Humor
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The friendliest place on the web for anyone who enjoys boating.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
I wasn't far off on the actual conjunctive words in my W.C. quote on post # 1533! Certainly captured the theme.
I watched that W.C. show when in my middle teens. Yup, I was already readily partaking of bear, mixed as well as straight liquor... and other obnoxious libations. Instantly [way back then] that W.C Fields quote hit home as reality and stuck in my mind like glue!
On my own volition, 11/25/1995, 1/2 way through my 43rd year, I quit drinking and smoking. Not one sip or puff since. Life was good before and ever more grand since! Received my 24 yr chip 11/25/2019 at a New Port beach meeting. 12/16/2019 was our 23dr anniversary as a couple. Members will understand... that I adhered to the recommended one year or longer rule of thumb before entering into a relationship.
Ya gotta love W.C. fields quotes... and ya gotta love life. I do, on both counts!! Thank God
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BruceK
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The late Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies(aka Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports, and aka "Pig Iron Bob") at election campaign meetings encountering lady hecklers:
1. Heckler: "You two faced liar"
Menzies : "Madam, if you were two faced you would not be wearing that one".
2. Heckler: If you were my husband I`d give you poison"
Menzies: Madam,If I were married to you I`d drink it".
1. Heckler: "You two faced liar"
Menzies : "Madam, if you were two faced you would not be wearing that one".
2. Heckler: If you were my husband I`d give you poison"
Menzies: Madam,If I were married to you I`d drink it".
RT Firefly
Enigma
Greetings,
Not REALLY humor but...(stolen from another site).
Not REALLY humor but...(stolen from another site).
:lol:
RT Firefly
Enigma
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RT Firefly
Enigma
RT Firefly
Enigma
Greetings,
Mr. m. "Huh?" Cheap whiskey...
Mr. m. "Huh?" Cheap whiskey...
RT Firefly
Enigma
Greetings,
Mr. A. Thank you for the vote of confidence and to paraphrase David Niven..."You lousy bums, you and your stinking language, you think I know f***ing nothing, well let me tell you— I know F*** ALL!”
Unfortunately, in my advancing years, I have lost the ability to decipher codeum inebriatus so an interpretation of your (post #1539) is beyond my current skill set. Most grievous apologies. You, sir, will have to provide the enlightenment...
Mr. A. Thank you for the vote of confidence and to paraphrase David Niven..."You lousy bums, you and your stinking language, you think I know f***ing nothing, well let me tell you— I know F*** ALL!”
Unfortunately, in my advancing years, I have lost the ability to decipher codeum inebriatus so an interpretation of your (post #1539) is beyond my current skill set. Most grievous apologies. You, sir, will have to provide the enlightenment...
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Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said "Well, I eat a lot of rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies".
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said "I want five loaves".
The sales lady said "My goodness... five loaves? By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard".
The 80-year old man replied "I can't believe everybody knows about this **** but me".
The 87-year-old said "Well, I eat a lot of rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies".
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said "I want five loaves".
The sales lady said "My goodness... five loaves? By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard".
The 80-year old man replied "I can't believe everybody knows about this **** but me".
RT Firefly
Enigma
WARNING! May not be appropriate. Mods, remove if a problem please.
And in honor of the upcoming festivities in Fort Pierce...
And in honor of the upcoming festivities in Fort Pierce...
RT Firefly
Enigma
Greetings,
Sorta political...
Sorta political...
RT Firefly
Enigma
BruceK
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Man takes a phone call from the local police:
"Sargent Smith here, I`m with your wife, she looks like she`s been run over by a bus".
Man replies:"I know, but to be fair, she`s very good with the kids".
"Sargent Smith here, I`m with your wife, she looks like she`s been run over by a bus".
Man replies:"I know, but to be fair, she`s very good with the kids".
WARNING! May not be appropriate. Mods, remove if a problem please.
I think I know how to get it removed. You need a new caption. It would read something like this:
"Hold still Mr. ____________ . We'll get __________'s head out of there in a minute."
Place the name of your least-favorite recent president in the first blank, and the name of a biased TV talking-head sycophant in the second.
It works just as well for either party.
Capt Tom - That's Down East Humor if I've ever seen any!!
PS: I transplanted from LI NY. Lived in Camden/Rockland for rears during late 60's to mid 70's... Built, owned and ran a tavern/restaurant - sold it early-on in its existence for great profit! Best friends in life still live in that area. Brother lives in Thomaston.
I can almost hear the Down East "slang" in your up-tic words to RT's monkey filled comedy!
PS: I transplanted from LI NY. Lived in Camden/Rockland for rears during late 60's to mid 70's... Built, owned and ran a tavern/restaurant - sold it early-on in its existence for great profit! Best friends in life still live in that area. Brother lives in Thomaston.
I can almost hear the Down East "slang" in your up-tic words to RT's monkey filled comedy!
menzies
Guru
This popped on my FB memories from 4 years ago. Not sure if I originally got it from this thread, but just in case it wasn't, here it is!
The wife was screaming at me: "Leave! Get out of this house!" she ordered. "I never want to see you again!"
As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
So I turned around and replied, "So now you want me to stay?"
The wife was screaming at me: "Leave! Get out of this house!" she ordered. "I never want to see you again!"
As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
So I turned around and replied, "So now you want me to stay?"
wkearney99
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Why do women live longer?
"Til death us part". FINE, if that's what it'll take to get out of this...
Why are wedding dresses white?
To match the kitchen and laundry room appliances!
Wifey B: Mine wasn't white.
Neither are our appliances.
menzies
Guru
Wifey B: Mine wasn't white.
Do you have small feet?
Why are women's feet so small?
So they can get closer to the stove!
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SteveK
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