Letting Go

My wife and I are in a position to sell our home, buy a boat and spend 2-3 years cruising without using our life savings or what we have invested. Our boat budget is 200-250K and another 150-200K for a small condo for when we get tired. Without unexpected expenses we can afford to spend 3-4K per month for expected expenses. On paper we can do it but my problem is letting go of everything I am use to having. Has anyone been through this besides me?

We have not moved aboard since my 99 year old mother lives with us, but I would let go in a minute if we were able. BTW, welcome aboard.

Comodave said:

We have not moved aboard since my 99 year old mother lives with us, but I would let go in a minute if we were able. BTW, welcome aboard.

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My 90 year old mom died last week. Under the circumstances it was the best thing that could have happened to her. I am just not sure I am ready to leave everything behind.

Welcome aboard!!!
We are in the process of looking for our boat and there are times that we wonder how we will adapt to much less than we have now. I think its normal. It's a completely different lifestyle and it will take adjustments. Some can make the adjustments and some will not. In all reality, the times we are excited about the move are much more frequent.

GH41 said:

On paper we can do it but my problem is letting go of everything I am use to having. Has anyone been through this besides me?

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That's why temporary storage companies are very profitabble

My problem would be letting go of all the tools that would not fit onto the boat. I know that I would use them if I were able to get them onboard, but I guess my table saw would be a bit much...

Kids moved out in 94'. House was sold as is within two weeks. We took clothes and family photos. We left 5 cars 3 motorcycles, paintings on the walls and all furniture.

What a sense of freedonm as we looked in the rear view mirror.

Comodave said:

My problem would be letting go of all the tools that would not fit onto the boat. I know that I would use them if I were able to get them onboard, but I guess my table saw would be a bit much...

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I have a similar problem, I'm moving forward with my plans to cruise full-time though. My little brother has eagerly accepted my request for him to babysit my substantial collection of tools. He's pretty psyched and I know he'll take good care of them.

Comodave said:

My problem would be letting go of all the tools that would not fit onto the boat. I know that I would use them if I were able to get them onboard, but I guess my table saw would be a bit much...

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Exactly! We could deal with not having 30 toiletry products on the bathroom counter and 50 changes of clothes in our closet but not sure I could live without my tools. I would probably miss my roses to.

Mischief Managed said:

I have a similar problem, I'm moving forward with my plans to cruise full-time though. My little brother has eagerly accepted my request for him to babysit my substantial collection of tools. He's pretty psyched and I know he'll take good care of them.

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You sure are a heck of a brother...

Yes. apprehension is normal. its a big step. but you seem ready in many ways. i recall when i built my small offgrid home a half mile from the closest neighbor, on a hill in the forest... i got a little panicky just before i moved in. could i handle the quiet? the distance from other humans? The dark nights??? I laugh now. i cant imagine living any OTHER WAY now!!!

Buy the boat, cruise for 6 months, then make the decision. If you don't already have the boat and haven't done an extended cruise, it's a pretty big leap of faith to blindly go forward. If you buy the boat, try it for 6 months, and it doesn't work out, your loss is much smaller. For every couple who was successful doing it, there are probably an equal or greater number that realized it was a mistake for them.

Ted

So you have the financial resources and your plan seems sound, so its a head thing. I'm not sure tools is a big thing, instead of a condo get a smaller more rural home and you can continue to have a small shop to build or destroy things.

What else mentally is holding you back?

I doubt I could do it. I know it's all about material things but I'm just not ready to give them up.


My MIL is 103 and her health is failing. If she passes this winter (which is likely) we'll take off next ~June for a lengthy trip around the coast, up the Strait of Juan de Fuca then a tour through south Puget Sound then back north and up into Canada for the remainder of the summer.


After that is done the boat will be for sale and we'll buy a motorhome and do land cruises. With all of that I still need a place to hang my hat on land.

GH41 said:

My wife and I are in a position to sell our home, buy a boat and spend 2-3 years cruising without using our life savings or what we have invested. Our boat budget is 200-250K and another 150-200K for a small condo for when we get tired. Without unexpected expenses we can afford to spend 3-4K per month for expected expenses. On paper we can do it but my problem is letting go of everything I am use to having. Has anyone been through this besides me?

