New, unexpected chapter in my life...page one

Howdy~getting divorced at 51, not my choice, anyway, I’m looking to live aboard near our home and travel coastally when I can. I love sailing, but from what I gather, a Trawler is just better for my needs. I can use any and all advice. Never owned a boat, but am on the water a lot, smaller vessels. Budget likely $50k cash purchase with $2k a month budgeted for upkeep, slip, etc.

Well...

Yours is a bit different story.

Most guys living on a boat seem to have been married and chose to live on the boat that they already had during their marriage.

First step is to go into this with your eyes wide open. Boats require more frequent repairs than a land home.

If you want some real insite into the lifestyle I’d join the liveaboard boats facebook group and visit www.liveaboard-boats.com These are sites/groups dedicated only to liveaboards on any style boat.

Then when you narrow things down to a trawler style boat, the guys here are the best at helping you choose one.

I'm wondering why if you love sailing, you would rule out living on a sailboat?

A sailboat wouldn't be much slower than many trawlers and its probably much easier to find an almost turnkey sailboat for 50K.

If you are in Alexandria, VA, make sure you can find a place to berth you boat for live aboard use. Also, look into whether living on a boat, especially in the Winter, suits your intended new life style.

Jim

Sorry to hear about your situation.


Start your search for a slip early. Many marinas shy away from liveaboards, especially in "high rent" districts and in some cases owning the actual slip is the best option. I live in your general area and have limited experience on the water on the upper Potomac but do most of my boating on the Bay and more northern tributaries. I have seen craiglist ads for boats that do include liveaboard status conveying with the purchase of the boat.


The new(ish) Wilson bridge has a significantly higher vertical clearance (76') than the old one so a pretty big sailboat is still a viable option. I once delivered a sailboat under the old bridge with a ~48' mast height and the old bridge was only 50' or 55' and it was unsettling to look up.


Best of luck to you in getting through this.

While foot for foot the trawler has more living space, a sailboat.can be more inexpensive to live on.


One giant factor is how handy you are at repairing ALL boat systems.


$50K and $2K a month puts you at the scrimp and save threshold in my experience aboard 3 different types of liveaboard. So leaning towards an older sailboat around 40 feet would be where I would start my thinking process.


But just a few personal desires can change most everything else except your bottom line.

Don't look at living aboard simply to save $$$. It won't work out as you expect. I speak from experience having just ended my 3rd multi-year liveaboard situation.



It's a life style choice not a financial choice. If you live aboard vs owning a home one unforeseen cost is that you are very likely to get left behind by the rising costs of home purchases.

Wow- Thanks!

Wow! Super responses- Thanks so much! I am a good all around handyman- been in the trades & feel confident I could handle most issues myself save a transmission or engine rebuild. Was thinking Trawler over sail, as it’s a larger, more open space, and from what I can tell, fuel costs are about even with sail/rigging replacement so it’s a financial wash. As I’ve 5-7 years before my kids are independent, this boat will likely see 75% dock time anyway. Plus, the Potomac is a lousy sailing river around DC- anything more than a 4’ draft is stuck in the channel. There are a few live aboard marina options- great advice looking for a conveyance with sale!

Might think about a sailing catamaran. I love the livability of a cat.

Motorsailer is my vote as most sailors motorsail anyway.


But.....sailboats as liveaboatds are like living in a submarine...BUT.... They tend to be easier to heat and cool...with simpler systems if you wish. Sure, not absolutes, but possibilities.


Plus, rigging and sails don't have to be perfect. My friends 42 foot sailboat motors a knot or two faster (huge) and burns 1/2 the fuel because of the waterline length and hull shape If you aren't globetrotting, the sails and rigging can be sub par, just not dangerous and still be useful. A trawler engine if you are running a single better be dang good.

Don’t do it at all - too many serious life changes to be considering adding a boat. Wait about a year and see where you are at in your life, then get back here for some good info.

If you run into limited liveaboard options in Alexandria, you might also consider widening your marina search to nearby states like N. Carolina or Delaware... not only for availability but there might be tax advantages...... and yes my humble two cents is I agree a trawler would be more liveable.... though in that price range you'll have to go back in years a ways...
Have you looked on Yachtworld? ; go to their advanced search and you can enter all kinds of search parameters including region and price


p.s. XsBank makes a good point; a divorce is a traumatic time, might be good to sleep on a big change like this......

I don't know if you are all-in at 50K, or if this is just the money to buy the boat. If you are all in at 50K, my suggestion would be a boat of 35-40K, leaving a contingency for repairs and other unforeseen expenses.

