Time For The First Mate Not To Be The Anode
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FF
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"(usually when skippers are accused of shouting)."
The richer ones don't shout, they scream into the Loud Haler!
The richer ones don't shout, they scream into the Loud Haler!
dimer2
Moderator Emeritus
If I ever yelled, that would be the end of whatever maneuver we were attempting to accomplish, as 50% of our 2 man team would immediately mutiny and be en route to the flying bridge, probably brandishing a boat hook!
FF
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"immediately mutiny and be en route to the flying bridge, probably brandishing a boat hook!"
Experienced crew would bring a belaying pin!
Experienced crew would bring a belaying pin!
ragin cajun
Senior Member
In my case, this ^ would be followed by a FOR SALE sign mounted on the bow rail!
Yelling at/to the admiral is indeed a mortal sin with epic repercussions.
In my case, this ^ would be followed by a FOR SALE sign mounted on the bow rail!
Wifey B: Or mounted on your Derriere.....
Same here
Welcome to the club
In my case, this ^ would be followed by a FOR SALE sign mounted on the bow rail!
Welcome to the club
ragin cajun
Senior Member
Wifey B: Or mounted on your Derriere.....
After she finishes workin' over my Derriere there would be little left to hang anything on it!
After she finishes workin' over my Derriere there would be little left to hang anything on it!
Wifey B: Actually for most of you guys, the wife would just look back in shock and then ask you what is wrong out of concern for you if you behaved that badly out of character. I sure would be worried if my hubby suddenly yelled like that at me.
As to those who accept yelling and cursing back and forth, there are certain things between two consenting adults that just don't belong in public. Consensual abusive language is one of them. No Fifty Shades of Grey at the docks please.
BruceK
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Crewing on a racing sailboat I never found that the skipper yelling at people( me included)making a mistake/ having issues with a task improved immediate performance. Later when I skippered my own boat in races, I made a rule for myself to never do that,and still apply it now.
With a couple, all sorts of background issues can play out in times of stressful circumstances, like docking. And beware,coming between 2 disputing people often has the result of them uniting against the interferer.
Raised voices don`t always indicate misbehavior between people separated by distance and cabin structures, with engines running. In can be just a matter of hearing and be heard. But if it is abuse and rudeness, it`s not on, and it likely makes things worse not better, then and later.
With a couple, all sorts of background issues can play out in times of stressful circumstances, like docking. And beware,coming between 2 disputing people often has the result of them uniting against the interferer.
Raised voices don`t always indicate misbehavior between people separated by distance and cabin structures, with engines running. In can be just a matter of hearing and be heard. But if it is abuse and rudeness, it`s not on, and it likely makes things worse not better, then and later.
We have a rule on our boat which we did not come up with but stole from Bob Hale, the creator and former publisher of the Waggoner Guide, one of the most popular cruising guides for the PNW and BC Coast.
He told it to me in person many years ago but I believe it also used to be a sidebar in his guidebook.
And that is: If while underway my wife and I ever disagree on where we are, where we should go, or what we should do we stop the boat until we agree on the best course of action.
Bob told me they created this rule while debating the best way to leave a bay in the Gulf Islands. As I recall the story, Bob was positive they could go between a pair of small islands and his wife was equally positive they should go around them. Rather than allow the disagreement to escalate they stopped the boat, studied the charts and reasoned it out between them. As it turned out, one route was dangerous and the other one was safe.
I liked Bob's story and relayed it to my wife who suggested we adopt it. So we did. We've only had to employ it a few times but it is a great way to avoid an argument and the subsequent sour feelings and resentment and instead put both parties into a "let's figure this out" frame of mind instead of a confrontational one.
Obviously common sense needs to prevail and Bob was not suggesting to stop the boat regardless of the situation. You don't want stopping to put the boat in danger.
But most of the time, at least in these waters, decisions about courses of action are made well in advance of the situation becoming critical.
We have always talked over our courses of action anyway, be it how best to enter a harbor, get on or off a dock and so on. We got into this habit years ago when we started flying floatplanes together. With no brakes or reverse (unless it's a turbine with a beta prop) and weak steering on the water, advance planning is essential with a floatplane. Boats are no different in this respect although the degree of control is greater.
But Bob Hale's "rule" is a great way to defuse those situations when a disagreement threatens to escalate into something both parties will later regret.
He told it to me in person many years ago but I believe it also used to be a sidebar in his guidebook.
And that is: If while underway my wife and I ever disagree on where we are, where we should go, or what we should do we stop the boat until we agree on the best course of action.
Bob told me they created this rule while debating the best way to leave a bay in the Gulf Islands. As I recall the story, Bob was positive they could go between a pair of small islands and his wife was equally positive they should go around them. Rather than allow the disagreement to escalate they stopped the boat, studied the charts and reasoned it out between them. As it turned out, one route was dangerous and the other one was safe.
