I'm Losing My Desire for Boating....

What A beautiful Boat Dave! Perfect for the New England coast.

Walt,

You haven't talked too much about how your wife fits into all this except she apparently doesn't like boating. Has she always been uninterested in boating or is this something that recently occured?

Boating and especially cruising is far more enjoyed by two. Is there something you can do to rekindle her interest? Bigger boat, better sleeping accomodations. New cruising grounds. After owning 3 sailboats I vowed never to sleep in a V berth again.

And of course marriage is about compromise. 5 days a week with the horses should allow you one weekend a month with her on the boat.

But in the end perhaps you've just burned out and need a break. That's OK too.

Sailor of Fortune wrote:
What A beautiful Boat Dave! Perfect for the New England coast.

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But not so perfect during the six week long ,+/-, spring outfitting (sanding, painting, varnishing, wood repair) when one's energy level is increasingly being adversely affected by age, one's balance on the scaffolding is geting iffy (fell off a couple of times in the last two years of ownership) and one cannot afford to have a yard keep her up. Not to mention two aging, no longer manufactured engines.

Gee Walt:

You lobbed a bomb into the forum and then beat feet to hide out incommunicado in the mountains.

You

My wife and I use to raise Morgan horses.* Then she had open heart surgery and I decided I did not want any horse accidents on top of the surgery.* She has recovered and been given a clean bill of health so we decided to part with our Morgan's, harder for me than her, and go cruising.* We have not looked back.* The new homes for my horses send us pictures and updates often and I actually get to visit them too.* You'll figure out what works for you and your wife.*

*

Best Wishes,

*

Keith Olive

Willard 30

Walt,

*I would ask to be put on your list of possible recipients of THE GIFT.

Butt. She is just to nice a boat. To my mind*owning on a boat is a 75% X 25% proposition. I have never owned anything new in my life (of any consequence.) I have always been the take something broken or worn out and bring it back to life again kind of guy. Always working out of pocket. Using bits and bartered pieces to make it my own.

I see myself as sort of Dick Van Dike in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang using what ever I could find to put my boat together. People have asked my why I want to work on an old boat all the time. My answer is. It keeps me young. Or did you ever have a fort or tree house when you were a kid. To me it's the same thing.

To me it has always been the vessel*not the voyage.

So in short I would say sell her.(Or give her away)*and buy something to fix.

You*could be surprised what an obsession something like that could be.*

I don't think I will ever get tired of working on boats.

SD


-- Edited by skipperdude on Monday 17th of October 2011 09:33:18 AM

"I don't think I will ever get tired of working on boats."

If you would like to vacation in CT or FL , we have a bunk for you!

"I don't think I will ever get tired of CRUISING in boats."

"WORK" , that's a 4 letter word!

dwhatty wrote:
Gee Walt:

You lobbed a bomb into the forum and then beat feet to hide out incommunicado in the mountains.

You

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*David, interesting that old boat of yours.* Being an Island Gypsy man, and coming out of a Halvorsen yard, do you see the resemblance between that old vessel and the design style of the early Halvorsen 38's of similar vintage, and did that influence your choice at all, or is it just coincidence.

http://www.boatpoint.com.au/boats-for-sale/boatdetails.aspx?R=11474886

Coming back to Walt's predicament for a moment, I think the main issue, although Walt did not want to labour the point, is he is tired of doing his boating alone.* That being the case, I doubt just moving its location is likely to help.

It is a problem probably quite a few of us share here on the forum, but we don't tend to trumpet it about, because it is a personal thing, and we have to respect the fact that wives will not always share the passion for boating we do.* I think those who have spouses who are as keen or keener than they are over the boating thing are extremely lucky, and also probably in the minority if we were brutally honest.* So guys, if you are one of those, then rejoice and be glad....for the rest of us who have partners who are somewhat less enthused, take heart, you are not alone, and one way to help mitigate that is to develop some sort of connection with others in the 'same boat', so to speak, and have the odd get-together on each other's boats. This is something we Queenslanders have done a bit of in the past, and will try to keep doing if we can.* There must be some on here who are in Walt's locality, so maybe you want to try and link up more often.* Get each others cell phone numbers via PMs through this forum, and set some boat sharing outings up...that sort of thing.* Might help fan the flame a bit Walt...?* But please don't just give her away...


