Miami insanity

So I just took "barefoot Key" down to the keys to stay for a while. I made the mistake of going through ft.lauderdale-Miami on a perfect Saturday. I thought ft lauderdale was busy until I arrived at bakers haul over sandbar party. Police were hauling people in, two separate DJ barges were in full force, hundreds of boats. Once I got by that, I was reminded how much I love Biscayne Bay. Beautiful, and enough room for us all to spread out.
I attached a picture, will put a couple more up on my profile page.

Well I thought I attached a picture. I would appreciate some hints on the best way to post pictures. Thanks.

rmorris said:

Well I thought I attached a picture. I would appreciate some hints on the best way to post pictures. Thanks.

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Click on "Manage Attachments" then select a file/picture and upload it.

You can click on "preview" before you post to see if the picture will show up in your post before you post.

That sounds like the kind of party we want to see a lot of photos of!

- also an area that many of us would like to avoid like the plague!
When I was last down that way, I was very happy to discover that my masts were short enough that I could skip across the Okeechobee, and thus miss that congested section of the ICW. (Also known as that cement mixer of sportfishermen, "penis boats", party boats, and others whose boats should be named "Horsepower Exceeds Brainpower!")
Hey guys, sorry! I just realized I mixed a mini-rant about one of my boating pet peeves into this post!

I do love to see pictures of the stuff I missed, however!

The Haulover sandbar and the New River sandbar and the Elliot Key Sandbar and the Islamorada sandbar are little league compared to Columbus Day, just saying



This is Haulover, technically Bakers Haulover, which got its name from when it was just an isthmus, and the boat service that was there to "Haulover" boats from the ocean to the bay in Upper Biscayne Bay. Cut was dug in 1925.

No insanity here. This doesn't even compare to Lake Havasu.

Wifey B: Haulover Beach

Here are a couple of pics of the Torch Lake MI sandbar party. This was the 4th of July.

Nothing to see here...

Cool pics, Donsan. USCG chopper checking out the bikinis. Errr, I mean standing by in case anyone needs to be rescued!

GFC said:

Cool pics, Donsan. USCG chopper checking out the bikinis. Errr, I mean standing by in case anyone needs to be rescued!

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No rescues but plenty of arrests! I confess to lifting the pictures from another site. The insanity is appalling. It is a nice sandbar and beautiful clear cool water but 10,000+ people out in the middle of nowhere?

When I was last down that way, I was very happy to discover that my masts were short enough that I could skip across the Okeechobee, and thus miss that congested section of the ICW. (

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There is an extremely convenient ocean available making it easy to avoid the ICW and not miss some really good cruising destinations, from Key Biscayne all the way around and up to Ft Myers.

You are absolutely right!
By the time I got to the Okeechobee, I was a little paranoid about all the horror stories I was hearing about the Miami area, so, when the opportunity for a detour occurred, I was more than ready to jump!
Of course, it helped that I had just discovered that Tom Colvin, designer of my boat, was then living at Turkey Creek, between Okeechobee and Fort Myers.
The outside route was the other possibility, but then I would have missed the opportunity to get a citation for speeding in a no wake zone, from one of those pseudo-cops in wildlife protection. (I was going about 1 knot, but my old girl puts up a bit of froth at the bow, and I think he was having a bad day, and wanted to share!)

As with any areas that has a sandbar ,it will attract boats,people and trouble,and on a nice weekend everyone will be there. Use the ocean on weekend,not the icw.

BandB said:

Wifey B: Haulover Beach


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Reminds me of Rex Mossop,a Sydney TV sports reporter living not far from a nude beach, who complained on air he was "sick of having people`s genitals thrust down my throat".
Perhaps just a poor choice of words.....

BruceK said:

Reminds me of Rex Mossop,a Sydney TV sports reporter living not far from a nude beach, who complained on air he was "sick of having people`s genitals thrust down my throat".
Perhaps just a poor choice of words.....

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Wifey B:

That's kind of funny, and very correct. A very convenient ocean.

