|
|
09-22-2015, 01:31 AM
|
#841
|
Guru
City: Pahrump, NV
Vessel Name: Pairadice
Vessel Model: Sold Selene 47
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,967
|
Oh Don!
When I was a bit younger I had a saying, " I can drink her pretty, I can drink her thin, I just can't drink her both".
|
|
|
09-22-2015, 07:01 AM
|
#842
|
Guru
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,569
|
Your Bad Don... Bad... Ba Ba BAD!!
But funny!
|
|
|
09-22-2015, 07:31 AM
|
#843
|
Guru
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,569
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crusty Chief
Oh Don!
When I was a bit younger I had a saying, " I can drink her pretty, I can drink her thin, I just can't drink her both".
|
At closing time... when all that remained were the "prettiest"...
Very early 1970's: For the remaining pretties at the bar; "Stop yer grinnen an drop yer linen" was often exclaimed by Penobscot Bay Lobstermen and/or Gloucester Fishermen in my Camden Maine restaurant/tavern. Yes - times in that bar could become quite raucous.
|
|
|
09-22-2015, 08:17 AM
|
#844
|
Guru
City: Hailing Port: Charleston, SC
Vessel Name: Moonstruck
Vessel Model: Sabre 42 Hardtop Express
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,276
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art
Your Bad Don... Bad... Ba Ba BAD!!
But funny!
|
Yeah, Art. I'm on the boat this week totally unsupervised. I am starting to realize that a little supervision is probably not a bad thing.
|
|
|
09-22-2015, 08:24 AM
|
#845
|
Guru
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,569
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonstruck
Yeah, Art. I'm on the boat this week totally unsupervised. I am starting to realize that a little supervision is probably not a bad thing.
|
O' Oh!!
|
|
|
09-22-2015, 07:23 PM
|
#846
|
Guru
City: Hailing Port: Charleston, SC
Vessel Name: Moonstruck
Vessel Model: Sabre 42 Hardtop Express
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,276
|
THE OLD TEXAS RANCHER
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride.
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old man.
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.
'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'
Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.'
Don't ever underestimate old guys .
|
|
|
09-22-2015, 11:25 PM
|
#847
|
Guru
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,569
|
Don... being alone aboard boat... in addition to telling ribald sex jokes... I'm not going to ask what else you may be doing... please don't tell!
|
|
|
09-22-2015, 11:47 PM
|
#848
|
Guru
City: Diberville Mississippi
Vessel Name: KnotDoneYet
Vessel Model: 1983 42' Present Sundeck
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,450
|
That's true Art- this "unsupervised" thing may not be for everybody,,, .
Forky
1983 Present 42 Sundeck
Twin Lehman 135's
✌️
__________________
Steve Point Cadet/ Biloxi, Mississippi USA
*Present 42 twin 135 Lehmans
|
|
|
09-24-2015, 05:24 AM
|
#849
|
Guru
City: Jacksonville
Vessel Name: SONAS
Vessel Model: Grand Alaskan 53
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,235
|
Just to get your day started off right!
|
|
|
09-24-2015, 05:40 AM
|
#850
|
Guru
City: Jacksonville
Vessel Name: SONAS
Vessel Model: Grand Alaskan 53
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,235
|
Posted recently on the door of the Titanic exhibit in Belfast.
|
|
|
09-25-2015, 07:55 AM
|
#851
|
Guru
City: Fort Myers, FL... Summers in the Great Lakes
Vessel Name: Slow Hand
Vessel Model: Cherubini Independence 45
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 12,818
|
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat,” agreed to look
after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbor was on vacation. She
had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs
apart.
As she was drifting off to sleep, that night, she heard awful howling
and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked
together, unable to disengage.
Unable to separate them, and even though it was very late, she called
her vet, who answered with a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the
phone and place it on the floor alongside the dogs. I will then call
you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and they will be
able to separate."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Just worked for me," he replied.
Ted
__________________
Blog: mvslowhand.com
I'm tired of fast moves, I've got a slow groove, on my mind.....