-- Edited by Peter B on Tuesday 18th of October 2011 07:40:01 AM

Peter B wrote:dwhatty wrote:
Gee Walt:

You lobbed a bomb into the forum and then beat feet to hide out incommunicado in the mountains.

You

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*David, interesting that old boat of yours.* Being an Island Gypsy man, and coming out of a Halvorsen yard, do you see the resemblance between that old vessel and the design style of the early Halvorsen 38's of similar vintage, and did that influence your choice at all, or is it just coincidence.

http://www.boatpoint.com.au/boats-for-sale/boatdetails.aspx?R=11474886

Coming back to Walt's predicament for a moment, I think the main issue, although Walt did not want to labour the point, is he is tired of doing his boating alone.* That being the case, I doubt just moving its location is likely to help.

It is a problem probably quite a few of us share here on the forum, but we don't tend to trumpet it about, because it is a personal thing, and we have to respect the fact that wives will not always share the passion for boating we do.* I think those who have spouses who are as keen or keener than they are over the boating thing are extremely lucky, and also probably in the minority if we were brutally honest.* So guys, if you are one of those, then rejoice and be glad....for the rest of us who have partners who are somewhat less enthused, take heart, you are not alone, and one way to help mitigate that is to develop some sort of connection with others in the 'same boat', so to speak, and have the odd get-together on each other's boats. This is something we Queenslanders have done a bit of in the past, and will try to keep doing if we can.* There must be some on here who are in Walt's locality, so maybe you want to try and link up more often.* Get each others cell phone numbers via PMs through this forum, and set some boat sharing outings up...that sort of thing.* Might help fan the flame a bit Walt...?* But please don't just give her away..

*

*

Peter, Your post along with others on this thread have reminded me of what a great forum this is. While we are internet "acquaintances", it is a little more than that. The open discussion in an effort to help Walt, shows more the helping out of a friend.*

Sure, many of us are in somewhat of "the same boat" so to speak.* Partnerships are about trade offs.* However, moving the boat to different locations does have the benefit of reviving interest for both partners.* New harbors, restaurants, cultures, and scenery can pick up the excitement.*

Sometimes I get really mad at my Admiral because she started all this boat thing by herself. I had let go of anything in the boat having, fixing, or even looking way back in the 80's, and when we had our first three-year posting in Miami, she says "Hey, are we going to do the Miami thing or not"? I said: What do you mean the Miami thing? She says: You know.....buying a boat and enjoying the water. I responded: NO FRICKEN WAY......NO BOAT! Six weeks later I bought a Bayliner 2452, thinking that a few weeks on that boat would change her mind about doing the boat thing. Well, you know the rest of the story. Now, it's me that wants to do the cruising and she's worried that she'll go crazy being away from dirt. This is all her fault. I'm up to my neck in redoing every system on this boat, and now she says "I dunno". *Walt...my advice to you is to stay up in the mountains.**


-- Edited by healhustler on Tuesday 18th of October 2011 09:02:40 AM

I think*he should*just stop screwing around and give the boat to someone...

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Peter B wrote:I think the main issue, although Walt did not want to labour the point, is he is tired of doing his boating alone..... we have to respect the fact that wives will not always share the passion for boating we do.* I think those who have spouses who are as keen or keener than they are over the boating thing are extremely lucky, and also probably in the minority if we were brutally honest.

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I think you bring up a very important aspect of any activity, not just boating.* While it's not necessary that one's partner join in every one of our activites on an equally participatory basis, I think they at least need to be enthusiastic about our particiapation.* Every relationshp is different, but I think a basic sharing of interests is pretty important to the success of the relationship.

I'm lucky in that my wife enjoys equally--- and partcipates equally--- in just about all of our "major" activities, be it flying a floatplane, running narrowboats in the UK, fishing with our Arima, or using--- and maintaining--- our Grand Banks.* Thanks to her father she loves being on the water and has sat for several hours simply watching a family of otters play in and out of the water.

