my rant..why are there no young people.

First, let me apologize for what is going to be a rambling post....

to say that the last few weeks have been a whirlwind would be an understatement.

before I get to that let me tell a bit about us. We are mid 30s with a young daughter. Even before I met my wife we were both into being in, on or near water. For me it went father's boats, think ski boats and bass boats on a lake. Then on to jet skis, and run abouts of my own. When we started a family things were tight, we ended up with kayaks for a few years, but we were on the water and that's what matters!


finally, after a few years we were able to get back into something a little bigger scale than kayaking. We ended up with a fixer upper Albin27, you may have seen it in the classified sections, but I'll get to that in a moment.

Since saltwater/bay boating was totally new to us we decided to keep her at a yacht Club to try to gain knowledge from people who are more salty than us. We jumped on board with both feet. Spending every waking moment (and many sleeping) detecting ourselves (daughter including) to being on the water. Our club had become a second family, our small boat a second home. With things going great we listed our boat for sale in hopes of a bigger more comfortable second home.

Here is where things start to go wrong...around the same time a club member heard my wife and I taking, and thought what we were talking about applied to him...it didn't. Long story short is it set him off into a rage where, in front of my daughter, not only berated us but put his hands on my wife. Obviously, this didn't sit well and within the hour we and the boat were gone. The only thing anyone offered to do was `moderate` the situation...while the situation is water under the keel, his words ring out. Which was basically said that we were too young to be there and it wasn't a place for kids. Now I wouldn't let the words of one deter me but certainly his opinion was shared by other, as evident in lack of interest from the officers.

Last, for my question.
Is this a standing opinion? or just one of one club? Why don't we see more families on the water? Let's face a few facts, the days of people buying boats like they were in the 70s and 80s is over. What that means for us (young people) is the used inventory is getting smaller and older and will never improve. Until I convince my wife to move aboard we are on a budget that means we are looking at boats nearly as old as we are.

I have a buyer for my Albin and will shop for another, larger boat and a family friendly place to keep it. But as the boats and boaters age I may be doing with less company.

Well all I can say is that person and any one else at that club who feels that way are A-holes! So forget them, move on, find another club if you feel the need and keep on enjoying your boat.

As to seeing families enjoying boating, I'd say pretty much every where I travel I see lots of them. And the vast majority have big smiles on their faces. So don't give up on your dream. Just find others who share it and haven't gotten so old in their minds that they have forgotten how they got started in boating and what boating is really about.

Hello eseyoung. You are correct that there are not a lot of under 50's in the Living Aboard 24/7 boating world.

Prior to that age the great majority of families are building equity and in the "gathering" stage of life. Your peers to a great extent are buying the latest HDTVs, fancy washing machines, snazzy cars, cool computers and games, and basically in acquisition mode.

Children are being raised and the almighty dollar is the primary goal. For a few others, having a life afloat means more than the Stuff. They might spend those years stashing equity so they can retire young and take up the cruising life.

As for the old curmudgeon who criticized your choice, he's jealous. He sees youth, determination and the energy/stamina he once had, focused on the life he prefers to enjoy with some exclusivity.

That his peers (the people he's associated with for years) won't reign him in is not altogether surprising. You're the new kid on the block. And you bring with your family Change.

Change is scary and unpredictable. It's not usually welcomed with open arms.

I know I prefer what is familiar.
In no way am I excusing his behavior.

You made the wise decision to immediately leave. You don't need that kind of strife in your life. After all, boating is for fun.

And if the folks at the yacht club want the status quo, they've got it. Another consideration: your old timer Might be in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's disease. Basically, he has no filter -- says what he thinks and if he's used to being in charge... well, his friends will rally around him, just as you protect your wife and child.

Anyway, welcome -- but I would not worry about the yacht club. Who knows? Someone there might give you a ring on the telephone and want to get together. If not, you will find other young folks out here. Not a lot -- but there are some.

