Sarcasm & Intolerance

Hello Folks
Like many here, lately I was a victim of sarcastic cheap comments over a thread. Some of them were really abusive and rather offensive.

I prefer to talk about this than simply leave the forum where I have been for so much time and where I have made so many friends.

Therefore...

Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don't say it mean! Many people use sarcasm to express the exact opposite of that they mean. It is common to hear remarks such as, "Glad you could make it ", to someone who arrives late, or "Oh, that's real nice color, to paint your floor!" when someone talks about a dark color of hull. Neither statement is the truth, and both are sarcastic. Sarcasm is now viewed as the simplest form of bullying, because it makes fun of the other person, or is meant to make them uncomfortable in an indirect manner. The word sarcasm originated from the Greek meaning of ripping flesh. When you eliminate sarcasm in your comments, you will see a great improvement in all of Trawler Forum family relationships.

About intolerance, many people believe racial, religious or gender disparities are a major problem in the global world of today. Since our society is made up with various cultures, religions, and ethnic groups, it is bound to be diverse and multicultural. As globalization has sped up by the fast growing technology, the understanding, tolerance, respect and appreciation of each other's culture become an imperative for us to live peacefully as global citizens.

Everyone has a culture and cultures are learned, shared and adapted. Culture is a way of perceiving, believing, evaluating and behaving (Goodnough, 1987). Culture is so much part of us that we do not realize that not everyone shares our culture, its attributes, or its manifestations. Thus, learning about other cultures with their beliefs, values, behaviors, customs and traditions becomes one important step for us to take towards peace and harmony in the world.

Being tolerant is to accept diversity in all its forms and shapes. In this Forum we are a diversity mess of people with the same dreams, and the same love for a certain life style or type of boat.

Let's all respect each other

Rgs
Portuguese

Good post.
Some times we need to be reminded. You are right that there are many different groups of people here from many parts of the world and not all of us think or react the same.

That can be made worse on the internet because inflection, tone, facial expression which clues us in in conversation is absent here so even what was meant as a mild comment can appear to be quite rude.

Here, here. Well said.

Port, I saw that thread and immediately thought that some of the remarks were uncalled for.


I see and hear things that are unacceptable every day and most of it come from lack of understanding about what another race or religion finds acceptable or insulting.


In my own life I am with a lady who is one of nine sisters of Indian descent from Guyana who were raised Catholic. The nine Brothers in law are Hindu (3), Muslim (3), Portugese (1), Finland (1) and I am from the east coast of Canada. We celebrate many holidays from all religions and we have no problem serving, Ham, turkey and Beef buffet style at Thanksgiving. Take what you want according to your faith, some even cheat a bit from time to time.
We are fortunate to live in Southern Ontario, which is very diverse, but even here we see small insights of close-mindedness people.


Don't consider leaving, your post is appropriate, we are all boaters in the end.


Cheers

I find adding just three or four people to my ignore list makes a huge difference in lifting the tone of this forum for me. Life is too short to tolerate nastiness on the 'net when you can easily avoid it, at least here. Still, three or four ignores out of dozens of active members and hundreds of occasional contributors is pretty good.

I agree with the above. Port, I've always found your contributions insightful. Taking a TF break once in a while helps too. There's more to life than trolling forums.

Portuguese said:

Hello Folks
Like many here, lately I was a victim of sarcastic cheap comments over a thread. Some of them were really abusive and rather offensive.

I prefer to talk about this than simply leave the forum where I have been for so much time and where I have made so many friends.

Therefore...

Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don't say it mean!
Being tolerant is to accept diversity in all its forms and shapes. In this Forum we are a diversity mess of people with the same dreams, and the same love for a certain life style or type of boat.

Let's all respect each other

Rgs
Portuguese

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Like he said...I couldn't put it better, Port.

Sorry your got your feelings hurt. I'm kind of new on this forum and hope to contribute in a positive way.

kthoennes said:

I find adding just three or four people to my ignore list makes a huge difference in lifting the tone of this forum for me. Life is too short to tolerate nastiness on the 'net when you can easily avoid it, at least here. Still, three or four ignores out of dozens of active members and hundreds of occasional contributors is pretty good.

Click to expand...

Great advice right there. I put one on ignore the other day, he didn't post often but they where typically booze fueled rants.

Fernando you stick around, no fair leaving. Just put the pricks on your ignore list, private message me if you need help doing so and I'll walk you through the process. It's quite easy.