Were she not into all these things, it's somewhat doubtful I would have gotten into them on my own with the exception of the floatplane flying.

Were she to lose interest or simply not be here anymore, I'm not sure if I would continue boating, at least as far as the GB is concerned.

In Walt's case, I can see where both the lack of new places to explore in his part of the world and an unenthusiastic boating partner could cause one to start re-thinking the whole boating thing.* Moving the boat somewhere else would solve the "no new places" problem, but depending on his attitude toward taking the boat out, it might not solve the "nobody to go boating with" problem.* I have no idea if he likes the idea of single-handing the boat.* I don't think I would--- a lot of my enjoyment of boating comes from sharing it with someone.

It's certainly possible to go boating with one or more good friends if one's partner isn't all that enthusiastic about boating.* I have four very good friends who would likely take my wife's place in terms of using the GB with me.* The cruises would certainly be different but they would still be enjoyable I think.* However..... one lives in North Carolina, one lives in Virgina, one lives in France, and one lives in England.* And even if they were here, a big part of thee enjoyment and value of our GB comes from our using it year-round as our weekend cabin.* It's nice to go up to Bellingham in the winter with the wind howling and Bellingham Bay mass of whitecaps and sit on the boat in the harbor and share the experience of being secure in the weather.* It's not the sort of thing I can imagine doing with any of my friends.

But everyone's different and in the end the only person who can resolve Walt's dilema is Walt.* What we may think is an obvious solution may not be a solution at all in his and his wife's view.

But Peter is right on the money, I think, in his assessment of boating needing to be more than a solo occupation for the majority of us.

Think of the publicity the forum could get if he gave the boat away.... We could get many new members from all the news stations covering the crazy event..*Maybe some younger folks. Those that have many years left before the senility sets in..... Walt might even end up on 60 minutes, or better yet Jerry Springer !
*
Just think, waking*up in the morning to find CNN camped out in your front yard....
*
He could give it to Goodwill, get a tax deduction. That way he would be giving a mother a job. That's what the billboards around here say,,,,,
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In regard to my Admiral and boating, I am a very lucky man. She love's being on the water and cruising, can run the boat as well as I can, didn't want to sell our old boat but finally agreed, found the new one and demanded that I come look at it and paid almost all of the purchase price out of her own pocket. And one boat is not enough for her as she has her own sailboat (a daysailer). When I was going to sell one MG when I bought another, she said no and took over the original one. She also loves hiking and skiing but, unfortunately, I do not and that is a bit of a friction point.

dwhatty wrote:
In regard to my Admiral and boating, I am a very lucky man....

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That makes 2 of us.* In 1998 we quit our jobs and went sailing for 3-5 years or for as long as we were still having fun.* We returned to the US*in 2005 to take care of aging parents.* At the same time Lena decided she wanted to go back to work*"since there is only one captain on a boat".* We sold the sailboat and Lena went to work in October.* Come January, she says, "Can we find another boat"?.* We went 1 year and 8 days between boats.* We have been a crew of 2 for over 40 countries.* Life is good!

Larry M wrote:Life is good!

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*Yes, it is.

dwhatty wrote:
She also loves hiking and skiing but, unfortunately, I do not and that is a bit of a friction point.

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*Buy a horse.* That will take care of the hiking issue for you--- the horse does the work.**We'd*have a couple of them if we didn't have all this other stuff going on.

Can't offer any suggestions about the skiiing, though.

Marin wrote:dwhatty wrote:
She also loves hiking and skiing but, unfortunately, I do not and that is a bit of a friction point.

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*Buy a horse.* That will take care of the hiking issue for you--- the horse does the work.**We'd*have a couple of them if we didn't have all this other stuff going on.

Can't offer any suggestions about the skiiing, though.

She's had a horse. Years ago. I finally got permission two years ago to donate her umpteen year old rotten saddle to the town dump.

Can't interest her in a snowmobile or ATV. She's old school and believes god gave one muscles to move about the earth under one's own power. She bought me a pair of snow shoes two years ago and they still have the store tags on them.

Walt, on the other hand, has "Henry" in his life, his wife's horse, which may be part of Walt's problem. Although both "Henry" and, particularly, Walt's lovely and charming wife are well worth keeping.