Good luck.

eseyoung said:

First, let me apologize for what is going to be a rambling post....

to say that the last few weeks have been a whirlwind would be an understatement.

before I get to that let me tell a bit about us. We are mid 30s with a young daughter. Even before I met my wife we were both into being in, on or near water. For me it went father's boats, think ski boats and bass boats on a lake. Then on to jet skis, and run abouts of my own. When we started a family things were tight, we ended up with kayaks for a few years, but we were on the water and that's what matters!


finally, after a few years we were able to get back into something a little bigger scale than kayaking. We ended up with a fixer upper Albin27, you may have seen it in the classified sections, but I'll get to that in a moment.

Since saltwater/bay boating was totally new to us we decided to keep her at a yacht Club to try to gain knowledge from people who are more salty than us. We jumped on board with both feet. Spending every waking moment (and many sleeping) detecting ourselves (daughter including) to being on the water. Our club had become a second family, our small boat a second home. With things going great we listed our boat for sale in hopes of a bigger more comfortable second home.

Here is where things start to go wrong...around the same time a club member heard my wife and I taking, and thought what we were talking about applied to him...it didn't. Long story short is it set him off into a rage where, in front of my daughter, not only berated us but put his hands on my wife. Obviously, this didn't sit well and within the hour we and the boat were gone. The only thing anyone offered to do was `moderate` the situation...while the situation is water under the keel, his words ring out. Which was basically said that we were too young to be there and it wasn't a place for kids. Now I wouldn't let the words of one deter me but certainly his opinion was shared by other, as evident in lack of interest from the officers.

Last, for my question.
Is this a standing opinion? or just one of one club? Why don't we see more families on the water? Let's face a few facts, the days of people buying boats like they were in the 70s and 80s is over. What that means for us (young people) is the used inventory is getting smaller and older and will never improve. Until I convince my wife to move aboard we are on a budget that means we are looking at boats nearly as old as we are.

I have a buyer for my Albin and will shop for another, larger boat and a family friendly place to keep it. But as the boats and boaters age I may be doing with less company.

Click to expand...

Wifey B: I'm 35. You fell into his trap, proved his point. I would have stuck it up his behind and made sure he knew it was my club as much as his if I was happy there before. Yes, you were an oddity. But you could have just won them over I think. Even if it was the grandparent part loving your daughter or the older parent part looking after you.

Yes, you've moved up to a world populated by a lot of old fogies....hehe. Sorry people but I do love you all. You'll see things differently than they do. But just be comfy in yourself and give them all a chance. You let one person run you away. Seriously, most who have this type boat had to wait longer in life. They're great teachers and not just about boats. Is there prejudice? Darn right. But the way to overcome it isn't to run off in a rage one hour after the incident. You let him win.

You can't change how other people handle things, just you. Frankly I like the older people. They actually are interested in the water and not just into partying on the boat. I like trawler people. They're boaters. You condemned a whole group based on one. Did you think the group was going to jump up and toss the long time member? Moderate was reasonable. I bet someone would have called the old dude out in private too and told him off.

I mean I like live on a different planet than most people. I know some won't like me, but I like me and frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn. See, I even conform language to where I am. We have some older people who are important to us in our lives and value them so much. They live life much differently than me but we still are cool with each other and besties.

Why don't you see more families? Money and time. We're working our butts off in society and leisure time not there. Why have a boat to use 6 days a year or even 10? People too exhausted for it. It's sad. P....es me off. Not right. Families don't have time for each other.

Dream your dreams and don't let other troublemakers stand in the way. I shock older people every day of my life. And I corrupted my hubby. But I enjoy my freaking life and had that old guy laid his hands on me.....well. Oh, I'd like to say I would have kicked him somewhere painful. But honestly I would have said things very plainly using multi syllable words he might have had to look up later. My hubby might have intimidated him but not touched him. I've been in situations like that. Had old women comment about my dress or lack thereof. I always have a quick comeback. A lot of times put them in their place with humor...of course then they think I'm a smarta....

Why am I lecturing you and not the old guy? Cause I don't have access to him. I can't help him. Hopefully I can you. Pick yourself up, brush it off, and play ball.....

Oh and my hubby is 43. Dirty old man robbed the cradle.

esey,

How ironic. Our club's average age is 65. We have formed a committee to investigate how to lure a younger demographic…

Want to move to southeastern Connecticut? We would welcome you!