I liked Bob's story and relayed it to my wife who suggested we adopt it. So we did. We've only had to employ it a few times but it is a great way to avoid an argument and the subsequent sour feelings and resentment and instead put both parties into a "let's figure this out" frame of mind instead of a confrontational one.
Obviously common sense needs to prevail and Bob was not suggesting to stop the boat regardless of the situation. You don't want stopping to put the boat in danger.
But most of the time, at least in these waters, decisions about courses of action are made well in advance of the situation becoming critical.
We have always talked over our courses of action anyway, be it how best to enter a harbor, get on or off a dock and so on. We got into this habit years ago when we started flying floatplanes together. With no brakes or reverse (unless it's a turbine with a beta prop) and weak steering on the water, advance planning is essential with a floatplane. Boats are no different in this respect although the degree of control is greater.
But Bob Hale's "rule" is a great way to defuse those situations when a disagreement threatens to escalate into something both parties will later regret.
I have a general philosophy, not just for boating, "When in doubt, don't." That would be consistent with Bob Hale's rule. Love his rule. Nothing is going to happen by waiting but choose wrong and it sure will. We were in one area on the ICW and the charts and what they indicated did not agree with what we were interpreting visually. We called the local Seatow captain who told us quickly that the shoal had shifted during the storms of the previous week making the charts and markers wrong. He had ungrounded two boats in the previous 24 hours.
markpierce
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The only significant disagreement on choosing a route I can recall in recent years was with the builder of the boat on our route from Oakland, where we accepted the boat's delivery from the container ship in Oakland, to Brickyard Cover in Richmond. After picking up fuel at Emeryville, the builder suggested taking the boat over the shallows east of Brooks Island. While the builder had sailed these waters extensively decades earlier, I believed that route was likely to result in a grounding, so insisted the approach be made from the western end of the island. No heated discussion. "Won" my way. The boat's master (client) is always right. ... Keep wondering if the builder was actually testing my local knowledge. The accompanying local, widely-recognized, former sailboat racer seemed to agree with me.
... Keep wondering if the builder was actually testing my local knowledge. The accompanying local, widely-recognized, former sailboat racer seemed to agree with me.2 ways radio
Hi Jon
I bought them on Amazon.fr , but I looked about them for you on Amazon.com and found them :
Robot Check
Even BAOFENG is not very much know in Europe, many security guards in the hotels, malls, shopping centers, of Hong Kong are using professional BAOFENG radios. I'm often in Hong Kong and I talked with guards who told me they are pretty good devices. Police officers there are using professional Motorola devices what are very expensive, I didn't need those aboard.
In my opinion, keep away from the small and entry level products MIDLAND, MOTOROLA, KENWOOD, sold by COSTCO or WALMART what are radios for kids.
Good (and not expensive) 2 ways radios aboard are important security features, especially when difficult docking, anchoring, and during passages at night to communicate from the fly bridge with people in the salon or cabins. I'm very much aware about security of people aboard while docking and cruising, what is my high top priority.
I bought as well the Baofeng BF-S112 Two Way Radio Speaker for each of my 3 devices :
Robot Check
Batteries are very good, need to be charged only every 6 months.
Hopefully my reply (only in my opinion) would help.
Olivier
Hi Jon
I bought them on Amazon.fr , but I looked about them for you on Amazon.com and found them :
Robot Check
Even BAOFENG is not very much know in Europe, many security guards in the hotels, malls, shopping centers, of Hong Kong are using professional BAOFENG radios. I'm often in Hong Kong and I talked with guards who told me they are pretty good devices. Police officers there are using professional Motorola devices what are very expensive, I didn't need those aboard.
In my opinion, keep away from the small and entry level products MIDLAND, MOTOROLA, KENWOOD, sold by COSTCO or WALMART what are radios for kids.
Good (and not expensive) 2 ways radios aboard are important security features, especially when difficult docking, anchoring, and during passages at night to communicate from the fly bridge with people in the salon or cabins. I'm very much aware about security of people aboard while docking and cruising, what is my high top priority.
I bought as well the Baofeng BF-S112 Two Way Radio Speaker for each of my 3 devices :
Robot Check
Batteries are very good, need to be charged only every 6 months.
Hopefully my reply (only in my opinion) would help.
Olivier
Attachments
FF
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"Actually... It's not the yelling... It's the manner and words contained therein!"
Frequently , PANIC!
Frequently , PANIC!
My stunningly beautiful (inside and out) Sharon cooks, cleans, does the laundry, pilots, navigates, changes oil, winterizes the engine, paints the deck, does beautiful epoxy work, installs new windows, windlasses and bow thrusters, changes impellers, gives terrific back rubs ......... but so do I
Nuff said ! .... does she have a sister ? ...
