but find you’ve bitten off more than you could chew, and sell the boat.

Which would you rather live with?

 

[Giggitoni]

http://youtu.be/y706ensPTUQ

 

[Al]

http://youtu.be/y706ensPTUQ

Well played, sir, well played!!!! Now where did I put that advertisement for the 37 foot Lord Nelson!!!

 

[Donsan]

Just buy the damn boat. With your skippers cap, you won't need the hair.

 

[JustBob]

You already asked one of the best questions "what's the worst thing that can happen?"

You also mentioned pretty loose ties to your home town. I can tell you from my own experience that having a "life 2.0," i.e. moving to a new area and starting over with friends/professionals etc, is REALLY invigorating. One of the best things I ever did.

Seems like you are nearly there and just need a bit of a push. PUSH!

 

[kokopelliTim]

Dave;
Thanks for the "ramble". It was very good to be reminded of my thoughts on these issues years ago.

I decided some early time in my life to live ALL my dreams. Ive had good careers, grand loves, wonderful places to live, and enjoyed it all mostly.

BUT, I decided (and it is all a personal decision based on one's own desires in this life) to live so that when I come to die to want to die with memories and not dreams inside of me.

Yeah, ive regretted some things, missed opportunities, lost sometimes. BUT as I get very near 60 and less hair each year, I am happy, have fond memories of adventures and am now planning more adventures on my new boat.

It is a great place to be to look around, dreams fulfilled and looking for more dreams.

So, Dave; if this is your dream. Go for it. Live. Make mistakes. A bad day on a boat (even with leaks of rain coming in on a cold winter day) is STILL better than wishing I had the balls to live dreams.

My two cents this morn.

Tim

 

[JohnEasley]

Dave,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. (Sounds like we started losing our hair at about the same age. I've always opted to look at it as a sign of incredible virility and masculinity.)

As others have said, go for it and don't look back. Mistakes will be made, issues (mechanical, weather, social) will come up and have to be dealt with... that's all part of life and is really not that much different than life on land. If it doesn't work out, you can sell the boat and have a chunk of change for a new dirt dwelling.

My grandmother tried to convince my grandfather to sell the house, buy an RV, and hit the road. He refused. After he passed away, my grandmother said to me, "I wish I had... and now it's too late." Don't be her. Go for it while you can.

And please keep us posted about your search, your learning process and your travels.

John

 

[Wayfarer]

Writing thoughts down is a great way to stand back, and take a good look at them. As good a reason as any for putting pen to paper/fingers to keyboard.
Agreed! It definitely helps scatterbrained lunatics like me.
That this has been the plan since January suggests the old weekly thought change pattern is in the past.
I'm thinking the same. I'm sure there will be doubts along the way, but I'm feeling much more committed.
I didn`t get any sense of selling the house to put the proceeds into the boat. Keep the house as an escape route, just in case?
I'm not sure on this yet. I was thinking that I may try to rent the place for a year while I try things out, just in case. I may just sell, and throw the proceeds down on the boat right off the bat. If I do end up moving back ashore, I think there are a lot of things I would do differently in the next house anyway.
One rider to add is this. Working as a ship`s captain,or pilot,means your work life is on the water. Do you want your whole life on the water? Probably yes,but think about it.
Oddly enough, working on a ship doesn't feel anything like being on your own boat. The ship is big enough that you really don't feel much movement most of the time. I don't ever get to go anywhere I want to go, and my office and the pilothouse are so far removed from the water, that sometimes it feels more like a waterfront building than a boat.
The best advice about this plan could come from existing liveaboard TFers.

Nothing is set in stone,plans can change,say if a significant other comes along. Stay flexible for what life may bring.
Some good advice for life in general.

Thanks Bruce.

 

[Wayfarer]

Remember that you only live once. I say go for it asap. Worst case you don’t like it. Then you sell the boat and move back ashore. We would also be living aboard except after my dad died we had to take care of my mom. I don’t regret it but if it had turned out differently we would be living aboard now. If you truely feel like you say you do, then sell up and go. Good luck.

Thanks Dave. The fact that I'm still fairly young, and in reasonably okay shape has also been part of the push toward living aboard. I don't come from a family of particularly long lived folk, and I haven't done myself too many favors in that department either. Long story short, I may not get the chance to retire. No sense in waiting for a time that may not come.

