Dreams for Ted and his wife.
It's hard to dream in such difficult times but I do have a couple that I dream for the two of you. For her, my dream is peace and minimal pain and suffering, comfort, memories that still make her smile till the end, love for you, love from you. The best care possible in making this time as good as it can be, so that she can still derive pleasure and joy even in the most adverse of conditions. It's your kiss, your holding her hand. It's also knowing from you that you'll somehow be ok and it's ok for her to let go when it's time. Finally, it's relief and further peace.
For you, it's the ability to still focus on the woman you love with all the memories, with all the passion, and in spite of being witness to that you hoped to never see. It's comfort that you have given her the best of you and will do so until the end. It's comfort and support in making the best decisions during this time. Then, finally is solace as you say good bye and the ability to live in her memory in spite of the grief you will feel. It's carrying the love and memories and honoring her by carrying on with life to your best ability. It's the ability to treasure all the good over the pain of the end.
I can't imagine what the two of you are facing, but I dream that together you'll face it as well as possible. Just the thoughts brought tears to my eyes and, yet, I know one day my wife and I will face similar. We've made commitments to each other as to how we'll handle it, but I do know contemplating those times is so much easier than it will be in the time. However, we've always brought each other strength and I dream that you and your wife will be able to do the same for each other as you face this together.
Do use all the services hospice has to offer for both of you. Don't try to handle it alone.
Thanks for having the courage to share with us. Hopefully we can all provide some respite. Dreams sadly change, but I hope you never stop dreaming.