Donsan said:

No rescues but plenty of arrests! I confess to lifting the pictures from another site. The insanity is appalling. It is a nice sandbar and beautiful clear cool water but 10,000+ people out in the middle of nowhere?

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Tests showed very high levels of ammonia and feces in that pristine water. Wouldn't be surprised if that gathering is banned in the future. Gross.

BandB said:

No insanity here. This doesn't even compare to Lake Havasu.

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I haven't been in years (and will probably never be back), but I do have lots of fond memories from Lake HAVE A BREW.

We had two stints of living in Key Biscayne....3 years each. We enjoyed the Bay, got married on our boat in the middle of Stiltsville, cruised the coast and harbor often, but on holidays we stayed home. If you like figure eight racing, you'll love Miami on holidays.

Even on week days the ride inside along the Stuart - Miami area is going to be very slow going.

Best is to consider you are touring (not making a delivery run) and plan on a very slow , but interesting day.

The distance between bridges ,and wake restrictions mean its hard to not wait for most bridges to open.

So plan on it , a tiny anchor will make a 20 min wait far less stressing than milling about smarty.

Hoist your black ball as the anchor goes over, few will understand what it means ,
but because it must mean "something" fewer will come close enough & drive over the anchor line

It's very easy to set your speed to match the bridge opening schedules. The irritants are all the folks who don't and the wide variety of general clulessness and other bad behaviors.

caltexflanc said:

It's very easy to set your speed to match the bridge opening schedules. The irritants are all the folks who don't and the wide variety of general clulessness and other bad behaviors.

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I've found the bridges in South Florida to be extremely easy. Yes, it forces some of us to slow down a bit, but it's all on a schedule. And, if that's too slow for us, we go outside.

Miamians are a "special" form of stupid. Lived there for 8 years. Fun place to visit. The place would be great if it wasn't for the people. We call it "Me am Me" (think latino accent) since Miamians are self centered egotistical pricks. Their boat handling skills are about equal to their level of humility. If you want to know more... just me how I *really* feel.

Now I only have to deal with the @$$holes every weekend. They come... take a crap on my island home... and leave. The them leaving part is the good part.

With that said, the locals in the keys are awesome, caring, friendly people.

Many of the bridges are 2 miles apart and open 3 times an hour.

Its really hard to go 2 miles when after the opening a slow procession of boats wanders thru , and there is a no wake zone after the bridge.

For a displacement boat going 2 miles in 10-12 min remaining is not easy.

Nope not so. Look at the actual schedules in sequence. I don't think we ever had to exceed 8 knots from PB County south. That means a 6 knot boat would gear down to 4 and make the next bridge on its opening an hour later rather than the one a half hour later for example.

The parade takes the same time to complete at the next opening too.

http://www.cruiserswiki.org/wiki/Fl...e#Florida_ICW_Bridge_Schedule_and_Regulations

Bridges were not a problem for me. My marine trader needs 17 foot clearance, so most of the bridges were ok, and once I got into the routine,most of the ones I did need open were almost ready for me when I got there. 15 minutes in Boca was my worst wait.

Panacea said:

Miamians are a "special" form of stupid. Lived there for 8 years. Fun place to visit. The place would be great if it wasn't for the people. We call it "Me am Me" (think latino accent) since Miamians are self centered egotistical pricks. Their boat handling skills are about equal to their level of humility. If you want to know more... just me how I *really* feel.

Now I only have to deal with the @$$holes every weekend. They come... take a crap on my island home... and leave. The them leaving part is the good part.

With that said, the locals in the keys are awesome, caring, friendly people.

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I'm sure with you having that attitude, they're all very happy to get away from you. I know many fine people who live in Miami. I resent that attack. I will not judge all of Islamorado based on you.

When I was working I use to travel to Miami often, I always enjoyed it and made quite a few friends there. I have only been there once in my boat, for several days on the way north from the Keys. We did stay in a marina during the weekend and had no problem at all cruising during the week. There are lots of good international and American restaurants, hotels and bars there. Lots of nice boats to look at too.