Load shedding is one term. I may have participated on that thread you mentioned. As I recall, no good solutions were found. These things tend to have very specialized, often industrial, applications. And big price tags.
So I do the 30A dance.
One huge help has been a selector switch so I can choose to power my water heater from either of the two 30A legs I have coming into my panel. If I'm not using heat or air conditioning, I can power it from that side. If I am, I'll switch it to the other side.
It also has an "off" selection, so I can flip it off long enough to run the range or whatever, then flip it back on when done.
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