It's been a rough decade and bad year.

[menzies]

I guess the negative connotation on having a bucket list is from the excellent movie of that name where he was dying.
However a bucket list is simpy a list of things you want to do, period.
My wife has one, I do not, because I am too lazy to make one! But I am very happy to enjoy hers!
So far Niagara Falls, Alaskan Cruise, Puerto Rico, Yellowstone, white water rafting. African Safari next month. Already booked for next year; zip lining over a tropical forest (Costa Rico), Macchu Pichu, and Galapagos!
So the best of luck Ben, there's still a lot of living to do!

 

[ben2go]

https://www.cancer.gov/research/nci-role/cancer-centers/find

This is the link to the directory for the comprehensive cancer centers. There are none in s Carolina. I can recommend Duke from personal experience with my dad. In florida I send everyone to Moffitt.

For sake of full disclosure, I am opening an office for a preclinical stage cancer immunotherapy company on the Moffitt cancer center campus this fall.

Thank you for that info.


Good luck with getting the office set up. I know what an ordeal that can be. I helped set up a chiropractic clinic a couple times that my mother works for. I'm talking the physical layout. No clue on the business side. They have added several different options that required a rearranging of their office. I was a younger man back then.

I agree completely. I do have some things I want to do but they are not on a list. My current "goal" is to live to the year 2091 when I plan on immigrating to Mars.

At 41 with my health I doubt I'll make it. The one thing that I really wish I could be here for is if/when we start traveling the universe similar to the TV show Star Trek. I'd really like to be part of that. Alas, it is not to be, at least for now.

I guess the negative connotation on having a bucket list is from the excellent movie of that name where he was dying.
However a bucket list is simpy a list of things you want to do, period.
My wife has one, I do not, because I am too lazy to make one! But I am very happy to enjoy hers!
So far Niagara Falls, Alaskan Cruise, Puerto Rico, Yellowstone, white water rafting. African Safari next month. Already booked for next year; zip lining over a tropical forest (Costa Rico), Macchu Pichu, and Galapagos!
So the best of luck Ben, there's still a lot of living to do!

I haven't been a big movie or TV guy for about 15 years now, maybe a little longer. I never saw that movie. My bucket list is kind of short.


Cruise the Great Loop for at least one year and preferably two. Hopefully, in a boat I build.



Travel the US and Canda on my motorcycle, which I own and nearly have it set up to my liking. I have a collection of underappreciated motorcycles.


Tour UK and Europe by motorcycle and train for a couple months.



I have other smaller things I would like to do such as hike Cades Cove, TN and the mountain around there again. I did the hard trails when I was a teen. I would like to revisit that area and repeat the hike. I'm old enough now to really take it all in and enjoy the adventure.


Win the lottery for 100's of millions of dollars and never speak a word of it to anyone. I'll quitely slip away to some remote exotic location, like FL (just kidding), and live quitely ever after.

 

[ben2go]

Tomorrow is the day. We go to the doc for more testing. He is doing and ultrasound on her pelvic region and lower abdomen to locate any "anomalies". Then it's straight into doing a biopsy. It is all done in-house. They are in the outpatient center inside our local hospital. Then we have some important decisions to make.

As for me, my PSA came back elevated from my doc appointment a couple weeks ago. (My appointment and the SO's were a couple days apart.) They ran the test several times to be sure. At 41 yeasr old, they thought it would be prudent to be certain. My doctor's nurse called and scheduled an appointment for early March to do another PSA test along with additional blood work.

I don't know if I understand it correctly. I believe that the PSA can be elevated and return to normal when a man is on HRT. I'm thinking maybe an extremely mild infection could be possible. I don't know.


Since going through my close call with colon cancer, when I was 35, my immune system seems to be stronger since getting my digestive system semi under control. In my youth, I stayed very sick. I kept respiratory infections, urinary tract infections, colds, flus, and had a couple prostate infections between 17 and 22 years old. Now that my digestive system is in better health, I never get sick. I haven't had a sniffle

 

[RT Firefly]

 

[BandB]

Tomorrow is the day. We go to the doc for more testing. He is doing and ultrasound on her pelvic region and lower abdomen to locate any "anomalies". Then it's straight into doing a biopsy. It is all done in-house. They are in the outpatient center inside our local hospital. Then we have some important decisions to make.