Rob

The "curmudgeon factor" or "cranky old fart factor" is alive and well in the yacht club set that I have been exposed to. At least locally.

That said the wife and I are typically the youngest folks we encounter on the water with a cabin cruiser. We're in our forties and most of the folks we encounter are 55+. We where actively discouraged from docking our boat in our marina by staff, suggesting we would much prefer a more "kid friendly" marina.

Needless to say, we enjoy our marina and are not club members(nor do we plan to be) either. This forum is my yacht club and I have formed lasting personal friendships here. One of them who hasn't posted here in quite a while just texted me an hour ago looking to hook up on the water.

Eventually most of the curmudgeons will die or go to convalescent homes and these same yacht clubs will actively recruit us looking for a way to spread expenses. Most likely I'll tell them to shove off.

Wow, some people these days just think they have the authority of Jesus Christ. Sucks for him he's that insecure about people talking about him, especially at that age. Sorry you had to go through that, that is defeinetly not acceptable. No one is ever to young for boating or any other recreation. And what really bothers me is he thinks he has the authority to say your to young to boat or run a boat or manage boat or what ever. You see that kid in the photos he's been running all sorts of things since 6 years of age. He is now 14, his dad (guy in the first pic) bought a Nordhavn, he hasn't docked or ran the boat once since he took ownership in December of 2013.(besides a couple canal cruises just following a channel.) Also that kid in the picture has been running heavy equipment since he could move joysticks and pedals.(oh he also knows how to drive a five speed Mack tandem dump truck) Anyways, the point of this is you're NEVER to young, whether your just starting out and learning or your an old time salt.

Wifeyb: I dont disagree with you in the least. If it were just my wife and i...well for starters, my wife would have made sure he went for a swim when his hands were on her. We moved the boat immediately to another marina but held our resignation for a week. The decision to not go back was based on the officers` reaction and most importantly my daughter's, who for a week talked about the man who pushed mommy as she drifted off to sleep.

Sounds like the guy did you a favor....

If his opinion was shared by others...and no one else stood up for you guys...best to be out of there.

As far as clubs and younger people...just about every club I know has some sort of youth programs and usually a committee to keep attracting new talent...young and old but the young are the difficult group.

Even the USCGAux constantly questions how to attract younger members....

And depending on where you are...joining a club is not always easy, can cost a small fortune and again...be a stuffy depending on it's overall flavor....so a young couple might be a rarity there but much more common at the next club over.

I think you ran into one nut job.
I'm a member of two yacht clubs.

One is made up of old farts like myself and really wants younger members.

The other one has a lot of young families and has a lot of events for young kids. I learned to sail at this club about fifty years ago.

hopcar said:

i think you ran into one nut job.
I'm a member of two yacht clubs.

One is made up of old farts like myself and really wants younger members.

The other one has a lot of young families and has a lot of events for young kids. I learned to sail at this club about fifty years ago.

Click to expand...

lyc?

Young Oliver, that back hoe would be just right to dig my pond. I'm sure your Dad wouldn't mind if you drove it down I-95 to Miami.

Cryc

There's a lot of obnoxious people in the world, I believe you had the unfortunate luck to run across one with a boat. If we enjoyed all other things about the place I would've stuck around and done my best to make sure he avoided me and mine like the plague.

HopCar said:

Young Oliver, that back hoe would be just right to dig my pond. I'm sure your Dad wouldn't mind if you drove it down I-95 to Miami.

Click to expand...

Yep!

eseyoung said:

Wifeyb: I dont disagree with you in the least. If it were just my wife and i...well for starters, my wife would have made sure he went for a swim when his hands were on her. We moved the boat immediately to another marina but held our resignation for a week. The decision to not go back was based on the officers` reaction and most importantly my daughter's, who for a week talked about the man who pushed mommy as she drifted off to sleep.

Click to expand...

Wifey B: Probably should have let your daughter tell him what she thought of him...hehe. That I'd like to see.

