Funny or stupid thing to say

During inspection of a boat today I sighted 25mm of water in the hull Broker said don't worry all that's need is to preposition the bilge pump





My wife laughed I bit my lip

gaston said:

During inspection of a boat today I sighted 25mm of water in the hull Broker said don't worry all that's need is to preposition the bilge pump

My wife laughed I bit my lip

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You'd find 12mm of water in my forward bilge any old time, but I would certainly never proposition my bilge pump...

That doesn't make a bit of sense to me, but if I were selling a boat, I would remove any water from the bilge using whatever it takes.


A bilge pump can't typically remove all the water so after cleaning and rinsing mine, I pump what I can out and leave the hatches open for the rest to evaporate. Sponges or rags would do it faster.

If you're interested in the boat, make the broker a proposition. If he will find out if water is fresh or salt and determines source, you'd be most appreciative.

We just had a similar experience in Sydney with the boat we ended up buying. When we went to do the survey there was a couple of inches of water in the bilges. I asked the question where it came from. The broker said all boats have water in the bilge, the surveyor said it wasn't significant and not to worry about it. This is a glass boat with drippless shaft seals. I couldn't believe they said it at the time but it turned out neither had a clue. When I went down into the engine room later I found a large split in the air conditioning cooling manifold that was spraying salt water straight onto the 115 volt water pump.

(P = Stoopid things said by surveyor.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the yard.)

P: Left prop almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left prop.

P: Sea trial OK, except autopilot not working
S: Autopilot not installed on this vessel.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs in bilge
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Engine synchronizer won't engage
S: Cannot reproduce problem in dry dock.

P: Evidence of hydraulic leak in steering.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Ship to shore volume unbelievably loud.
S: Ship to shore volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: Radar inoperative.
S: Radar always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Port engine missing.
S: Engine found in left side of engine room after brief search.

Glad to know there is pretty much the same humor and same banter in your world as the traditional pilot/aviation mechanic exchanges.

I an sure the car guys can chime in too!

One of the business managers at my company used to say two things very often:
"Fax it to them in writing"
and
"Tell them verbally over the phone".
Those used to drive me nuts.

Wifey B: "Fasten seat belt while seated." Ok, I'm the kid you tell something like that to and I just try to see if I can fasten it while standing. Nope. I wonder if this was a problem? After all these years they've never thought of perhaps saying, "Keep seat belt fastened while seated."

I saw a sign recently in a residential area that said "Hump ahead." It wasn't Wednesday but I still wondered if they really wanted us to...hump."

And "Slow Bridge Ahead." The freaking bridge isn't slow, it doesn't move at all.

Now my hubby hates the signs that just have drawings and no words. He has a point. Is literacy really so bad that we can't say "Steep hill ahead". Ever notice how similar the handicapped sign and the restroom sign are from a distance? Oh, he hates it on car buttons and such too. Instead of cold and warm we have red and blue. Instead of A/C we have a drawing. We have one instead of "Wipers." Sometimes it's like being on a game show to figure it all out. You rent a car and you have to take a minute to find everything since no two manufacturers do things the same.

How about:
Slow Children Ahead
Open Joints on Bridge (not kidding)
Traffic Calming Ahead (really good if the traffic is stressed)
Sign outside a doctor's office in FL "Brain Surgery" (wonder if you need an appointment or if walk ins are welcome)

Lastly, I often wonder if we will see a headline saying "Poor Joe Dies in Airline Crash---He Didn't Have His Seatbelt Fastened: All Others Survived"

During survey of a boat last year the port engine overheated and we had to return to the dock on one engine.

A week or so later our broker contacted the selling broker so see if they were able to resolve the issue. The broker replied:

"We found the issue, a large industrial bag had been sucked against the raw water intake, and so the engine overheated."

The boat had a sea chest!

We ran.

A guy was giving me a hard time about a minor mistake at work and wouldn't let it go, so I hit him with, "I'm sorry, but I only accept unsolicited criticism from the infallible". His face went blank for a while as he tried to figure that out, then he let it drop.

MurrayM said:

A guy was giving me a hard time about a minor mistake at work and wouldn't let it go, so I hit him with, "I'm sorry, but I only accept unsolicited criticism from the infallible". His face went blank for a while as he tried to figure that out, then he let it drop.

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Good one. I hope I can use that in the future, but I'm sure I won't remember. I'm terrible at snappy comebacks !

hmason said:

...Lastly, I often wonder if we will see a headline saying "Poor Joe Dies in Airline Crash---He Didn't Have His Seatbelt Fastened: All Others Survived"

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The headline reads "4 passengers taken to hospital after bad turbulence". Those were the 4 not wearing seat belts.

Richard

One of my favorite Ct road signs is "Blind Drive"
Am I supposed to keep my eyes shut? Or open them for a while?

MurrayM said:

A guy was giving me a hard time about a minor mistake at work and wouldn't let it go, so I hit him with, "I'm sorry, but I only accept unsolicited criticism from the infallible". His face went blank for a while as he tried to figure that out, then he let it drop.

Click to expand...

I worked with two men who had long worked together. Ken would get intense and speak to Jim somewhat harshly. Jim's favorite response was "You've obviously got me confused with someone who gives a damn."

In NC we have signs beside interstate highways that announce "Roadside Wildlife Refuge". Why do you want that beside a highway? Roadkill deli??

SlowsailNC

"Rest Area"

By the vending machines-

"No Loitering"

Ladies Restroom in a Philipine bar, Angeles City-

Queen
4 U 2 P

You have to listen to this. A lady asks for help getting deer crossing signs moved to lower traffic areas and she's serious!