I'm getting worried about Walt. Anybody got his phone numbers? I talked to him about 3 years ago but don't have his number. WALT *...make a post......

OK Walt I see you were on 8 hrs ago. Tell us how you're do'in. Lot'a guys wonder'in what you're do'in way out in the desert. We're talk'in and think'in for you Walt.


-- Edited by nomadwilly on Tuesday 18th of October 2011 06:27:36 PM

He's probably just incommunicado in Sedona, attending some New Age covergence with his crystals and incense. I can just picture him with a headband, sandals and bell bottom pants!! Once he centers his chi, we'll hear back from him. I wouldn't want to ruin the moment with a phone call.

dwhatty wrote:
She's had a horse.

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*The horse isn't for her, it's for you.* So she can clamber all over the countryside excercising her muscles and you can clamber all over right along with her but excercising the horse's muscles.* So you have togetherness with no effort on your part.

These people who walk hundreds of miles on the Appalacian or Great Divide trails toally*baffle me.* I can understand, appreciate, and relate to*the part about the wonderful scenery, the comuning with nature, the experiencing the greatness of the environment.* I agree with all that 100%.* But*huffing and puffing and aching one's way up a steep grade?* How dumb is that?**

If *God or whoever had intended us walk sure-footed through this world and not trip on roots or lose our balance stepping over a log*and fall flat on our faces and break arms and wrists and stuff, he'd of had us walking on four legs.* Or at least three.* But no, we have just two.* Which is the PERFECT arrangement for straddling horses, camels, elephants, llamas, donkeys and mules.* Why anyone would choose to walk all that way, and carry a ton of crap to boot, is beyond me.* The horse removes the huffing and puffing and aching and tripping and breaking wrists and spraining ankles all in one go.

Fabulous device, the horse.* Get one and save your marriage.

Marin wrote:dwhatty wrote:
She's had a horse.

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*The horse isn't for her, it's for you.

Sorry. Been there. Done that. Took on two nags as a favor to a riding stable friend as "free" (i.e. I wouldn't have to pay for the use of them as long as i cared for them) Fall through Spring boarders 35 years ago. Thought it would be fun and I could ride them when the spirit moved me. Built a shed for them. Then currying, acquiring and feeding hay/oats, watering early in the morning and in the evening in 0-10 degrees F with the wind howling and having to break a path through the snow drifts, carving out Thrush from hooves, other ailments, farrier and vet costs, saddle soaping tack. The work involved was not worth the couple of nice rides I got in. Sound like boating? Naw.

I have been reading this forum for well over a year now. We have been shopping for a trawler for about that time. And this forum is great to get good information and advise without even posting. I have been boating since before I could walk. I feel I am a lucky man for having a dad who was a sailor. Being raised close to San Diego, we boated often. Now, I guess I have finally something to pass along so I signed in.

*

I have had many sailboats in my life. I have sold some and given others away. I lived on the Chesapeake Bay for 15 years and raised my kids on the water there. It was a great place to do that. We went through many boats as our kids grew up. Sometimes they would just outgrow a boat. I found that the local sailing club (for kids) needed boats for the local kids to use for free (no charge for the kids to use the boats and the training was also free). So when a boat was no longer used, it got donated. I never regreated it. Well, not until I had a boat that I mostly used myself. A nice little (23 foot) sailboat. It was a great boat. I used it daily. When the kids grew up and moved on with their lives. My wife and I moved back to the West Coast. We donated the boat before moving back West. I have to say it was the hardest thing I have given away. I knew that moving the boat would cost more then replacing it here. But, I still miss that little boat and wish it was sitting at the dock just about everyday so I could just sit and listen to the water lap on the hull with a nice relaxing drink.

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Well anyway, what I am getting at here is that I think you should keep your boat. It looks like you have worked for years to get the boat you love and have used. It is a beautiful boat. If one year you are not wanting to use it, SO WHAT. Go and do something else and the boat will be waiting for you when you want someplace nice to sit and listen to the water lap on the hull. Take your time before you just toss in the towel and say your done.

