Boating alone.....

Wifey B; Thanks for starting thus thread,and thanks to those that shared their solo experiences. Today is my first day unemployed (retired),wife passed so will be going solo. It will not be as enjoyable but life happens. Always planned to retire around the water,just couldn't make up mind where, salt or fresh. Seems a trawler is the best of both and no grass to mow

Presently planning a solo to Dominican Republic then on to the Leeward Islands for the winter. In the planning process, I can figure on not running the watermaker or taking on water for a period of 10-12 days. If with company, it would be only four days hair dryers will also really draw down the house batteries.

When I bought the boat I thought people, including my kids, would be standing in line to go out with me. Not true at all, kids have their own things to do, as do my friends. A day on the boat is usually about 6+ hours counting the drive to and from Baton Rouge. So, if the boat goes out its just me, solo. But, about 3 years ago I found an S/O who likes boats, she grew up around sailboats. So, yes, I enjoy solo, but enjoy her company aboard more.

Wow.
One of the few threads that I read every word.

Each of you touched on a spot.

I love hosting others. Yet, when alone, I don't have the stress of hosting others!

But going solo along a channel, like the ICW, is really not fun. Then, I feel it's like a chore. I may as well be delivering someone else's boat.

On the open ocean though, I find it therapeutic, though boring.

Most of all, I really miss the sharing of new experiences with others. Far more so if it's something I've done many times.

And yes, TF had filled that void on many days and nights.

Now, about that anchor...

I was wondering if Richard would get in on this one. He's certainly qualified.

"Now, about that anchor... "
He's also a trouble maker!

HopCar said:

"I could see extended cruising in protected waters alone in a small boat;"
George I've been thinking the same thing. I saw some boat plans for an 18' sailboat designed for beach cruising. The idea of building it and sailing around the tip of Florida really appeals to me. Call it a Florida Half Loop. (Florida Immelmann?)

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If you're serious about that micro-boat experience, may I recommend this book?

Beachcruising and Coastal Camping: Ida Little, Michael Walsh: 9780918752154: Amazon.com: Books

The authors, Michael and Ida have "been there/done that" and I found their book quite useful. It's interesting and opened my eyes to possibilities. Not cheap, even used, and though older it has not lost it's relevancy.

Another thing I liked was that the editor also added his comments (in italics) to the authors so in essence, well, it's like sitting around a beach cookout talking about what works and what does not.

The stuff on anchors though? That's wrong!!
And a GPS is helpful too.

I like the company of a woman

My wife and I were ready to cast off when she was killed in a Vehicle wreck in route, believe it or not, to the boat. I don't like being alone and it took me a year or so to find a new partner. It's not the same, nobody is the same. It has put my dream on hold while she adapts to the adventure life style I've always enjoyed. I went back to work part time. I've always liked someone to share the excitement of that dolphin or orca, the exhilaration of a rapid, or quiet of some isolated anchorage. Sharing the extraordinary, now that's what's special. How can you do that alone.

Wow Scary, that was a hard read. I think it would be very difficult to get back to the boat after that, hope all is well for you now.

Thanks Janice. I ordered the book.
You're a bad girl. You said the "A" word. That can start a lot of trouble on this website.

Scary said:

My wife and I were ready to cast off when she was killed in a Vehicle wreck in route, believe it or not, to the boat. I don't like being alone and it took me a year or so to find a new partner. It's not the same, nobody is the same. It has put my dream on hold while she adapts to the adventure life style I've always enjoyed. I went back to work part time. I've always liked someone to share the excitement of that dolphin or orca, the exhilaration of a rapid, or quiet of some isolated anchorage. Sharing the extraordinary, now that's what's special. How can you do that alone.

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I can't imagine the pain of that. We've both promised to each other to continue and go forward from any such event, but that would be the hardest promise to keep that I ever faced.

HopCar said:

I was wondering if Richard would get in on this one. He's certainly qualified.

"Now, about that anchor... "
He's also a trouble maker!

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Watch it, or the cat gets it

HopCar said:

Thanks Janice. I ordered the book.
You're a bad girl. You said the "A" word. That can start a lot of trouble on this website.

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I almost ordered, "Me, the Boat and the Cat" but then I read the description and it's about a stupid cat boat, not a real cat.

I think I may change my avatar.

Brian, Jimbob, Gulf Comanche and Scary remind us how important it is to share with our partners now. I enjoy my own company, but even though I complain that my Admiral's mission in life is to show me every single thing she notices before I do, I wouldn't want it different.

healhustler said:

Brian, Jimbob, Gulf Comanche and Scary remind us how important it is to share with our partners now. I enjoy my own company, but even though I complain that my Admiral's mission in life is to show me every single thing she notices before I do, I wouldn't want it different.

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amen

It's a hobby we finally both love. Boating just wouldn't be the same without my Wife.
Bill

healhustler said:

Brian, Jimbob, Gulf Comanche and Scary remind us how important it is to share with our partners now. I enjoy my own company, but even though I complain that my Admiral's mission in life is to show me every single thing she notices before I do, I wouldn't want it different.

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Wifey B: Sad thought is that for every man here now without his partner, there are at least two, if not three, women without theirs. All we can do is make the most of each day. Thinking of all of you who have lost someone so dear to you. And hoping you each find your way.

