Contemplating ICW with 3 kids 6 and under: HELP!

[newbieplus4]

Hello all! amateur boater here with varying experience. Last boat was a Hunter 26 sloop before the wife and I decided to settle down in Severna Park, MD and start a family. I’ll try to keep this short but honestly I need someone to tell me I’m crazy before I invest WAY too much time into this pipe dream of ours. I’m currently a pilot in the USAF and will be retiring around March 2024. At that point, I’m going to have approximately a 3-4 month slot of time that would enable us to pursue a family adventure. As we live only a few miles from Annapolis, one of our goals is to introduce our kids to boating at a young age and figured this might be an opportunity for us to travel the ICW as a family, potentially starting in Key West and ending up back at home. I nor my wife have ever traveled the ICW but we are willing to put in the time and training required to be ready for such an adventure 18 months from now…that is if other people think it’s a possibility. The biggest challenge facing us hands down is whether or not this would be possible (or smart) to attempt with 3 small children, the youngest of which will be 1.5 years. The other two can already swim but will still be under 7 yrs and obviously little to no help as crew members. Thinking min size would have to be 36 ft or so with 2 cabins and a million other logistics to figure out but before I even entertain that path… Are we insane? If I should post this in another thread, please let me know. Thanks in advance for the honest feedback!

 

[O C Diver]

Have met several families that cruise with children. Never saw a family that it didn't work well for. Met one family where the parents were cruising for 6 years and had 2 children along the way. At your children's age, it can be a real family bonding experience. Understand that there is no room for children that are uncontrollable. An occasional meltdown is to be expected, but a boat of your proposed size has almost no private space and everyone needs to get along. Finally, if any of your children can't respect NO without an explanation, a boat and destinations you visit can become dangerous.

Ted

 

[Gdavid]

The kids will adapt just fine, whether your wife shares your enthusiasm is what will make or break this dream, in my opinion.

 

[Hippocampus]

We had my wife’s grandson for awhile. Biggest problem is home schooling. Believe home schooled kids are as well or better educated but it takes work to figure out which program to use and further work to do it. Second issue is socializing for the kids. Turns out there’s a lot of opportunities with other boat kids. Some kids need encouragement and support to get involved with other kids. Again this might require effort on your part. The kids I know who done or are doing the cruising life end up just fine. The adults I know look back at it fondly.

 

[mvweebles]

Read back logs of bumfuzzle.com. They had extensive sailing experience before buying a Grand Banks 42 6 or 7 years ago and raising their two children, now in their early teens. They are cruising the Caribbean.

I'll cut to the chase. This is easily achievable for you without too much work or effort. Sailors seem to have developed a gauntlet of ASA certificates but in my cynical opinion, it's a money grab to intimidate beginners. I'm not saying training and learning isn't important. But there is a lot of on-the-job-training possible.

Good luck. This would be good for your kids.

Peter

 

[Lepke]

When I last commercial fished in the 1970s, there were several families that lived aboard. The kids were homeschooled. They ranged in age from teens to just born. Probably illegal now.
Kids adapt easily. Even if you only make one trip, they'll remember is forever.

 

[rgano]

Thanks for your service. When I retired USN, I was in possession of a GB42 one wife and no children with the boat on the wrong coast - a bit of a road trip fixed that. Not being a parent, I shudder to think of wrangling kids that age on a boat. I could imagine you or wife will essentially be single-handing the nav and shiphandling while the other tends to child safety issues. With my second wife, I have been involved with 13 grandkids when they were all pretty young on that very same GB42, and I wound never have gotten underway with less that one adult per kid under age 10. So, yes, you are a bit crazy, but most us here ARE. Welcome.

 

[Comodave]

Welcome aboard. Just plan on doing some boating education with the kids so they have an idea what is safe and what isn’t. Good luck.

 

[alormaria]

Start putting together a list and ticking off the items one by one until departure.

The kids will be fine. I doubt the kids will be much help but they won't be a drag either.
We took a two month trip on the canals with our 10 year old daughter. It was great!

 

[Hippocampus]

Hav run across a fair number of sailing families. Haven’t heard of kids being a danger to themselves or others. That includes several families that cross the pond or snowbird back and forth from the states. Yes, you need to lay down the law about safety things. But that’s true land or sea.
Start investigating home schooling. There’s a lot of information to absorb before choosing how you want to do it. Start talking up the trip to your kids. Expect some possible acting out for awhile when you leave. Once you get into a routine they’ll have fun.