RT Firefly
Enigma
Greetings,
Mr. f. Oooohhh...someone's not getting any tonight!
Mr. f. Oooohhh...someone's not getting any tonight!
RT Firefly
Enigma
Wifey B: I like being on the deck when locking and if raining just put on rain gear or if warm enough rain, then guess it becomes a wet t-shirt contest. 
Where possible we love to pass a dessert up to the lockmaster. I don't worry much about rain though. I'm not going to melt.
Where possible we love to pass a dessert up to the lockmaster. I don't worry much about rain though. I'm not going to melt.
River Cruiser
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The way I read the original post the 1st mate was moving back and forth between 2 lines while locking. On the river the lock tenders drop 2 lines lines down and it takes 2 people to man them, I have no idea how 1 person could move safely between the 2 lines. We take a turn around the rear and the mid cleats and keep pressure on the lines, it's not wise to cleat them off especially if dropping, saw a guy on a 380 SeaRay cleat his and when the water started going down the line got tight and he couldn't get it off. I don't know how this morphed into handling lines while dock a decidedly different task, by the time drunk got to the galley and got a knife the SeaRay had a pretty good list
Sent from my iPad using Trawler Forum
Sent from my iPad using Trawler Forum
AusCan
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My wife loves the ocean, the beach, being out on the boat, but she's not at all into boats. She doesn't feel comfortable with technical issues. Still, we have a great time together out on the boat.
We had a few initial problems, where I put too much pressure on her. Not yelling or being abusive, but not fully explaining what I thought were simple tasks. For a while it was easier to just say, "It's ok, I can handle it myself" rather than putting the pressure on her, but I knew in the long run we had to take a different approach.
I started ensuring that we go over in detail any tasks I need her to perform well before the time she needs to act. I diffused the pressure by explaining there is always a backup plan if the task she is performing isn't successful. All scenarios are explained and reviewed well before we get to the dock/lock/ or whatever.
For example, If she misses looping the spring line on the dock cleat, it doesn't matter; I'll just shift into reverse, and we'll have another try. No problem. If there is a change of conditions, we'll stop and discuss any change in procedures. This minimizes any feeling of panic, and there are no last minute surprises.
This has greatly reduced the stress level all situations. She was all smiles when we recently docked in windy conditions, and an onlooker commented "you guys have obviously been doing this together for a long time".
We had a few initial problems, where I put too much pressure on her. Not yelling or being abusive, but not fully explaining what I thought were simple tasks. For a while it was easier to just say, "It's ok, I can handle it myself" rather than putting the pressure on her, but I knew in the long run we had to take a different approach.
I started ensuring that we go over in detail any tasks I need her to perform well before the time she needs to act. I diffused the pressure by explaining there is always a backup plan if the task she is performing isn't successful. All scenarios are explained and reviewed well before we get to the dock/lock/ or whatever.
For example, If she misses looping the spring line on the dock cleat, it doesn't matter; I'll just shift into reverse, and we'll have another try. No problem. If there is a change of conditions, we'll stop and discuss any change in procedures. This minimizes any feeling of panic, and there are no last minute surprises.
This has greatly reduced the stress level all situations. She was all smiles when we recently docked in windy conditions, and an onlooker commented "you guys have obviously been doing this together for a long time".
Irish Rambler
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Great anecdotes.
Should you ever happen to be in the South of France in a place called Beziers on the canal Du Midi there happens to be a flight of 7 locks.
A few miles away is a popular hire boat base and hirers tend to take over their boats on Saturdays.
Many an amusing Sunday could be spent simply being a dockhopper watching the antics of novice hire boat crews as they try to negotiate this flight, many marriages are very tenuous by the time of the final flight.
The majority don't realise they are speaking over the sound of the engine and incoming water and various international 'expressions' may be learned.
Several words though seem to transcend borders and many signs are given that are not in any rule of collision, or, highway code book.
One popular sign originates at the Battle of Crecy in France where the French would cut off the first two fingers of the English archers hand. Churchill later returned it to popularity.
Should you ever happen to be in the South of France in a place called Beziers on the canal Du Midi there happens to be a flight of 7 locks.
A few miles away is a popular hire boat base and hirers tend to take over their boats on Saturdays.
Many an amusing Sunday could be spent simply being a dockhopper watching the antics of novice hire boat crews as they try to negotiate this flight, many marriages are very tenuous by the time of the final flight.
The majority don't realise they are speaking over the sound of the engine and incoming water and various international 'expressions' may be learned.
Several words though seem to transcend borders and many signs are given that are not in any rule of collision, or, highway code book.
One popular sign originates at the Battle of Crecy in France where the French would cut off the first two fingers of the English archers hand. Churchill later returned it to popularity.
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