Woman advice needed urgently

So, the wife's been out of the country for a couple of weeks and meanwhile, I have found a perfect project boat (50' hard chine steel trawler) About what we were looking for, but the problem is we have to sell our yacht to afford it. I can borrow the money no problem I just need her OK as it will be a joint asset.*

Question. Do I liberally apply the duty free rum she will be bringing before or after double bed gymnastics and at what stage should I drop into the conversation the boat?

Any project boat will keep you busy , out of her hair for a few years, anytime might work well.

Nightcap wrote:
So, the wife's been out of the country for a couple of weeks and meanwhile, I have found a perfect project boat (50' hard chine steel trawler) About what we were looking for, but the problem is we have to sell our yacht to afford it. I can borrow the money no problem I just need her OK as it will be a joint asset.*

Question. Do I liberally apply the duty free rum she will be bringing before or after double bed gymnastics and at what stage should I drop into the conversation the boat?

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Ahoy, Nightcap...
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Peter, your handle says a mouthful... pun respectfully intended.
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Your wife out of country for weeks sounds like lots o nightcaps to me!!*
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You found a project boat that you really like Great!*
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But you need to sell current yacht to afford it, humm?* Although you can easily borrow the money, double Hummm??* Because you feel it will be an asset, triple hummmm???... well maybe it will be an asset if you get it at correct price, dont end up paying much loan interest, and it is a project than can be restored to become worth more than you paid for it... even in todays soft-boat-value economy (well, in boating, I guess even a loss should still be termed and asset, if loss were to occur).
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So, to the point... in answer to your base question... How do you get wifies OK on at maybe first borrowing money and then selling your yacht to purchase a restoration project you desire and feel will be an asset?* Here is my formula: I recommend 3 to 4 rum drinks upon a well planned, enthusiastic, and romantic seduction to bed, 3 to 5 rum drinks while bed gymnastics ensue, and 2 to 3 more rum drinks as gymnastics subside and you therein carefully whisper-mention an opportunity for your new boat as wifie slowly slips to slumber.* Then I recommend: after next morning gymnastics (a required, fun portion to convincing a wife) that you carefully remention your soon to become new boat in all its glorious attributes that will please her and be sure to mention how happy she seemed when you told her of the boat at end of last eves fun.* Be sure to keep plenty o rum handy and sheets tucked in just incase wifie requires even more convincing during that or the next day!
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Kidding aside Good Luck in your next new boat adventure!* Got any pictures of your new trawler boat or the current yacht?* Everybody loves pictures!
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Happy trawler boating and happy convincing wifie... now that REALLY sounds like FUN! Cheers! Art
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BTW Not all who are lost wander!* LOL*

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You could break the ice of the new boat find by call out it's name while "sticking your landing". Reception of said vessel's new possibilities may depend entirely on the Judge's scoring of the routine so atleast you have a few weeks to practice!!!!!

Art wrote:Nightcap wrote:
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Question. Do I liberally apply the duty free rum she will be bringing before or after double bed gymnastics and at what stage should I drop into the conversation the boat?

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*Here is my formula: I recommend 3 to 4 rum drinks upon a well planned, enthusiastic, and romantic seduction to bed, 3 to 5 rum drinks while bed gymnastics ensue, and 2 to 3 more rum drinks as gymnastics subside and you therein carefully whisper-mention an opportunity for your new boat as wifie slowly slips to slumber.* Then I recommend: after next morning gymnastics (a required, fun portion to convincing a wife) that you carefully remention your soon to become new boat in all its glorious attributes that will please her and be sure to mention how happy she seemed when you told her of the boat at end of last eves fun.* Be sure to keep plenty o rum handy and sheets tucked in just incase wifie requires even more convincing during that or the next day!
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*Excellent advice; the only addition I can think of is that perhaps give HER some of the rum also.

From a woman's perspective... sounds like she is on board with this whole project boat thing, so it shouldn't take that much persuading and she is going to be really suspicious if you try too hard to "sell" it to her... just sayin'!*

twiisted71 wrote:
You could break the ice of the new boat find by call out it's name while "sticking your landing". Reception of said vessel's new possibilities may depend entirely on the Judge's scoring of the routine so atleast you have a few weeks to practice!!!!!

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Unfortunately the boat's ame is "Bubba". I kid you not. It will immediately be changed if we go ahead.

She's firmly onboard for the project which we have allowed 3 years for. I am a marine engineer so the technical side is OK and labour here in Vanuatu is around $1.80/hr so not a problem.

The real problem is her fear of debt, something ingrained in her past. Repayments would be easily met so I just have to loosen her up a bit.

Here's a pic

Step back a minute, sell yacht first, then proceed

that boat looks SO COOL.* not to mention the turquoise sea...

TY for pict.* Nice looking craft!* Bubba... not good to yell out during 3 point landing in bed... could put a real damper on things...*wifie might get wrong impression! - LOL* Get It On!*

MVDarlin wrote:
Step back a minute, sell yacht first, then proceed

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I know, I know. Even better advice would be to not own a boat but then where would I be.

This boat might move very quickly as the price has been reduced to 1/3 of its original listing. Desperate vendors and there is an outstanding marina debt.

At present we are entirely debt free, not even credit card so it's not as if we will be over reaching ourselves.

LOL I have a few friends and 2 relatives named Bubba. I don't think I could name anything with lines that purty, Bubba. Bambi, maybe!