I want to spend some time, Not come and go in a heated rush.....
"Slow Hand" by The Pointer Sisters
|
|
|
09-30-2015, 08:26 AM
|
#852
|
Senior Member
City: Tasmania
Vessel Model: Old Town Loon
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 218
|
Good Luck Mr. Gorsky
When Apollo astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usually com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark: "Good luck Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
But, (on July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
Apparently a true story.
|
|
|
10-03-2015, 05:12 AM
|
#853
|
Guru
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 22,553
|
For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents and thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL.  Â
 Â
I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference.  Â
ON TURNING 70Â
'I still chase women, but only downhill.'
ON TURNING 80Â
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.' ON TURNING 90Â
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.' ON TURNING 100Â
'I don't feel old. In fact,   I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.' ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXINGÂ
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.' ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCARÂ
'Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.' ON GOLFÂ
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.' ON PRESIDENTSÂ
'I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six.' ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR
HIS CAREERÂ
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother,
Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.' ON RECEIVING THE
CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDALÂ
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.' ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTYÂ
'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.' ON HIS SIX BROTHERSÂ
'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.' ON HIS EARLY FAILURESÂ
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.' ON GOING TO HEAVENÂ
'I've done benefits for ALL religions.
I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'Â
Give me a sense of humor Lord, give me the grace to see a joke,Â
To get some humor out of life, and pass it on to other folk.Â
Â
|
|
|
10-03-2015, 07:41 AM
|
#854
|
Guru
City: SF Bay Area
Vessel Model: Tollycraft 34' Tri Cabin
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12,569
|
Ya gotta love Bob Hope! He and Bing were a funny pair .... On The Road To > > >!!
|
|
|
10-03-2015, 09:01 AM
|
#855
|
Guru
City: Jacksonville
Vessel Name: SONAS
Vessel Model: Grand Alaskan 53
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,235
|
Hope and Chaplin, two great British comedians!
|
|
|
10-03-2015, 11:07 AM
|
#856
|
Guru
City: Madeira Beach, FL
Vessel Name: Seaweed
Vessel Model: Schucker mini-trawler
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,228
|
Regarding Bob Hope, a line from one of his movies (click link and download -- don't know how to make it appear/play in Chrome)
http://janice142.com/Videos/BobHope-MovieLine.wmv
And a couple that touched me:
and gosh, Bing was something else, eh?
|
|
|
10-05-2015, 10:41 PM
|
#857
|
Enigma
City: Slicker?
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 16,540
|
__________________
RTF
|
|
|
10-06-2015, 08:18 AM
|
#858
|
TF Site Team
City: Jacksonville
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 11,670
|
Cheer up!
Bill tried to cheer up Hillary this morning by reminding her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president until after he had served 27 years in prison.
|
|
|
10-06-2015, 05:20 PM
|
#859
|
Guru
City: Hailing Port: Charleston, SC
Vessel Name: Moonstruck
Vessel Model: Sabre 42 Hardtop Express
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,276
|
|
|
|
10-06-2015, 05:43 PM
|
#860
|
Guru
City: Tri Cities, WA
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4,406
|
Democrat, Republican, or Southerner Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
*The answer can be found by posing the following question:*
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you...
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:
Democrat's Answer:
� Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
� What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
� Does the man look poor or oppressed?
� Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
� Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
� Could we run away?
� What does my wife think?
� What about the kids?
� Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
� What does the law say about this situation?
� Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
� Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
� Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
� Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
� If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
� Should I call 9-1-1?
� Why is this street so deserted?
� We need to raise taxes, have a puff, pass and paint day and everything will be better.
� Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
� I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
� This is all so confusing!
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG!
Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?
Wife: You are NOT taking that to the Taxidermist!
__________________
Mike and Tina
1981 Boston Whaler 13'
|
|
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Similar Threads
|
Thread |
Thread Starter |
Forum |
Replies |
Last Post |
Nautical Humor
|
skipperdude |
Harbor Chat |
0 |
05-19-2011 12:37 PM |
|
» Trawler Discussions |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|