Top 8 Morons Of 2014
1. *WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?*
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR
FRIENDS:*
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them
in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'
3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B?*
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. *THE GETAWAY!*
A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
police showed up
and grabbed him.
5. *DID I SAY THAT?*
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted,
'that's not what I said!'
6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING?*
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor
asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'
7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!*
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a
Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his
pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. *THE GRAND FINALE!*
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of
Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat,
going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,no matter how much power they applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,
thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was
laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
*Now remember these are all true stories and these people vote and have children!*