 

[kthoennes]

We adopted our boys a few years ago - 8 and 10 when we got them, now 12 and 14. They had never been on a boat before, couldn't swim (they actually sank like rocks in a pool, I found it very odd, you'd think they'd flail their arms or something). Took longer than I thought to turn them into boat kids, swimming lessons, practice boat maintenance tasks, etc. But now they swim like fish, sail Hobie cats, start and run the dinghy themselves, can go through the cast off and mooring routine and are very useful for tight engine tasks. Our boys are much older I know, but kids are incredibly adaptable. Can't start too early in my opinion. Making them boat kids gives them a self-confidence like very few other things. I definitely had to bark or yell a few times. Listen and respond when I give directions! Don't yell "help!" when we're underway or at the marina if you're just goofing around! Lots of cautionary kid things like that. Not easy, won't be a walk in the park especially with much younger, but very rewarding. Great for their development.

 

[RT Firefly]

Greetings,
Welcome aboard.

 

[Judy at JWY]

Welcome! I fully encourage your plan for boating with your children. My first 3 children were exposed to spending time aboard when they were 4, 6, and 8. It was life changing for them and later effected their career choices and taking on remote adventures (my daughter spent 3 years in the Peace Corps in Nicaragua for example, something she "blames" on her boating background.) One son went to California Maritime Academy. It can, and should, promote independence and teamwork. Give assignments: reading the charts, reading the guide books to select marinas or anchorages, polishing the stainless, reading the gauges, galley participation, etc. Let them pick out "stuff" in chandleries to rich their own "pulley systems" and so forth.

I strongly recommend you make the "housekeeping" chores as easy on your wife as you can. Pick up day-help when at marinas, utilize laundry services when in port, carry-in food when available. I am more concerned about how your wife handles it than your kids. Happy wife, happy life...

 

[Pete Meisinger]

Don't worry about the kids. They will do just fine.

The thing that concerns me is your lack of boating experience. A small sailboat represents little to no trawler experience. You are correct in thinking a 36 footer will be a good boat, but unless you have lots of money you will be looking in the used marked . A used boat is much different than a new boat!

Buy the boat right now. Start with day excursions, graduate to weekend trips then weeklong vacations. Only then should you embark on your three month trip.

You will be amazed at how much you learn during the shorter trips. Provisioning, packing, cooking and meals, navigation, repairs, clothing, your toolbox needs,reading material, boat modifications etc. The list goes on and on.

Just do it,

pete

 

[Shrew]

When I last commercial fished in the 1970s, there were several families that lived aboard. ......................... Probably illegal now.

It's not illegal. Please consider whether you're providing facts or misinformation.

 

[Jmreim]

You're an Air Force pilot - can't imagine many careers/skills more challenging than that. Agree with previous opinions that kids are resilient and will be fine - it's you and your wife that need to be all in. Hope it works out . . . and thx for your service.

 

[Circumnavigator]

I'll join the chorus. On our circumnav we met many families with kids of all ages. I remember one early morning when the kids (ages maybe 7 and 5) on the boat next to us at Moorea (near Tahiti) were up before their parents, diving into the water and climbing back aboard at the bowsprit, again and again. They were having a great time and were in less danger than they might have been in many American schools.


It's not a big step up from a 26' sailboat to a maybe 35-40' trawler. The most important thing, as noted in a comment above, is that both of you are on board with the plan. About half of the would-be circumnavigators we met on our trip did not succeed because one or the other was not really with the plan. An ICW trip is not a circumnav, but some of the same issues are there. Also, both of you must be completely comfortable with boat handling. That may take doing a captained charter before you buy or hiring a teacher after you buy for several days of handling the boat in various situations.


The Cruising Club of America offers a program called Safety for Cruising Couples which wouldn't be a bad thing for you. We typically teach it at the request of local yacht clubs.


Jim

 

[High Wire]

Welcome aboard! The good thing about life is if it changes for the worse, you can change to adapt and overcome. Enjoy the adventure!

 

[proudsailor]

Sail away!

Retired Navy guy here. Took some time off and enjoyed boating life for awhile before returning to the working dregs of society. Would've preferred to stay aquatic!

Always enjoyed reading the Zartman's adventures in Cruising World. About Us - Cruising with the Zartman Family. They did it on a smaller boat w/ three kids, the youngest being 9mos.