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Yes, sold everything in the early 90's, cars, boats, all furniture, most all tools, motorcycles, snowmobiles etc. all of our possessions except the boat fit into a 6x12 enclosed trailer that went into storage. Lived like that for three years and cruised the S.Pacific. Came back from New Zealand when we got the news the Admiral was going to augment the crew. We are starting to plan our next cruise, The kids are gone and we built another new home that the Admiral has decreed will not be liquidated to go cruising again. That said we live in a area where home rentals demand a premium and there is a shortage ..since the shack is paid for its a positive as far as cash flow. Since you havn't done it before I would take the cautious route and dont liquidate everything to start.. plan a season then make the decision after that.
Good Luck
HOLLYWOOD

One thing that I believe, and others will argue with, is get a boat large enough that you will have enough room to be comfortable. There needs to be room aboard so that each of you can have some space. There will be times you want that separation. If you don’t have enough room, you won’t be happy. With your resources you will be able to afford a reasonable size boat. Also you will probably want to have company at times and if you are crawling over each other it won’t be fun.

O C Diver said:

Buy the boat, cruise for 6 months, then make the decision. If you don't already have the boat and haven't done an extended cruise, it's a pretty big leap of faith to blindly go forward. If you buy the boat, try it for 6 months, and it doesn't work out, your loss is much smaller. For every couple who was successful doing it, there are probably an equal or greater number that realized it was a mistake for them.

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Good points.

A co-worker and her husband retired, sold their house, bought a live aboard boat, then sold it after their first winter aboard and bought another house.

Like love, however, I think it's best they had a Dream and lost than to never have been consumed by a Dream at all.

They might have lost a bit of money through it all, but I bet they learned a few things about boating and themselves that they never would have any other way.

Sometimes you just have to try, because if you don't, it'll eat away at you in your later years.

I'm going to buck the trend here. Don't know if I could live aboard either.
Give it 6 months. Take it easy. Losing a family member is tough no matter what the situation. Give yourself time to grieve and settle the estate and do whatever else needs done. Go look at boats. Buy one next spring if you find the right one. Use it over the summer. You don't say what your experience level is but go slow. You seldom get the 'perfect' boat the first time. It will all still be there next year.
And I'd imagine everyone would get a case of the nerves contemplating living aboard. Too many "what if's "....
I guess I'm trying to say don't make any hasty decisions.

she"s 103 years old. it is certainly been coming on for a long time.

Here’s what I like about your plan.

You are downsizing from a house, picket fence, etc... to a condo.

You have decided to in between the house and the condo to use your capital and buy a boat, and try out the cruising lifestyle, with a realistic exit plan.

As far as reducing stuff, that has little to do with the boat. It has to do with your decision to downsize to a condo.

Good plan. If you like the cruising lifestyle you can do it longer than your 2-3 year plan. If you do not like it so much, bail, buy your condo and enjoy your life.

Yes letting go has got to be hard, but at some point it seems to make sense to downsize.

Welcome aboard!

We are retired. But 3 years before we retired we bought ASD and move aboard in 2014. We love it!

We have downsized 3 times now. Our last being this last September. This was very hard for the Admiral. We are full time cruisers so we do not have a dirt dwelling.

Once you buy your boat there will be upgrades you will want to do, i.e. electronics. Spend time on the boat for extended period of time.

Remeber you are retired, so no schedules. Most of all have fun!

Comodave said:

You sure are a heck of a brother...

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It's a win-win, I don't have to pay for storage and he gets to use tools he does not currently own. Most of the stuff is cast iron and built to last so it's not like he's going to wear it out. I told him to to feel free to consume the consumables and to use any hardware I have (which is a whole lot...) like it was his own. I already took all the stainless steel hardware out and put it on the boat though.

I've lived on boats, own a dirt house and traveled pretty far. I don't think we could live 100% on a boat. Lots of charm there, but boil it down and daily living on a boat can really be a pain in the a$$.

So our strategy is this: Keep the dirt house and rent it out during travel times. A local bud has two houses, lives in one and rents the other over the net for short terms. He's been doing that for a few years and the money numbers work (according to him!). He knows the ins and outs and might handle ours for some compensation. We are going to explore this angle further.

