Humor

[FF]

FP Edit: Send cute animals!

funnypunsign

 

[FF]

Gas prices in 1939

Men protesting prohibition, 1925

In 1918, you could buy a home from a Sears catalog for under $1300

A man promoting himself during The Great Depression, 1930s

1958 Plymouth model and price chart

In 1898, Bayer begins mass production of heroin as a remedy for coughs and colds.

Unknown man during the Great Depression. (1932)

No Beatle Haircuts (1965)

Instructions on How to Open a New Book.

Jewish people protesting in Ellis Island against their deportation back to Germany. (1936)

Marriage Broker advertisement, 1889

pom


Mister Merry's play lighter toy with bubble gum cigarettes from the 1960s

The cost of living in 1938

Vintage Swanson ad featuring a variety of frozen dinners you can eat while watching TV.

Harley Davidson Mobile Booking Cage, 1920








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[FF]

Marriage Broker advertisement, 1889

pom


Mister Merry's play lighter toy with bubble gum cigarettes from the 1960s

The cost of living in 1938

Vintage Swanson ad featuring a variety of frozen dinners you can eat while watching TV.

Harley Davidson Mobile Booking Cage, 1920

They didn't mince words on this anti-smoking sign in Illinois from 1915!

Sale on men's suits in 1920

Just Divorced in 1934

Lucy and Desi in a Philip Morris cigarette ad, 1952

How babies traveled on airplanes in the 1960s

Inventor C.H. Gaunt wears a gas mask and tests his patented gas-proof pet shelter on a small dog in 1940

Doctors use an x-ray machine to aid in inserting a catheter into the large blood vessel of the patient's heart, 1947

Posing in front of Mark Twain the 1,341 years old, 331 ft tall giant Sequoia, California, 1892

The first drive-in theater in the state of California opened in Los Angeles, 1935

General Electric television ad from 1951

 

[Art]

Fred, Thanks!

You outdid yourself on this photo barrage of really cool yesterday memories [and long ago insites]!!

 

[GFC]

I enjoyed the old photos. Nice step back through the time machine. Thanks.

 

[SteveK]

I enjoyed the time travel pictures. But this one caught my attention.



In 1971 a house in our area was around $40,000, an acre lot $3,000
My annual income was $2.25 an hour, annual $4680
New car I bought then was $1500

2019 same style house $900,000
hourly wage $60 (up 26.6 times) annual $124,800
New Car $65,000

Hmm, the numbers are up but the ratios are similar in 1938, 1971 & today.
Average Income is about 14% of house and about twice that of the average new car.
So why were the steaks bigger back in the day?

 

[menzies]

So why were the steaks bigger back in the day?

Smaller stomachs back then made them feel bigger!

 

[SteveK]

Smaller stomachs back then made them feel bigger!

 

[Al]

An old man was walking in Amsterdam and passed a hooker standing at her door.

She called out to him, "Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"
He replied, "No girl, that's no longer possible for me."
Replied the hooker: "Come on, what have we got to lose, we can give it a try!"
They went inside. They undressed, and he performed like a young buck, giving it to her three times in a row.
"Oh my goodness", said the hooker, breathless, "and you said that it was no longer possible for you!"
The old guy said, "Oh, screwing is no problem, it's the paying that’s no longer possible!"

 

[Art]

An old man was walking in Amsterdam and passed a hooker standing at her door.

She called out to him, "Granddad, why don't we give it a try?"
He replied, "No girl, that's no longer possible for me."
Replied the hooker: "Come on, what have we got to lose, we can give it a try!"
They went inside. They undressed, and he performed like a young buck, giving it to her three times in a row.
"Oh my goodness", said the hooker, breathless, "and you said that it was no longer possible for you!"
The old guy said, "Oh, screwing is no problem, it's the paying that’s no longer possible!"

Al - There you go telling stories again! - LOL

 

[FF]

Some old ones ,

 Jewish Comedians.Â
Some of us miss the old kind of (Yiddish) humor. Not a single swear word in their comic routines as shown below:
Â
Â
A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?"
The man says, "I make a good living."
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Â

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Â

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me!
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Â

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.Â
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Â


My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea .
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Â


My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night. This time I was the one who stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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Â


My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
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Â


The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
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Â


The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."
Mrs. Cohen replied, "So did my arthritis!"
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-


Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"Â
Patient: "I AM 60!"Â
Doctor:Â "See! What did I tell you?"