It was my Dad who told me " Better to keep your mouth shut and keep people wondering, then yapping and leaving no doubt"!

Thank you sir for reminding those who have a hard time yapping befor they think!

I didn't see the thread, and try really hard in my personal life not to treat others poorly, but at least in business my biggest problem is people not getting along and being too easily offended. So, when I perceive a slight against myself, I try really hard to understand that it was not intended in any offensive way, to recognize that I have been guilty of worse, to acknowledge that criticism of my comments was warranted, and to happily suck it up. Not always easy to do. In fact, it's never easy. Still, my advice to OP is to get some thicker skin.

You know I recently made a snarky retaliatory remark that I am pretty ashamed of. Sometimes it's best to stop and think before pushing that send button. Apologies to all.

Well said Portuguese. There is such a preponderance of good people here it makes a tiny minority of the other kind stand out the more.
Some are smart enough to do it in a way the Mods don`t get involved. You can formally put the offenders on "ignore", or step dismissively around their posts. Whatever you choose, stay on board, or we lose the benefit of your company, and the tiny minority wins.

Which thread? Link?

MYTraveler said:

Still, my advice to OP is to get some thicker skin.

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Sorry, I don't think it has anything to do with TF members needing thicker skin. The anonymity of a keyboard allows some folks to post things that would get them punched out if they said them face to face. Ranting and lecturing are unfortnate byproducts of most public forums and everybody gets that. Personal insults are another matter. Telling someone they're clueless or ignorant or ridiculing them in a public forum strikes me as a chickens**t thing to do unless I'm willing to say the same things in person.

I did not see the thread either. I can tell you that as a former moderator of a world wide forum, this is not uncommon. With that said, some comments are taken the wrong way because it is a forum. Some come across as nasty while the poster didn't really mean it that way, and then there are posters that are just plain nasty.

I am sorry this happened to you and hope you continue to enjoy the really nice and helpful people here.

The thread the OP is talking about was definitely about as close to having posts removed as I have seen in awhile.


Someone posted the other day (and many others thru the years)...if you are going to use some good natured, kidding type sarcasm....a smiley face sure makes it clear you are being good natured about it.


On the other hand, I have seen people outraged about a misread comment where the mods have jumped in and said that the post didn't mean the way it was taken (the OPs thread not an example).


It is hard because there are those that will have shouting matches and near fistfights with friends or even spouses and walk away the next minute smiling and never look back...where others never engage like that and are pretty vocal in saying that kind of behavior is deplorable.


As pointed out, people are different, especially here. Like any public gathering, you are going to get a lot of different personalities so it is going to be rare that the crowd will always acts the way you want it to.

I posted a sarcastic response to your thread about Militec and I apologize for offending you. You were sharing information with a group for everyone's benefit and that should be appreciated rather than mocked. I am sorry.

That said please be prepared for a technical discussion of any product claims, personal observations and reviews of boat components and products. There are a lot of systems at work on every boat and it is in a mariner's interest to understand how they work. When a claim that is physically impossible (an increase in boat speed at the same engine revolution rate attributed to a product in a bottle) is shared, I would expect the error in logic to be pointed out. It should have been done in a more polite way with a complete explanation for your benefit and should not have descended to insulting each other's intelligence and spelling skills.

If I walked up to some guys standing around a dock and told them that my red shirt makes my boat faster, I would expect a chuckle at my expense. Again, I am truly sorry for offending you.

http://www.trawlerforum.com/forums/s32/militec-me-28611.html

I didn't know which thread either, but reading this one this morning, I'll place my bet here.

If that was the thread, I have to agree somewhat that there is nothing in there to cause offence unless those offended have a really serious inferiority complex.

Personally I don't have that much problem with sarcasm, although opinions may differ. I often come across a bit 'sarcastic' myself. It's just the way I type and/or speak.

Now for the deliberately sarcastic comments, Again I don't have that much problems with them as long as they're 'in good fun'. Trying to burn someone down again and again, like in the Militec thread, even after they explained themself is cheap and honestly a bit sad.

Also it helps a lot when making a sarcastic comment to not just make it for the sake of being sarcastic but offer some meaningfull comment after. For instance when one might be asking about how to clean the propellor of his boat you might say:

'Throw a handfull of sand over the stern when you're reversing.'