As for me, my PSA came back elevated from my doc appointment a couple weeks ago. (My appointment and the SO's were a couple days apart.) They ran the test several times to be sure. At 41 yeasr old, they thought it would be prudent to be certain. My doctor's nurse called and scheduled an appointment for early March to do another PSA test along with additional blood work.

I don't know if I understand it correctly. I believe that the PSA can be elevated and return to normal when a man is on HRT. I'm thinking maybe an extremely mild infection could be possible. I don't know.


Since going through my close call with colon cancer, when I was 35, my immune system seems to be stronger since getting my digestive system semi under control. In my youth, I stayed very sick. I kept respiratory infections, urinary tract infections, colds, flus, and had a couple prostate infections between 17 and 22 years old. Now that my digestive system is in better health, I never get sick. I haven't had a sniffle

Just one day at a time. The diagnoses and medical records are one thing. How you feel is another. Don't let them cross. Don't let yourself feel physically worse based simply on labs or doctors. Also, make sure you get a biopsy slide to take anywhere else you go. Any cancer center is going to want their own pathologist and the doctor to read it together, not to simply accept what another pathologist said.

Best of luck to you both. Keep the hope up.

 

[Moonstruck]

Ben,

For both your sakes please, please, please keep urging you SO to seek testing and treatment sooner rather than later. When my late wife was diagnosed with cancer she said that she was not mentally ready for surgery. She was a formidable woman. Once her mind was made up there was no changing it. We had a trip planned to the Cayman Islands. I made her promise to schedule surgery as soon as we returned. Did the 2 weeks make a difference? There will always be a question in my mind. Don't let this question linger in your minds. Tell your SO that grand children are the rewards of old age. She does not want to miss it.

Don

 

[ben2go]

Thank you all.

Things are looking up. Ultrasound came back clean and nothing out of the ordinary except some thickening of her uterine wall. The doctor did a biopsy as a precaution but has assured us that it will probably come back clean.

As of now, it looks like there may have been some error with the initial lab work from her PAP test. We were assured it will be looked into.

I really do appreciate everyone's words of encouragement and sharing of experiences. We are both a bit relieved for now. We have an appointment in two weeks to get the biopsy results in person.

 

[Bigsfish]

Ben. Hang in there, advancements are made everyday in cancer research. The best of luck to you and your family.

 

[Art]

Ben,

For both your sakes please, please, please keep urging you SO to seek testing and treatment sooner rather than later. When my late wife was diagnosed with cancer she said that she was not mentally ready for surgery. She was a formidable woman. Once her mind was made up there was no changing it. We had a trip planned to the Cayman Islands. I made her promise to schedule surgery as soon as we returned. Did the 2 weeks make a difference? There will always be a question in my mind. Don't let this question linger in your minds. Tell your SO that grand children are the rewards of old age. She does not want to miss it.

Don

My God Don... I agree sooo much. Formidable is a term also applied to my Linda. Health matters have happened in our family; other/new items are arising, currently. Luckily, for me, I am the healthy one who ceases to stop pushing hard for quickly attaining reparative actions. I do run into walls some times. To date, for the most part, circumstances have been handled successfully... I'm not sure about tomorrow outcome on other things.

Regarding health issues: I say to all persons in all parameters of life - be bold, move forward carefully and quickly as possible to get best care available for overcoming stumbling blocks that rear themselves in front of you/us.

Life can seem like a bowl of cherries... till it ain't!

 

[ben2go]

Ben. Hang in there, advancements are made everyday in cancer research. The best of luck to you and your family.

Thank you.

My God Don... I agree sooo much. Formidable is a term also applied to my Linda. Health matters have happened in our family; other/new items are arising, currently. Luckily, for me, I am the healthy one who ceases to stop pushing hard for quickly attaining reparative actions. I do run into walls some times. To date, for the most part, circumstances have been handled successfully... I'm not sure about tomorrow outcome on other things.

Regarding health issues: I say too all persons in all parameters of life - be bold, move forward carefully and quickly as possible to get best care available for overcoming stumbling blocks that rear themselves in front of you/us.

Life can seem like a bowl of cherries... till it ain't!

 

[HopCar]

Ben my wife and I have been dealing with this same situation. The cancer center taking care of us offers physiatric help as well. Take advantage of it. Anxiety and depression comes with cancer. Don’t try to just bull your way through it. It will just wear you out.