Ok, so it will happen again. How you going to handle it? (Rhetorical, don't need to answer). We don't do pot luck meals. People call us stuck up, uppity, even blonde bit... Me, hubby isn't blonde. We invite people to our boat. Spend time with couples or families. We say no thanks. They want to know why. We don't say. Truth is my hubby a bit germaphobic and we don't eat food we don't know the history of. Sorry. We did turn one down one night and got back to everyone in the marina throwing up. Well, everyone who had potato salad that sat in the 90 degree heat an hour or more before being eaten. We politely decline. But we don't lie either and make up some story. Just saying you'll be the oddball many times along the way. Some drunk old man on the dock might grab her behind. Ok, it's happened. I asked him how he liked it. Then asked him how he'd enjoy life as a eunuch. His wife laughed. He asked "What's that?" I told him his wife would explain.

We belong to a yacht club and know very few people there although I'm sort of known as the blonde with the big.....who doesn't wear much. But we joined for reciprocal and the tennis court. Benefit of a lot of old people, easy to get court times. We don't fit because we're not caste system types. We like the waitresses better than the Commander.

Don't let others pee on your parade.

When we joined our yacht club we had just returned from almost 3 years of bluewater cruising and had a newborn.. we were early and mid 30's.. our club welcomed us with open arms and Never had any issues with our kids.

In fact for years when the girls were young they always called to make sure we were at the Christmas functions Etc because the club wanted to have young members. Ironically at 50, we are still in the "young" crowd in the club!. You were in the wrong club for sure.. keep looking.. one is out there for sure.
Even with your kids being too young.. look for a club that runs youth sailing programs.. they know the value of getting kids interested at a young age.

My kids grew up on boats.. the one on the left came home after delivery at the hospital to our GB36.. and was docking Volunteer at age 10... she is now a Cadet at the US Airforce Academy.. the one on the right works summers as crew on a whale watch boat... both are still majorly into boats..

HOLLYWOOD

Your topic is interesting to me for a number of reasons. First off, we're not young 'uns. I'm in my 60-somethings and GW is in her 50-somethings. Yes, I AM a cradle robber!

We belong to two yacht clubs. The first I've been a member of for 12 years bur recently joined a nearby club for a number of reasons, one of which is they are aiming the club to be a "Condo Owner's Social Club" and not a boating club. That club is also an old-age club where most of the people are retired or nearing retirement age. Well, let me qualify that....the people who run the club are in that group. The only young people in that club use it for moorage. They keep their boats their but don't participate in club activities. They belong to the club only to have a place to slip their boat. Oh, and did I mention that very few of the older people in the club actually USE their boats?

This club, BTW, is hurting for members. They have a LOT of open slips and people are dropping their memberships right and left. Seems like the only people who join that club are new to boating and don't recognize the direction the club is heading.

On a related note, this club has had Friday BBQ's for as long as I've been a member. Years ago there were always 10-15 couples there and people had fun. Lately it's dropped off to where there were about 6-8 of us there, trying desperately to keep an old tradition alive.

So what did the club do? They banned the Friday night BBQ, saying that Friday nights could only be used for "Special Occasions".

The second club, which we just joined this month has a much younger membership. Lots of young families, lots of kids running around, full membership, slips are full, boat houses are full. You get the picture.

They're also a very active boating club. There are organized cruises about once a month and impromptu cruises every weekend.

Last night I was there for the Friday BBQ. There were about 30-40 adults and a dozen or so kids from age 3-15. They had a scavenger hunt for the kids, followed by a piñata filled with candy. They obviously are interested in having the kids around and make it a fun place for them.

So, the old fogies in Club #1 (RYC) don't want to boat, don't particularly want young families around and the club is a dying club as a result.

Club #2 (CIYC) is exactly the opposite. It's a fun place to be with fun people who like to boat and like to bring their kids around....and their slips and boathouses are full!

Go Figure.

Find a new club. Our club does not put up with members confronting members for anything. That really helps to keep the peace. As for age, from what I can tell, most clubs try hard to get younger members. Our club lets anyone under 40 defer a big part of the buy-in.

Eseyoung, to answer your question in the header of this thread, and as others have alluded to, the short answer is money and time. When young you are bringing up a young family, servicing a mortgage, paying for school and sport stuff etc for your kids, and sinking a lot of money into a boat has to take a bit of a back seat.

