Wifey B:
What it was was golf.
It was back last June, I believe it was. We was a-goin t go see this beautiful area near the beach in St. Marteen.
And we got thar about lunchtime on Wednesday.
And different ones of us thought we ought to get us a mouthful to eat before
that we went out walkin around the field.
And so, we went in this nice little place and ate and then got on to this funny little car and followed people down this path to where there was a spot of ground set up sort of flat.
And we come up on a big sign, says Tee and had a number 1 and said 440 yds and had sort of this little map on it.
And this girlfriend wat led us out here took a big stick with a mallet and put this little ball on a short stick and hit that little funny ball.
It weren't no normal ball but it had more little dimples and you ever see.
Well friends, they commenced to hitting and they wasnt so much
I could do except to move with em.
Lord knows I felt sure they was gonna lose them little balls but they carried spares.
It was beautiful looking out on the sea but I never figured out why they had these little beachy areas up on the land and not by the water and people swore everytime their little ball landed on one of the beaches.
Well, they also had little ponds right in the middle of where they was gonna play. First time one whopped that little ball into one of them little ponds I started takin my clothes off to go dive in and get it for them but they said no. No tellin how many of them little balls in them ponds.
Then finally they get to this little patch of really nice grass like a carpet sort of and in the middle of that there's what looks like a gopher hole. Well, I don't like no gophers so I didn't go close, but I seed them hit their ball in that hole intentionally and the reach down and pick it back up.
Now I thunk the whole thing was over then. I done took about 15 minutes but no no no no no
They done this 17 more times. Boy I bet the farmer wat owned this land was upset wat they done to it.
And hot, mother of pearl was it hot. Only time you could get cool was to jump in that funny little car and go. They got upset when I just drove it as fast as it would go across the pasture, said you had to drive it on these silly little roads.
I ain't figured out yet all about them sticks and balls and beaches in the way and ponds and then putting the ball in the hole. Best I could tell this was like some penance you had to do so when it was all over you could go into this bar and have a drink.
I tried to take a whack at one of them little balls once. They said keep your left arm stiff and swing that stick but damn that hurt my boobs.
It took nearly 4 hours of hitting them balls around like that to get to where the bar was which was right where you started with lunch. Like goin around in circles. They was shortcuts all over and apparently some rules you couldn't take them.
And why after every hole they put them little balls in these contraptions and get them wet and wipe them off. Why wash them if you just going to whack them back on the ground again.
And whoa betsy they had all these different sticks. Some purty ones with wood mallets and some metal ones and then these little things they said was putters. Sometimes they'd take one stick out of the stick bag and then decide it weren't the right one and I don't know how they decided that.
Then I heard someone say birdie and I thought they done hit one in the air but found out it weren't. Seemed like they was also pars but I don't know what them is and something they acted like was real bad called a bogey. I guess it's like the bogeyman who scares little children.
And why they play this silly game that gets them all riled up all the time. Sometimes that little ball apparently didn't go where they wanted and they cursed like sailors. All this over a little dimply ball they done whacked with a stick.
Most of them didn't look like they was rightly having fun. They never answered when I asked what they did bad to get punished like this. Back at the bar place they also had like communal showers and such and got cleaned up and then got drunk. Now I don't normally approve of getting drunk but after hitting this silly little ball around the pasture for 4 hours I don't say that I blame them.