 

[ben2go]

Ben my wife and I have been dealing with this same situation. The cancer center taking care of us offers physiatric help as well. Take advantage of it. Anxiety and depression comes with cancer. Don’t try to just bull your way through it. It will just wear you out.

Good luck to you both. I hope everything comes out well and you're both well afterward.





Everything came back good today. Fingers crossed, and the biopsy comes back negative as well. The doctor seems to think it will be negative due to her age and situation with being premenopausal.

 

[ben2go]

We just got back from the hospital. It happened again, this time the SO was by herself and the car is totaled. That's three wrecks for her in seven months in the same car. I was with her in two wrecks and I was the driver. She was hit in the left rear this afternoon. She was stopped waiting for a school bus to pass so she could turn left. A LADY was speeding (60 in a 35mph curve) when she hit my SO. She was driving a '04 Silverado 4x4 extended cab truck.



I arrived at the scene 15 minutes after it happened. Police was already there. She wouldn't go by ambulance to the hospital because we had to get our son from school. She didn't want to be without one of us. I took care of the car, got her home, picked up our son, and took her to the hospital.



Six hours in the hospital, and we're just getting home. She has a severe contusion from her left temple to just above her ear resulting in muscle damage to her left jaw, severe whiplash with a golfball size knot in her neck, seatbelt rash, and a mild concussion. Her head bounced off of the B pillar between the front and rear doors. Fortunately, the seat belt kept her from hitting the steering wheel. As the car spun around, and up the road she was turning on, she was thrown forward and received a lot of seat belt rash across her neck and chest. The initial hit caused her head to hit the B pillar. The side curtain airbags never deployed which would have prevent most of her injuries. We've had a lot of issues with this Soul since we bought it new three years ago. We are going to have the issue looked into. Lawyers and more doctors appointments are being made in the morning.


For now, I need a shower to wash this day off me and some sleep so I can better process what happened and what I need to do when I wake up in the morning. Good night TF world.

 

[menzies]

Jaysus.

Shaking my head here.

 

[BandB]

Wifey B: It's so hard to read and find a way to respond with encouragement, but I do believe when you do get beyond this period and, hopefully, that's very soon, nothing in life will ever deter you again. For us, it was early in our time together and since that time we've been so happy to have survived it and be with each other, normal things in life didn't register or phase us. I hope for you guys this is it and soon you can move on and find yourself amazed and the normal crap in life won't phase you anymore. At least that's my hope for you. This period will then seem like an old nightmare but one that shaped you for the future. It will strengthen you as a couple and parents and people will be amazed because they won't grasp what you've been through. At least that's what I hope for with all I have. now soon

 

[RT Firefly]

Mr. b2g. Get some sleep, my friend...

 

[Art]

Best wishes for oncoming success about what you are and who you are regarding what you are experiencing and for coming out on top... in the long run!

 

[BruceK]

I`ve heard bad things come in threes. Usually I hope not, but in your case, having had the 3, you are due for respite from bad things. Hope it turns out well.

 

[Ostriman]

Wow! My wife is a radiation oncologist. What We have learned is that just when you think finally things are all nice and tidy, all the plans you put off until “later” have a way of becoming never. We bought Our Happy Place even though not financially the best idea right now. I cross the causeway into Galveston and blood pressure drops. I unlock the cabin, haul in gear and have only the concerns about the chores which I LOVE doing even if sometimes frustrating.
Hang in there both of you, but get on boat as often and as long as possible!

 

[ben2go]

Thank you all. It means a lot having people rooting for us and sending us good thoughts.

This year has been very trying for us both. Today we've spoken with lawyers and made appointments. We picked up the police report and filed that with our auto insurance and the hospital. We're waiting to hear from the other lady's insurance so we can get a rental car. Luckily, we are in good with our dealer where we bought our car. They let us pick and chose from their rental fleet.

The damage to the car looks superficial but it runs through the entire unibody and damaged the steering. The rear axle is done. It's a beam axle common under front wheel drive vehicles. There are so many little components damaged it's hard to remember or list them all.


We had to go through the area where the wrecked happened to pick up the police report. We looked over the intersection to make sure I picked up all the broken parts. Without seeing the way the roads are shaped in person, it's hard to understand how the car spun and where it stopped. Having a second look today made me realize that Mal was lucky the car didn't roll over. Looking at the skid marks, the left rear never touched the ground until the car came to a stop. Then it left a small skid about 6 feet long. Kia Souls are notorious for rolling over when hit at an angle in the rear or side.