Oh BTW, I also have lost most of my hair now. I count myself lucky since I lost most of it in my 50s and my brother lost his before he was 20.

I feel for your brother. I started losing mine at 20.

 

[Wayfarer]

I’m convinced that human intention is the most powerful weapon we have to work with. Things seem to speed up once decisions are made. Once you’ve got your focus, a road appears through the forest created by the directionless thought you described. Now the journey toward your dream.

It should be noted that boat ownership may not help with hair loss, or head scratching for that matter. Keep us updated!

Very well put, sir. Thanks for that, and you can be sure of updates.

 

[Wayfarer]

Pull the trigger. I've been talking about it since my teens, now 54 and still hoping.
Although, I guess I was technically a live-a-board for 9 months when my 2nd marriage fell apart. I still look fondly look back at that time, well mostly, the winter was a tad bit too long.

Thanks Max. I don't think I'd have any friends left if i just kept yammering on about it for another 20 years, lol. And winters are always too long as far as I'm concerned. That's another bonus of my scheme. No. More. Snow.

 

[Wayfarer]

http://youtu.be/y706ensPTUQ

Well hell, there's no arguing with that, is there?? lol.

 

[Wayfarer]

You already asked one of the best questions "what's the worst thing that can happen?"

You also mentioned pretty loose ties to your home town. I can tell you from my own experience that having a "life 2.0," i.e. moving to a new area and starting over with friends/professionals etc, is REALLY invigorating. One of the best things I ever did.

Seems like you are nearly there and just need a bit of a push. PUSH!

Thanks Bob. Moving to another area of the country is something else I've considered many times. In the end, I never needed to, so I never have. I think if/when I end up moving back ashore eventually, I'd be strongly inclined to start fresh somewhere new.

 

[ktdtx]

It took me a lot of years to finally learn that making the decision is the most difficult part...................after that is done the rest is just logistics, working out the details.


Good Luck and remember--not many decisions are Forever...if things change--make a different decision.

 

[Wayfarer]

Dave;
Thanks for the "ramble". It was very good to be reminded of my thoughts on these issues years ago.

I decided some early time in my life to live ALL my dreams. Ive had good careers, grand loves, wonderful places to live, and enjoyed it all mostly.

BUT, I decided (and it is all a personal decision based on one's own desires in this life) to live so that when I come to die to want to die with memories and not dreams inside of me.

Yeah, ive regretted some things, missed opportunities, lost sometimes. BUT as I get very near 60 and less hair each year, I am happy, have fond memories of adventures and am now planning more adventures on my new boat.

It is a great place to be to look around, dreams fulfilled and looking for more dreams.

So, Dave; if this is your dream. Go for it. Live. Make mistakes. A bad day on a boat (even with leaks of rain coming in on a cold winter day) is STILL better than wishing I had the balls to live dreams.

My two cents this morn.

Tim

Thank you Tim. Very well said. This brings to mind an article I read recently. It really stuck with me, and I saved part of it to come back to:

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

 

[Wayfarer]

Dave,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. (Sounds like we started losing our hair at about the same age. I've always opted to look at it as a sign of incredible virility and masculinity.)

Thanks for reading them all! Lol.

As others have said, go for it and don't look back. Mistakes will be made, issues (mechanical, weather, social) will come up and have to be dealt with... that's all part of life and is really not that much different than life on land. If it doesn't work out, you can sell the boat and have a chunk of change for a new dirt dwelling.

I honestly think you're right. The 'To Do' list on a boat is just as long as having a house and a car. That's another part of the reason that I'll probably sell the house instead of renting it, since I don't want to have two homes worth of maintenance and upkeep to undertake. I tried that once, and they both suffered for it.

My grandmother tried to convince my grandfather to sell the house, buy an RV, and hit the road. He refused. After he passed away, my grandmother said to me, "I wish I had... and now it's too late." Don't be her. Go for it while you can.

That's another reason I want to do it sooner rather than later. I'm single, and not in any danger of being otherwise. While it would be stellar to have a co-captain, I'm happy to enjoy the freedom while I have it.

And please keep us posted about your search, your learning process and your travels.

John

Thanks John. I'll most certainly be posting with any significant happenings along the way.

 

[Lou_tribal]

When I started looking at boats we were thinking to get one in a 5 years timeframe.
Looking and looking and I was interested/attracted more and more to the point we got a boat 6 month later.
I will never go back, it is the best decision I could take. Sometime it is stressful, some time deceptive but always wonderful. And first cruise with the boat was just an unforgettable adventure.

