Tell us something about you that sounds FAKE

[JustBob]

Friend of mine started a thread like this on f/b, and it has been fun.

Tell us something about yourself that sounds FAKE but is 100% true!

Post as many as you like!

 

[JustBob]

I'll start... I experienced a feat of super human strength, and temporary amnesia at the same time. Was working in a coffee shop as a waiter while in college. Was taking an order when people started screaming and pointing outside. I looked out and saw my female manager, on the ground, being pummeled by some very large person in an army style jacket.

The last thing I remember is blowing through the doors to get outside. The next thing I remember is walking back through them with the entire restaurant staring at me. I was drenched with sweat and was freaked out that I didn't recall anything since the first screams. At first they just looked with open mouths, then started clapping.
They told me that I grabbed the person, threw him to the ground, dragged him by the jacket across the parking lot, over a grass berm, then threw him into the street. So far that he nearly landed on the opposite sidewalk.

Cops were called, someone drove the manager to the hospital. I was interviewed but had nothing to say. About an hour later I found out I was not actually the incredible hulk as my back went into the worst spasms of my life. (But the manager always loved me!)

 

[menzies]

I was arrested by the British Army for setting a booby trap that blew up and killed a sniffer dog.

 

[tiltrider1]

When I was 28 I found myself on a deserted atoll in the South Pacific with 10 naked Tahitian women. The rest of the story is not nearly as good as the headline but the headline is true.

 

[FoxtrotCharlie]

Summer of 1976 I was backpacking around Europe (between Jr and Sr yrs). Having dinner on July 4 (Bicentennial) at the hostel in Grindelwald - two guys from Israel asked if I wanted to go run with the bulls with them. Three days later we were in Pamplona and I ran with the bulls.

 

[AKDoug]

I flew an ultralight airplane in the first North American Cross Country Ultralight Championship Race, across Alaska. In one of the earliest designs of ultralight, against many of the most modern designs of the time. In a field of 21 other planes, many piloted by professional pilots, racing from Eagle River to Fairbanks. I won! I had never flown anything but ultralights, was not a licensed pilot, and the race was never held again.

Which makes me the current North American Cross Country Ultralight Champion!

 

[Northern Spy]

I was held hostage by Seal Team 6 for a day.

 

[MurrayM]

The one that immediately comes to mind is of a sexual nature and is entirely inappropriate for this forum.

 

[JLD]

I took my family (myself, wife, and grown daughter) ATVing last Summer on Polaris Ace single seat UTVs.

We had so much fun, that last Fall I dipped into the boat buying fund and bought 3 Aces and a Trailer!

LOL, now I have to work an extra year to save enough money to pay for my retirement boat!

Jim

 

[klee wyck]

Sounds fake but is actually true.......well, let’s see how this goes over.
I spent twenty years with my right arm up a cow’s ass.
(Can I say ass here?)

 

[Bacchus]

Just wondering how many here were at Woodstock back in '69?

 

[MurrayM]

The one that immediately comes to mind is of a sexual nature and is entirely inappropriate for this forum.

Could be good, could be bad

 

[Russell Clifton]

I played in a rock and roll band in high school. One night we played back up to a dude from England named Sir Walter Rawlie.(sp?). We also had a battle of the bands one night with Three Dog Night. (Before they were international stars).

 

[cool beans]

I won't sip a drink out of your straw. That's disgusting!

I flush public toilets with my foot.

I hallucinate when I close my eyes.

 

[JustBob]

The one that immediately comes to mind is of a sexual nature and is entirely inappropriate for this forum.

What a tease! (ok, PM us )

 

[JustBob]

I have known three people that made $100 million + fortunes, and lost it all. One had three jets including a 727 that he was rated to fly. Now he lives in a trailer his sister bought for him and is an uber driver.

 

[Lou_tribal]

I am human, I know it is hard to believe but that's true.

L

 

[John R M]

I once lived underwater for 4 days, and not in a submarine.

