Thread: Humor
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Old 01-21-2014, 07:17 AM   #377
Larry M
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City: Jacksonville
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,683
Blond Men

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is
on a Friday this year."

The blond man then said,
"Let's hope it's not the 13th."

------------------------------------
Two blond men find three
grenades, and they decide to take them to a police

station. One asked: "What if one
explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll
lie and say we only found two."

------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and
said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are
having sex.
The whole street was
watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blond man replied: "Well
the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home
yesterday."

------------------------------------
A blond man is in the bathroom and his
wife shouts: "Did you find the
shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to
do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

------------------------------
A blond man goes to the vet with his
goldfish.
"I think it's got
epilepsy," he tells the vet.

The vet takes a look and says, "It
seems calm enough to me".

The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't
taken it out of the bowl yet".

------------------------------------
A blond man spies a letter lying on his
doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the
phone
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks
the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her
husband!"

------------------------------------
A blond man was driving home, drunk as a
skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then
another, then another.
A cop car pulls him
over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

The cop says, "That's your air
freshener swinging about!"

------------------------------------
A blond man is in jail.. Guard looks in
his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?"
he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond
replies.

"It should be around your neck"
says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but
then I couldn't breathe".

------------------------------------
(This one actually makes sense...sort
of...)

An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why
do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they
fell forward, they'd still be in the
boat."
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