An Accident Waiting to happen

I mentioned to the father "there are some big gators down there"( and there are) no reply
Steve W

Baker said:

In this particular case, I would not say anything unless I could see a definite way to improve upon the way they are doing things. Other than that it is just a matter of being careful. But in the case of the lady up the mast, I would have said something. It is just too easy to send her up with a safety tether that could save her life. Or maybe the husband was up to something....;-/

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The guy may know exactly what he is doing!

Do you do anything when you see a family go by in their outboard, a couple little kids sitting on the bow with their legs dangling over the side. No pfd's in sight.

Other than saying to myself or whoever I'm with, "There's an accident waiting to happen," no. For one thing there's no way we're going to catch them to tell them anything. For another, I believe it's illegal in this state to have kids below a certain age on a boat without PFDs so if they come within sight of a city police boat, sherrif's boat, or a USCG boat they will very likely be stopped. (Not sure the USCG gets involved in state law enforcement, though.)

I'm not a big fan of a nanny state mentality, so I tend to take the view that people pretty much deserve what their actions get them. If the parents think it's just fine for their kids to ride the bow of their boat and do so without PFDs that's their parenting decision and that family is responsible for and will have to live with the consequences be they good or bad.

My telling them they're making a mistake is not going to change their minds about what they're doing, particularly in this situation. It's not like someone isn't aware of some clever docking technique that you can point out and explain. There is all sorts of in-your-face information and warnings about proper PFD use. Our marina has this stuff posted all over the place and even has a kid's PFD loaner program. If parents choose to ignore all this common sense information, posted warnings, etc. I can only conclude they are doing so deliberately.

And I don't view it as my responsibility to tell them how to run their family. Whether I think what they are doing is right or wrong, responsible or irresponsible, smart or stupid, it's not my family to run. It's theirs.

In my opinion Bob summed it up best a few posts ago with his MYOB statement. That has been my attitude toward others my whole life and I see no reason to change.

Everything that happens on or around the boat is the captain's responsibility. Not yours.

It's really never a good idea to challenge a skipper's boat handling, docking, manhood, ect... while underway.

Perhaps at a bar, late at night, after way too many, you could tell him a scary story and let him make the connection himself.

I am a nosey neighbor. I find these deals too be a realy tough call for me. I do not know what the stats actualy would show but most of the time nothing bad actualy happens.

Yet for some reason I seem to be running or jumping into the fire when stuff goes sideways, way too often. Its that nosey neighbor thing.

Say nothing and be prepared to deal with a bad outcome? I will say something from time to time in hopes it leaves them with a thought or two to mull over. When I feel I should. Some folk are fine with suggestions some not at all. But I do care so the effort is for me. I realy have nothing to loose in doing so.

Respect is hard to earn yet very easy to loose.

Tough call.

Each to their own, I guess.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with offering a little neighborly caution to someone taking a serious risk they may not be aware of. I certainly don't see it driving us all to a "nanny state" and would consider it a favor if someone pointed out risky behavior to me. In fact, if unsolicited advice is a bad thing, why are we all reading the TF?

Finally, I've received the one-fingered salute for saying "good morning" before, so I don't think that particular reaction would bother me too much.

Call me a hard ass but Sh1t happens.

Unless I see somebody doing something really stupid. like a kid playing with fire. I Mind my own business.

Sd

be careful

Interesting thread ... The message to me is go slow and think ahead for any possible danger ... If identified speak up in a tactful way ..... wives seem to like that approach ............ if you care!! jp

angus99 said:

In fact, if unsolicited advice is a bad thing, why are we all reading the TF?

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Valid question. Speaking strictly for myself, I view general-topic amateur forums like this one as purely entertainment.

The few times I've asked for advice or opinions on a piece of equipment or whatever the responses were so all over the map and conflicting that they were of minimal value and I ended up seeking out the information elsewhere.

And I would hope that whenever I have offered "advice" about some aspect of boating that people who read it are smart enough to verify it with a credible resource of their own, be it their diesel shop, a local shipwright, someone actually in the marine electronics business, an experienced boater they know personally, etc.

But it is entertaining as this thread has shown. As usual, the opinions are all over the map and in the end, everybody will continue to do exactly what they've been doing all along.

Some people feel it's their duty to stick their noses in other people's business and like nothing more to have an opportunity to tell someone else what they're doing wrong and how they should be doing it instead. We encounter people like this occasionally who come over and start telling us what we should or should not be doing. Most of the time we ignore them but on a few occasions the person has gotten really aggressive with their "do this" commands so I (my wife is way too polite to do this) simply tell them to piss off.

