Getting put on hold

[ksanders]

Well, divorce is a huge financial hit for most families. While most TF members will be in the top 10% income range in the US, and therefore can more readily take the ~ 30% reduction in standard of living, not all are as fortunate. Divorce is a significant predictor for poverty for both children and the aged.

My own financial life would be irrevocably altered if my wife was to divorce me. Fortunately, for many reasons, she still hasn't come to her senses after 35 years.

I completely agree that if you take 100% and divide it by 2 you will only end up with 50% or even less. Thats the reality.

A factor that mitigates that is if the couple is living a expensive lifestyle, and one of the parties would be quite happy with a much less expensive lifestyle, making for a very comfortable standard of living.

I will use myself as an example. Together my wife and I can run through a kings ransom every month on all the stuff "necessary" to "live". More than I ever imagined, and no we do not have any "payments" anymore. Just insurance costs me over $600 a month for the cars and the house. Not to mention everything else.

Myself, all I would need are my boat related expenses, and a little food. Possibly insurance on one of our vehicles. I'd probably cruise more so some boat fuel.

I did the math once and was shocked at how little monthly living expenses would be If I could bag the house and all it entails. Yes a house is an asset, but it is an asset that costs. Maintenance, upgrades, insurance, then insurance on all the vehicles, utilities, etc... It's not just the house, its all the stuff you buy that goes in the house. The list could go on forever.

I love my wife dearly. We have well over two decades of water under the bridge, but I am a realist that our "together" lifestyle is much more expensive than if it were just me living on my boat. A hell of a lot more than 50%

 

[Wxx3]

When I entered the throes of divorce, I ended up following a dream and became a liveaboard- purchased a 3870 Bayliner and haven't looked back.

At the same time, I made a decision to never react emotionally, but to act in the best interests of our kids and always taking the high road. That decision served me well. Sorry to hear you are going thru this.

Yep. Well said.

As a friend said to me, Life Happens.

This too shall pass.

 

[Warwgn]

All done, paper are final. I get the kids during the week and she gets them weekends. Has her own place now about 30 miles down the road, neither of us pay anything to the other and all seems to be ok for now. Still think she will go for money somehow after her tax return is blown.

Anyway, I have got that behind me mostly and workin on me now, but have side tracked any trawler plans by going all out on my first passion, motorcycles. The weekend after the papers were final I bought a new to me bike, a 2003 Kawasaki Concours 1000, it's a sport touring bike and have been riding it everyday to work and a few small trips. Getting it all geared up and myself so I can ride it up to Alaska next year.

I would go this year but have to finish building a car first by the end of the summer, my oldest daughter who is 16 wants to get a job and license so got to get her something to drive and she has her heart set on the 72 VW in my shop as her first car. So time to get back to work on it and make us both happy, it has a full roll cage so that makes me feel better turning her loose on the streets, plus only a 2 seater no AC and not very powerful so not a lot of friends will want to take her car when they go places.

The dream is still alive to get a trawler but just has to get in line and wait its turn.

 

[GFC]

Yup, it passed and you're reasonably healthy on the outside now that it's behind you. Hug your kids a lot. You can't do that often enough. Don't try to be their friend, they just want you to be their dad.


Enjoy that new bike, but remember---there's old motorcycle riders and bold motorcycle riders, but there ain't never been an old, bold motorcycle rider....for long.