 

[Art]

Fall 2005, in a 1987 F250 truck; Linda and and I were coming up a considerably windy, very narrow two lane road at 35 +/- mph [35 was speed limit]. For decades we often drive this road.

Saw a Jeep [1990ish] SUV coming down toward us, way too quickly on a turn that veered toward us. Driver over corrected to his right side. His rear wheels slid at us as the Jeep's right front nose hit a sheer bank close to that side of the road. Jeep flipped upward on its side [a few feet high] off the road and its top was coming broadside at our truck.

It was obviously going to strike our truck hood and smash through our windshield. Its trajectory was going to shear off our cab and our upper bodies. There was nowhere for me to go... as the narrow road on our side had no curb area and a steep sheer cliff to our right.

The closeness of this oncoming airborne vehicle was just a couple seconds to impact.

Suddenly, I saw the Jeep's front end strike a big rock on the sheer cliff. That impact made the Jeep stand straight upright as it passed inches from driver side door of our truck. As I turned my head to look out the driver door window everything went into seemingly slow motion.

The Jeep stood completely upright with its rear in the air and front not touching the road. Jeep's driver door passed within inches; at same height as my door. Out my window, through his window I could see the young looking driver's head neck and arms gyrating wildly around as the vehicle flew by.

We immediately pulled into a small shoulder area about 600' up the road. I ran back to see how I could help.

The Jeep was considerably crushed on its top and sides. Luckily it landed on its wheels. As I approached the wreck another car coming up the road stopped. Between that fellow, the Jeep driver and me we got the driver door open. The driver was in his teens or early 20's. He did have his seat and shoulder belts on.

Boy was he ever shook up! We got him to the side and others had stopped to control traffic. Police and ambulance arrived. That lucky kid was not really hurt too much... which was as they say... a God Send.

And, Linda and I, as well as our vehicle, were completly un schathed. If that Jeep had not [in the last second] hit the big rock and been stood upright there is no doubt that Linda and I would have been decapitated and the driver may have been dead too.

Now... That's what I call a Real God Send!

Often that speck in time crosses my [our] minds; it will always be clearly imprinted. Because of that circumstance, as well as other items in my [our] life, Linda and I are greatly appreciative of every minute of out lives. We feel blessed and are thankful!!

 

[MYTraveler]

One weekend, about 40 years ago, I was shipwrecked at San Clemente Island. The island is under control of the Navy, so as a matter of policy, our group of about 8 guys about a year out of college were placed under naval arrest. There isn't much to do at the island so all of the ranking officers routinely leave for the weekend (at least back then), leaving the junior most officer in charge, in this case a young Lieutenant who had graduated from the Naval Academy about the same time were had graduated from college. Since the Navy has rules preventing officers from fraternizing with enlisted men, and because the Lieutenant had no one else to socialize with, he took us over to the officers club and bought us drinks (we were under arrest but not in the brig). A day or two later, we got towed back to the mainland and wrote a letter of thanks to the Lieutenant's commanding officer. We recommended his immediate promotion to Captain, which was fitting because his last name was Bligh.

 

[SteveK]

We went 300 miles out with a comfortable sail. We then turned back as weather turned bad. Offshore under sail in storm force winds, the clew of foresail starting to rip. Two of us went up there with needle and thread. Between top of waves in the trough the 50 foot tall sail went limp, then tight with a bang. My job was to pull/hold it together and then give the signal to take a deep breath while we were covered in estimated 6 feet of water. we were told later. We were secured to the boat. The sail held until landfall. Electronics died due to sauna below for navigation. Dead reckoning we sailed to within 5 nautical miles of where we expected to be, as we came across a tug and confirmed lat/long. Reset course to destination to hot springs bubbling into the Ocean.

 

[MurrayM]

What a tease! (ok, PM us )

I've said too much already, so let's just close up with the fact that it may involve certain dewy eyed farm animals and/or small woodland creatures.