My girl is a teacher, and has five years til retirement. We get the summers to travel right now. Both of us find ourselves grumpy in winter (admittedly our NC winters are mild, but still!). So once she gets out we will actively seek 80F.

I had dreams of living aboard when younger, but now almost always after about a month aboard my wife and I are ready to come back to the dirt home. Granted, our boat is smaller and not as liveable as most on here, but I think the main problem is we are just too stuck in our ways, and like Ski says, after awhile living on a boat starts to become a PITA (for us).

I assume that since you have sold your home before moving aboard (??), you will no longer have any home-based expenses like insurance, real estate taxes, heating costs etc, etc. These would eat into your $3-4K/month budget. Even with that said, that is not a huge cruising budget. Firstly, I would give serious thought to where you would want to cruise and whether you are prepared to live on a mooring/anchor vs. at a dock - big difference in convenience but also in cost. If you are traveling a lot you need to figure in fuel costs as well as dockage. Plus you still need to buy insurance, get the bottom cleaned, buy food (and drink) and eat out once in while. Then there are ALWAYS things that go wrong and need repairing, some of which you may be able to do, others that require expensive yard time/work. Lastly, if you have never lived on a (smallish) boat for an extended period, I would definitely take the previous advice of keeping my options open. You (or your wife) may well decide that it is not the thing to do non-stop for years on end. For more help with budget considerations perhaps somebody who lives aboard could provide real life experience. When we lived aboard for 6 months, we were just "on vacation" so were not so concerned about budgets.

SoWhat said:

That's why temporary storage companies are very profitabble

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Got kids? Ship it all to their places. Dont warn them until it is too late.

When I went to visit my parents, dad would put things on the floor of the back seat. Things he knew were too good to throw out and I "needed".
I got even. They would come to visit and I would put a couple of rocks on the floor in the back seat of his car.

We let go of everything. House, tools, furniture .... EVERYTHING when we retired in order to afford the boat in the first place, and move aboard full time. We have no storage cube or anything - if its not on the boat, we don't own it (except for a parked car).

For me having a garage/shop full of tools was the hardest thing to let go of. I'm a "do-er".

Two things on that:

1) I went through and added up how much it would cost to replace (nearly) everything - it was a grand total of about $6000. This surprised me. Really? I'm going to stress and try to pack up/store all of that stuff and pay monthly fees for $6000?!?! CERTAINLY NOT! I'll just get new stuff when we decide we're done cruising. I did the same thing with all of our furniture and household items. Again, it added up to a pitifully small number when compared to the pain of doing something with all of it. Now, granted, we lived WELL below our means in order to save, and there were quite a number of Harbor Freight tools in there So Craigslist it was......

2) Getting rid of everything was SURPRISINGLY liberating! After the first week or so, I was very happy with the way I felt --- MUCH less "stuff" to stress over.

Bottom line, 1.5 years in ---- would do it again in a heartbeat .

Obviously, a point will come when living aboard is not practical. What you do then and where you choose to go varies from person to person but eventually most of us have family that will have to look after us.

So plan for A, but be ready for B to make it easy on the family caregivers. No different than sensibly buying the boat, a rational exit plan is life 101.

Boat or not, every time this thread comes up I feel such a strong need to unload the mountain of stuff in my life. We have a three car garage, a two-garage storage unit, and we pay for two more storage spaces for an extra Escalade and smaller boat. 4,000 sf house that is really beautiful but the house and grounds demand constant maintenance. Then there's the big boat that also demands a lot of maintenance, plus the runabout and the dingy. If I had the money I'd hire staff just to handle the maintenance demands of everything. I need a boat guy, a groundskeeper, an accountant, an IT tech (five old computers and six old cell phones in the basement I've never had time to clean off and toss). Everything is like that.

Problem is, I enjoy the house, love the boat, love dinner on the back deck at home with the trees in bloom...but I don't have time for the mountain of maintenance on 9,000 things.

GH41 said:

My 90 year old mom died last week. Under the circumstances it was the best thing that could have happened to her. I am just not sure I am ready to leave everything behind.

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My condolences to you and your family's loss.