Go for it, you never know if you will still be there later.

L.

 

[Molly]

Like Nike says "Just Do It"
I often thought about it, always had a reason for waiting. Now I'm too old, I need too much comfort these days! Still have a boat and love the boat. Go out as much as I can. Like you said, if it doesn't work out, at least you gave it a shot. You shouldn't even have to sell the boat. Just get a slip at a marina and move into a dirt home. Take it in small bights. Get the boat, go on trips. Try 2 weeks, then a month. Then sell the home and throw off the bow lines.


Mark Twain said something about "20 years from now, the regrets you'll have are the things you didn't try. Throw off the bow lines and sail away." (words to that effect anyway) Sorry to Mark Twain.

 

[BandB]

I think you've done an incredible job of thinking through it all and reaching a conclusion or decision, at least for now. The one thing you've gotten started is "saving" and regardless of other decisions that will benefit you. However, most of us need an incentive, something to be saving for. For us, it was always retirement, although it came earlier than we ever anticipated. However, saving for it sure helped us resist a lot of temptation of things unimportant to us. For years others asked why we didn't buy a larger home in the new resort type area. Well, ultimately, we're retired and they're working, and one reason is we didn't buy the home they did.

I see it happening for you. In five years you'll have the money for your boat and then all these others will say "he must have hit the lottery or gotten an inheritance" as they'll be astonished you're buying a boat. No, you simply set it as a goal and every day along the way made choices that got you there, none of those choices worsening your quality of life.

Having known others in the industry, I'd say most of them share your views that working on ships and owning a small boat are not at all similar. I have a friend who is a chief engineer on a 400'+ yacht and his idea is to retire to New Zealand and get a four wheel drive and tow a 14' aluminum boat.

I love reading of someone focused on a goal as you are. That's how one reaches goals. They don't just accidentally happen.

 

[Cliff Meima]

Wow, what a great post. Dona and I have no regrets, we are full of memories of good times along with a few groundings.

 

[The Other Gary]

I moved aboard by chance during a marital separation. 16 years and three boats later I cannot imagine moving back onto dirt while I still have my health. If anything my life on the water, and winter ice, has kept me active, healthier and breathing cleaner air than any city offers. I suspect that you are a bit younger and wonder if you will winter at Oneida Lake or travel.

 

[Pack Mule]

That’s exciting Dave . Just making the decision is huge . Joy and I have been struggling with the decision for years and will probably keep on struggling with it.We are moving in the right direction buy thinning out some stuff around the house. Just this week I gave away some old woodworking equipment and a pile of walnut lumber. Out of sight out of mind.
I’m sure that getting the decision made is allowing you to sleep better and the excitement probably ain’t so bad either. Go for it man. The journey that you’re going through now and the planning you’ll be doing is going to make the time waiting fly by. I only know you as a TF buddy but close enough to say I’m proud for you . Sail on my brother .

 

[dhays]

I will echo what others have said. You have given it plenty of thought and are on your way to achieving a goal. I really like the attitude of "what is the worst that can happen?". Once you know the answer to that, and are OK with that as a possible outcome, you have a degree of freedom to take the plunge.

 

[Wayfarer]

When I started looking at boats we were thinking to get one in a 5 years timeframe.
Looking and looking and I was interested/attracted more and more to the point we got a boat 6 month later.
I will never go back, it is the best decision I could take. Sometime it is stressful, some time deceptive but always wonderful. And first cruise with the boat was just an unforgettable adventure.

Go for it, you never know if you will still be there later.

L.

The temptation will certainly be strong to jump the gun. I've stood on the decks of boats that I was absolutely head over heels in love with, and could almost justify burning my house down for the insurance money. Almost.

There are several reasons I went with the five year time frame. I just refinanced my mortgage a couple of years ago, and don't want to close that account just yet, since it would likely hurt my credit. Any mortgage payments I make from here on out I'm essentially considering to be deposits into a savings account.

The truck will be paid off, but will still have a good chunk of equity. Hopefully as much as 20k if resale values continue as they have, and I don't throw up in the vents or something.

Five years also gives me time to comfortably save the 50k without having much impact on my day to day life. It also gives me some time to shine up a few areas that still need updating at the house, with maximizing resale value in mind.