My wife has Alzheimer's , and while she is physically still with us, she has no clue about anything. It is a daily challenge to stay one step ahead of desperation. We just celebrated our 49th anniversary, we did everything together and enjoyed it. It is difficult to visually see your partner and not be able to communicate with her, other then in a simplistic manner. I miss her greatly. Enjoy today, for tomorrow is an unknown event.

John

BandB said:

Wifey B: Sad thought is that for every man here now without his partner, there are at least two, if not three, women without theirs. All we can do is make the most of each day. Thinking of all of you who hav e lost someone so dear to you. And hoping you each find your way.

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I think this ratio is changing fast. Have you guys noticed how many of your friends female mates have left us. In the 60s there were 3 other couples that we were close. All four of the wives passed before the husbands. Women smoking, suffering the stresses of the workforce, and men changing their smoking and eating habits have changed the picture greatly.

My wife passed from cancer two weeks after finishing our last 700 mile cruise together. One of the best things she did for me after the four year battle with the disease was to say, "You've done your job, and should have no regrets. Get on with life. You deserve that". Those words did not hit me at the time, but later were freeing in a wonderful way. That was the best present she ever gave me.

Some of us like John have our spouses but are robbed of the true relationship. That has got to be very hard, and cruel for both parties. John, you too are doing your job. Don't look back. The memories will always remain.

Although we ALL have differing experiences and expectations, we all have the same destination: Fulfillment.

However, it often takes different outcomes to achieve the results.

Good on you for following your dreams (even with side tracks and detours) and I hope I can follow my dreams if sidetracked like you have been.

Just keep the mirror in view. You must keep the vision obtainable and safe for your intentions.

Best of luck.

Personally, I could not imagine boating alone. Without a companion, why 'go it alone'? Who else could you discuss your accomplishments with? The 'echo' of the silent room is pretty vacuous. Although possibly a minority, If I was alone, I would probably just putter around in the garden. I can talk to plants. Waves don't really listen!

Reading these posts makes me ponder the significance of the enormity of the topic. Huge considerations. Best of luck to you.

Wifey B: I never imagined where this thread would lead. My hubby and I don't have true birth families in our lives. We both were loners and never expected to find love. Then we thought each other was all we needed. But over the last 13 years we've built families. People who are closer than sisters, grandparent and parent types, even kid types in a couple of 18 year old friends who mean the world to us. I'm glad. At least that won't leave either of us totally alone.

You do your best though. And then accept they got your love, they know you were there and now the only true way to honor them is to take full advantage of the life you have remaining. I don't know how but if my hubby sat around I'd come down and kick his.....you know what.

What is most rewarding is to see the love each of you have for your partner in life whether still here or moved on. We see some places where it's more popular to bash spouses or ex spouses and the entire concept of marriage. Our marriage in many ways is non-traditional but we sure as he.. love each other madly. Some of you have brought us close to tears but you sure have enriched our day by showing your goodness, your kindness, your loving natures. We never saw that with our parents and grew up not knowing what it was like to see couples in love and treating each other right. We sure came into marriage finding our own way since no example to follow. So we adopted parents and some older couples. They've shown us so much. And now many of you have here in this thread.

Thanks.

Prefer boating with another. Someone to maintain watch while going to the head and to serve beverage and meal to the pilothouse. But especially to share joyous/interesting sights.

Some of us are just loners and are ok with it. I would never even consider living aboard and cruising with another person. I have always been more comfortable experiencing adventure by myself and sharing it through writing.

We are all different. Some people feel they must share the moment with someone to fully enjoy it. Others get deeper insights on their own.

Many extroverts feel introverts are missing out on something in their emotions.
I'm very much an introvert, my wife is somewhat of an extrovert; but we understand each other completely. My wife, being a behavioural scientist, realizes that my time on my own is good for our relationship.

If anyone is interested in the subject, I'd recommend the book " Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"

AusCan said:

We are all different. Some people feel they must share the moment with someone to fully enjoy it. Others get deeper insights on their own.

Many extroverts feel introverts are missing out on something in their emotions.
I'm very much an introvert, my wife is somewhat of an extrovert; but we understand each other completely. My wife, being a behavioural scientist, realizes that my time on my own is good for our relationship.

If anyone is interested in the subject, I'd recommend the book " Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"

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I started an Introvert support group 20 years ago. I'm still the only member.

Iknowimcrazy said:

I started an Introvert support group 20 years ago. I'm still the only member.

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I was about to start a Procrastinator's support group, but I put it off.

I saw a T-Shirt once; "Introverts! Assemble Together In Your Own Homes."

BandB said:

I was about to start a Procrastinator's support group, but I put it off.

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Drum Roll.

My wife and I already have the vision for the next boat, the really big one, the one for the end-of-working sail away. It will be named "Waters of March" because we both love that song, we played that song at our wedding, and because we share the same birthday on March 31. If my wife weren't with me, there would be no point to any of it.

Does cruising with only a cat for company count as solo?

Thanks for those deep shares, John and Don. It's important to note that true loss is not always from the passing of a mate, as in the case of Alzheimer's.