FlyWright wrote:
He's probably just incommunicado in Sedona, attending some New Age covergence with his crystals and incense. I can just picture him with a headband, sandals and bell bottom pants!! Once he centers his chi, we'll hear back from him. I wouldn't want to ruin the moment with a phone call.

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*I think that you nailed it. That's exactly what he's doing. Or maybe off occupying Wall Street?

About page 2 I figured this guy was full of ****. Come on guy's, free boat? Did I give my first car away? NO! Life is just that, Walt is trying to get some poor "woe is me" internet garbage and he got it. David spotted it but has to much of a post count to call it like it is. Not me! I don't appreciate it. I come here for help on my restoration and super great advice which I get on almost a daily basis. Walt, grow a pair. Sell the boat or leave the wife. I work 10 hours days and me and my family work on the boat when we have time. Give the boat to your church or what ever and leave, if that's what you want. Otherwise come down to Biloxi with your boat, your wife and a case of beer and we'll have a good time. Life is to short to watch your own funeral.

"Or maybe off occupying Wall Street"

:above: :thumbsup:

ray: :nirvana:


-- Edited by FlyWright on Tuesday 18th of October 2011 08:40:31 PM

swampu wrote:
Life is to short to watch your own funeral.

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Speaking of which, have you all ever seen the movie "Get Low," which is about just that?* Great movie with a great cast.

swampu wrote:
About page 2 I figured this guy was full of ****. Come on guy's, free boat? Did I give my first car away? NO! Life is just that, Walt is trying to get some poor "woe is me" internet garbage and he got it. David spotted it but has to much of a post count to call it like it is. Not me! I don't appreciate it. I come here for help on my restoration and super great advice which I get on almost a daily basis. Walt, grow a pair. Sell the boat or leave the wife. I work 10 hours days and me and my family work on the boat when we have time. Give the boat to your church or what ever and leave, if that's what you want. Otherwise come down to Biloxi with your boat, your wife and a case of beer and we'll have a good time. Life is to short to watch your own funeral.

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*I think you've got this one wrong, swampu.* I only met Walt once, so I don't know him like a life long friend, but I doubt you'd find a more sincere, honest guy.* He tells it like he sees it...he won't blow smoke up your skirt.* I think he's being very open with us about his experience and might be feeling a bit down at the realization that it might be time to move on.* I think I'll be pretty damn depressed when that day comes for me...and it will come for all of us sooner or later.

What impresses me is the consideration, encouragement and sound advice from a bunch of folks who, more or less, just know each other electronically.* You guys have a lot of class!!!


-- Edited by FlyWright on Tuesday 18th of October 2011 08:51:06 PM

I hope I have it wrong...I haven't met Walt but the vessel is very nice and a classic and looks to be in very good shape. I just can't imagine having gone though all that to make it that nice and just hanging it out to dry on the internet. I waited 6 pages to respond and the only thing I find fishy is the fact that if that were me and I was in his shoes I would take one last cruise and give it to someone along the way. I've had ups and downs in every relationship but you just don't give it away. Too big of a part of life to give away on the net. Maybe if my girl wasn't built in the 50's and 65' long I wouldn't be so aggravated. Walt, you've got to much time in to just throw her away and make no mistake that's what you will be doing.

swampu wrote:
About page 2 I figured this guy was full of ****. Come on guy's, free boat? Did I give my first car away? NO! Life is just that, Walt is trying to get some poor "woe is me" internet garbage and he got it. David spotted it but has to much of a post count to call it like it is. Not me! I don't appreciate it. I come here for help on my restoration and super great advice which I get on almost a daily basis. Walt, grow a pair. Sell the boat or leave the wife. I work 10 hours days and me and my family work on the boat when we have time. Give the boat to your church or what ever and leave, if that's what you want. Otherwise come down to Biloxi with your boat, your wife and a case of beer and we'll have a good time. Life is to short to watch your own funeral.

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*Swampu, from what I know of Walt, I seems you have totally misread him.* He is not looking for or need sympathy.* If he chooses to give his boat away, he can easily do it-----although I hope he chooses to stay in boating.* Walt has no need to play mind games.* I hope you change your opinion of him.


-- Edited by Moonstruck on Tuesday 18th of October 2011 09:02:32 PM