Nightcap wrote:
Question. Do I liberally apply the duty free rum she will be bringing before or after double bed gymnastics and at what stage should I drop into the conversation the boat?

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If your question was in jest, then fine. Use Conrad's forumula for success.* Sounds to me like it would solve just about anything.

But if you're actually asking seriously* I suggest that if you don't know your wife well enough to know how best to approach her and have to ask an internet forum full of people who don't know you well enough to even take a stab a guessing your shoe size, I'm thinking that maybe you have more of an issue to deal with than whether or not to buy a boat.

My job takes me all over the world.* But I am always just a phone call (or Skype call) away from my wife.* If we were in your position and we had a decision to make about selling our boat and buying another one, if something came up that had to be acted on fast either one of us would simply call the other one to discuss it.

If for some reason we could not make contact, I think that either one of us knows the other one well enough to do with confidence what the other person would agree to.

It was a bit of jest, My way of saying "yay, I found a boat". She gets back Saturday so will begin the seduction process then.

Regarding that pict of*Bubba... I blew it up 400%

Not much scope at all on that anchor line/chain

Water looks to be pretty clear, with maybe the boats shadow reflecting off the bottom

I*see no hull, running gear, or keel showing, at all, below waterline.

Hummmmm Photo*Shop?*

Nightcap wrote:
It was a bit of jest, My way of saying "yay, I found a boat". She gets back Saturday so will begin the seduction process then.

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Well then, congratulations on finding a boat that meets your requirements.* Hopefully the survey(s) went or will go fine and you'll end up with a boat you'll both have a great time with for a long time to come.

Art wrote:<br style="font-family:Verdana;color:#000000;font-size:8pt;" />
I*see no hull, running gear, or keel showing, at all, below waterline.

Hummmmm Photo*Shop?*

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*I have seen photos similar to this from the south Pacific and sometimes the bottom of the boat is not very well revealed due to the water's refraction. But it could be a Photoshop job, too.* Hard to tell much of the time these days.

I see a shadow under the boat. Photo is taken at Musket Cove in Fiji I think, where anchoring is difficult so it is probably a mooring pennant. I'm not too concerned as I know the boat and it is still in similar condition to when the pic was taken.
Gotta rush to work now and drop a new engine in someone else's boat.

Nightcap,
If that hull is in good condition then it is definately a goer especially for up in your location.
Would you steam it home to Vanuatu after purchase or do some work on her in Fiji before heading out.
What is it a nice open ocean drive of about 600 NM

Anyhow hope it comes off for you.

It's a 500 nm drive which I departed on a year ago today on our 30' yacht, all downwind if you get it right. Hull plating and frames below the waterline are sound but some corrosion in way of the bulwarks. I've got an arc and mig welder, am a certified welder myself and have a good stash of 1/4"plate so not too concerned, as long as the hull integrity is fine which it appears to be. I'll probably do some spot ultrasounding before I leave Fiji but it won't be a deal breaker if there are some thin spots. Probably the only work I might do prior to leaving is cut off the bloody great Kort nozzle that has been on it since it was a trawler. They were probably wondering why it burnt so much diesel.
Thanks for all the replies.

Pineapple Girl wrote:
From a woman's perspective... sounds like she is on board with this whole project boat thing, so it shouldn't take that much persuading and she is going to be really suspicious if you try too hard to "sell" it to her... just sayin'!*

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*Sorry PG, was reading posts real fast in the morning (our time) and pre coffee and missed the crux of what you said.

I can't believe you understand the situation so well after so few tongue in cheek words from me.*

Thank you for your words of wisdom and I will heed them well.

"The real problem is her fear of debt, something ingrained in her past."

Remind her debt can be a temporary tool for rational folks , not a way of life.

Ha ha, great post FF. Sounds like you know us oh so well. I have always told Sue and she has often repeated the same sentiment, that if she was rational she wouldn't be with me.
Hell, I might just say "Bubba" (she knows the boat) and then show her this thread and let you guys and gals do the work for me.

Send picture of wife.

I kind of figured the other stuff was going to happen anyway so I went with Pineapple Girl's advice and it worked a treat. We went to our local Nakamal (kava drinking house) after she got off the plane and I though "perfect, kava will make her agree to anything". Turns out she decided just to have a soda as she had a few glasses of wine on the plane. I casually mentioned Bubba and threw in a couple of things good about it but didn't trowel it on too thick. Less than 24 hrs later at a lovely restaurant for lunch she was starting to see advantages I hadn't seen and has told me to get on a plane and go survey it, make an offer etc. It's listed on an auction site and very likely to be passed in but a small risk it might sell. I can't bid on the site as you have to be an NZ resident. Auction closes in a couple of days with no bids yet.
Thanks PG

Nightcap wrote:
I kind of figured the other stuff was going to happen anyway so I went with Pineapple Girl's advice and it worked a treat. We went to our local Nakamal (kava drinking house) after she got off the plane and I though "perfect, kava will make her agree to anything". Turns out she decided just to have a soda as she had a few glasses of wine on the plane. I casually mentioned Bubba and threw in a couple of things good about it but didn't trowel it on too thick. Less than 24 hrs later at a lovely restaurant for lunch she was starting to see advantages I hadn't seen and has told me to get on a plane and go survey it, make an offer etc. It's listed on an auction site and very likely to be passed in but a small risk it might sell. I can't bid on the site as you have to be an NZ resident. Auction closes in a couple of days with no bids yet.
Thanks PG

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*Wow that is awesome!* Good Luck!