 

[Gordon J]

I wrestled an alligator. I was a reporter for a daily paper and wrestled the gator for a fluff piece for the sunday paper. I had come across a want ad in which the Reptile Gardens was looking for a full time wrestler. I introduced myself and said I wanted to learn so I could write about it. The owner said sure, and after a couple hours instruction and practice on a gator that had its mouth taped, I intertwined the tourists.

 

[Pluto]

I flew an ultralight airplane in the first North American Cross Country Ultralight Championship Race, across Alaska. In one of the earliest designs of ultralight, against many of the most modern designs of the time. In a field of 21 other planes, many piloted by professional pilots, racing from Eagle River to Fairbanks. I won! I had never flown anything but ultralights, was not a licensed pilot, and the race was never held again.

Which makes me the current North American Cross Country Ultralight Champion!

Excellent! Still flying?

 

[angus99]

Just wondering how many here were at Woodstock back in '69?

My parents gave my brother and me $100 not to go. Like fools, we took the money and went to Florida, where we got into more trouble than we’d likely have seen on Max Yasgur’s farm.

 

[Boatfever]

Once Bitten, But Not Shy

I was bitten by an approximately 70-80 pound, 5 - 6 ft Alligator Gar when I was around 13 or 14 years old and still have a few small scars. Clearly, I lived. The gar wasn't so fortunate.

 

[Boatfever]

I have known three people that made $100 million + fortunes, and lost it all. One had three jets including a 727 that he was rated to fly. Now he lives in a trailer his sister bought for him and is an uber driver.

I would like to meet these gentlemen for a beer and a lessons learned review.

Learning from others' mistakes is always cheaper then DIY.

 

[O C Diver]

I'm a very poor swimmer. While that may be common, most others don't teach Scuba diving for 35 years. Had lots of empathy for those having a hard time passing the swim test qualification. It's really all about the equipment.

Ted

 

[GoneFarrell]

I crawled down to a seawall and fell into a lake when I was a crawler. People were asking around where the hell I was. My dad jumped in the lake, groped around on the bottom (4 feet deep) and pulled me up all blue. Apparently I came back around OK. The news clipping of the story is in my baby book.

At 12 I climbed a cliff with my cousin. I got to the top (60 feet) and the last handhold came loose as a garbage can sized boulder. I fell backwards down the cliff and caught my ankle in a cleft of the rocks. My cousin pulled me to safety with a broken arm. Then walked miles to get back to camp and collapsed in shock. Came back from that one OK.

In '71, rolled a beer keg 1000 miles up the coast from the windmill in Golden Gate Park to the Olympia brewery in Tumwater Washington. Set a world record. Did this nonstop night and day with 5 other guys over 3 weeks, raised several thousand $$ for Muscular Dystrophy. The Oly beer can trophy is in my living room.

Then there was 25 years road racing & track days on 750 superbikes. Came out of that OK. Trophies in the garage.

3 weeks ago, survived one of the top 3 toughest dirt bike rides I ever did in 50 years of riding. Down in Baja. Weather came in on us in the mountains, had to bail out back 80 miles at night in mud and rain to get out. Ran out of gas twice due to mud loading on the bike, Did not fall down. 5 hours back in the dark and rain. Told the kids I was riding out with that if we survive tonight and into next month I have 67th B/D. They looked at me in the dark and rain with flashlights as we were moving gas with a juice jug to my bike, mumbled something about being a bad ass. Came out of that one OK too.

Sequestered here at home is getting boring.

 

[rsn48]

I worked as an orderly, Medical Social Worker and hospital chaplain spread over 5 Vancouver hospital. I was an officer in the Navy and worked with the Army and Airforce. I worked as an Estate Planner with Sunlife of Canada. And I worked on one BA and two Masters.

I took a year in another masters in Health Care Administration and Planning. I took many courses through an Institute for Photography and taught photography.

I worked with Inuit youth from the high Canadian North.

One of my close friends is a lighthouse keeper on Chrome Island close to Prince Rupert.