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Â

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest.Â
The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?

The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
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Â


Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears. "Â
Doctor: "Don't answer!"

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Â


A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking.
The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."
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Â


A man called his mother in Florida . "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because, I didn't want my mouth to be full in case you should call."
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Â


A Jewish man said that when he was growing up, they always had two choices for dinner - Take it or leave it.
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Â


A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.
She asks, "What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."


​

 

[wkearney99]

Some old ones ,

Jewish Comedians....​

I love the old catskills era Jewish comedy material. That coupled with the timing of delivery and their accents... truly funny stuff.

 

[FF]

[FONT=&quot]Clever poses!  [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

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[FF]

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[Larry M]

...

 

[Art]

...

I emailed that photo to my wife - LOL!! And, we have THREE!!

 

[Boat]

Reward Lost Puppy

 

[DCDC]

Gahan Wilson, Vividly Macabre Cartoonist, Dies at 89

 

[Larry M]

An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up....

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.

The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.

 

[menzies]

Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggie style.

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead!

[I know, not really a joke for most of us!]

 

[jeffnick]

Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggie style.

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead!

[I know, not really a joke for most of us!]

I met my X at the bar last night.
After a few drinks I went over and said, "How about it? One more time for old time sake?"
She said, "Over my dead body!"
I said "OK, let's not change a thing."

 

[FF]

[FONT=&quot]MY SON WAS FLUNKING OUTÂ OF COLLEGE SO I TOLD MY SON, "YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE." HE SAID, "NO." [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[FONT=&quot]I TOLD HIM, "SHE IS BILL GATES' DAUGHTER." [/FONT]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [FONT=&quot]HE SAID, "YES."
[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, "I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON." [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]BILL GATES SAID, "NO." [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[FONT=&quot]I TOLD BILL GATES, "MY SON IS THE CEO OF THE WORLD BANK." [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]BILL GATES SAID, "OK." [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE CEO. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]HE SAID, "NO." [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I TOLD HIM, "MY SON IS BILL GATES' SON-IN-LAW." [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]HE SAID, "OK." [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS. [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[FONT=&quot]And thus, began the practice of hiring morons to work in influential positions of government to this day. [/FONT][/FONT]
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[FlyWright]

 

[Capn Craig]

MY SON WAS FLUNKING OUTÂ OF COLLEGE SO I TOLD MY SON, "YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE." HE SAID, "NO."

I TOLD HIM, "SHE IS BILL GATES' DAUGHTER."
HE SAID, "YES."

I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, "I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON."
BILL GATES SAID, "NO."

I TOLD BILL GATES, "MY SON IS THE CEO OF THE WORLD BANK."
BILL GATES SAID, "OK."

I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE CEO.
HE SAID, "NO."

I TOLD HIM, "MY SON IS BILL GATES' SON-IN-LAW."
HE SAID, "OK."

AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS.

And thus, began the practice of hiring morons to work in influential positions of government to this day.




Is your son's name Hunter Biden ???

 

[menzies]

Never drink and wrap presents.

And if anyone gets a remote for Christmas, I'm gonna need that back.

 

[menzies]

..

 

[Art]

Two blonds walk side by side, right into a building...

You'd think one of them would have known!

 

[Boat]

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times]W. C. Fields[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman,Times]Displaying 1 through 8 of 8 Quotes[/FONT]
"A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for." (W. C. Fields)
"A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her." (W. C. Fields)
"Fish f*** in it." (W. C. Fields, explanation for why he never drank water)
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." (W. C. Fields)
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food." (W. C. Fields)
"Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned." (W. C. Fields)
"Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days." (W. C. Fields)
"Start every day with a smile and get it over with." (W. C. Fields)

 

[RT Firefly]

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields

 

[Art]

Man says to W.C.:

You're drunk!

W.C. snaps back:

Yeah... well, I'm drunk and you're crazy. Tomorrow I'll be sober. You'll be crazy for the rest of your life!