And there are people like myself who feel that people are totally responsible for themselves and will get what they deserve from their actions and it is not my responsibility to "correct" them. So while I may observe a boater doing something I think may not be too wise I leave it to them to sort out. (Coming to the aid of someone actually in trouble is a different deal altogether.)

And the people in both camps are not going to change as a result of an Internet discussion as entertaining and as interesting as it might be.

Marin said:

Some people feel it's their duty to stick their noses in other people's business and like nothing more to have an opportunity to tell someone else what they're doing wrong and how they should be doing it instead. We encounter people like this occasionally who come over and start telling us what we should or should not be doing. Most of the time we ignore them but on a few occasions the person has gotten really aggressive with their "do this" commands so I (my wife is way too polite to do this) simply tell them to piss off.

And there are people like myself who feel that people are totally responsible for themselves and will get what they deserve from their actions and it is not my responsibility to "correct" them. So while I may observe a boater doing something I think may not be too wise I leave it to them to sort out. (Coming to the aid of someone actually in trouble is a different deal altogether.).

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I guess what each of us does depends on a world-view that has little to do with boating. I've seen a friend pinned between a boat and a dock and I doubt I'll ever forget it nor, hopefully, will I fail to point out the risks to someone who might not know. That said, if someone approached me aggressively, as you describe above, they'd probably get the one-fingered salute. But if they were polite and well-meaning, I wouldn't consider that sticking their nose in my business.

Well, Andy G I hope this discussion has cleared things up. It has for me.

Clear as mud.

In this instance I was in the MYOB camp. We all have our own 'line in the sand' on these things, so as in all things you make a choice and live with it.

As she was a stranger that tipped me into the MYOB camp, had it been a friend that probably would have pushed me over the proverbial line in the sand.

Andy G said:

Clear as mud.

In this instance I was in the MYOB camp. We all have our own 'line in the sand' on these things, so as in all things you make a choice and live with it.

As she was a stranger that tipped me into the MYOB camp, had it been a friend that probably would have pushed me over the proverbial line in the sand.

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yup!

Andy G said:

Yesterday I was on the boat checking lines etc for some predicted heavy weather when a large sports style boat backed up past me to their pen.

There was this old guy driving from the flybridge, and his wife at the stern out on the Marlin board with boat hook in hand.She was holding on to the transom with one hand and reaching out with the boat hook in the other.

About three feet beneath her were two presumably large props churning away. If she slipped or over balanced I think an extra from 'Jaws' would have had more chance than she would.

I guess it begs the question, should I have wandered up to the skipper and his partner and given them the benefit of my observation, only to receive the succinct Aussie two word reply concerning sex and travel?

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nope, at least not untill they were safe and secure, then give em a talking to

After Mrs Boater is sliced up by props, or quadriplegic from a masthead fall, I may likely think " what if I`d risked a rude response and said something.....".
It`s a personal thing.Those with no risk of regret will be fine staying quiet.

Getting in on this late, but it is my opinion that it is none of your business. They can boat the way they want as long as it is not endangering your boat and the people on your boat. If they ASK for your opinion you can let it fly.

OK, no yawn smilies, so here is the original post in smilies.

Ten years ago, without question, I'd have marched straight over and pointed out the dangers in what I saw.

Now, I mind my own business. I tell myself to just pretend I wasn't there, and let them get on with their own business.

I wish there was more I could do, but at the end of the day, why upset people? If they're that stupid, then they'll probably start doing other stupid stuff anyway.

I just can't pass up giving my pesos worth here. There are a lot of irresponsible people out there and you could spend the rest of your natural life trying to stop them from making a bad or even fatal mistake. Unless it affects you, your safety, or the safety of the people you are responsible for let it go. Besides the gene pool needs to be cleaned up anyway.

I just usually yell out, " hey dragon breath...".

subsailer said:

I just can't pass up giving my pesos worth here. There are a lot of irresponsible people out there and you could spend the rest of your natural life trying to stop them from making a bad or even fatal mistake. Unless it affects you, your safety, or the safety of the people you are responsible for let it go. Besides the gene pool needs to be cleaned up anyway.

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iresponsible??.....oh, i know, those be the people that allow there vessel to run out of beer.

genes??.....Yep, wash mine at least once a week or sooner if i fall overboard, and i have been known to do when tendin bar...

No pesos on board, my tu beers worth

It's good to throw a little chlorine in the gene pool occasionally.