It might not be doable because of the kids, but I have know folks who live-aboarded in Annapolis and commuted to the Washington D.C. area on a daily basis. If you don't want to drive it, there is Maryland Commuter Bus service as an option that goes right downtown D.C. from the Annapolis area.

Good luck and hope you stay an active member of this forum. There is a lot of great advice no matter what type of boat one owns!

Jim

Portage_Bay said:

Don't look at living aboard simply to save $$$. It won't work out as you expect. I speak from experience having just ended my 3rd multi-year liveaboard situation.



It's a life style choice not a financial choice. If you live aboard vs owning a home one unforeseen cost is that you are very likely to get left behind by the rising costs of home purchases.

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Let’s revisit this post.

I have lived aboard for 25+ years. My moorage, maintenance, and insurance cost have always added up to more than I charge for one of my two bedroom apartments. If saving money was the goal I would be better off renting from myself.

I ended up on my boat because I sold my house to have enough down payment for an apartment complex. If I had bought stocks instead of dirt I would have lost ground on being able to buy dirt again.

Living on a boat is a life style choice. Go to the www.liveaboard-boats.com for all the details.

I live cheaper on a boat than I could on land.......in MY situation.


I have done better in mutual funds than any home I have owned..... Again MY situations.


While many follow the "it's only for lifestyle" pattern, it is possible to be an inexpensive way to live..... Depending on YOUR situation.

psneeld said:

I live cheaper on a boat than I could on land.......in MY situation.


I have done better in mutual funds than any home I have owned..... Again MY situations.


While many follow the "it's only for lifestyle" pattern, it is possible to be an inexpensive way to live..... Depending on YOUR situation.

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You are not wrong, BUT.....

Its very hard to have an apples to apples comparison. If you really want to live cheap, buy an old RV and live on the side of the road, way cheaper than a boat.

And if I bought Amazon stock instead of that apartment complex I would be cruising the world in my Nordhavn 120.

Xsbank said:

Don’t do it at all - too many serious life changes to be considering adding a boat. Wait about a year and see where you are at in your life, then get back here for some good info.

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Ditto this advise. Been there done that etc. But, after it’s all said and done, worked out just fine.
Boat shop for a good long while and see whats out there.

tiltrider1 said:

You are not wrong, BUT.....

Its very hard to have an apples to apples comparison. If you really want to live cheap, buy an old RV and live on the side of the road, way cheaper than a boat.

And if I bought Amazon stock instead of that apartment complex I would be cruising the world in my Nordhavn 120.

Click to expand...

Absolutely, but a lot of people think only one version is correct.


Like you said difficult to nail down with so many variables, of which only some are controllable.


If so, focus on them as much as desires if saving money is near the top of the list.

Xsbank said:

Don’t do it at all - too many serious life changes to be considering adding a boat. Wait about a year and see where you are at in your life, then get back here for some good info.

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Above is a very valid point... I'd modify it my taking a year to look at as many boats as possible, maybe both sail & trawler; and explore marinas, location, live aboard ability and $.
Network and talk to live aboard and reevaluate budget given your learnings. Then make an informed decision based your expanded knowledge.

Greetings,
Getting back to the OP...
Mr. SKF. As others have said, not the best time to be considering buying a boat. You freely admit not leaving the dock much so your $2K per month maintenance etc. ($24K/yr) can rent you an awful lot of boats during boating season which in essence might be only 8 months giving you a "rental" budget of $3K/month.
An alternate use of this "spare" money might be vacations with the kids. Rent a boat in the Caribbean...
Not nice to remind you but, at some point you may have to consider a dating budget. A day out on the water just sailing around? Life goes on...

Just throwing some ideas out there and buying a boat is NOT one of them.

If it were me I would seriously look at a motorsailor. The Cape Dory 300 is a great boat for that. Very roomy and liveable. Here is one I looked at and almost bought. It is in your general area. https://www.yachtworld.com/boats/1986/cape-dory-300-motor-sailor-3200799/ Good Luck!

https://www.yachtworld.com/boats/1984/president-sundeck-trawler-3116604/?refSource=standard listing
It took me a year to find my trawler. Asking price is not the sale price. Always negotiate but be reasonable with your offers. Sadly to say estate sales are the best one. The link above is probably a better choice. But remember almost all trawlers drag at least 3.5-4 ft. under the water and Potomac River is shallow most of the marinas with deep water are south of US 301 Port Tobacco, MD.
Sorry and Good Luck.

Great Info one and all!

Man, so nice to stumble upon this forum! Very insightful responses- I sincerely appreciate it! As legal proceedings will take a year or so, I’m taking my time to do the research. Thinking I’ll look outside the immediate DC area- I travel for work so location is flexible. Any opinions on Herrington Harbor in SoMa? They seem to have a strong LA community.

