What I find very weird here is how any spouse could ever NOT have the same "dreams" as the other. Bess and I are in lockstep with our future. Always have been. If we don't agree on the big stuff, we don't do it. Sure, we have some side hobbies that aren't always the same (racing vs. yoga), but something as big as cruising or even just boat ownership in general, is just an all-encompassing lifestyle, I can't POSSIBLY fathom couples doing that separately. How can any man (or woman) possibly enjoy something without your chosen life partner by their side to share it with?
Tom, it sounds like you and your admiral are very much in tune with each other, and think alike. That is wonderful.
My admiral and I have our individual dreams. In some instances those dreams overlap, in other instances they do not, and its not just boats. I am an individual person, and so is my wife. We are not extensions of each other's personality, we are both independent creatures, drawn together through a common bond.
What we have, something that has matured over time is a respect for our individualism, and an agreed acceptance of our commonality and our differences.
Our doing things together falls along the same lines. I want to explore. I am driven to it in ways that are not explainable. I have a life history, long before my wife and I met of being an explorer. In fact we would not have met if I hadn't dropped everything on a dream of becoming an Alaskan Bush Pilot.
I cherish my wife very much, but that does not change the part of my personality, or quench my drive to explore. The great thing is that she respects that. That is part of what attracted her to me in the first place.
I often kid with her that she would have been happier marrying an accountant, but she didn't. She married an adventurer. She has been there, and will I'm sure will be there for whatever hair brained adventure I come up with next.
Sometimes kicking and screaming, but she has led a more exciting, certainly a more frightening, and in some ways a more fulfilling life, because of her choice in me as a husband.
And yes, I moved to Alaska, became a Alaskan Bush pilot, almost died many many times along the way, and had a GREAT time of it.