And leave it at that, or you could offer some usefull advice after like;

'Throw a handfull of sand over the stern when you're reversing, and then offer some usefull advice like, 'best to clean it with a piece os scotch-bright, best to use 'this or that' product and so on.'

You'll come across a lot more helpfull and I have found that people tend to take your sarcastic comment a bit lighter if you were actually helpfull.

Then again these are just my 2 cents.

Regards,

Thom

I'm not a fan of political correctness, nor am I a fan of the current trend of equating almost everything to bullying and insensitivity. People need to grow up and not play the victim.

Specifics- the OP made some statements that sparked conversation; some of that conversation challenged the OP's statement/claims. The OP feels bullied because of said challenges to the OP's claims, including some sarcastic comments.

That's called life in the real world, and it's healthy and OK. I don't believe for a second that ill will was meant towards the OP at all. In reading the thread, I see quite the opposite; members that feel comfortable enough to offer their opinions in a lightly sarcastic manner as friends might do over a beer at a bar.

To me, this is a healthy exchange. It's OK to agree to disagree. There is an over abundance of political correctness rampant today-it'd be a shame to see this forum fall victim to this inane practice.

Greetings,
Mr. P. EXCELLENT post! Thanks.

Pau Hana said:

I'm not a fan of political correctness, nor am I a fan of the current trend of equating almost everything to bullying and insensitivity. People need to grow up and not play the victim.

Specifics- the OP made some statements that sparked conversation; some of that conversation challenged the OP's statement/claims. The OP feels bullied because of said challenges to the OP's claims, including some sarcastic comments.

That's called life in the real world, and it's healthy and OK. I don't believe for a second that ill will was meant towards the OP at all. In reading the thread, I see quite the opposite; members that feel comfortable enough to offer their opinions in a lightly sarcastic manner as friends might do over a beer at a bar.

To me, this is a healthy exchange. It's OK to agree to disagree. There is an over abundance of political correctness rampant today-it'd be a shame to see this forum fall victim to this inane practice.

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Yes, thin skin attitudes help nobody.

I spent some time with Mr P last month. My wife and I both agreed he has his feet well planted on firm ground. Agree with RT, especially after meeting Mr P.

Worth remembering too, additives and claims on any forum will raise disparaging comments. And then we have the poor fellow who helped out his son with a fuel burn science project. Militec rhetoric was mild in comparison but the Dad stuck to his guns, bringing out the true Guru - Tony Athens.

I had not looked at the other thread until this thread started. There was only one post I found especially bad and it just wasn't inteligent/intelligent and I believed it to be inappropriate. On the other hand, the OP seemed offended greatly by his numbers being questioned and that happens all the time, as it should. Unfortunately, the comments back and forth led to a complete obfuscation of the basic topic being discussed and whether the reported results were possible and could be accurately attributed to the product.

Wifey B: I think you're all out of your minds.

I try to be humorous but still one member here who I respect a lot for their knowledge, decided I was taking shots at them and sent me a scathing and even threatening message so I ignore all of their posts now and don't respond even to compliment or agree.

Oh, and did I say, you're all lunatics and it's a full moon somewhere every day?

Those that are saying rude and otherwise unacceptable things should be removed. If you feel the need to cover it up w a haha or a smily it should'nt be said and is not acceptable. If kidding is not obvious it's bullying. The problem is that this is not 100% true .. perhaps only 50%.

I have no one on ignore. If there are more than one or two that have a specific member on ignore that member should be removed. We should'nt have the need to ignore. If the need is there the source should be removed.

I don't think rude guys suddenly turn into nice guys because someone (or several someones) say "Come on guys lets be nice". Would be good though. Would'nt happen in a 5th grade classroom either. But maybe to some degree ..... and that would make this thread worthwile. OK good

Humor-Sarcasm

There is humor and there is sarcasm. Sarcasm begets more sarcasm, which leads to belligerence. I do not mind being made fun of IF it is for fun. I do however have issues with sarcastic and belligerence comments that serve no purpose other than to belittle someone. I joined this forum to have fun,learn and to meet others with the same interests.
If you disagree with someone, state your disagreement and leave it at that, or better, prove why you are right with a reasonable and factual statement.
Leave the hate behind that is so prevalent these days.

Gordo

Sarcasm & Intolerance

There's sarcasm and then there's being a complete a$$hole which one poster in particular did in the original thread Portuguese is refering to. Just sayin'