However, there are ways to get into boating cheaper, and we started out with a 20' trailer yacht, when our kids were 4 & 2 yrs old, respectively, and we were in out mid 30s. It was cramped, but we made it work, and one of the things we treasured and enjoyed the most was the support and interest we received from the other club members, which included a lot of older folk. We moved up through a maxi trailer yacht (Gazelle 26'), and eventually, after we had moved from NZ to Australia, a 35' diesel cruiser. Yet in many ways, we look back on those years sharing the close confines of the old Tasman 20, as the best.

These days we have out boat in a good marina, and I love having it there, but my biggest regret is there is no club associated with it. Several time people have tried to get one launched, but it always fizzled out. I guess because the marina is near the bay, but not near where most live, so one just dashes down, does one's thing, then dashes home again. Also, the facilities promised to house a club never eventuated.

You have your boat, you are liven' the dream. Do not let your experience put you off, and if possible get into a club again asap, and be movers and shakers, but don't take no s**t from anyone. Make things happen, and you'll be surprised how popular you become. There is nothing that gives us oldies, (yeah, I am one now I guess), more pleasure than seeing young families having a helluva good time.

This is a very interesting discussion to me on many levels. First of all, it seems apparent why there are not more young members at that club. When we started boating we were among some of the younger ones. Now, well, let's just say that is no longer the case. Being younger in a large group can take awhile to earn your stripes so to speak. It really shouldn't be that way, but is in many cases. Even in USPS and Coast Guard Auxiliary groups it seems to be so. There is no excuse for insolence and confrontation at a YC or the officers standing for it. That is a bad club.

Now, for another tact. Because I am a real estate developer and a community planner, we have to stay up on changing trends. Believe me things are changing fast, and mostly among younger people. For the first time ever owning a car or a home is considered important by fewer people than ever in my life time. Paddle boards, bicycles, and things of that nature are starting to replace the larger investments. Many look at owning a home will restrict their movement.

As a general rule I think that we will see fewer and fewer young people come into boating. When a ski boat can cost over $100,000.00 and gasoline is over $4.00/gal. the cost of entry is high. At least for the time being they seem to be congregating in urban centers, riding their bicycle, and socializing at the gym and bars.

The marine industry will have to adapt to the "new normal", or see their sales decline. What we may see is some buying older boats as live aboards if they see that as an economical alternative.

Enough of my rambling, but as I said it is a vexing subject on many levels.

"Boating is the best time you can buy."

I'm 39 and can attest that I am on the younger end. My father was 37 when he bought his first trawler (Outer Reef). I remember boating in the late 70s and 80s and can certainly tell that (1) there are far less boats on the water and (2) boating is increasingly becoming a game for the wealthy (or those in super debt).

What has changed? Well, there is less free time--this is backed up by countless studies. America has become the "no vacation nation". Americans are increasingly working more hours per week. I'm lucky to get one day of free time (Saturday) per week. It is virtually impossible to take two weeks off during the summer so I take a sporadic days off (Monday here and a Friday there). My parents were white collar executives during the 80s and were not on constant call or relegated to checking e-mail/text messages 24/7. We took long vacations as a family but this is impossible for me. My parents worked hard but had the time for their boating and vacations.

Let's not forget middle class Americans have less disposable income than years past. The income gap is reminiscent of the guided age.

Priorities have also changed. All those monthly charges for Internet, phone, cable, etc. add up.

Lastly, today's boaters demand speed and all the amenities but this certainly increases cost. Efficient displacement cruisers with low HP engines are rare and unpopular with the mass. Boating CAN be affordable if you are willing to so small and simple. Yes, I could afford a larger boat but would rather obey the KISS theory and put the rest toward retirement.

I was just looking at boat prices in a 1970 issue of Florida Sportsman. Prices (adjusted for inflation to 2014 dollars) for new fishing boats with 150HP to 400HP engines in the 20'-24' range were $28K to $43K. Also consider fuel was more affordable.

Your statement is so true... "the days of people buying boats like they were in the 70s and 80s is over." Sadly they are indeed...

This guy's actions were unbelievable. In my years on the bridge of one yacht club and my time spent meeting with the officers of other yacht clubs here in the Midwest this guy's actions were the exact opposite of one of the main goals of these clubs. Get younger members.

