This topic creates anxiety for me. Im 49 with my last child just starting high school. My wife and I have always talked about boating big boat style and this has been a life long dream for us. Well maybe its more of my dream. I love the ocean. We do spend a lot of time on the water at our cabin in Alaska but its not the same. I want to hit the water and start cruising once our last child is in college. My wife has now started a masters program with an eye on an administration position in the school district. That does not seem like a 4 year plan to me.
There is the source of my anxiety.
Wifey B: Ok, as an over educated educator who can put lots of fancy letters after my name, it should be a topic of serious conversation. I struggled a bit with retiring young and not continuing to use my skills to educate. I'm proud that I was considered one of the best at developing and implementing reading programs. I admit to being selfish and just plain wanting fun and even more than that wanting all the time possible with my husband. However, I also found a way with his help to not abandon my quest entirely. I can consult and do it on my terms and often have fewer implementation problems than an insider might have.
I don't know your wife's age or years taught. I imagine she's also battling trying to get to teacher's retirement with a 20/80 rule or something of that nature. (For those not in education, means you must have at least 20 years and the sum of your years teaching and age must add up to 80). Assuming she's your age and has taught since she was 23 then that would put her at a total of 75, so within a 3 year retirement window). I don't know your financial situation either.
You'll have to find out her reasons. Is it financial, love of job, or because there's a force at play in her life making her think it's the right thing. Maybe she's trying to prove something to others or herself. Maybe it's her lifetime dream. The scary thing a bit is that as a teacher, at least she could be free for a couple of months in the summer, but administrators work 12 months. There's probably some compromise or common ground. Maybe something like go on and get the boat and start acclimating in 4 years but set 8 years as full retirement and maybe you do retire in 4 and you work on getting everything in place and perfect for 8 years and on gaining the knowledge and experience. Maybe in her mind she's more comfortable with the last child out of college vs. entering.
Our goal was always to retire by the time my husband was 60, hoping for 55, fantasizing about 50. We made joint decisions that would make retirement possible early. We saved and invested and I think the target of retirement was more in our minds than it is for most. Ok, I know some of you are going to find this a bit much and sappy and too sugary or saccharine or aspartame overdose. Retirement to me wasn't about where or what. It was about being able to spend all our time together and not being required to be apart 10 hours a day five days a week and sometimes 24 hours when he traveled on business. Now we might have been able to retire in some fashion by the time he was 50 but we got exceedingly lucky and enormously fortunate and it became possible at 43 instead. We're also not 100% retired in terms of doing no work. We're just 100% retired in terms of only doing what we want to. I do my education gigs, he does one day remote consulting jobs from home or the boat, I assist him and he assists me, and we own a business and we spend time at the orphanage and we try to do other charitable things but not just toss money, be personally involved. We couldn't shut down completely.
Do we feel guilty ever about being retired early? Could that be a challenge she's facing as well? We do. We sometimes feel it's unfair we are semi-retired while others are working so hard. We can't change the world. God knows I've had to remind him of that enough our years together. But we do use it to try to make small changes. Even in our business we have a very heavy emphasis on limiting hours and maximizing vacation so people can have quality lives and making it possible for people to retire earlier.
One thing we face in our society is that often our worth is equated to our job. We're driven to work long hours and be productive. We identify with our professions. It's a challenge for many facing retirement to grasp that they've still got value as humans. I talked to a man who retired at 79 and felt after like he served no purpose in the world. His 45 year old daughter crawled in his lap and said, "You do serve a purpose. You're my daddy. You're here when I need you."
I know we seem like all we do is fun and play and boat and cruise but that's what this site is. I don't think we'll ever be just that. Retirement to me is doing what you want when you want. That we do.
Good luck in finding a solution that works for both of you. I think if you really discuss all aspects and not just the what parts but the why then you can find one.
Darn, I was as long winded as someone else I know very well...hehe