 

[ben2go]

More tests for Mal today. Everything came back fine as far as bone injuries. Her facial injuries are soft tissue and pulled muscles. Her neck has severe whiplash and pulled muscle from her neck down around her shoulder with an overextension event. Love that wording, "overextension event".


Lawyer appointment next week. The tow company came and hauled the car to the dealership where we bought the car new. They will have to evaluate the unibody damages and report back to the other lady's insurance. It should be totalled. The rear beam axle replacement and liftgate replacement together equal more than half the value of the car going by current market prices.



Now it's a wait and see game until at least middle of next week.

 

[ben2go]

Just a recap of this years wreck events.

Our wrecks have been crazy. All three of us were together in our Soul in February for the first one. The second one, a month ago, Mal and I were in the Soul. Three hours later, I was in my third wreck for the year alone in my truck. Two days ago, Mal was alone on her way home from work in our Soul when her thrid wreck happen. Absolutely none of these wrecks were our fault which I am thankful for.

 

[BandB]

Just a recap of this years wreck events.

Our wrecks have been crazy. All three of us were together in our Soul in February for the first one. The second one, a month ago, Mal and I were in the Soul. Three hours later, I was in my third wreck for the year alone in my truck. Two days ago, Mal was alone on her way home from work in our Soul when her thrid wreck happen. Absolutely none of these wrecks were our fault which I am thankful for.

The only time I've ever come close to that was when I was a teenager but had no injuries. My mother and I had something like this, mostly parked.

1. I've driving her car, taking her sisters Christmas shopping and car pulls out from side street in front of us. We had damage but driveable. His car wasn't. No one hurt.

2. Her car parked on street while she played cards at friend's and someone backed into it, didn't report, but quickly identified and caught.

3. Me parked at restaurant and huge delivery van hits it and runs. Fortunately, someone saw and the van was labelled clearly with the business name.

4. Drunk driver runs light in front of me, major damage to him, mine still driveable.

5. Truck turns in front of me and bucket of paint flies out their door into my lane. I didn't even slow down, straight to dealer, who started right then and was able to remove it. Insurance company was upset over no estimate until informed they just saved $1000+ by me not waiting.

6. I'm in a business less than 15 minutes and get backed into and the person runs and gets away. Heavy damage.

7. My mother is at hotel in Daytona Beach with family and truck backs into her and runs. Seen by employee but makes it back to GA before he can be stopped so all they could do was warrant for his arrest in FL if he ever got stopped there. He denied doing it and in spite of police report, his insurer refused to pay.

8. Mother rear ended. Actually she'd been rear ended about 18 months earlier and insurer delayed and didn't pay for her neck injury. So, this time rear ended and as luck would have it same insurer. They paid dearly this time.

I had not thought of any of that in years until reading about yours. Still none of ours approached the seriousness of yours. Plus yours on top of other challenges in your life. Can only sympathize and hope for your life to settle down.

 

[ben2go]

Thanks. We've both been in some crazy wrecks over the years. Fortunately, we've never had any that were our fault. I thought as we got older and wiser, our years would get easier and less complicated. Gees were we wrong.

 

[BandB]

Thanks. We've both been in some crazy wrecks over the years. Fortunately, we've never had any that were our fault. I thought as we got older and wiser, our years would get easier and less complicated. Gees were we wrong.

Wifey B: It's clear you both need to spend more time on the water as land is very dangerous for you.

 

[ben2go]

Wifey B: It's clear you both need to spend more time on the water as land is very dangerous for you.

 

[ben2go]

Good news finally!

I am skin cancer free!


My doctor removed the last places on me today because they were not looking good. The rest were not cancerous. I had a basil cell carcinoma above my private area, I do mean right above, that was removed a year ago after failed attempts at using a skin cancer cream.


Our lawyer gave us some important info yesterday, about Mal's wreck she had last week. He is helping us, to help ourselves, resolve the wreck and get fairly compensated. He's not charging us for his services. He is a really good guy. I'm glad we found him by accident.


This Friday, we get her test results back and learn if she has uterine cancer. Fingers crossed, it comes back negative.


We haven't heard back from our dealership about our car. The insurance adjuster has been called several times to look at all of the underlying damage that was hidden behind all the plastic body panels in the rear. Tomorrow, I am hoping to visit the dealer and have a look at the progress, if there is any and get an update.


Thank you everyone for your support through this trying time.