Wifey B: As others have said, slllllllllllooooooooowwwwwww way down. Hold on to the $50k, spend $1k a month for an apartment, spend the other $1k to explore the idea of living on a boat. Maybe charter in six months for a few days or crew for a friend on a trip. Just don't rush. The experiment would be most likely to fail right now and not because it can't work, but with just the stress and turmoil you're already under. Actually, spend part of the $2k on counseling right now. Divorce is the same as going through the death of a loved one. It's the death of a marriage and you must allow yourself the time to mourn.

Also, while the $50k might get you a boat, you'll be hard pressed to do any boating and to live aboard on the $2k a month. Do you really want to rush and put the cash on a rapidly depreciating asset?

Follow along here and read and think and dream. Look at boats but not as a serious buyer yet. Think carefully of how you want to spend the years while the kids are still with you and then those after.

Best of luck and I hope a year or two from now if it's the right thing, you'll be on the water. I'm wishing and hoping for you, but just don't do it impulsively. Recently divorced people tend to make a lot of bad choices whether it's jumping into purchases or moves or relationships.

HH is a nice marina with great access to close cruising destinations. The southern location has quicker access to the Bay and is more resort like. The commute to DC is about 45 min - 1 hr. Easy half to full day's run to St Michael's, Oxford, Rock Hall, Cambridge, Annapolis, Tilghman Island and Solomon's Island. Much better cruising options than DC in my opinion.

Chartering is not a bad idea, and for a different reason than what's been mentioned. You said you had not owned a significant size boat before? The issue is insurance. if you get say a 30 to 40' trawler all of a sudden, you will have to acquire insurance and the carriers have gotten pretty restrictive after all the storms and claims of the past 2-3 years. They will want to know what training and experience you have. Chartering could help build your experience resume. Even with that, they might require you have X hours or days with a training captain that will sign off on your proficiency.
In fact you could probably chat with an independent insurance agent ahead of buying a boat to get some advance tips. There might be some agents on this forum, or you could join an association like MTOA who have ties to agents and discounts for members.

Lots of advice, most good.

I was divorced at 52. I tried the cheap house - apartment rental, wish I could of found one for $1,000. (New place probably needs everything furniture to lawnmower). I hated every moment of it, the quiet home, need to make new friends....

Then I purchased a trawler gave away the stuff and took off for a year and cruised and loved it. Made lots of new boating friends... keep busy less time to dwell on stuff.

During my year I found out that I wanted to relocate. No children at home, my job was flexible, jobs are usually everywhere... a career or owning a business could be very challenging. But living on a Boat would really sink in New England, snow shoveling on a boat is tough on the Brightwork. ;-)

I found the major change and challenges in taking care of the boat and new daily circumstances helped me grow after the divorce.

Your results may be different.

I'm on the side of change is good and I think it will open up many more friendships then on land. I also think a sailboat is a better way to go from a cost standpoint. Many old trawlers could be a real can of worms with fuel tank issues, soft coring etc, not to say sailboats are immune, just issues not as prevalent.

All the best and enjoy the new lease on life!

Sofa King Fishy said:

...budget likely $50k cash purchase with $2k a month budgeted for upkeep, slip, etc.

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Sorry to hear about your break-up :-(

I think that a ~$50K boat at ~ 40 feet (smallest liveaboard IMO) will cost more that $2K per month for slip, upkeep, hull cleaning, imsurance. maintenance, etc.

I woild budget ~ $3,000 per month.

One thought...get a >>SINGLE<< engine boat. Engine maintenence will cost you less than 1/2 as much as twins...

Another vote for the lifestyle approach. Make sure you are leaving behind the unlivable part of your past.


Some people rent dock space at private residences. Maybe you can rent living space with optional dock space.


Sometimes while traveling for work I would extend my travel time for some "me time". The greenway tour of North America has appeal to me now.

Similar situation here. I chose to buy an older boat during divorce proceedings that needed a lot of work, bought it, spent a bit of time on it on the water knowing I'd have to pull it out to do the bigger projects and have spent time doing that work with it on the hard, doing all of my own work.

This has been a good effort for me as I have learned so much about boats and the lifestyle without actually having committed a large amount of money to it. Launch will come soon enough and then the next phase of actually living on the boat will be explored. If I love it, I will likely end up getting a newer, nicer boat at some point but if I don't I have gained some new skills in repair and upgrade for a minimal cost financially.

Certainly not the path for most, but I'm generally happy with it for myself.

If you want more details about the legal aspects of divorce, custody and boats PM me for any questions about my experiences. I'm in California so things might be a bit different, but first hand experience might be useful.