Many clubs know they face a problem replacing the members in the Baby Boom generation. Work and financial demands on families have changed in the last 30 years and those who are under 50 years of age have cut back on their social connections in organizations. An attitude such as displayed by the jerk in question if tolerated will lead to a decline in the club's membership over the years.

I am sorry you experienced this action.

I'm having trouble with the idea of a elder club member putting his hands on your wife can you be more specific? Being in my mid 50's I can't understand why anyone in a moment of anger would put their hands on another's spouse? Why did he assault your wife and why didn't you call the police? Look anyone can have a heated discussion but one should never put their hands on a woman, period as in never.
I'm inclined to think Dementia or Alzheimer's as well. Then again it could just be a type "A" personality that in the heat of the moment lost control?
2nd I rarely join clubs to me they are clicks and only a few offer any real benefits.
Your young enough where I hope this doesn't ruin you or your family's idea of what boating should be about?
Some more information would be nice and if you don't want to share it I can understand.
If someone laid their hanfds on my wife they would be picking themselves out of the water or off the floor, and I'd probably have broken my hand.
Bill

[
If someone laid their hanfds on my wife they would be picking themselves out of the water or off the floor, and I'd probably have broken my hand.
Bill[/QUOTE]

+2!! The only difference is my hands would still be in my pockets. After 30 years law enforcement, she has never needed my help. She has bailed me out a time or two though

dimer2 said:

[
If someone laid their hanfds on my wife they would be picking themselves out of the water or off the floor, and I'd probably have broken my hand.
Bill

Click to expand...

+2!! The only difference is my hands would still be in my pockets. After 30 years law enforcement, she has never needed my help. She has bailed me out a time or two though [/QUOTE]
My wife is extremely passive, I was a LEO in the 1980's didn't stay with it though and now I'm kicking myself. The money was terrible back then (FLEO) so I started my business. Now my old pals and gals in LE are all retired with great pensions and benefits and I'm left struggling to keep my head above water in this economy.
It is what it is.....
Regards,
Bill

eseyoung said:

................ Here is where things start to go wrong...around the same time a club member heard my wife and I taking, and thought what we were talking about applied to him...it didn't. Long story short is it set him off into a rage where, in front of my daughter, not only berated us but put his hands on my wife. Obviously, this didn't sit well and within the hour we and the boat were gone. The only thing anyone offered to do was `moderate` the situation...while the situation is water under the keel, his words ring out. Which was basically said that we were too young to be there and it wasn't a place for kids. Now I wouldn't let the words of one deter me but certainly his opinion was shared by other, as evident in lack of interest from the officers. .............

Click to expand...

What's missing here is the other side of the story. What were you talking about that made this man angry? What did your wife do or say to cause this man to "put his hands on your wife" and in what way did he put his hands on her? What has happened in the past? Is your daughter well behaved and respectful of others?

Are there other young families with young children at this club? Are they welcomed, tolerated, or are they treated poorly?

Boating clubs, like all clubs, have their own personalities. Some are casual, some are formal. Some are mostly old folks, some are more geared to families with small children.

From what you posted, I would say you didn't pick a club that suited your needs and wants. I hope you didn't have to spend a lot of money to join but I think it's best that you look for a different,, more family oriented club.

Eric, PM sent.

In our club, we've had our share of drunks and idiots over the years. Fortunately, our officers don't tolerate behavior like this and go after those who perpetrate it.

When a drunk veteran member grabbed my wife's butt during a dinner one evening, she loudly called him on it and then reported it to me. I calmly put my arm around his shoulder and assured him I'd break his arm if he ever did it again. I then reported it to the rest of the board (I was dockmaster's that year). When he sobered up, he apologized profusely because he knew the behavior was way out of bounds for our club and he risked suspension or expulsion. For the next 10 years, he apologized every time he saw me despite my reassurance that it was in the past and to stop worrying about it.

The reaction by the club to your experience is disturbing to say the least.

I'm the Rear Commodore of our yacht club- we have a decent balance of seasoned members and new blood. Our older members welcome new members with open arms- there has never been any challenge with new members.

If a COF touched any member of our club, he'd be out of the club and pending charges.