As a kid, I remember the adventures way more than I do playing w/ neighbors. Cast off. Will give the kids something to talk about in their adult years. And you may find it's too much of a blast to stop. Since you're retiring, you'll have the income and health insurance to do this and land safely should it not work.

We're in DC now, trying to find the trawler to launch our next adventure. See you on the bay!
Mark

 

[AnnapolisJoy]

Join a local club

Join AYC, https://www.annapolisyc.com/ EYC https://www.eastportyc.org/default.aspx , or a local yacht club and get the kids into a sailing program. Starting with 420s, moving up to Lazers and Sonars then the smaller J boats. Annapolis is teaming with opportunities to bring the love of the water into your family. Get to know some locals and get sponsored.

 

[BruceK]

It's not illegal. Please consider whether you're providing facts or misinformation.

Or perhaps ironic humor

 

[Crux]

Not to be negative, but what do any of us specifically remember about being age 6/7? Family photos may show us at the beach, a big snow, or a birthday party....but any details in our memory? I would think more meaningful age 9/10...

 

[newbieplus4]

Thank you!

First off, thank you all for the initial feedback! I can already tell I'll be spending WAY too much time on this forum, ha! Sorry for the delayed responses but our 3rd son came into the world last week so we've had our hands full to say the least. None the less, based upon everyone's responses, my wife and I are now even more excited to start this new adventure.

O C Diver: I 100% agree with you on the discipline aspect with the children and respecting the meaning of the word NO, especially on the water. I think my military side might assist in that important understanding between a Captain (mom/dad) and their crew (kids). My wife reminds me almost daily that I have trouble expecting too much from a 5 year old...but you can't blame me for trying, right?!

GDavid: I couldn't agree with you more on ensuring my wife is on board with this idea. Before we purchased our sailboat, I joined my wife when she took ASA101 just to to get a true reading on weather or not it something we should pursue as a couple and it worked out great. We've also been to a few boat shows together as well and always enjoy day dreaming about what the future might hold.

Hippocampus: With the kids being so young, the homeschooling aspect won't be an issue for when we want to travel as oldest will be finishing up their first year of kindergarten. However, we've talked extensively about what it would take to ensure their future education if by chance we choose to stay on the go and keep the adventure alive. Luckily we have a few family members who have gone with this option with their kids and have solid resources if we so choose to pursue that.

mvweebles (Peter): Thanks for the pep talk! I agree that the sailing world can go overboard at times with the certifications/training but I think it's definitely prepped us for pursuing this new adventure. bumfuzzle.com is great! Thanks!

Lepke: I appreciate your humor we'll need a solid dose of that if we ever make this work!

Rgano: thank you for your service! Can only imagine the fun stories with the grandkids.

Kthoennes: that’s a fantastic outcome with your kids! I can only hope that we can scratch the surface on that goal. Thanks for the motivation!

Judy at JWY: If my kids end up on a similar life path as yours, my wife and I would be more than happy that our job was done correctly. Well done! I completely agree with you on the division of responsibilities while under way…something we try to do at home as well at least when I’m not on the road!

Pete Meisinger: Completely agree with your concern on experience level which is exactly why I’m trying my best to get ahead on this one and start today. Another thing we are considering is just setting up shop at a local marina and concentrate on day/weekend trips for the first couple months before possibly embarking on a “mini-loop” around the Delaware peninsula. Time will tell...

Circumnavigator: CCA looks like a great organization and I will definitely keep it in my cross check throughout or initial purchase and training phases. I’m absolutely planning on hiring an instructor if we purchase through private party vs. broker but I’m not even sure where to start looking in that category? Are you able to point us toward any sources in the Annapolis region? Thanks!

Proudsailor: Thank you for your service! The Zartman family adventures are motivating to say the least! Totally agree with you that all my earliest boating memories seem to stand out more than all the others. Kids are very impressionable at those younger ages which is why I’m hoping to recreate it for my kids. Let us know when you find that trawler and come on up to the Severn River ?

AnnapolisJoy: thank you for the local club references. That will be a top priority for us next boating season once we get used to being a family of 5! I’m looking forward to doing some volunteer instruction (possibly even at the Naval Academy) after I retire in early 2024 so I don’t want to pass up any opportunities to help craft our kids future and ours as well! If you ever need an extra deck hand and I’m in town, keep me in mind!

Thank you everyone and looking forward to getting underway!

-David and Sarah +3